things you regret you did while drunk

geeky

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

Left a pub on the quays (in a southern town ) at 3.50am absolutely flutered. I know the time because I heard it on the radio next morning. I staggered along by the edge for a while and kind of wobbled, I didn't want to fall in so to straighten myself I had to kind of run, the momentum picked up and I'd say I hit the water at about 30mph.

The cold brought me back to my senses fairly sharpish, I scrambled to a nearby boat and it took me nearly 20 minutes to get into it, I was exhausted. When I woke the next morning I realised the boat was out at sea, the skipp was as surprised to see me as I was to see him.

The most regrettable part for me was the waste of search, rescue and firemens time, you see the pub owner had seen me trebble summersault into the water and had called the services, the boat skipper called them off.

Phonecall from pub owner to emergency services... €00.00
Search and Rescue operation for Uncle Tom.... €5,000
The hapless skipper having to end his day early to haul his human cargo back to shore... €200
A story like that to tell the grandkids (and boardsies)... priceless.

TestTransmission

About 14 stone

Spastafarian

I once drank a whole crate of red wine with a friend of mine and a girl whom I was in the early stages of wooing. Woke up in the middle of the night to the pleasant surprise of this girl lying beside me. I turned over for a wee cuddle, a movement which led to the rather unpleasant surprise of the realization that I had shat myself. A lot. Luckily my PJ bottoms took most of the brunt and I managed to get away with it. Still can't believe I put on my PJs while I was that plastered.

Another time I was showing a friend how fast I could run backwards while peeing when the same girl walked around the corner behind me and I bumped into her. Which led to a short and awkward conversation while I did up my fly.

We're still together today.

irish_goat

After a staff party when I was 17 and being fed copious amounts of different drinks (including baileys type shots) a bunch of us all hopped in a big 8 seater taxi home. I'm not a great traveller when I'm drunk and the taxi took ages going through all sorts of rural country roads that had potholes and bumps everywhere. I half fell asleep too and blubbered at one point that I needed air but was told by a total bitch from work that we'd be at mines in a minute (I had no idea where we were). In fact we were nowhere near mines and when I woke up after a particularly bad bump I looked at my mate who said he knew straight away that I was gonna puke so he pushed my head to the other side of me and I threw up all over one of the really hot waitresses and all over the taxi floor. We were a few mins from our work so we pulled in and I stuck my head in a sink whilst my boss had to clean the back of the taxi and the poor girl tried to wash her hair. Luckily we can all laugh at it and the girl joked that she owed me dinner after I gave her mines. Still always gets mentioned at future staff parties.

Timistry

The usual mad drunk texts! April of this year, I told a young wan i was great freinds with that i liked her, mite even have mentioned the L word as well...:o. All downhill after that, have not spoken since:( Damn you drink, the cause and solution to all of lifes problems!

minidazzler

Vinta81 wrote: »

what a twatrt who can't make yp hisd minddd

Drunken regret in progress!!!

congo_90

• Declaring my undieing loyal love to people only to sleep with them later
• lots of fumbly sex in bushes
• Texting/ calling ex's
• Calling ex bosses/places of work (damn voicemail)
• Getting arrested twcie in 20mins for the same offence
• Somehow draining my bank account
• Guilty of buying anything with boobs shots
• A lot of stuff happening which I still don't recall
• Arguing with friends
• running topless in -2c
• Most of my 18th birthday

Yeah not a good one haha

minidazzler

congo_90 wrote: »

• Declaring my undieing loyal love to people only to sleep with them later
• lots of fumbly sex in bushes
• Texting/ calling ex's
• Calling ex bosses/places of work (damn voicemail)
• Getting arrested twcie in 20mins for the same offence
• Somehow draining my bank account
• Guilty of buying anything with boobs shots
• A lot of stuff happening which I still don't recall
• Arguing with friends
• running topless in -2c
• Most of my 18th birthday

Yeah not a good one haha

Why do you regret all that???? IT sounds AWESOME!!!

Local-womanizer

congo_90 wrote: »

• Declaring my undieing loyal love to people only to sleep with them later
• lots of fumbly sex in bushes
• Texting/ calling ex's
• Calling ex bosses/places of work (damn voicemail)
• Getting arrested twcie in 20mins for the same offence
• Somehow draining my bank account
• Guilty of buying anything with boobs shots
• A lot of stuff happening which I still don't recall
• Arguing with friends
• running topless in -2c
• Most of my 18th birthday

Yeah not a good one haha

All in one night too I take it?:p

congo_90

Local-womanizer wrote: »

All in one night too I take it?:p

funnily enough most in one month last year but a lot of it has repeated..

