Problem

JJ009

Hi,

I've set up a new account as I really don't want anyone to know who I am. I cannot believe that I am actually posting this considering my account balance yesterday showed €2500.

It all started a few months ago when I threw some money into my Betfair account. Started off slowly but after a while I built it up to around 500. This soon became 1000 and a few weeks ago it was 2700. But yesterday it all went wrong. I placed a 500 euro bet in the afternoon but this did not work out. Attempting to recover this loss I layed a team at 2.26 for around 600 euro to try and get this back. This team won and I was panicking at this stage. Balance of roughly 1300 and in a desperate attempt to regain some of this I placed 1000 on over 2.5 goals in the Valencia match. Of course it was 0-0 at ht and I bailed out here to leave me with a balance of 700. I then managed to have one more bet that also did not win which left me with a final balance of 360. From 2500 to 360 in the space of 6 hours.

I'm sitting here in work and I'm totally depressed about this. I don't know how this happened. Worst of all I was snappy to my girlfriend earlier and she thought she did something wrong I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

Thanks for reading.

Devastator

JJ009 wrote: »

I've set up a new account as I really don't want anyone to know who I am.


I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do?

quit gambling.

Dr. Dodger

We've all had moments of madness JJ. You've just got to learn from it. It's feels great to build up a big balance but if you don't think you've got control or you feel like you're betting beyond your limit, you've got to take action. I know this is useless to you now but that's the nature of gambling I suppose and at the end of the day, it's only money. Things could be a hell of a lot worse.

If I were you I'd take that remaining balance and go buy your girlfriend somethin nice and give the gambling a break for a while. You'll only be trying to get back to were you were and that's what got you here in the first place.

Tough break though..

JJ009

Thanks for the replies. Have spent quite a bit on the girlfriend already but I get what you mean I'm trying to think positively about this but at the same time I'm totally sick. I honestly cannot stop thinking about it all morning. It's also down to the fact that I probably don't have long left in my current job, only have around 5k to my name etc

Sligome

i would say that you have a gambling problem and really need to take a look at what you are doing

JJ009

I know that I have a problem, see the title!

Devastator

JJ009 wrote: »

I know that I have a problem, see the title!

well obviously with smartass replies then you don't need any further help here! :rolleyes:

mike65

Lock your betfair account. It won't let you back in for 6 months.

JJ009

Devastator wrote: »

well obviously with smartass replies then you don't need any further help here! :rolleyes:

Woops, seriously wasn't meant to be a smartass reply.

Apologies.

JJ009

mike65 wrote: »

Lock your betfair account. It won't let you back in for 6 months.

Hey Mike, I'll be honest with you here, I used that function 2 years ago so I know all about it

mike65

Then I suggest you do have a problem and the first thing to do is just admit it, not with us - with your girlfreind. Does she know you bet? If not tell her and that you could do with some support.

Have a look here http://www.gamblersanonymous.ie/ they seem a freindly bunch.

JJ009

She knows I used to bet but I don't think she knows I'm betting now - certainly not the amounts listed above, that's for sure.

I feel so embarrassed that I can't bring myself to tell her though

jacool

buddy, I've been there.
Its all about control. I found myself in that scenario about 2 years ago.
Built up and built up and built up on bf and when I felt invincible, BOOM, like a house of cards.
The main step is a backwards one, just to rationalise the whole thing.
If you look at the bets you make to chase losses, and analyse them, you will probably see that you wouldn't have done them if you were up.
The other, bigger reality, although you can't see it now, is that although you went from 2500 to 360 in one day, you'll probably see that over the few months you are actually breaking even (you did say you grew it to 500).
If you did that once, you can do it again.
I now set myself daily or weekly targets and try to meet those. When I do I get out. Its not easy, as you think you are on a roll, and can't lose. But nothing is worse than meeting the target and saying, just one more, which wipes out everything you've made!
I dropped almost everything 4 weeks ago, but based on the 100% outlay that day I am now at 400%, so it can be done, if you can discipline yourself. But its not easy if you have the "urge".

mike65

JJ009 wrote: »

She knows I used to bet but I don't think she knows I'm betting now - certainly not the amounts listed above, that's for sure.

I feel so embarrassed that I can't bring myself to tell her though

Well you don't have to reveal the fullest extent of the problem right now, you could be placing much smaller bets and still have issues.

