Going to be a dad - Advice please

burger1979

I am going to be a dad for the first time, my wife is 7 weeks pregnant and we are chuffed. But also confused. I have a few queries and i'm hoping that someone will be able to answer/help me on them.

first off how do i support her through it all? i mean this is new to me and her but what extra little bits can i do through the next few months to help her along? So far in these early stages she is just getting tired in the evenings. there is no sign of morning sickness. if there are any women out there who can tell me what thigns their partners done for them through the early stages to make it easier on them please tell.

Also, and i dont want to paint my wife in a bad light here, she is missing having an alcoholic beverage every now and then. She is by no means an alco but like everyone who does drink she liked to relax with a glass of wine every now and then. Thing is this being around christmas she is going to parties and telling people that she is not drinking and people look back at her with 2 heads going 'sure you have to drink its christmas'!!!!! on nights out previously she might not drink at all but she is finding it hard to keep up with the excuses to everyone especially her friends who see her often and keep asking (we have not told anyone yet about it wating for first scan to see if eveything is ok scan going to take place at week 12). so what can i do to help her along? we have been out for a few nights and i have not drunk either so that i can drive home and she can sleep in the car on the way home. but how do women cope with it all?

well thats it and thanks for reading if anyone has any handy little tips then please do tell.

burger

Acoshla

Hi burger1979,

First of congrats! Sorry now but I don't have any kids or anything, but I thought I might be able to help with the excuse for not drinking.

I wasn't drinking for the past few months due to a constant kidney infection, doctor told me not to drink for a couple of reasons - antibiotics obviously, alcohol aggravates almost any illness, so does sugar, and the yeast in beer would increase chances of a yeast infection, which antibiotics can cause so I would've just basically given myself a yeast infection. If people asked why I wasn't drinking I just said kidney infection, if they did the "ah sure go on" thing I just basically told them any of these few reasons, it especially shuts women up fast because most women know how awful a kidney infection is. I normally drank diet 7up or sprite as it had no sugar (although they have aspartame so maybe sparkling water would be her best option) and it looks like vodka and white so people who are already tipsy don't even notice!

Hope this maybe helps with at least one of your questions

D rog

Congrats! There are some okay non alco beers out there if she can stomach them poured into a glass they look just the same and saves the hassle of repeating all your excuses. Hope it goes well.

crazy cat lady

She might find that she doesn't want to drink! One of the earliest signs that I was pregnant - even before I had done a test - was that I couldn't finish my Saturday night bottle of wine!

I haven't missed drinking at all I have to say, but the OH has been very supportive in not drinking with me (I think he's looking forward to a drink or 2 in a few days/weeks)

The odd glass of wine in pregnancy isn't thought to be harmful anyway. Excessive drinking can lead to fetal alcohol syndrome. However, a odd glass of a good red wine is thought to actually be beneficial in pregnancy!

TargetWidow

What a lovely husband you are!
Here's a list of the kind of things I like while in early pregnancy.
* Lifting of any kind, fuel, shopping etc is now your job for the next year or so depending on whether or not she ends up having a c-section.
* Learn to love the way her body changes and show how you really like these changes too. She might not feel very sexy for a few weeks but it's about making your baby mamma feel beautiful as she blossoms.
* Start the search for babysitters. This is one I screwed up on. DD is 20mths old and we still dont have a proper babysitter and baby 2 is on the way with the last 12 weeks. Hubby is now on the case thankfully.
* Maybe you could get some nice sheets for the bed. The tiredness is like nothing else on earth and your bed becomes your best friend. I love my good sheets right now.
* If she buys you a guys guide to pregnancy type book, read it. Ask her questions if you are curious. She will love that you are so interested.
* The drink thing may not even be an issue but discuss it with her first. My hubby and I decided that if anyone was ignorant enough to push it with the go-wan go-wan go-wan treatment he was to go behind my back roll his eyes and make hand gestures like I had a drink problem. Shocks the daylights outta the nosey people, gives you a great laugh on the car ride home, and an even better laugh this time next year when you meet the same dickheads who now realize you made up a pile of steaming ****e to tell them because they were nosey and pushy. Love doing this!
* Stock up on cream crackers and sucky sweets in case the morning sickness hits. If it does pop some in her handbag for work too.
* Talk your sex situation over together. Ye might both be pleasantly surprised

batmanbaby

Aww thats such a lovely message to read! I am 34 weeks this week and I have to say my partner has been amazing The last poster gave some really good advice.
Make your lady feel like she's beautiful it's a really big change in your body and you can get very upset especially when you start putting on weight but are not quite showing yet.

