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Getting older and ageing...Does it worry you

  • 08-12-2009 5:21pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭


    Obviously everyones worried about getting older as it brings us one step closer to the pearly gates in the sky (or fiery pillars of Hell in my case :pac: ) but thats not what this thread is about.

    Its inspired by a Personal Issues thread about a young women worried about lines appearing on her forehead. I thought it would be intresting to get other ladies opinion on this and really just rant a bit about how unfair things are when it comes to women and their wrinkles.

    I admit that Im worried about ageing.....terrified in fact! I'm still a sprightly,hardy young thing at the tender age of 27 and already Im seeing my eyebrows lowering, my breasts getting a bit droopy, lines under my eyes starten to deepen,hair thinning a bit. Im single and it is a worry that I am definatly a lot less physical desirable to men then I was and things are only going to go downhill from here! :eek:

    For a women beauty really equates to youth in our society whereas the definition of male beauty is so much broader. Its horrible that men seemingly get more attractive as they get older and women less and less so :mad:


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    Getting older isnt something that worries my at all. I'm 33 now and I'm more confident and happy with myself now than I ever was when I was younger.:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭Nathan251


    I don't see the problem here....just relax you are not 87


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 633 ✭✭✭Warfi


    panda100 wrote: »
    Obviously everyones worried about getting older as it brings us one step closer to the pearly gates in the sky (or fiery pillars of Hell in my case :pac: ) but thats not what this thread is about.

    Its inspired by a Personal Issues thread about a young women worried about lines appearing on her forehead. I thought it would be intresting to get other ladies opinion on this and really just rant a bit about how unfair things are when it comes to women and their wrinkles.

    I admit that Im worried about ageing.....terrified in fact! I'm still a sprightly,hardy young thing at the tender age of 27 and already Im seeing my eyebrows lowering, my breasts getting a bit droopy, lines under my eyes starten to deepen,hair thinning a bit. Im single and it is a worry that I am definatly a lot less physical desirable to men then I was and things are only going to go downhill from here! :eek:

    For a women beauty really equates to youth in our society whereas the definition of male beauty is so much broader. Its horrible that men seemingly get more attractive as they get older and women less and less so :mad:

    Some men don't get better looking as they get older....first hand experience.

    I think it's a state of mind. I believe that we all wish we were younger, had a second chance etc. The way I look at it is that we all have our time to do as we wish, maybe we use it wisely, maybe we don't. However it's a fact that we all have to move along the bench because there will always be people waiting to sit on the bench. Eventually they have to move along too. Happens to everyone.

    Personally, I don't want to spend my years worrying if I fit the social norm eg have a nice job, car, family, children, look young etc. If it happens, it happens. I don't want to look back on my life when I'm older and realise I wasted years worrying that I didn't have what my friends/neighbours etc have.

    The biggest gift* you can give yourself is to be happy in your life, no matter what age you are and what position you're in.


    *although I wouldn't turn down a rolex :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    I'm only twenty but I have to say, I am absolutely petrified of getting older!

    It's not sagging breasts or wrinkles that I'm worried about though; it's more the worry of wasting my time or not fitting enough into the time I'm given.

    I turned twenty in May and I couldn't celebrate my birthday at all because what I felt wasn't happiness. I just felt like I'd been on this planet for twenty whole years and I actually hadn't achieved one thing in that length of time.

    Right now, I just have my fingers crossed that at thirty I'll have something accomplished, something to look back on and say, "Yeah, I did that, it was good", with a smile. I guess I'm not worried about being older, truly. I'm worried about being older but still being in the same place!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    panda100 wrote: »
    Im single and it is a worry that I am definatly a lot less physical desirable to men then I was and things are only going to go downhill from here! :eek:
    I think you'll find that as you get older that the kind of men who put beauty above all else are the kind of guys you want to leave behind you anyway. I turned 30 yesterday (\o/) and I can say with complete honesty that I feel 100 times more desirable now than I ever did when I was in my early twenties. This is a combination of a lot of things, in no small part to exercising and taking care of myself, but also because getting that teeny bit older has brought with it a confidence and self assurance that eludes us when we're younger. My ass is firmer, boobs are perkier, hair is in better nick, smile is broader, contentment is deeper, self-belief is stronger, and confidence is better than it ever was ten years ago.

