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Getting older and ageing...Does it worry you
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08-12-2009 05:21PM#1
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I think you'll find that as you get older that the kind of men who put beauty above all else are the kind of guys you want to leave behind you anyway. I turned 30 yesterday (\o/) and I can say with complete honesty that I feel 100 times more desirable now than I ever did when I was in my early twenties. This is a combination of a lot of things, in no small part to exercising and taking care of myself, but also because getting that teeny bit older has brought with it a confidence and self assurance that eludes us when we're younger. My ass is firmer, boobs are perkier, hair is in better nick, smile is broader, contentment is deeper, self-belief is stronger, and confidence is better than it ever was ten years ago.Im single and it is a worry that I am definatly a lot less physical desirable to men then I was and things are only going to go downhill from here! :eek:
So balls to the idea that now that I'm 'older' I'm less attractive, frankly
I've been watching this concept for a while now, and actually I don't think that's quite true any more. Everywhere you look the slightly older, more mature woman is being celebrated.panda100 wrote:For a women beauty really equates to youth in our society whereas the definition of male beauty is so much broader. Its horrible that men seemingly get more attractive as they get older and women less and less so :mad:
The high-street is bulging with clothes that emphasize womanly curves, and the sexiest women in the world are frequently (if not most often) in the 30+ range. The only people I really see perpetuating this idea that guys get turned off by a woman getting older are girls themselves - the guys on the other hand are besotted with the concept of a woman who knows who she is and what she wants
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There's no contradiction there - I'm not putting beauty above anything, I was responding to what the OP had said about her own body. My physical appearance is only one part of me, the whole package makes me "me", hence why I commented on my confidence and my contentment and my well-beingspot the contradiction
Not sure who you're agreeing with there as I don't think that point has been made at all. I said that it's girls who perpetuate the idea that younger women automatically = more beautiful. Anyway, that's another bonus of getting ancient, you don't feel the need to compete with anyone else anymoreNathan251 wrote:although i agree that women are their own worst enemies and often compete to out-beautify each other (to such an extent that they become caked in so much extensions, creams, make-ups and fake tan that they become hideous like a christmas cake that is all icing uugggghhhh!!!) and men prefer a women comfortable in her own skin
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Meah. I'm 24, I have "nothing of note" achieved with my life to date.
Not from the outside anyways. I mean, I'm not "famous" or "travelled" or whatever. And I've done nothing that no one else has done before.
But I'm happy! I'm in love, I'm busy, I'm happy.
People talk about not having achieved anything ... but like, for example, I'd consider having passed my driving test a major achievement! Even though its something that lots of people do every single day - it was a big thing for me, and therefore it was a big achievement in my life. Who cares if other people aren't impressed by that - I'm proud of myself for that, and for lots of other little insignificant things.
As for the whole wrinkles/droopy boobs etc ... yeah its going to happen. I can't imagine I'll be overjoyed about it, but worrying and stressing about it isn't going to change it, so why bother! After all, if it's other peoples' opinions you're worried about - well, they'll be getting older and facing the same issues too. If it's your own opinion you're worried about - well if that's the height of your worries, then you're living a good life. 0 -
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Ickle Magoo wrote: »I don't really care about ageing in terms of aesthetics - well, I dye my hair and use plenty of lotions & potions - but it doesn't scare me.
If your not worried about the lines etc then why buy the lotions and potions?Getting older in itself does not worry me. In reality,We dont change that much from year to year so I dont scour my face for lines every morning. And anyway, there are a million creams and serums that comfort us that we are doing what we can to preserve what we are judged upon.
Your early thirties are hard cos youre seeing through the bull****, but still buy into it slightly.
I really like your post Deepsense! Yeah I think its a matter of seeing past all the bullsh*t really.
It amazes me cos my sister is a dentist who does botoxing on the side and she has a waiting list a mile long of 22-35 year old women coming into get botox. Im worried that Im going to be the only one of my generation with lines on my face!The only thing that bothers me about ageing is that it means my body is going to start giving out on me. At 29 I've already had to have some tune ups and am in pretty good shape still with regard my body working well. It's only a matter of time before something goes wrong that can't be quickly sorted and will affect my quality of life in someway. Fading health scares me. Give me all the wrinkles, droopiness etc you like they don't bother me one bit.