Give her foot rubs love these there like heavan! and back rubs but be careful not to rub the lower back. You can also organise a pregnancy massage.
Start doing as much of the house work as possible and all lifting/carrying ect.

Buy her pillows (you can get a gret set in arg*s) a wedge and body pillows ect really help with sleeping later on.

Take as much interest as you can ask questions pick out names and rub in some oils and creams on her belly when it starts getting bigger and talk to the baby too.

But you must remember that you guys were a couple before you got pregnant and this will be thet last time it's just the two of you so don't forget the romance and the cuddles that are for you as a couple and not about the baby.

Oh n when she's crying at nothing at all just be there you don't have to understand just comfort.

I wish you all the best enjoy the next few mnts.;)

TargetWidow

There will come a stage when she won't be able to get at her feet in the bath and shower. This will result in her tootsies being in dire need of some TLC. You could either: A) give her a home pedicure yourself on a regular basis or (if funds permit) send her off for a regular pedicure at a salon. Personally I have a thing about strangers touching my feet so hubby would be more than welcome to that job.

Irish-Princess

Hey hey, congrats on your news!!! i'm sure it was great to hear it coming ujp to xmas

were due our baby next month, and all i can say is the best thing to do is when she has her moods let her, lol, my boyfriend has only survived me over the past few months by letting me have my random cries and the odd losing of the head lol, there were so many times he'd walk in the door from work and i'd just start crying for no reason, so bear with her moods lol.

Other than that (my bf in the background said lots of hugs) and it will come naturally, one thing you should do, obviously in moderation, is if she wants something in the middle of the night go get it for her lol my bf didnt in fact he got me up in the middle of the night to get him a burger lol

Oh and make sure you throw her compliments even when she's looking rough lol, my confidence was gone as soon as i started showing and couldnt get my hair done, so i've felt horrible looking the past few months, make her think she's the best looking girl in the world even though we go through our v lazy days in pregnancy :)

The next few months will fly by and it will come naturally to you!! good luck

Buffy the bitch

TargetWidow wrote: »

What a lovely husband you are!
Here's a list of the kind of things I like while in early pregnancy.
* Lifting of any kind, fuel, shopping etc is now your job for the next year or so depending on whether or not she ends up having a c-section.
* Learn to love the way her body changes and show how you really like these changes too. She might not feel very sexy for a few weeks but it's about making your baby mamma feel beautiful as she blossoms.
* Start the search for babysitters. This is one I screwed up on. DD is 20mths old and we still dont have a proper babysitter and baby 2 is on the way with the last 12 weeks. Hubby is now on the case thankfully.
* Maybe you could get some nice sheets for the bed. The tiredness is like nothing else on earth and your bed becomes your best friend. I love my good sheets right now.
* If she buys you a guys guide to pregnancy type book, read it. Ask her questions if you are curious. She will love that you are so interested.
* The drink thing may not even be an issue but discuss it with her first. My hubby and I decided that if anyone was ignorant enough to push it with the go-wan go-wan go-wan treatment he was to go behind my back roll his eyes and make hand gestures like I had a drink problem. Shocks the daylights outta the nosey people, gives you a great laugh on the car ride home, and an even better laugh this time next year when you meet the same dickheads who now realize you made up a pile of steaming ****e to tell them because they were nosey and pushy. Love doing this!
* Stock up on cream crackers and sucky sweets in case the morning sickness hits. If it does pop some in her handbag for work too.
* Talk your sex situation over together. Ye might both be pleasantly surprised

I'm sorry but you sound like a fruit cake.

brayblue24

Bit of advice from a dad to a dad (to be)-ladies please don't take offence, there's none intended

*Read the books before the birth; know what's going on in your partner's body-they're actually fascinating books with seriously informative material inside

*The saying "sleeping like a baby" is a load of crap-unless you mean fidgeting and gurgling and waking up every few hours for grub, that is!

