Preference for a baby boy or girl?

CathyMoran

There is an almost identical thread in the Gentlemans Lounge but mods if it is OK, would like a more female perspective.

We are expecting a boy and when I said it to some people (MIL) she was thrilled that it was a boy...for me it was more is he healthy, even if not we will love him though I admit that it makes me more want to have another child as I am very close to my dad and wanted a daughter to experience the same wonderful close bond...my husband is just delighted with our beautiful child though my dad and husband expected that we were having a son all along.

I should state that I am totally in love with our beautuful child and the fact that he should look like his dad is wonderful.

I should say that we have had muutiple mis and I always felt that the baby we lost in Jan was a son and I was/am still grieving for him, though this baby is helping.

puppy cat

I have followed your story quite closely over the months and first off I just want to say I'm delighted for you both!

As for the boy/girl preference, I'd be in agreement with you that once the baby is healthy that's a bonus.

A baby is a baby, and when you have tried so hard and been through so much then to just get handed the baby at the end of the long road will be enough I'm sure.

You're obviously a very strong couple and whatever the outcome, healthy or some health problems (fingers and toes crossed that everything is fine of course!), your baby will be loved unconditionally by both of you and obviously your families too.

Your story is a shining beacon of light in an otherwise, sometimes, dark and depressing world. I'm sure it has given hope to a lot of people and you should both be very proud.

I look forward to seeing the first picture of your little bundle of joy!

LadyE

Just want a healthy baby

xzanti

10 fingers and 10 toes and I'll be happy



(and everything else of course)

pikachucheeks

I hypothetically said a girl.

If I had a girl, I don't think anything would make me happier than getting to dress them up in cute clothes and putting pigtails in their hair.
It's like accessorising a second self

I know that probably sounds silly, but if I was to have kids, dressing them would actually be something I'd look forward to

Also, my mum is a midwife, and she's always said that girls are fighters. If there's any complications during (or around) the birth - she's always said, from her own experience as a midwife and working in hospitals, that baby girls are warriors and fight through difficulties, much more than baby boys seem to.

That might not be technically or statistically true, but it does *kind of* impact on why I'd like a girl over a boy.

Agent Smith

As long as he/she has 10 fingers and 10 toes, i'm happy

Cathmandooo

I wouldn't mind either way at all. I'm sure if I had 10 boys I'd be longing for having a girl and vice versa! I don't want that many kids but you get what I mean

xzanti

Cathooo wrote: »

I wouldn't mind either way at all. I'm sure if I had 10 boys I'd be longing for having a girl and vice versa! I don't want that many kids but you get what I mean

Yes exactly, I don't think anybody really minds on their first but as you go along and/if you have more, of course it would be nice to have a balance, but I don't think it would bother me really to have all boys or all girls once they were healthy..

omb0wyn5ehpij9

When that time comes for me, as long as they are healthy and happy, that's all that matters!

WindSock

I don't think I would care too much. I do notice people (especially older mothers) go ga ga when they here someones child is going to be a boy. It's almost as if they are disappointed that it's a girl.

Lollipops23

reckon a girl,purely so I could dress her up in flouncy dresses!!!!also I'm very close to my mam so I'd like to have that. also I have 4 brothers:D

Honestly wouldn't mind though,healthy baba is all I'd want!


PS: Cathy,am just so thrilled for you and shane!can't even put it into words:D

ash23

I have a girl and I adore her and tbh, I wouldn't know where to start with a boy! I have mostly nieces too.

Obviously healthy bubs would be the main thing but if I were to go again I'd quite like another little girl. I'm used to girls and I'd love for my daughter to have a sister as I have a few sisters and am close to them. I'd like for her to experience that.

Joey the lips

Healthy and happy the sex does not matter! Truly!

Das Kitty

Before I found out the sex of my baby I felt that I would prefer a girl, I've always wanted both but based on our paternal family histories we were thinking it would be more likely to be a boy.

I have to admit I was a bit scared when we found out he's a boy for a few reasons.

I know what it's like to grow up as a girl, I have a very clear view of how I'd raise a girl and be able to identify with her through all the growing up pain.

Men in my family have a variety of problems with mental health and addiction, it's hard for me to picture him like my OH's family as I don't know them as well. Even on the scan it was my younger brother's face as a baby I could see (regardless of the fact that I was just looking at a cross section of his skull!)

I spoke to my OH about my worries and after less than a day I was very excited about my little man and could picture him as my OHs son. We've always wanted a few kids so hopefully will have a daughter some day too. Wouldn't swap my little boy now though.

Lockstep

I came across your story on boards.ie a few times, glad this is working out for you.