    So balls to the idea that now that I'm 'older' I'm less attractive, frankly :)
    panda100 wrote:
    For a women beauty really equates to youth in our society whereas the definition of male beauty is so much broader. Its horrible that men seemingly get more attractive as they get older and women less and less so :mad:
    I've been watching this concept for a while now, and actually I don't think that's quite true any more. Everywhere you look the slightly older, more mature woman is being celebrated.

    The high-street is bulging with clothes that emphasize womanly curves, and the sexiest women in the world are frequently (if not most often) in the 30+ range. The only people I really see perpetuating this idea that guys get turned off by a woman getting older are girls themselves - the guys on the other hand are besotted with the concept of a woman who knows who she is and what she wants ;)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭Nathan251


    g'em wrote: »
    I think you'll find that as you get older that the kind of men who put beauty above all else are the kind of guys you want to leave behind you anyway........My ass is firmer, boobs are perkier, hair is in better nick, smile is broader


    spot the contradiction


    although i agree that women are their own worst enemies and often compete to out-beautify each other (to such an extent that they become caked in so much extensions, creams, make-ups and fake tan that they become hideous like a christmas cake that is all icing uugggghhhh!!!) and men prefer a women comfortable in her own skin

    However my own prejudiced view is that a woman's peak age for beauty is about 23-28 and for a man it's about 29-34, I actually had this very discussion with a mixed group recently and that was the broad consensus, of course that is a generalisation and there are exceptions so don't go mental if your age doesn't fall into those categories.....it's just a talking point


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    Nathan251 wrote: »
    spot the contradiction
    There's no contradiction there - I'm not putting beauty above anything, I was responding to what the OP had said about her own body. My physical appearance is only one part of me, the whole package makes me "me", hence why I commented on my confidence and my contentment and my well-being :)
    Nathan251 wrote:
    although i agree that women are their own worst enemies and often compete to out-beautify each other (to such an extent that they become caked in so much extensions, creams, make-ups and fake tan that they become hideous like a christmas cake that is all icing uugggghhhh!!!) and men prefer a women comfortable in her own skin
    Not sure who you're agreeing with there as I don't think that point has been made at all. I said that it's girls who perpetuate the idea that younger women automatically = more beautiful. Anyway, that's another bonus of getting ancient, you don't feel the need to compete with anyone else anymore :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭xoxyx


    Aging FFFFFreaks me out. I'm 24 so far, but heading in the wrong direction. Wrinkles, sagging, drooping all terrify me. And then there's the facing your own mortality bit. When I think about it (and I try not to) I'm pretty convinced that something serious will befall me before my late 50s - there's a long history of all the good ones - strokes, cancer, heart disease, etc., etc., on both sides of my family.
    Aging is wrong - plain and simple. We should be born old and grow down and end our lives safe and warm in the womb or as happy little tadpoles, rather than crippled and in pain in a disinfectant (and worse) smelling hospital bed!!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,900 ✭✭✭rannerap


    i feel the same as novella,not so freaked about the age thing more the fact i havent done much with the amount of time i've wasted:(the whole im going to get old and die alone thing is a bit scary too though


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 136 ✭✭BDR


    I'm only 18, but I was thinking about it earlier.

    If you look around older women usually have their hair above their shoulders.
    I don't want to cut my hair :(


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Then don't, I have long hair past my sholders, it's passed my sholder blades at this stage and I will be growing it longer, I will get it trimmed and some layers put in but I'd like it to my waist.