*Take an active role from day one. I may (and am) be accused of a lot of things but not being around is not one of them. Your saturday golf will have to take a back seat for a while-don't take that out on partner or baby.

*when baby is very young your car is not your own. If you are car proud (I was) forget about it. All sorts will get spilled all over the shop. The windows will have more graffitti than your average railway bridge and a bottle of Neutrodol neutralises the smell of projectile vomit:D Also, when you're going out anywhere it takes about an hour to get ready, what with high chairs and bags and half the Argos catalogue in the boot. Again, don't get thick-it's all necessary. I found that out the hard way:(

*babies and kids get sick and may appear quite ill at times. I got very worried about our first-thankfully herself was a bit of a rock in that department-but you will be on first name terms with your doctor and their secretary and may even get your own parking space at the surgery in the first year. You'll definitely know their opening hours. It's all normal.

*so, that's all I can think of at this stage. I know it's long winded but I still say now (mine are 13 and 10) that I wish I had known this back then. I expected something a lot different-just not sure what exactly.

Would I go through it all again now?-not a chance. If I was 14 years younger would I go through it all again? Like a shot!-the best things that ever happened to me.

I'll finish on this one though. About 4-6 weeks after junior arrives and you're completely worn out through lack of sleep and not fit to even think about saturday's golf, never mind contemplate playing it, just watch out for your baby's first smile. Then you'll understand why I went to the trouble of writing the above:)

Congratulations, by the way.

p.s. when they reach about 2 they're serious crack and you're their hero-that changes but that's for another thread!!

Irish-Princess

brayblue24 wrote: »

Bit of advice from a dad to a dad (to be)-ladies please don't take offence, there's none intended

*Read the books before the birth; know what's going on in your partner's body-they're actually fascinating books with seriously informative material inside

*The saying "sleeping like a baby" is a load of crap-unless you mean fidgeting and gurgling and waking up every few hours for grub, that is!

*Take an active role from day one. I may (and am) be accused of a lot of things but not being around is not one of them. Your saturday golf will have to take a back seat for a while-don't take that out on partner or baby.

*when baby is very young your car is not your own. If you are car proud (I was) forget about it. All sorts will get spilled all over the shop. The windows will have more graffitti than your average railway bridge and a bottle of Neutrodol neutralises the smell of projectile vomit:D Also, when you're going out anywhere it takes about an hour to get ready, what with high chairs and bags and half the Argos catalogue in the boot. Again, don't get thick-it's all necessary. I found that out the hard way:(

*babies and kids get sick and may appear quite ill at times. I got very worried about our first-thankfully herself was a bit of a rock in that department-but you will be on first name terms with your doctor and their secretary and may even get your own parking space at the surgery in the first year. You'll definitely know their opening hours. It's all normal.

*so, that's all I can think of at this stage. I know it's long winded but I still say now (mine are 13 and 10) that I wish I had known this back then. I expected something a lot different-just not sure what exactly.

Would I go through it all again now?-not a chance. If I was 14 years younger would I go through it all again? Like a shot!-the best things that ever happened to me.

I'll finish on this one though. About 4-6 weeks after junior arrives and you're completely worn out through lack of sleep and not fit to even think about saturday's golf, never mind contemplate playing it, just watch out for your baby's first smile. Then you'll understand why I went to the trouble of writing the above:)

Congratulations, by the way.

p.s. when they reach about 2 they're serious crack and you're their hero-that changes but that's for another thread!!

I dont think any woman would have been offended by that post ya found the perfect balance as to why kids are so great but that they are hard work to fair play

Nevyn

Buffy the bitch banned for 1 week to contemplate the site rules.

Irish-Princess

Thaedydal wrote: »

Buffy the bitch banned for 1 week to contemplate the site rules.

Definately deserved

ravydavygravy

My opinion, as a dad to a two-year old and number two on the way any day now (due tomorrow):

* Read the pregnancy books, even if you don't want to. Its actually handy to know some of the stuff. It matters to her that you make the effort.