Took a sh*t in a mates house after drinking a lot and eating curry but missed the bowl just a tad. I left long before the family woke.

To ad another I went for a swim at 4am in lanzorote before with some ladies and friends. Naturally a lotta drink, tiredness and some weird pizza along with a floating vodka bottle race wasn't wise which i choked, heaved a lil so ran to the apartment only to slip on my semi naked wetness and projectile vomit the whole bathroom in one swift move.
I'd say it looked cool in slow motion on discovery channel time warp :pac:

DazMarz

Several stories:

-Staying behind after working in a pub on a Friday night, drinking like fúck the whole night from 1am until... I assumed it was around 5am or so. I have to be up at 7:30am on a Saturday for work, so I thought I'd get 2 hours sleep anyway. Stumbled out of the pub: broad daylight. It is 7am. 15 mins to get home. Fell into bed for 15 mins. Back up and into work. Slow morning to say the least.:(

-Screwing a friend of mine's sister at a session. It has not yet come back to haunt me, but I still feel guilty about it!!!:o

-Vomiting into a potted plant in a hotel in Liverpool. I lifted the plant out of the pot, puked, then replaced the plant.:D

-Getting so scuttered after Leinster v. Munster in the Heineken Cup semi-final that I passed out on my bathroom floor, being discovered by a loved one the following morning.

-Drunken texts/calls. (*crying*; ''I lov oooo shooooo musch, I shwear'')

-Getting lost in my own town, failing to discover where my house was... Despite living there for the vast majority of my life.:o

-And one I am very proud of... Pissing over the main door of the UCD Science Block!!!:D

"People say I'm an alcoholic. I mean, alcoholics lie in the gutter pissed. Fair enough, I lie in the gutter pissed too, but I do it just to be sociable like.''

MR Love

Right where do I begin, would be a heavy enough drinker at the best of times, could right a book on drunken regrets, but the scenario with the worst aftermath was the Arctic Monkeys at Malahide Castle.
Would just like to point out that I’m normally a fairly placid person, anyway was very drunk the day in question and had consumed other substances along with the booze, was having a nice time to say the least the band were only on stage into their second or third song and I decided I needed a better view. Laid my eyes upon a lovely port a cabin, “that should do!” Climbed up and was happy out only to realise that it was the Garda communication centre!!! Yes you IDIOT. The guards were in the least bit happy, a crowd gathered and decided to spur me on, when asked in no uncertain terms to get down I decided no I’m “afraid of heights“, they really didn’t like that so much. Arrested with the book lying in wait to be thrown at me.
In work on the Monday listening to the Matt Cooper show listening to reports of how the crowd at the gig was an absolute disgrace when one caller decided to draw attention to one particular video on you tube, of a young gentleman on top of said port a cabin in total defiance of the gardai. Within minutes the “Arctic Monkeys Idiot” was all over work, my superiors the lot. So with pending court case and my reputation in work as an upstanding member of society tarnished forever, I lasted another six months in the job before the cracks began to show, p45 was not long after.

OutlawPete

Many moons ago myself and few mates all went back to one of the lads gaffs for extra beers. He was still living at home so we all had to keep the noise down. I must have dozed off as I woke up on an armchair in the dark with just the light of the TV to make out I was alone.

Picked up the remote and cracked the last can and starting eating some leftover takeaway we'd brought back with us. I put on Channal 4 and The Word is on and I knew what was coming up as it was the repeat from a few nights back.

So, still drunk, sure don't I only start making love to myself - as you do The bit of the show I'd seen the first night is what I'm waiting for, it's the female rock band L7 - they are all mad yokes but to me they looked like Cindy Crawford. Any second now, any second now .. yup, the bassist drops her jeans and I see the big hairy muff, yeah oh yeah, oh that's good, yeah, yeah ..

Side door of house opens just ten feet away down a very short hall: ( I Hear Loud Voices)
"Someone's still up, I think so, sure come on in, must be Michael (my mate) Get him to make tea 'laughter', God it's good to be back in the warmth ..

They now enter the room I'm in as I frantically try button-fly 501s that seem to have 300 buttons and my belt wide open, shirt unbuttoned ..

"Michael.. what is .. who is .. is that?"