    Some people want short hair for the convience if they want to wash and blow dry it every day fair enough, but mines just a managible long and I don't need to wash it everyday.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 122 ✭✭Lilym


    Not really to be honest , I'm thirty in 4 weeks ..even though it freaks me out somedays , I will take it as it comes. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,264 ✭✭✭Cookie Jar


    Novella wrote: »
    I'm only twenty but I have to say, I am absolutely petrified of getting older!

    It's not sagging breasts or wrinkles that I'm worried about though; it's more the worry of wasting my time or not fitting enough into the time I'm given.

    I turned twenty in May and I couldn't celebrate my birthday at all because what I felt wasn't happiness. I just felt like I'd been on this planet for twenty whole years and I actually hadn't achieved one thing in that length of time.

    Right now, I just have my fingers crossed that at thirty I'll have something accomplished, something to look back on and say, "Yeah, I did that, it was good", with a smile. I guess I'm not worried about being older, truly. I'm worried about being older but still being in the same place!

    This is excatly how I feel:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭Sabre0001


    Novella wrote: »
    I'm only twenty but I have to say, I am absolutely petrified of getting older!

    It's not sagging breasts or wrinkles that I'm worried about though; it's more the worry of wasting my time or not fitting enough into the time I'm given.

    I turned twenty in May and I couldn't celebrate my birthday at all because what I felt wasn't happiness. I just felt like I'd been on this planet for twenty whole years and I actually hadn't achieved one thing in that length of time.

    Right now, I just have my fingers crossed that at thirty I'll have something accomplished, something to look back on and say, "Yeah, I did that, it was good", with a smile. I guess I'm not worried about being older, truly. I'm worried about being older but still being in the same place!

    This for me too....Except the bit about sagging breasts (can't be an issue til I grow moobs....and that's an issue in itself!) and replace twenty with twenty-three (so I really need to get moving!)

    🤪



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    nope, doesnt bother me in the slightest.

    i make jokes about my grey hairs and my crows feet laughter lines, but in reality i dont care.

    at this stage in my life i'm healthier, happier, more confident and self-assured, more sensible and altogether more content than i have ever been before.

    i know what i want from my life, and i am secure enough in myself to go out and pursue that, irrespective of what others think of me, or think i should be doing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    I couldn't care less about getting older and ageing in terms of appearance.

    I do care about getting older and not having achieved the things I want to do with my life. I don't actively worry about it though - I'm too young for that yet! (And I'm blissfully in denial - just thought I'd throw that in there!)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Old age is one of the only things I fear in life. I don't want to have to walk slowly. I don't want to have to use a walking stick or be reliant on a banister when I descend a staircase. I don't wanna be unable to run. I love running. I'm scared.... :-/


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I don't really care about ageing in terms of aesthetics - well, I dye my hair and use plenty of lotions & potions - but it doesn't scare me.

    What really scares me is how fast I'm getting older. Years are sprinting past in the blink of an eye. It seems like only yesterday that I left home, last week that I got married. My son will be five at the end of the month & I still can't work out where the time went. There is so much I want to do & see and if things don't slow down, I'm scared I'll never get the chance to do them!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    Meah. I'm 24, I have "nothing of note" achieved with my life to date.

    Not from the outside anyways. I mean, I'm not "famous" or "travelled" or whatever. And I've done nothing that no one else has done before.

    But I'm happy! I'm in love, I'm busy, I'm happy.

    People talk about not having achieved anything ... but like, for example, I'd consider having passed my driving test a major achievement! Even though its something that lots of people do every single day - it was a big thing for me, and therefore it was a big achievement in my life. Who cares if other people aren't impressed by that - I'm proud of myself for that, and for lots of other little insignificant things.