* Anything/anywhere you ever wanted to do/go, do it now. It'll be several years before you get the chance again. Seriously, once that baby arrives, you will not be going or doing anything for several months.

* Accept you will never be able to "just head out" again - leaving the house will take at least 30 mins of preparation. Even now with 2 years of practice, its 10 mins to get sorted to head out for any trip longer than walking to the shop and back.

* Your wife will get a sudden huge set of notions about what is required for a new baby from talking to other mums on pregnancy groups - some of these things may seem unnecessary and you may be required to be the voice of reason. We did not need a lot of the stuff we bought first time around (you need very little really).

What I think you *need* (off the top of my head....):

• Pack of Nappies (newborn size 1 or 2) + baby wipes + sudocream - don't buy too many nappies until you see the size of the baby
• 10 babygros and 10 baby vests (we used long sleeve ones) - buy 3-6 month babygros, they'll be big on the newborn, but they'll last longer than a few weeks. Also it hardly matters that they look big on the baby. Think function, not form.
• Baby hats and gloves (2-3) - babys heads get cold (can't regulate body temp yet), and the gloves stop them scratching themselves
• Cellular blankets (4-5) - for sleeping and wrapping baby up in buggy
• 1-2 outdoor suits (something like a big thick baby gro, with a hood)
• Baby bath, Johnsons babywash, soft sponge
• Buggy and infant car seat (cheap travel system? secondhand?)
• Cot or moses basket (with mattress) - something cheap, you'll only use it for a few months - note that you can use normal pillow cases as sheets for these
• Baby monitor - get a decent digital one, or it'll interfere with your wifi/bluetooth/ps3 - we eventually bought http://tinyurl.com/y98urr4
• Bottles/Microwave Steriliser/Infant formula (if not breastfeeding - breastfeeding is a good idea though...)
• Bag to carry 2-3 nappies + small cream + small wipes + change of clothes - don't spend a fortune on a special nappy bag, any bag will do. We currently use a north face laptop bag we got for €20 in the outlet store in Kildare Village
• A newborn soother or two and a few nipple shields (in case your wife has trouble initially breastfeeding due to nipple size/shape) - also nipple cream...

Thats about it. It'll be a real change of lifestyle, but its worth it (even if it doesn't feel like it at 2am the first time baby gets croup....)

Any specific questions, fire away. I'll answer as best I can...

Dave

TargetWidow

So to get back on track anyway OP....
You can get fetal dopplers which enable you to listen to the heartbeat of the baby from about 12 weeks on. I got a great recording at around 13 weeks the last time. I used it as my night-time/baby sleeping ring tone for about the first two months. You could get her one of those? The one I have is the Hi babe Fetal Doppler by Ana Wiz. Google is for details. Great to calm the nerves too when you have a few weeks to go to the next scan to see if baby is ok. Hope this is of assistance to you OP.:p

Khannie

TargetWidow wrote: »

Great to calm the nerves too when you have a few weeks to go to the next scan to see if baby is ok.

This is just a general thing because the OP's a while to go yet....The dopplers are great for this...BUT...your primary gauge should be feeling regular movement (if you're at that stage). I read about a woman who didn't go for medical attention despite her baby moving less because she had a doppler and thought she was grand when babys heart rate seemed ok.

burger1979

Thanks for all the feedback folks some nice tips in there for the future and present, apologies but just a quick reply as benn busy with the crimbo period and all. will let you all how we get on over the next few months, got the first scan at the end of janauary so will hopefully get to see babay for first time then.

thanks again

burger1979

nikkir359

you are and soo sweet.... i wish you the best of luck for you and your wife fair play for asking for help thats great most men ... wouldnt its nice to know some men are decent she is a lucky woman ...without a doubt you will be a great dad :D:D

Swizzles

TargetWidow wrote: »

So to get back on track anyway OP....
You can get fetal dopplers which enable you to listen to the heartbeat of the baby from about 12 weeks on. I got a great recording at around 13 weeks the last time. I used it as my night-time/baby sleeping ring tone for about the first two months. You could get her one of those? The one I have is the Hi babe Fetal Doppler by Ana Wiz. Google is for details. Great to calm the nerves too when you have a few weeks to go to the next scan to see if baby is ok. Hope this is of assistance to you OP.:p