I'm assuming you have a solid loving relationship - I'd say "Honey, I could do with your help, I think I have a problem with gambling" and take it from there, if she loves you she will want to help and be glad that you confided in her rather than hide it. Then you can take things to the next step - suggest to her that you will visit the people linked to above (that way she will know you have thought about this and are ready to move forward).

am i bovvered

JJ009 wrote: »

Hi,
I'm sitting here in work and I'm totally depressed about this. I don't know how this happened. Worst of all I was snappy to my girlfriend earlier and she thought she did something wrong I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

Thanks for reading.

Classic behavior for any gambler, if someone that gambles regularly tells you that this never happened to the they are lying or very early in their gambling life.

You have 2 clear choices....

walk away now and remember this whole experience like some mad trip you went on (some people go skiing, you went mad gambling ), if you stop now consider it as I had that life changing experience and it cost me 2k not bad value over the course of your life, people have wasted money doing worse things. Do not worry about the sickness that will go with time, your betting has only effected you, no children etc.

2nd choice is try and learn from your mistakes improve your methods learn to walk away, some people are successful at doing this and have a healthy and enjoyable life experience with gambling at the centre of all entertainment.
But most gamblers don't learn long term, and you will find yourselve in bother again, this is fine but you will have to put up and shut up about the sick feeling and the highs and lows because they are part and parcel of gambling. The amounts of money mean nothing they are all relative to the persons time of life and circumstances.

My advice for what its worth is do not lodge anymore of your money with betfair, withdraw the €360 (if its still there ) and enjoy yourself along with your girlfriend with it, you don't need to explain anything to anyone its your life.... its supposed to be fun !!!

JJ009

Thanks am i bovvered. I know it may come across as me feeling sorry for myself but at this moment I cannot think straight and just felt a need to post something here. It's hard when my girlfriend is asking if everything is okay when quite clearly it isn't.

thewools

I gave up serious gambling a few years back - I was up thousands and withdrew alot of it. I was on a roll - I couldnt lose. I won big and lost big but lacked any sort of system. I initally deposited €100 and somehow the balance kept on growing and growing. I dont know how I did it but I did

Later on with my balance bulging I was playing turbo heads up games of poker for up to $1000 and min bets on sports of anything from €100 to €1000

However it affected me in adverse ways. I was playing poker before work and late into the nights. I was contantly thinking about my next gamble or researching horses, soccer teams, even baseball and american football ffs.. :rolleyes:

It was affecting my work, social life etc... So I gave it up more or less. It wasnt worth it.

I now only really gamble during Cheltenham and in a small time betting syndicate (€5 a week). I now enjoy my time relaxing instead of contantly on the edge betting like a maniac.

So if I were you OP I would take a break and see what happens. If you really miss the gambling etc too much; follow a strict system. Only gamble a percentage of your bankroll a day. If you lose that day - dont attempt to recover. the next betting day you can gamble up to the same percentage: eg 3%

dan de man

stop online gambling,it is too handy for those of us with poor discipline,if you bet in a shop with cold cash you wont be long changing your ways.
pick out your bets,place them and let that be it.there were no bookmaker shops open last night to chase your money.
think of it as a lesson learned.in one sense u were lucky as u built up the account balance and didnt actually lose too much of your own,put it behind you and move on...and dont tell your girlfriend,she will not understand:)

am i bovvered

JJ009 wrote: »

Thanks am i bovvered. I know it may come across as me feeling sorry for myself but at this moment I cannot think straight and just felt a need to post something here. It's hard when my girlfriend is asking if everything is okay when quite clearly it isn't.

Anyone including me that gives advice on this thread is speaking fron personal experience
There is no problem feeling sh1t at the moment, this is normal, what I was talking about is if you decide to continue gambling in the future, taking the highs and lows together.

For now, a good tool for getting over the bad feelings you have is to change the mind set....... do this......
decide that you have enjoyed the ride, someday in the future, it might be 6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now you will lump on a decent bet, and walk away on top !!!!! but for now your gonna let it go with positive thoughts.

Whether you ever get around to placing that bet nobody knows, as of yet I have not ... its been nearly 3 years.

mike65

dan de man wrote: »

and dont tell your girlfriend,she will not understand:)

JJ009 wrote: »

It's hard when my girlfriend is asking if everything is okay when quite clearly it isn't.

And that is why JJ should say whats eating him.

Pj!

Go to Gamcare.org.uk. There is a forum and a chatroom.

am i bovvered

JJ009 wrote: »

It's hard when my girlfriend is asking if everything is okay when quite clearly it isn't.