    As for the whole wrinkles/droopy boobs etc ... yeah its going to happen. I can't imagine I'll be overjoyed about it, but worrying and stressing about it isn't going to change it, so why bother! After all, if it's other peoples' opinions you're worried about - well, they'll be getting older and facing the same issues too. If it's your own opinion you're worried about - well if that's the height of your worries, then you're living a good life. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,105 ✭✭✭LadyMayBelle


    The thought of getting older never bothered me until this year. I hate the fact I'm nearly 27. When I applied for my driving licence yesterday, I had a choice of a three year one or a ten year one. I chose the three year one because I made the mistake of taking a ten year passport when I was 17...(I still have it, and no longer wear a school uniform, wear glasses, have blonde slicked back hair or terrible skin). Then I realised that if I had taken out a ten year driving licence, I would be 37(!!!) when I would be reapplying. And that bothered me. Ten years doesn't seem a hugely long time away, but 37 to me is nearly 40:(

    I do look forward to growing old with the one I love, but it scares me no end that we'll run out of time.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭NewFrockTuesday


    Getting older in itself does not worry me. In reality,We dont change that much from year to year so I dont scour my face for lines every morning. And anyway, there are a million creams and serums that comfort us that we are doing what we can to preserve what we are judged upon. I want to fast forward to 2099, when maybe we as women might be judged on our actual worth and contribution, as opposed to living in dread of our one bargaining tool swirling down the plughole with our spat out toothpaste in the morning.

    Now I worry about stuff that I have assumed myself as an adult and have to answer to. Whether that be financial commitments, working relationships or personal relationships. One thing I notice as I get older, is nothing is as simple as it seems and Im just a passanger sometimes, but that doesnt stop me grabbing the wheel and steering.

    Time speeds up. This is true. Its like when you hit 30, someone throws all the gears forward and you start a mental checklist of what is expected of you...and what you expect of yourself. How do you want your life to go? What have you done so far? Weight/face/waist/legs/boobs/clothes/hair/makeup/skin/nails/eyes/heels/flat belly/toned arms/arse & skininess. Honest to God, some mornings when Im leaving the house, I wish I had a friggin' burka to throw around me. Im like every other woman on the planet. I have days where Im tired and feeling like Im made out of bits that dont fit togeather. I can feel I look good, but my mind is a million miles away from where its meant to be so I worry about the impact I have made that day and days where I look like I havent brushed my hair in a week but I feel on top of everything. and know something has been accomplised. I just dont make rules for myself anymore.

    Your early thirties are hard cos youre seeing through the bull****, but still buy into it slightly.


    (Wow, where did that come from?! Tired from a strressful few weeks, but knowing its self inflicted I guess)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,072 ✭✭✭SeekUp


    Getting older doesn't worry me. I'm not worried about my physical appearance; both my mother and grandmother aged well, so I feel I've got some good genes in that sense. And I think things like laugh lines around your mouth and smile lines around your eyes say something about how you've lived, y'know? I'm not afraid of dying, really, either, I mean, I dunno.

    Regarding making good use of the time I've been given, absolutely, 100%. I feel I've been very scattered so far in my adult life and I hope to focus that in a bit more and feel a bit more fulfilled on a personal level.
    Deepsense wrote: »
    Now I worry about stuff that I have assumed myself as an adult and have to answer to. Whether that be financial commitments, working relationships or personal relationships. One thing I notice as I get older, is nothing is as simple as it seems and Im just a passanger sometimes, but that doesnt stop me grabbing the wheel and steering.

    Freakin' right.


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    The only thing that bothers me about ageing is that it means my body is going to start giving out on me. At 29 I've already had to have some tune ups and am in pretty good shape still with regard my body working well. It's only a matter of time before something goes wrong that can't be quickly sorted and will affect my quality of life in someway. Fading health scares me. Give me all the wrinkles, droopiness etc you like they don't bother me one bit.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    I don't really care about ageing in terms of aesthetics - well, I dye my hair and use plenty of lotions & potions - but it doesn't scare me.

    If your not worried about the lines etc then why buy the lotions and potions?
    Deepsense wrote: »
    Getting older in itself does not worry me. In reality,We dont change that much from year to year so I dont scour my face for lines every morning. And anyway, there are a million creams and serums that comfort us that we are doing what we can to preserve what we are judged upon.
    Your early thirties are hard cos youre seeing through the bull****, but still buy into it slightly.