Where did you but this?i googled it but it just shows canada..The one in mothercare is from 21 weeks on so id prefer an earlier one .

eviltwin

My hubbie bought me a fetal doppler from a place called Tony Kealys in Northside ( there is one on the southside - not sure where )

Its called the Angel sounds and it is brilliant

I was using it from week 12 and could hear a heartbeat loud and clear from week 16 and used it every day right up until he was born

I've been able to use it to record his hearbeat onto the computer and you can record mums heartbeat too ( meant to help baby to sleep so they say )

It cost about 45 euros worth every single penny in my opinion.

supermum1

burger1979 wrote: »

I am going to be a dad for the first time, my wife is 7 weeks pregnant and we are chuffed. But also confused. I have a few queries and i'm hoping that someone will be able to answer/help me on them.

first off how do i support her through it all? i mean this is new to me and her but what extra little bits can i do through the next few months to help her along? So far in these early stages she is just getting tired in the evenings. there is no sign of morning sickness. if there are any women out there who can tell me what thigns their partners done for them through the early stages to make it easier on them please tell.

Also, and i dont want to paint my wife in a bad light here, she is missing having an alcoholic beverage every now and then. She is by no means an alco but like everyone who does drink she liked to relax with a glass of wine every now and then. Thing is this being around christmas she is going to parties and telling people that she is not drinking and people look back at her with 2 heads going 'sure you have to drink its christmas'!!!!! on nights out previously she might not drink at all but she is finding it hard to keep up with the excuses to everyone especially her friends who see her often and keep asking (we have not told anyone yet about it wating for first scan to see if eveything is ok scan going to take place at week 12). so what can i do to help her along? we have been out for a few nights and i have not drunk either so that i can drive home and she can sleep in the car on the way home. but how do women cope with it all?

well thats it and thanks for reading if anyone has any handy little tips then please do tell.

burger

What an amazing post!! By the sounds of it your gonna do just fine!!

I have an 8 month old son, and from the time I found out my husband has been amazing!!

It's the little things that make such a difference!

He always brought me home a toffee crisp at night (my biggest craving)

He rubbed my feet.

he helped with the house work.

He accepted my hormonal temper tantrums with ease.

He ALWAYS made me beautiful.


But always remember, as hard as it is for us, it's hard for men too. You have to deal with a lot and you don't get a lot of credit for it. always talk about what your feeling, even your concerns, you can be guaranteed that she's feeling the same, and it makes us feel better to know we're not alone!

Of all the advice I was given (and there was plenty) one thing that a friend told me always stuck, "you'll laugh more than you'll cry) and it is certainly true!

Enjoy every minute of it!!

burger1979

had a bit of an upsetting moment over the weekend about the pregnancy, wife noticed bleeding on sat night (we were at a house party in dublin). i had, had 2 drinks so could not drive, we were staying at my parents. anywho quick call to the dad, he came and picked us up and drove, slippy and skiddely (is that a word?) to holles st.

everything ok though, put the bejaysis into the wife. but remained calm and done all that needed to be done. my cousin was at the party and she is a midwife so called her and she said its probably nothing but get it checked anway. so unplanned but seen the baby for the first time on sat night, was amazing to see it. little heart beating rapidly, legs there, could not see the arms but the doc said that was ok. got the first proper scan in 2 weeks. of course since we rushed out of the party people have been guessing and some have guessed correctly.

supermum1 - thanks for the advice. i have taken to increasing the house work load. washing ironing hoovering no bother to me, dont mind doing it to be honest i likes a clean house. i never used to do toilets but going to have to start that soon. also have to start with the feet rubbing. as for me telling her what i feel and how its effecting me, well its all ok so far, i dont mind the extra things to be done at home. i think the wife tries not to moan on and on about being so tired to me but thats why i have the large shoulders, and too her credit she has been doing really really well. i think she also knows that i need some time to myself, this for me is football training and playing footie. have to have that release or i think i would go mad.

Chet T16

Good stuff

We had an early bleed but always better to be safe than sorry.

10 weeks now is it?

burger1979

yeah, there is a history of mis-carriages on the wifes mothers side of the family, infact her mother had one too i think, so needed it to get done. just started the 11th week now.

