Loner looking for another loner

Nevyn

Slattery86 if you have an issue with a post report it, kell already recieved a sanction for that post, so drop it.

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

leggo

Guys do you realise that taking the approach of "Well I have to deal with these issues, so get the finger out and deal with them yourself!" doesn't actually help the guy or offer anything productive to the conversation whatsoever? I hope it made you all feel better about yourselves though.

OP, what you have uncovered here is a hole in your life that you're looking to fix. And you're intelligent enough to realise that you're not going to fix it if you continue to do things the same way.

The rest of your feelings towards this are self-justification for you being this way. That's fine. Your thought pattern is not neccessarily the WRONG way and you don't need to explain or qualify yourself to anybody here.

But, by virtue of you simply coming to PI and making this thread, you've made the brave decision to confront what is obviously bothering you and you'd like to fix.

So, disregarding the confrontational posts (because focusing on the people behind these is wasted energy as far as the aim of this thread goes), you accept that you want to make a change to achieve this goal. Fair? But, at the same time, you're not prepared to become the guy who goes out every weekend, gets pissed and falls home with a randomer, correct?

I ask you now: to what degree are you CURRENTLY willing to negotiate from your current stance in order to find a like-minded, potential partner? And is there any way that you can marry the two? (i.e. if there's something in particular you've always wanted to learn, would you be prepared to take a night class in it and meet new people along the way?)

TM

This is the only clear question in the original post:

Notinterested wrote: »

Is anyone else like that, and do they have problems meeting people?

and I would imagine that the answer is "yes" - many people (perhaps many of us here) have been/felt like that and faced that issue. However it's not clear what other feedback/advice you might be looking for. Perhaps you could clarify?

Slattery86

What I find annoying is that so many people seem to believe that individual personalities like the OP's should be "fixed", "got over", "improved" etc, instead of just accepted for what they are. Nobody tries to dictate to these people ever in turn, so why do they think they should have the right to do so to other people?

And no, its not a light switch to be turned on and off- or like buying a black or silver television, many people are just that way, and its as natural / uncontrolable as breathing or eating to them. And yet people feel they have some justification for pestering perfectly normal individuals, who just so happen to prefer their own company to "come out" of themselves, or annoy them constantly on a daily basis with questions such as "are you ok", "what's wrong" etc- or by trying to habitally force these people into making chit chat.

I'm sick of this nonsense. The OP was expressing who and what he was, something he probably has no control over (maybe even genetically prone to be that way), and yet every second post is either patronising or insulting. Maybe this is why some of us don't bother, we know its not worth the effort or time, and then theres just the superficial aspect of it all (sitting in the pub blabbering away about the weather, cornation street etc). Live and let live.

Thornography

Peggypeg wrote: »

Hey OP, I don't think you'll find a gf with an arrogant attitude like that, you think 90% of what humans do is futile? Do you not think sitting around on your own thinking quiet thoughts is a bit futile hmmm?

And sitting around filling people with absolute bull**** is more positive? especially the bull**** that hurts and distorts people?

And this aint arrogance, This is fact. Your just not a thinker peg.

BumbleB

Slattery86 wrote: »

What I find annoying is that so many people seem to believe that individual personalities like the OP's should be "fixed", "got over", "improved" etc, instead of just accepted for what they are. Nobody tries to dictate to these people ever in turn, so why do they think they should have the right to do so to other people?

And no, its not a light switch to be turned on and off- or like buying a black or silver television, many people are just that way, and its as natural / uncontrolable as breathing or eating to them. And yet people feel they have some justification for pestering perfectly normal individuals, who just so happen to prefer their own company to "come out" of themselves, or annoy them constantly on a daily basis with questions such as "are you ok", "what's wrong" etc- or by trying to habitally force these people into making chit chat.

I'm exactly like the op and I understand his position , but there comes a crosswords in your life where you either totally dissasociate with people or just blend in ,there has to be a compromise at some stage ,or you will be alone.

Unfortunately that is the way it is . I came to that crossroads and I decided to make an effort to blend in.I was lucky though in school there was a least 6 people the same situation and we used to hang around.

Nowadays ,I live in these two worlds, people wouldn't know in a million years that I'm extremely quiet and completative about the mysteries of the universe.Believe you me it was difficult to do at the start but I grew to like it, nowadays ,I can talk to anybody at all anywhere .

Nevyn

BumbleB wrote: »

I'm exactly like the op and I understand his position , but there comes a crosswords in your life where you either totally dissasociate with people or just blend in ,there has to be a compromise at some stage ,or you will be alone.


Unfortunately that is the way it is . I came to that crossroads and I decided to make an effort to blend in.I was lucky though in school there was a least 6 people the same situation and we used to hang around.

Nowadays ,I live in these two worlds, people wouldn't know in a million years that I'm extremely quiet and completative about the mysteries of the universe.Believe you me it was difficult to do at the start but I grew to like it, nowadays ,I can talk to anybody at all anywhere .

There are more then those two options, people are more diverse then that and if you do not like the company you find yourself in then change your socail scene.

There is nothing wrong in wanting the person you may want to be in a relationship to be on the same level of in and have some of the same interests. I could never date someone who didn't read or who only had an interest in soccer or someone with whom I could not have a wide range of intresting and diverse conversations with.

I don't want to blend in and be bland and try live a life which makes me feel trapped. Some people are sheep and some are goats you just need to find the right people to have in your life and it make take more effort.

scientist

Hi there, I too am introverted. I can perform socially but i hate all the bull**** girls go on with . I am a girl myself but i'm married. i havent met many like me. I have lost touch with any friends i used to have. I am not condescending or arrogant, \i just cant stand the mundane. There is nothing wrong with this. People in our society are rewarded for being extroverts but why should they be rewarded when it comes naturally to them. People who are introverted have different intuitive skills and can sense people really well, where extroverts cannot. They are usually oblivious to the details. I prefer to be me. Introverted and happy in my own company. I simply do not need others to entertain me because i can entertain myself. I know i am one of very few people in the world that does not need the company of others. But i have to say i love being like this. It makes me free to think independently.