    I really like your post Deepsense! Yeah I think its a matter of seeing past all the bullsh*t really.
    It amazes me cos my sister is a dentist who does botoxing on the side and she has a waiting list a mile long of 22-35 year old women coming into get botox. Im worried that Im going to be the only one of my generation with lines on my face!
    Das Kitty wrote: »
    The only thing that bothers me about ageing is that it means my body is going to start giving out on me. At 29 I've already had to have some tune ups and am in pretty good shape still with regard my body working well. It's only a matter of time before something goes wrong that can't be quickly sorted and will affect my quality of life in someway. Fading health scares me. Give me all the wrinkles, droopiness etc you like they don't bother me one bit.

    Do you mind me asking what you mean by tune ups?Just curious :)


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    panda100 wrote: »
    Do you mind me asking what you mean by tune ups?Just curious :)

    Not at all. Most recently my back I had to realise that I had to work on it to avoid pain, whereas when I was younger I never got pain even though my posture was probably worse!

    Another major-ish one was having to go through surgery to fix a "woman's issue" that was badly affecting things. It's sorted now but I feel I have to work harder for my body to bounce back and it's never fully the same as it was.

    I only said tune-up to liken my body to a car (bit flippant but my car is 10 years old and is going into the garage tomorrow so is on my mind!)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Das Kitty wrote: »
    Not at all. Most recently my back I had to realise that I had to work on it to avoid pain, whereas when I was younger I never got pain even though my posture was probably worse!

    Another major-ish one was having to go through surgery to fix a "woman's issue" that was badly affecting things. It's sorted now but I feel I have to work harder for my body to bounce back and it's never fully the same as it was.

    I only said tune-up to liken my body to a car (bit flippant but my car is 10 years old and is going into the garage tomorrow so is on my mind!)

    Oh right,I thought you were talking about a nip and a tuck!I have a problem with my back and posture too,one of the problems of being 6' :)


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    panda100 wrote: »
    Oh right,I thought you were talking about a nip and a tuck!I have a problem with my back and posture too,one of the problems of being 6' :)

    Jaysus no, not my thing :p I'm rarely bothered by my physical appearance and if I am it's usually me being annoyed with myself for letting something avoidable happen, like no longer being able to fit in my clothes. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    Meah. I'm 24, I have "nothing of note" achieved with my life to date.

    Not from the outside anyways. I mean, I'm not "famous" or "travelled" or whatever. And I've done nothing that no one else has done before.

    But I'm happy! I'm in love, I'm busy, I'm happy.

    People talk about not having achieved anything ... but like, for example, I'd consider having passed my driving test a major achievement! Even though its something that lots of people do every single day - it was a big thing for me, and therefore it was a big achievement in my life. Who cares if other people aren't impressed by that - I'm proud of myself for that, and for lots of other little insignificant things.

    As for the whole wrinkles/droopy boobs etc ... yeah its going to happen. I can't imagine I'll be overjoyed about it, but worrying and stressing about it isn't going to change it, so why bother! After all, if it's other peoples' opinions you're worried about - well, they'll be getting older and facing the same issues too. If it's your own opinion you're worried about - well if that's the height of your worries, then you're living a good life. :D

    In fact, worrying about it will probably make things worse!

    Me, I'm not worried about aging in terms of heading into my thirties, things going south or whatever. I worry more about getting to 80 years old and being senile or not able to look after myself. It's an issue for another thread, but I think if I can't live with dignity I don't want to live.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,286 ✭✭✭WesternNight


    It's not so much the wrinkles and sagging I'm worried about. It's the health issues. One of the things I dread most is getting seriously ill. The likelihood of that increases with age. I suppose it would help if I looked after myself better!

    Another thing is the pressure to decide whether or not I want to have children. I'm a bit too indecisive for my own good.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    I"m 37 and I am twice and healthy and twice as happy as I was when I was 27. Go experience! ( and not smoking)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 737 ✭✭✭Morgase


    Me, I'm not worried about aging in terms of heading into my thirties, things going south or whatever. I worry more about getting to 80 years old and being senile or not able to look after myself. It's an issue for another thread, but I think if I can't live with dignity I don't want to live.