Jaden

Here's my 0.02 Euros worth:
(Background - Father of 4, Son-4, Daughter-2.5, Twin Daughters-1.)

Tip 1 - Don't Panic.
You are about to (if not already started) worry about loads of stuff. It happens to almost everyone. Worry is fine, panic is not. Is the Baby, OK? How will I handle this? Is herself OK (why is she always ****ing crying)? Do we have everything we need? I don't know what I'm doing aaaaagggghhh!!!.

This is (oddly enough) quite normal.

Read up on things. There are a fair few books out there. One I suggest both of you read is: What to expect, the first year - Arleen Eisenberg. This book gives a month on month breakdown, aswell as a handy reference guide for all kinds of things from Colic to teething.

Tip 2 - Sleep.
You won't be doing this soon enough. Of all the things that many new parents miss the most, sleep is usually near the top of the list.

Tip 3 - If you need help, ask for it.
Most of the fathers reading you post are smiling quietly to themselves, remembering when we were all as clueless as you are now. One of the great paradoxes of parenthood is that if you knew how difficult it can be, you'd think twice about doing it. It is difficult to articulate the issues that lie ahead, just as it is difficult to articulate the rewards of Fatherhood. The closest I can get to it is that it's like trying to attend a lecture on a complicated subject while strapped to a rollercoaster.

You will be faced with situations where you just won't know what to do. Crying will almost certainly be involved. That's what family and friends (and boards.ie) is for. Don't suffer in silence, and don't be afraid to ask those with experience.

Tip 4 - Dignity is something you used to have.
In a labour ward, you leave your dignity at the door. Ante natal classes are cringeworthy to say the least. Babies will sometimes scream their lungs out in the most public of places, no matter what you do. Get over it. We've all had to do it, other parents understand, and the opinions of those without kids will start to carry little weight with you on such matters. Family first - thats the rule.

Tip 5 - You won't have it easy, but she'll have it alot tougher.
Help out whenever, and where ever you can, don't worry about looking stupid (see tip 4). Put her socks on for her when she can't reach, be supportive. If she is breastfeeding, be extra supportive. You are primarily a support role, she looks after the baby, you look after her.

Tip 6 - Enjoy it. It gets easier. You'll look back in years to come and wonder why you were so fussed about everything. We've been doing this for a long time, it'll come to you.

mikewest

+1 to everything Jaden said PLUS

And this applies exclusively to first time dads;). From now until the baby is born make the most of the fact your OH is not drinking and can still drive. You can now safely travel to any pub or resturant of your choosing as a couple, enjoy as much alcohol as you wish safe in the knowledge that you have a sober driver to get you home. This window of opportunity closes when she no longer feels comfortable going out and stays closed until your youngest finally leaves home. Most dads forget this in the panic preceeding the arrival of the firstborn.


You don't need most of the crap sold as must haves for a new baby and you like most parents will be smothered in cuddly toys as gifts so apart from one or two don't bother buying any for the nursery. If you can, think ahead and dual purpose as much stuff as you can because they don't stay babies for long e.g. kids furniture etc.

All the best.

brayblue24

mikewest wrote: »

+1 to everything Jaden said PLUS

And this applies exclusively to first time dads;). From now until the baby is born make the most of the fact your OH is not drinking and can still drive. You can now safely travel to any pub or resturant of your choosing as a couple, enjoy as much alcohol as you wish safe in the knowledge that you have a sober driver to get you home. This window of opportunity closes when she no longer feels comfortable going out and stays closed until your youngest finally leaves home. Most dads forget this in the panic preceeding the arrival of the firstborn.

Heh heh heh yeah I forgot this gem.:) I always justified it by saying we would share the driving-Iwould drive to the pub and herself would drive home (not sure she was ever fully convinced though!).