Its up to you whether you say whats wrong or not or how much detail you go into.
If you decide to continue the gamble it could be a good thing to tell her everything as she could help to keep things sane.

If you have decided not to lodge the 2k and stop, I would just say "we're gonna have a great crimbo, sorry for being a bit of a dick lately, xx " and move on.

I did not really want to get into my own story but it might help you out...
I gambled a lot before I was married and had given up once I had children etc, after a few years I started back on the football pools etc, with the money coming from my wife credit card, I wanted this as I thought it would be a good control, (my wife is extremely easy going and has never asked me to stop gambling or been angry over a big loss where as I would be sick for a week or more. ) I was happy out for about a year, telling everyone that it was great I could enjoy the buzz again SAFELY.
The thing that destroyed it all was believe it or not a big win !!! I had a decent pot once again, and the obsessive behavior and thoughts started again.... it was a relief when I had emptied my account. I realised then unfortunately for me I am unable to enjoy a bet.
I used the mental method I posted before to help with the initial period, and enjoyed life a bit more, went for dinner, bought clothes etc and now really love my life.

Although now I am obsessed with skiing

Nulty

Hi JJ, I've been there too. Fairplay to you for seeking advice here. No better heads to get advice from.

I would agree that you should take that money out - at least until the bad taste is out of your mouth. Any bets you make with that will be questionable. Take a step back from gambling and ask yourself one question....

Do you trust yourself?

You'll know what to do when you can answer that question honestly.

About telling your girlfriend, I personally wouldn't but it does contribute to a healthy relationship.

All the best mate

mdwexford

ul OP, redeposit the 2k, you'll be luckier this time for sure.

CHD

You lost. Get over it. Stick 2k back into your account and spin again. Gambooool.

zztopper

If your a punter you have go to accept your losses, you should have withdrawn 2k and strted again, if you are not able for losing days forget it and join a yoga class.

cuterob

Mellor

"Try again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better."
— Samuel Beckett

cuterob

JJ009 wrote: »

Hi,

I've set up a new account as I really don't want anyone to know who I am. I cannot believe that I am actually posting this considering my account balance yesterday showed €2500.

It all started a few months ago when I threw some money into my Betfair account. Started off slowly but after a while I built it up to around 500. This soon became 1000 and a few weeks ago it was 2700. But yesterday it all went wrong. I placed a 500 euro bet in the afternoon but this did not work out. Attempting to recover this loss I layed a team at 2.26 for around 600 euro to try and get this back. This team won and I was panicking at this stage. Balance of roughly 1300 and in a desperate attempt to regain some of this I placed 1000 on over 2.5 goals in the Valencia match. Of course it was 0-0 at ht and I bailed out here to leave me with a balance of 700. I then managed to have one more bet that also did not win which left me with a final balance of 360. From 2500 to 360 in the space of 6 hours.

I'm sitting here in work and I'm totally depressed about this. I don't know how this happened. Worst of all I was snappy to my girlfriend earlier and she thought she did something wrong I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

Thanks for reading.

you never had the money in the first place..think of it that way..it's like your giving several jellybeans.. lets say 14.. nice round number.. then you find 53 more jellybeans and you add them to your stash.. now a jellybean loving animal comes along one day.. lets say an Angora Rabbit for instance.. and he eats 50 of your jellybeans.. well it was your fault for not putting somewhere safe where the angora cant get them but it doesn't REALLY matter cause you didn't own them in the first place..

i turned 40 euro into 2600 once playing blackjack and blew it all in a matter of minutes.. do i have a gambling problem?? no i do not.. i have a drinking problem.. and if you can direct me towards the right forum for that i would appreciate it v.much.. danke

redorblack

mdwexford wrote: »

ul OP, redeposit the 2k, you'll be luckier this time for sure.

You aren't much help or funny at all.

CHD

redorblack wrote: »

You aren't much help or funny at all.

Neither are you so ha.

hf4z6sqo7vjngi

Nulty wrote: »

Hi JJ, I've been there too. Fairplay to you for seeking advice here. No better heads to get advice from.

I would agree that you should take that money out - at least until the bad taste is out of your mouth. Any bets you make with that will be questionable. Take a step back from gambling and ask yourself one question....

Do you trust yourself?

You'll know what to do when you can answer that question honestly.

About telling your girlfriend, I personally wouldn't but it does contribute to a healthy relationship.