    +1


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    Morgase wrote: »
    +1

    Me too, let me live long, eat well, have fun, learn and keep sharp until I die in my sleep sometime in my nineties.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭scanlas


    Deepsense wrote: »
    Getting older in itself does not worry me. In reality,We dont change that much from year to year so I dont scour my face for lines every morning. And anyway, there are a million creams and serums that comfort us that we are doing what we can to preserve what we are judged upon. I want to fast forward to 2099, when maybe we as women might be judged on our actual worth and contribution, as opposed to living in dread of our one bargaining tool swirling down the plughole with our spat out toothpaste in the morning.

    I'd prefer if women stopped being so bothered by how others judge them and therefore giving their power away. I'd prefer if women and everyone realised they don't have the divine right to be judged by everyone the way that they think is appropriate. I'd prefer if women by 2099 stopped worrying about things they can't control and instead use that energy to concentrate on factors they can control, other people's judgment criteria not being one of them. I'd love it if everyone judged the exact attributes I have to be perfection but that's madness.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    No. No point in worrying about something you can't change - worrying causes wrinkles too! :)

    What you can do though is take better care of yourself physically and try not to think too much about your age. I find there seems to be a lot of people defining themselves by their age - "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm too old". I think you should just do what you want to do (unless age genuinely does prevent you from doing it - e.g. becoming a professional footballer at 30).

    I eat a lot more healthily now than when I was younger, I also drink way more water and moisturise like a mofo - it definitely pays off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭scanlas


    Dudess wrote: »
    No. No point in worrying about something you can't change - worrying causes wrinkles too! :)

    What you can do though is take better care of yourself physically and try not to think too much about your age. I find there seems to be a lot of people defining themselves by their age - "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm too old". I think you should just do what you want to do (unless age genuinely does prevent you from doing it - e.g. becoming a professional footballer at 30).

    I eat a lot more healthily now than when I was younger, I also drink way more water and moisturise like a mofo - it definitely pays off.

    Agreed, I hate when people say act your age or your x age now you better start behaving y way. Behave the way you think is right for you not by the typical way people are supposed to behave at a particular age.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭chocgirl


    I'm split on this issue, I'm 25 but look a lot younger, most people seem to guess 20 or 21 and I've always wished that I looked older at work, people often ask me am I qualified or long out of school and I hate having to explain myself all the time.

    On the other hand I dread to think of looking "old" in particular the idea of getting grey hair absolutely terrifies me! I suppose you can't have it all though!:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    panda100 wrote: »
    If your not worried about the lines etc then why buy the lotions and potions?

    Well, I'm not a fashion diva either but that doesn't mean I walk around in dirty ragged clothes. I care for my skin, I try to look as well as I can - I don't think that equates to worrying about it. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭Messerschmitt


    Ageing does not worry me, worrying ages me. In fact, I hope I live long enough to age :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭entropi


    Its not that i'm afraid of getting older, it's that i would be, like so many others here, afraid of wasting the time i've got in this world as a human:)

    I'm not long off 29 yet only look around 22-23 so that helps i guess (if i was a woman hearing that all the time i'd be so happy):p I look after myself, eat decently and keep pretty healthy in both body and mind.

    All i can say is look to the positives in life, negatives are useless and bring ya down!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    chocgirl wrote: »
    I'm split on this issue, I'm 25 but look a lot younger, most people seem to guess 20 or 21 and I've always wished that I looked older at work, people often ask me am I qualified or long out of school and I hate having to explain myself all the time.

    i look younger than i am too, by about 5 or 7 years.

    drives me mad when people at work comment on it "you cant be a doctor, you're too young" "you dont look old enough to be in that job" "how long are you qualified" "sure, you're only a young thing" etc etc etc

    i usually just say something like "i'm not as young as i look" and move on, but it really annoys me


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    I see nothing positive whatsoever about getting older.