I'd love a son. Althougha girl would be no disappointment at all.
When I'm older, wiser, and more financially solvent.

Pretty_Pistol

I picked boy because I always liked the thought of having a boy and a girl. I'd like the girl to have a big brother.

cch

I picked girl for my first (still have to get that far though, long story)
I'm one of two girls and feel like I wouldn't know what to do with a boy! I know DH would help but I just think at least I'd have a clue with a girl. :P
Also regarding having boys, things like violence, suicide, war, changing roles causing uncertainity and depression for men etc scares me silly.

I couldn't tell you why, but I like boys more. Maybe it's because I get along with them better socially, I dunno
But ultimately as long as it was my baby and it was healthy I wouldn't care

Shelga

I like the idea of the first child being a boy- a big brother for any future siblings, he could look out for them etc. Not that it's worked that way in my family! :rolleyes:

I also want a girl though to dress up and play with, childish as it seems! But happy and healthy is the main thing, as others have said.

I've caught parts of your story too Cathy, congrats on the baby

minidazzler

A boy, so he can be a heart breaker and charmer, just like his old man!! :P

Novella

When I was younger, I had a preference for a baby girl. I wanted someone I could dress up in cute little outfits, you know, the usual. I can say honestly now though that as long as I gave birth to a healthy baby, I'd be over the moon either way, regardless of the sex.

nkay1985

I'm like everyone else in that once a baby's healthy, I couldn't care less if it's a boy or a girl. If I could choose what I'd have, I'd choose a boy. I'd love to do all that father-son stuff. But my fiancée really wants to have a girl and I'd actually rather her have what she'd prefer to me.

I think I'd feel I really missed out if I had one and not the other. It must be two completely different experiences, raising a boy and a girl.

ebmma

CathyMoran wrote: »

I am very close to my dad and wanted a daughter to experience the same wonderful close bond..

I just wanted to say that usually a stronger bond is formed with a parent of opposite sex. Like mothers and sons and fathers and daughters. A rule of thumb sort of thing. So maybe you got exactly what you needed, just not precisely what you wished for

Personally, I think people always get a bit defensive about preferring a specific sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with that though. I was over the moon when I found out that I'm having a boy (OH didn't really care which one we get this time around). Not that I would be devastated if it turned out to be a girl. But I'm just at the stage in my life when I would enjoy a little boy a little bit more If I end up having a daughter at some stage - sure, that's great. But I do always picture myself a mother of several sons

rannerap

I put down girl,not that i wouldnt be thrilled to have a little boy,its just that girls run very dominantly through my family so ive always just expected that my first one at least will be a girl

metrovelvet

ebmma wrote: »

I just wanted to say that usually a stronger bond is formed with a parent of opposite sex. Like mothers and sons and fathers and daughters. A rule of thumb sort of thing. So maybe you got exactly what you needed, just not precisely what you wished for

Personally, I think people always get a bit defensive about preferring a specific sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with that though. I was over the moon when I found out that I'm having a boy (OH didn't really care which one we get this time around). Not that I would be devastated if it turned out to be a girl. But I'm just at the stage in my life when I would enjoy a little boy a little bit more If I end up having a daughter at some stage - sure, that's great. But I do always picture myself a mother of several sons

When I was pregnant everyone said to me "boys love their mothers" "the boys are for the mommies." And by god did that turn out to be true. My son should be named Oedipus.

The Big Red Button

I'm not planning on having kids any time soon, but when I do I'd love at least one girl.

I really don't know why! It's not just the clothes ... boys have cute clothes too! I suppose maybe its that most of the nice kids I know are girls, and most of the little fcukers are boys.

Having said that, when it comes to the teenage years, I suppose teenage girls are far more likely to cause stress etc.

I'm pretty sure that, by the time I'm actually mature enough to have kids, I probably won't care either way, will just be hoping for a happy healthy baby!

Chinafoot

If I had to choose I would say girl. I have 2 sisters, no brothers and one niece. As I posted in the other thread, I have an aunt to is convinced that girls are far easier to deal with in general as babies/toddlers. Boys can be far more clingy.

Obviously the shít hits the fan when they hit their teens but, as another poster mentioned, I've been through that and would find it easier to relate to it.

Ideally I would like one of each, I don't mind in what order We joke about it sometimes, I tell him if we do have kids it'll be a girl and he reckons it'd be a boy (2 boys and no girls in his family). His dad is also a twin so he likes to throw that one in from time to time :P

Ickle Magoo

No preference any more - but I have one of each now.