Do you mind me asking what you mean by tune ups?Just curious 0 -
Do you mind me asking what you mean by tune ups?Just curious
Not at all. Most recently my back I had to realise that I had to work on it to avoid pain, whereas when I was younger I never got pain even though my posture was probably worse!
Another major-ish one was having to go through surgery to fix a "woman's issue" that was badly affecting things. It's sorted now but I feel I have to work harder for my body to bounce back and it's never fully the same as it was.
I only said tune-up to liken my body to a car (bit flippant but my car is 10 years old and is going into the garage tomorrow so is on my mind!)0 -
Not at all. Most recently my back I had to realise that I had to work on it to avoid pain, whereas when I was younger I never got pain even though my posture was probably worse!
Another major-ish one was having to go through surgery to fix a "woman's issue" that was badly affecting things. It's sorted now but I feel I have to work harder for my body to bounce back and it's never fully the same as it was.
I only said tune-up to liken my body to a car (bit flippant but my car is 10 years old and is going into the garage tomorrow so is on my mind!)
Oh right,I thought you were talking about a nip and a tuck!I have a problem with my back and posture too,one of the problems of being 6' 0 -
Oh right,I thought you were talking about a nip and a tuck!I have a problem with my back and posture too,one of the problems of being 6'
Jaysus no, not my thing
I'm rarely bothered by my physical appearance and if I am it's usually me being annoyed with myself for letting something avoidable happen, like no longer being able to fit in my clothes. 0 -
chatterpillar wrote: »Meah. I'm 24, I have "nothing of note" achieved with my life to date.
Not from the outside anyways. I mean, I'm not "famous" or "travelled" or whatever. And I've done nothing that no one else has done before.
But I'm happy! I'm in love, I'm busy, I'm happy.
People talk about not having achieved anything ... but like, for example, I'd consider having passed my driving test a major achievement! Even though its something that lots of people do every single day - it was a big thing for me, and therefore it was a big achievement in my life. Who cares if other people aren't impressed by that - I'm proud of myself for that, and for lots of other little insignificant things.
As for the whole wrinkles/droopy boobs etc ... yeah its going to happen. I can't imagine I'll be overjoyed about it, but worrying and stressing about it isn't going to change it, so why bother! After all, if it's other peoples' opinions you're worried about - well, they'll be getting older and facing the same issues too. If it's your own opinion you're worried about - well if that's the height of your worries, then you're living a good life.
In fact, worrying about it will probably make things worse!
Me, I'm not worried about aging in terms of heading into my thirties, things going south or whatever. I worry more about getting to 80 years old and being senile or not able to look after myself. It's an issue for another thread, but I think if I can't live with dignity I don't want to live.0 -
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No. No point in worrying about something you can't change - worrying causes wrinkles too!
What you can do though is take better care of yourself physically and try not to think too much about your age. I find there seems to be a lot of people defining themselves by their age - "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm too old". I think you should just do what you want to do (unless age genuinely does prevent you from doing it - e.g. becoming a professional footballer at 30).
I eat a lot more healthily now than when I was younger, I also drink way more water and moisturise like a mofo - it definitely pays off.0 -
No. No point in worrying about something you can't change - worrying causes wrinkles too!
What you can do though is take better care of yourself physically and try not to think too much about your age. I find there seems to be a lot of people defining themselves by their age - "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm too old". I think you should just do what you want to do (unless age genuinely does prevent you from doing it - e.g. becoming a professional footballer at 30).
I eat a lot more healthily now than when I was younger, I also drink way more water and moisturise like a mofo - it definitely pays off.
Agreed, I hate when people say act your age or your x age now you better start behaving y way. Behave the way you think is right for you not by the typical way people are supposed to behave at a particular age.0 -
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That seems a bit extreme for 27 - I don't mean to come across as smart but are you sure that's actually the reality rather than you noticing tiny imperfections and building them up into more than they are?27 and already Im seeing my eyebrows lowering, my breasts getting a bit droopy, lines under my eyes starten to deepen,hair thinning a bit.