    The honest truth is its nothing but one horror after another and trying to tell ourselves we love our lines....well, its just weak platitudes we use to try to console ourselves!!!

    I'd swap all my 'wisdom' and 'experience' to have back my thick curtain of long hair instead of this sensible bob. :mad:

    Enjoy your beauty while you are young girls!!! Beauty is power and you only find that out when it is gone!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'm 20 years old and invincible, why would I be afraid?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    I'm 21, so yer I'm terrified of losing my looks. Vain I know,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,565 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    I see nothing positive whatsoever about getting older.

    The honest truth is its nothing but one horror after another and trying to tell ourselves we love our lines....well, its just weak platitudes we use to try to console ourselves!!!

    I'd swap all my 'wisdom' and 'experience' to have back my thick curtain of long hair instead of this sensible bob. :mad:

    Enjoy your beauty while you are young girls!!! Beauty is power and you only find that out when it is gone!!!


    What's stopping you from growing out your sensible bob? Nobody's 16-year old waistline is coming back, but you can fiddle with your hair until you kick the bucket.

    Beauty is power in what sense? Power over men? The power to captivate others?

    I live in a neighborhood with a lot of older ladies. Every afternoon I see them out, strolling in pairs, and they always seem so elegant and well put-together...and joyful. To me that is powerful and captivating - not letting old age or a bad back take away your joy. I hope I have half as much spark - and fun! - as my elderly neighbors when I am their age.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    panda100 wrote: »
    27 and already Im seeing my eyebrows lowering, my breasts getting a bit droopy, lines under my eyes starten to deepen,hair thinning a bit.
    That seems a bit extreme for 27 - I don't mean to come across as smart but are you sure that's actually the reality rather than you noticing tiny imperfections and building them up into more than they are?
    I do think the message is sent out to women that they'll start to lose their desirability from their late 20s onwards so, so much that we start to believe it and... look for examples of proof.
    Novella wrote: »
    I turned twenty in May and I couldn't celebrate my birthday at all because what I felt wasn't happiness. I just felt like I'd been on this planet for twenty whole years and I actually hadn't achieved one thing in that length of time.
    Sabre0001 wrote: »
    This for me too....Except the bit about sagging breasts (can't be an issue til I grow moobs....and that's an issue in itself!) and replace twenty with twenty-three (so I really need to get moving!)
    You guys are being really harsh on yourselves! I know I'm a fair bit older than you so I've a different perspective, but... achievements at 20/23? Hardly anyone has anything significant achieved by those ages. Plus, what do you mean in terms of achievements? And not everyone is guaranteed to get through life with notable accomplishments behind them - that doesn't mean they're failures though. I used to want to have xyz achieved - a lot of it didn't happen and I was disappointed, but now I couldn't give a toss, frankly.
    I see nothing positive whatsoever about getting older.

    The honest truth is its nothing but one horror after another and trying to tell ourselves we love our lines....well, its just weak platitudes we use to try to console ourselves!!!
    Well I'm certainly not thrilled about the idea of everything going south, lines/wrinkles etc (at 31 I'm lucky enough for very little in that department to have started yet - I could be one of those people for whom it all just happens overnight though... :(:D) but while I won't celebrate these, I won't get upset by them either - as there is no point. It's something that's out of my control, so the best thing to do is just accept it and make the best of my lot, while looking after myself physically (this certainly helps a person age well).
    I do see positives in ageing - the confidence and perspective it gives you being key ones. I don't understand what you mean by "one horror after another".
    I also think "youth" is relative (to a point) - if you're 70, you might be pining for when you were 40.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    My mother is 71.
    A few years back she told me there is nothing more freeing than the day you stop caring about what you look like.
    I'm not saying she doesn't take care of herself, she's in great shape and form and full of the joys of life. She's happy to be alive and healthy.
    She just no longer gives a toss what other people think when they look at her.

    Care less about what you look like girls and be glad you are alive and healthy!