She (his mam) looks at the TV and the bassiest from L7's arse is the whole screen and I am now bulking a belt

She gives me a look like she just caught me shagging the family pet. I'll never forget it. She just turned and pushed one of her friends back towards the kitchen that was following her in saying 'Let me say Hello to Michael'. She just said 'It's not Michael' and shut the door and gave me one final death stare

To this day I've never went back to his folks house - the utter shame I felt and still feel is horrible.

Theta

MR Love wrote: »

Right where do I begin, would be a heavy enough drinker at the best of times, could right a book on drunken regrets, but the scenario with the worst aftermath was the Arctic Monkeys at Malahide Castle.
Would just like to point out that I’m normally a fairly placid person, anyway was very drunk the day in question and had consumed other substances along with the booze, was having a nice time to say the least the band were only on stage into their second or third song and I decided I needed a better view. Laid my eyes upon a lovely port a cabin, “that should do!” Climbed up and was happy out only to realise that it was the Garda communication centre!!! Yes you IDIOT. The guards were in the least bit happy, a crowd gathered and decided to spur me on, when asked in no uncertain terms to get down I decided no I’m “afraid of heights“, they really didn’t like that so much. Arrested with the book lying in wait to be thrown at me.
In work on the Monday listening to the Matt Cooper show listening to reports of how the crowd at the gig was an absolute disgrace when one caller decided to draw attention to one particular video on you tube, of a young gentleman on top of said port a cabin in total defiance of the gardai. Within minutes the “Arctic Monkeys Idiot” was all over work, my superiors the lot. So with pending court case and my reputation in work as an upstanding member of society tarnished forever, I lasted another six months in the job before the cracks began to show, p45 was not long after.

Ah now you are going to have to link us to the youtube video!!

mathie

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

2) Blocked a nitelink by throwning a traffic cone at it and getting in trouble with an undercover guard (chauferring) - I got away though as he had to stay with his car:)

You must've seen a film like, "Cone"an The Barbarian.
Then watched a bit of TV like, "Cone" dancing.

doubtfir3

Where to start.. have loads of them.. by my three favourites:

1. rang in the new year in the pub with my friends, 10..9..8.. etc 1.. "Happy New Year!" puked all over the floor in the pub, stmbled out of the pub, stopped for a kebab and started walking to limerick.. car stopped about 2 miles outside town and ended up jumping into a car and going to Cork (they had beer and it made sense at the time).. cue me at 6am in a bus shelter on the western road in Cork hoping against hope that I'd manage to get a B & B or hotel.

2. Again at home.. was going from the pub to a club.. sitting on the bike and pushing myself along by the kerb, two friends walking with me.. guards stopped told me get off the bike.. cue arguments from me.. spouting rights etc..
long story short, me hauled off bike, getting arrested for operating a pedal cycle while drunk and hauled down to the local station.. lucky my neighbour was desk sargeant and "had a word".. stumbled home to bed after that..

3. In Crete, jumping from the window of our apartment (3 floors up) about 5-6ft to a fire escape in the apartment block.. and back again to the kitchen window of our apartment..only properly realising the next morning just how high up off the ground we actually were..

plenty more of them too... but they're my favourites..

rainbowdrop

Timistry wrote: »

The usual mad drunk texts! April of this year, I told a young wan i was great freinds with that i liked her, mite even have mentioned the L word as well...:o. All downhill after that, have not spoken since:( Damn you drink, the cause and solution to all of lifes problems!

Are you a girl as well Timistry?:eek:

If so, I like your style:D

Mark200

caseyann wrote: »

I remember seeing somewhere that beer goggles are a myth

Yep it was in the Metro a while back. It's not that you don't know how ugly the girl is when drunk, it's just that you don't care.

Mardy Bum

I was involved in an altercation with a moving car, the car came out the better though

irish_bob

used my brothers bed as a a toilet while he was in it , he woke up and i got an ass whupping

Pacing Mule

Not too sure I regret this to be honest as I still piss myself laughing thinking about it.

I stole a mates mobile from his jacket while he was away for a leak. I then swapped his girlfriend and his mas mobile numbers on his phone so when we all played let's text a sexy message to the missus later he sent it to his ma.

niallith

ah theres too many to name really,one of worst for me that i felt bad about afterwards was pouring beer on my friends head/hair, he had quite long hair.. anyways he got me back haha, then just falling down like an idiot, its soo not me and not how i want to be preceived(perceived??)