On my first pregnancy I was convinced I was having a girl (we deliberately didn't find out) & I was delighted at that because I have no brothers & the thought of having a little fella running around was completely alien to me, I wanted to recreate all the happy memories I had when I was little. I gave birth to a boy & I have to tell you, I was terrified - didn't know where to begin!

I had a little girl on my second pregnancy & while we absolutely dote on her, I am soooooo glad my initial convictions were wrong. Learning all about a little man and his wee boisterous ways, playing soldiers and digging in the mud, has been a strangely liberating experience!

Hrududu

I don't think it would matter. Although the thoughts of a girl hitting the teenage years is daunting.

metaoblivia

When I was younger, I definitely wanted girls because girl names are more fun, and you can dress them up. I also feel like I'd have more to teach them, as a woman. But as I got older, I began to see the value in having a boy, too, so now either would be great. Any child is a blessing!

Cheap Thrills!

Female and would always have wanted a boy. Am a tomboy myself and have no interest in shopping/dressing up or girls toys!!!

Also really dislike the colour pink!!!

Maple

An army of little girls. With an older brother to look out for them all.

I don't know why really, obviously i'd love a healthy child above everything but i'm lucky to have 4 sisters and some fabulous female friends so I'd feel i'd relate better.

But then i don't know until it happens, maybe we'd kill one another and have the type of relationship i now have with my mother.

Any key?

Am female
I work with kids and the little boys are always the ones you end up in love with.
I think It would have to be boys for me The little girl might draw attention away from how cute I am

Congratulations CathyMoarn!I'm so happy everything is going so well for you

Catari Jaguar

I'd LOVE to have a little boy. I'm not particularly interested in having a baby girl. If I do I won't be doing girly stuff with her or buying her pink dresses and dolls. I was a total tomboy, have one older and one younger brother. I never dressed like a girl or played with girls toys or even played with girls till I was about 7. Even now girls tend to piss me off and I much prefer the company of males.

I think a teenage daughter would be pretty tough. I hate to imagine having a frayed relationship with her or if she got pregnant real young. Then there's the whole Daddy's girl thing... Hahah. I hope to never ever turn into an Irish mammy if I do have a son, but I can't see much chance for that because I don't put up with that crap.

I've taught boys, aged 4- 6, for the past 3 years. I just think they're so hilarious and boisterous. They're so much easier to teach than girls and they just get on with their own thing. At Halloween the girls come in in their Disney princess costumes and the boys are zommbies, vampires and superheroes. I'm way more into that kind of stuff.

Just noticed a lot of posters talking about dressing up their little girls. If I have a son I'm gonna get him capes and pirate costumes and stuff, Metallica baby grows and clothes from T Shirt Hell, let him have crazy hair, all of that! It's gonna be deadly! Poor child. :P

cacio

I don't want children at all so perhaps I shouldn't be posting here. Oh well.

I can't understand the fascination with wanting a girl. Especially from females! Have you forgotten how horrible, sneaky and snidey girls can be? I think they'd be far worse as teenagers than boys. I have it in my head that boys are moer honest and easy-going, not sure why.

Also, I love shopping and dressing myself up but I hate little girls clothes. I'd much prefer to dress a boy. I think they look cuter. I quite dislike the clothes most parents but on girls.

I'm probably going to be hated now but it's just my opinion. For the record, I voted 'don't want kids - female'.

Contessa Raven

I said I don't mind. I can't wait to start having children (but I have to until I have a house and money!). Once my babies are happy and healthy I'll be over the moon! My mum has a twin brother and younger twin sisters (one of which has twins of her own) and my OH's mum has 3 siblings who are triplets and his dad's side has twins. So, we're pretty FU**ED!

I'll have kids coming out my ears!
Still can't wait though!

WindSock

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Female and would always have wanted a boy. Am a tomboy myself and have no interest in shopping/dressing up or girls toys!!!

Also really dislike the colour pink!!!

You don't have to buy your baby daughter pink or dolls if you don't want too...

Khannie

Hrududu wrote: »

I don't think it would matter. Although the thoughts of a girl hitting the teenage years is daunting.

Yeah, I have to say this is a big frightener for me. As a male who was once a teenager I'm well aware that only one thought goes through a teenage boys mind and it ain't pretty. Living in fear of the first time a boy calls to the door looking for my little girl. :eek:

Malari

cacio wrote: »

I can't understand the fascination with wanting a girl. Especially from females!

Also, I love shopping and dressing myself up but I hate little girls clothes. I'd much prefer to dress a boy. I think they look cuter. I quite dislike the clothes most parents but on girls.

I've abstained on this thread as well, so far, but I agree. I like little girls much less than little boys. Nothing to do with being a tomboy or anything, I just don't think baby girls are cute. Boys can be.