    Happy Birthday g'em! :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    Dudess wrote: »
    You guys are being really harsh on yourselves! I know I'm a fair bit older than you so I've a different perspective, but... achievements at 20/23? Hardly anyone has anything significant achieved by those ages. Plus, what do you mean in terms of achievements? And not everyone is guaranteed to get through life with notable accomplishments behind them - that doesn't mean they're failures though. I used to want to have xyz achieved - a lot of it didn't happen and I was disappointed, but now I couldn't give a toss, frankly.

    I don't think I'm harsh on myself at all. I know not everyone is guaranteed to do something "notable" and I know not everyone wants to, but I do want to. I guess from a young age I've always had people holding out high expectations for me and I think it's something that has now just transferred onto myself.

    I'm just one of those people who need to be able to pinpoint things. I like seeing what money was spent on, knowing where things went wrong etc. I want to be able to look back at my life someday and not just see blurs of time. I don't know if that sounds really terrible.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭chocgirl


    sam34 wrote: »
    i look younger than i am too, by about 5 or 7 years.

    drives me mad when people at work comment on it "you cant be a doctor, you're too young" "you dont look old enough to be in that job" "how long are you qualified" "sure, you're only a young thing" etc etc etc

    i usually just say something like "i'm not as young as i look" and move on, but it really annoys me


    Yeah I think it's worse working in healthcare actually, respect seems to go hand in hand with age, bring on the wrinkles!

    Don't think people should be down about turning 20 though, plenty of time for achievements at 20, or 25 for that matter:)!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    I suppose it's all relative - I remember being freaked when I turned 20 too. Not because I thought I was getting "old" but just that... 20 seemed like a grown-up age and I felt I shouldn't feel as much of a kid as I did. :D
    The years had just gone by so fast and I was thinking "Wow, I'm 20 - but I feel like I'm at a much earlier stage in life".
    I was a lot less freaked about turning 30 though because during the intervening years, I got used to the idea of time going quickly and always feeling younger than I actually am. I think most people feel that way.

    As for the healthcare professional thing: I hear that complaint from doctors a fair bit - someone who was a regular poster here before, and a doctor, found it the bain of her professional life.
    I have a friend who's a 30-year-old doctor with loads of qualifications and experience, yet she still gets the same "I'm not having that young one looking at me" stuff. She's so wrecked from 10+ years of being over-worked and getting too little sleep that she can't understand how she looks so young still. :)
    Novella wrote: »
    I don't think I'm harsh on myself at all. I know not everyone is guaranteed to do something "notable" and I know not everyone wants to, but I do want to.
    Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as critical - not the intention. :)
    Of course there's nothing wrong with having ambitions and wanting to make a mark. What I'm saying is though, at 20, don't be worrying. It's probably a pain in the arse to be told this, but you really do have loads of time.
    And also, if plans don't work out, don't feel disappointed or like a failure. Only so much goes according to plan, and even mundane things can be great life achievements. :)
    I guess from a young age I've always had people holding out high expectations for me and I think it's something that has now just transferred onto myself.

    I'm just one of those people who need to be able to pinpoint things. I like seeing what money was spent on, knowing where things went wrong etc. I want to be able to look back at my life someday and not just see blurs of time. I don't know if that sounds really terrible.
    Yes of course, nobody wants to look back on their life and see wasted opportunities, regrets... but I think most of us may see one or more of those at some point (perhaps because of decisions or non decisions that felt right at the time) and what I have found age has done is put those in a different light - as something not to be sad about, but simply how life has panned out. If you map things too much, you could set yourself up for disappointment (not saying you definitely will, but there is that chance).
    That said though: it is of course the right thing for you to have goals and to aim as far as you can - if that's what you want, but at the same time, take life as it comes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,878 ✭✭✭Rozabeez


    WARNING
    "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
    And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
    And run my stick along the public railings
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .

    The ending of the poem pleases its readers when the woman says . . .

    But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
    So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
    When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple."

    That about sums it up.


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