I do think the message is sent out to women that they'll start to lose their desirability from their late 20s onwards so, so much that we start to believe it and... look for examples of proof.I turned twenty in May and I couldn't celebrate my birthday at all because what I felt wasn't happiness. I just felt like I'd been on this planet for twenty whole years and I actually hadn't achieved one thing in that length of time.
You guys are being really harsh on yourselves! I know I'm a fair bit older than you so I've a different perspective, but... achievements at 20/23? Hardly anyone has anything significant achieved by those ages. Plus, what do you mean in terms of achievements? And not everyone is guaranteed to get through life with notable accomplishments behind them - that doesn't mean they're failures though. I used to want to have xyz achieved - a lot of it didn't happen and I was disappointed, but now I couldn't give a toss, frankly.This for me too....Except the bit about sagging breasts (can't be an issue til I grow moobs....and that's an issue in itself!) and replace twenty with twenty-three (so I really need to get moving!)
Well I'm certainly not thrilled about the idea of everything going south, lines/wrinkles etc (at 31 I'm lucky enough for very little in that department to have started yet - I could be one of those people for whom it all just happens overnight though...Cheap Thrills! wrote: »I see nothing positive whatsoever about getting older.
The honest truth is its nothing but one horror after another and trying to tell ourselves we love our lines....well, its just weak platitudes we use to try to console ourselves!!!
:D) but while I won't celebrate these, I won't get upset by them either - as there is no point. It's something that's out of my control, so the best thing to do is just accept it and make the best of my lot, while looking after myself physically (this certainly helps a person age well).
I do see positives in ageing - the confidence and perspective it gives you being key ones. I don't understand what you mean by "one horror after another".
I also think "youth" is relative (to a point) - if you're 70, you might be pining for when you were 40.0 -
My mother is 71.
A few years back she told me there is nothing more freeing than the day you stop caring about what you look like.
I'm not saying she doesn't take care of herself, she's in great shape and form and full of the joys of life. She's happy to be alive and healthy.
She just no longer gives a toss what other people think when they look at her.
Care less about what you look like girls and be glad you are alive and healthy!
Happy Birthday g'em! 0 -
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I suppose it's all relative - I remember being freaked when I turned 20 too. Not because I thought I was getting "old" but just that... 20 seemed like a grown-up age and I felt I shouldn't feel as much of a kid as I did.
The years had just gone by so fast and I was thinking "Wow, I'm 20 - but I feel like I'm at a much earlier stage in life".
I was a lot less freaked about turning 30 though because during the intervening years, I got used to the idea of time going quickly and always feeling younger than I actually am. I think most people feel that way.
As for the healthcare professional thing: I hear that complaint from doctors a fair bit - someone who was a regular poster here before, and a doctor, found it the bain of her professional life.
I have a friend who's a 30-year-old doctor with loads of qualifications and experience, yet she still gets the same "I'm not having that young one looking at me" stuff. She's so wrecked from 10+ years of being over-worked and getting too little sleep that she can't understand how she looks so young still.
Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as critical - not the intention.I don't think I'm harsh on myself at all. I know not everyone is guaranteed to do something "notable" and I know not everyone wants to, but I do want to.
Of course there's nothing wrong with having ambitions and wanting to make a mark. What I'm saying is though, at 20, don't be worrying. It's probably a pain in the arse to be told this, but you really do have loads of time.
And also, if plans don't work out, don't feel disappointed or like a failure. Only so much goes according to plan, and even mundane things can be great life achievements.
Yes of course, nobody wants to look back on their life and see wasted opportunities, regrets... but I think most of us may see one or more of those at some point (perhaps because of decisions or non decisions that felt right at the time) and what I have found age has done is put those in a different light - as something not to be sad about, but simply how life has panned out. If you map things too much, you could set yourself up for disappointment (not saying you definitely will, but there is that chance).I guess from a young age I've always had people holding out high expectations for me and I think it's something that has now just transferred onto myself.
I'm just one of those people who need to be able to pinpoint things. I like seeing what money was spent on, knowing where things went wrong etc. I want to be able to look back at my life someday and not just see blurs of time. I don't know if that sounds really terrible.
That said though: it is of course the right thing for you to have goals and to aim as far as you can - if that's what you want, but at the same time, take life as it comes.0 -
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