All the best mate

I hope your joking, this would be the last place to be taking advice from imo. OP you lost money get over it your just another degen.

abouttobebanned

I've got a hypnosis mp3 to help you quit gambling. PM me if you want it. Seriously.

That goes for any of you. Take the blue pill...

fatguy

This isn't a gambling problem, it's a bankroll management failure.

Nulty

Atticus Shallow Ginkgo wrote: »

I hope your joking, this would be the last place to be taking advice from imo. OP you lost money get over it your just another degen.

It was going fine until after my post. Before that everyone was very supportive and realistic.

Whyno

This is just LOL.....
Why be supportive. He lost because he went on monkey tilt...We've all done itl.Take it on the chin and move on. We could all write books on having brainfarts such as this.

Nulty

fatguy wrote: »

This isn't a gambling problem, it's a bankroll management failure.

Its a problem if his gambling has an adverse affect on his personal relationships.

thedini

Sh** happens, use staking plans, research your bets properly, don't chase your losses. GL.

hf4z6sqo7vjngi

Nulty wrote: »

It was going fine until after my post. Before that everyone was very supportive and realistic.

You seriously think then that this forum the "Gambling Forum" is the right place to solve his gambling issues, really come on now who is not being realistic!!

Nulty

Atticus Shallow Ginkgo wrote: »

You seriously think then that this forum the "Gambling Forum" is the right place to solve his gambling issues, really come on now who is not being realistic!!

Most people i've talked to on here have their wits about them and have been in the same situation as the OP. There was some sound advice before the clowns rolled in with their "ideas"

the iceman come

Just remember this, Betfair themselves have stated publicly the less than 1% of their customers earn more than 15K per year. I will say that again in caps LESS THAN 1%! Now thats a sobering thought,because when you consider you are up against Professional Punters who have faster pictures than you,who have huge bankrolls compared to you,and to be blunt about ,eat the likes of you for breakfast with their superior advantages,hard as it is to admit you will only blow your 2K and more besides, also do not listen to the BS you will read on the Betfair forums,at the end of the day the only long term winners are the SIS guys who hoover up everything at 1.01 when the event is over and of course Betfair them selves. Do your self a favour mate and knock it on the head,its an illusion,it really is.

CHD

mdwexford wrote: »

I disagree, im very funny.



lol.

Im very entertained, not your forum so i will continue to post, ty.

+1

I'm not a pr1ck either.

hotspur

JJ009 wrote: »

I don't know how this happened. Worst of all I was snappy to my girlfriend earlier and she thought she did something wrong I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

It happened because you are bad at gambling. You thought that losing €500 meant that you had to try to recover that loss. This is irrational from a gambling perspective but rational from a psychological and emotional perspective. It is called 'chasing' and is a typical behaviour among every person who has ever manifested a problem with gambling.

Either gambling in order to feel good / avoid feeling bad or gambling to win money but letting your emotions creep into it are recipes for losing money and feeling lousy. You chased losses in order not to feel bad about having lost, if you cannot lose and accept it then you cannot profitably gamble in the long run.

The money's gone, there's nothing can be done about that. Don't kid yourself that you are a great gambler who has just been on the wrong end of some negative variance over one day. The way you thought and behaved means that you are not a good gambler and will be prone to getting upset and making such errors in the future.

Money in a gambling bankroll needs to be considered as money which can be lost and thus in a sense not really your money. Behaviourally you managed this because you didn't cash it out, but cognitively and emotionally you didn't manage it because you considered it to be yours and related it to future spending. This is a massive error, don't bet with money you need or will have a significant impact on your life.

There are worse things than losing some money, and some of us poker players who have chimed in have lost that in a single hand of poker. Sports betting is not a good way to make money over the long term, and I suspect that beyond losing winnings the biggest shock is that your bubble has burst about fantasising that you can make good money doing it.

It's a reality check, take the lesson from it or end up like just another sucker problem gambler. Given your limited savings and future employment uncertainty if you deposit €2k merely to have your balance back so that you can fantasise about making money from it then you have a serious problem with reality, your emotions, and gambling.

If you genuinely feel you have a problem with gambling then give me a pm and I'll point you to some helpful resources.

Also, move up limits.

5starpool

I think there is some good advice mixed with the rest in this thread.

OP - if you are ready to admit you need help to overcome a problem then there are resources out there to help you, and some good links in this thread.

This is not a forum for discussing overcoming gambling problems as we are not in a position to help properly. If you do seek help then good luck with it. I think this thread has had enough input now anyways.