Then again, I won't have the dilemma as I'm not having kids

Das Kitty

Khannie wrote: »

Yeah, I have to say this is a big frightener for me. As a male who was once a teenager I'm well aware that only one thought goes through a teenage boys mind and it ain't pretty. Living in fear of the first time a boy calls to the door looking for my little girl. :eek:

My Mam says, with boys you only have to worry about one little pr*ck, with a girl you gotta worry about them all!

Novella

Das Kitty wrote: »

My Mam says, with boys you only have to worry about one little pr*ck, with a girl you gotta worry about them all!

That's brilliant!!

I remember the first time I brought a guy home, I was about fourteen or fifteen and he was so cute, totally innocent and perfect.

My dad is really chilled and though we're very close and can chat about anything and have a laugh, neither of us are overly emotional or into the big I love you's etc.

Anyway, my terrified boyfriend had gone home and my dad came in and sat down beside me on the couch. He pointed to a photograph of me when I was about a year old that was hanging on the wall.

"I still see you like that. You learned how to talk, how to walk, how to read, how to write. I helped. You'll learn how to drive and how to change a tyre and I hope I'll be the one to show you. You're learning love now and if he ever teaches you heartbreak, that's ok because I'm gonna be the one to teach you he never deserved you in the first place."

Then he just got up and walked out! I'll remember it forever though! It was the ultimate daddy-daughter moment

Khannie

Novella wrote: »

Then he just got up and walked out! I'll remember it forever though! It was the ultimate daddy-daughter moment

That's excellent. I hope I achieve that kind of wisdom over the next 12 years.

Novella

Khannie wrote: »

That's excellent. I hope I achieve that kind of wisdom over the next 12 years.

I'd say you have it by the bucket load already, Khannie! It's obvious you are really passionate about your family from your posts so I know you're an amazing dad and I'm sure when the time comes for your lil girl to be bringing a boy home, you'll know exactly the right thing to say

Acoshla

I've always said I'd prefer a girl and if I have kids I'll have to find out the sex because if it's a boy I'll need as much time as possible to come to terms with it

I'm an only child and grew up with just my mum so no experience of boys there, most of my cousins are girls so it was always baby girls I had to mind not boys. I am pathetic and love all the cute girly things, not so much the pink but the dressing up, teddies, pigtails, teaching them to bake, etc. Boys are so boisterous and dirty and loud, no way could I handle that! Although I'd be as bad with a girl that was a tomboy, wouldn't know what to do with her

I think also because I'm so close to my mum it'd be great to maybe have that too. And the thoughts of having a teenage boy living in my house makes me shudder, my boyfriend is practically that anyway, I could never handle another!

Khannie

Novella wrote: »

I'd say you have it by the bucket load already, Khannie! It's obvious you are really passionate about your family from your posts so I know you're an amazing dad

Thanks mrs.

Novella wrote: »

I'm sure when the time comes for your lil girl to be bringing a boy home, you'll know exactly the right thing to say

"Get off my property"

Professey Chin

I really have no idea.Id probably raise them both the same (both nerds who love music and play any sport they can get their hands on).The only real difference is im hell bent on getting to name the girl

Professey Chin

Novella wrote: »

I'm sure when the time comes for your lil girl to be bringing a boy home, you'll know exactly the right thing to say

Head kick!!
:pac:

metrovelvet

Khannie wrote: »

Yeah, I have to say this is a big frightener for me. As a male who was once a teenager I'm well aware that only one thought goes through a teenage boys mind and it ain't pretty. Living in fear of the first time a boy calls to the door looking for my little girl. :eek:

You know what? Id be far more fearful of other adolescent girls than I would be of boys. Girls are mean.

SarahSassy

First preference is that baby is healthy and that given I would love twins. One boy and one girl at the same time - job done!

ebmma

Chinafoot wrote: »

Boys can be far more clingy.

parents are never happy when child is small and clingy they can't wait to be able to get out of the house and do something for themselves. Then kids get older, parents get upset that kids don't want to constantly be around them anymore...

aaah, life

Chinafoot

ebmma wrote: »

parents are never happy when child is small and clingy they can't wait to be able to get out of the house and do something for themselves. Then kids get older, parents get upset that kids don't want to constantly be around them anymore...

aaah, life

Well I'm sure most would like a bit of a balance between the two. A friend of mine has a boy of 18 months and she can't leave his sight without him having a tantrum. A work colleague has a 13 year old daughter that regularly tells her she hates her. Both are such extremes and are equally stressful I'm sure.

Personally, having been a teenage girl, I would prefer one of them.