Poncherello

Can anyone recommend a good book for the lads to read ?
Cheers

Nevyn

What to expect when your expecting.

burger1979

Right i thought that i would write on this thread again so as not to start a new one. So anywho my wifes b-day is at the end of april and i want to get her some things for the baby. ideally i want to get one of those baby bags and fill it with breast pads, baby grows, doppler etc. etc. and then present it to her on her b-day. now first off she says that people should not get pregnant women baby items till the baby is born, thinking that if the baby is lost during the pregnancy then this sort of stuff will just remind her of the loss. fair enough and normally i would agree but i am stuck for ideas tbh. :mad::mad:

so what can i fill the bag with??? suggestions welcome, also suggestions for what type of bag? i would want to get one that she can use during the hospital stay.

thanks,

burger

LegacyUser

Hmmm. Well of course you know your wife best, so you know whether this is something she will get excited about. However, speaking as someone who is currently pregnant, this is not my idea of a fabulous birthday present!

The things you mentioned are all stuff you and your wife will BOTH need for the new arrival in your family, who is in himself a separate person from your wife, even if he currently happens to be inhabiting her. It's a bit like getting her an exciting new set of mops and washing up brushes in my humble opinion!

Now I know there is lots of cute baby stuff out there and lots of women do go gaga for it, but I still see that as presents or necessities for the BABY - who will have his own birthday! Get your wife a present for HER!

Maybe people will disagree with me but while I am excited about my own pregnancy, it's not the only thing that's going on in my life and I hope it hasn't completely taken over my personality. I'm still me and I still appreciate when my partner does stuff for ME or brings me little presents that he knows I love. I totally believe you mean well, OP, but just don't confuse your wife with her belly!

Swizzles

Burger i think im around the same time as your wife (Im 19 weeks)
And i totally agree with spinach your best bet would be get her a present for her ...
Theres loads of ideas out there for a pregnant lady while still pampering mommy and not baby
How about a pregnancy massage
Manicure / Pedicure
Facial
How about a shopping day for some new maternity clothes
Other than that get her a gift that you would have gotten her before she got pregnant ..As long as its not a sky diving lesson

Plus tbh i dont think i would like my other half packing my maternity bag ..To me thats something exciting that should be done together

Good luck

CathyMoran

Our son may be born aroud my birthday (am 31 weeks now) so we may be otherwise occupied but I would still expect my husband to separate the two of us...for me I would love something small (even normal clothes or makeup or a trip somewhere (for our new larger family) when baby is settled...luckily my husband is wonderful and already knows that. My husband went out of his way to spoil me for Valentines, it is not that I dont think about our baby all the time and worry about him but we are still two adults head over heals in love.

Please remember that your partner is her own person too, not just a baby machine.

littlebug

I had to lol at the idea of getting breast pads as a birthday present but not in a good way :eek: Really .. no... don't. By all means get a baby bag and fill it with all that stuff closer to the due date and it will be much appreciated but not as a birthday present now.

+ 1 on the pampering suggestions above. How about a night away in a plush hotel with spa, pool etc and a nice meal.

D rog

I would agree that lovely and all as your idea is, a gift for her might be a better idea. And especially if it has the possibility of going either way if she gets emotional about buying baby things too early.

One of the nicest things I got as a new-baby-gift was actually for me, and I thought it was so thoughtful. It was a hamper of goodies from the gift shop Lush. They have a branch in dublin, maybe even check the web. A hamper of pregnancy-friendly lush goodies could go down well?

Sleepy

This is a great time for jewelry OP. If you get her a necklace or something like that you can tell her that if it's a girl she can pass it on as a family heirloom etc. My girlfriend has a thing for tinkerbell so I got her a little swarovski ornament of her as a "pregnancy present".

If ye can afford it, head away somewhere nice for a holiday, it'll be the last chance ye'll have for a holiday away with just the two of ye for quite a while!

Be the 'go for'. Whether it's a silly girls magazine and chocolate or a bottle of gaviscon, go get it whatever the hour of the morning and let her know you don't mind doing that.

burger1979

Thanks for the replies folks. i think i will steer clear of the bag idea for now and get something for her and not just the bump inside. we are going to new york in 2 weeks so i am going to bring her to fancy dinner and show on one evening and am also going to get her an ipod. i have a bit of time till her actual b-day as well so can think of a few other things.
she's not mad into the pampering of herself, but around that time if anything is getting to her then maybe i can get her something pampering to ease it. also in NY we are going shopping so might get her some maternity clothes there also.

thanks again

burger