Shít tests for men

Swizz

Do any of ye actually do these? (Eg ask them if theyre gay...etc)
What other ones are there?

Warfi

I have a specially made questionnaire for this very job

Orla K

Swizz wrote: »

Do any of ye actually do these? (Eg ask them if theyre gay...etc)
What other ones are there?

I'm fairly sure I don't do them, I'm not even too sure what you mean. Asking someone there sexual preferance is hardly a test.

Warfi

Swizz wrote: »

Enlighten me please!

Well I have a table set up in the corner of the pub/club/etc. Any men who come in, I get them to fill out the questionnaire. Questions include....What's your name, Are you gay, Are you married, Are you a transexual, Are you going to buy me a drink, Are you rich.

A no to any of the above means they're out. Apart from the name question, it's not the man's fault if he's called No.

Orla K

Warfi wrote: »

Well I have a table set up in the corner of the pub/club/etc. Any men who come in, I get them to fill out the questionnaire. Questions include....What's your name, Are you gay, Are you married, Are you a transexual, Are you going to buy me a drink, Are you rich.

A no to any of the above means they're out. Apart from the name question, it's not the man's fault if he's called No.

So you want a gay, married, transexual who will buy you a drink and is rich:D.
Have you found many?

tman

Warfi wrote: »

A no to any of the above means they're out. Apart from the name question, it's not the man's fault if he's called No.

So you'd go out with Doctor No?:eek:

Warfi

Orla K wrote: »

So you want a gay, married, transexual who will buy you a drink and is rich:D.
Have you found many?

Your point being?*






*oops that went completely arseways didn't it?

Warfi

tman wrote: »

So you'd go out with Doctor No?:eek:

Of course, why not? I can change him.

I used to, and to be honest they served me well.
Why did I give up on them? :S

pikachucheeks

I'm confused as to what these tests are...

pikachucheeks

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I'm confused as to what these tests are...

It is having a sets of rules and tests, that someone has to pass before you decide they are worth liking.

pikachucheeks

Moonbaby wrote: »

It is having a sets of rules and tests, that someone has to pass before you decide they are worth liking.

In that case, I definitely have rules...

Good manners and good grammar are my biggest two.

scanlas

A **** test.... or more accurately known as a congruence test is something a woman says or does, consciously or subconsciously, to test a man's character. It's a way of finding out if a guy is confident or just pretending to be confident. When a woman tests you like this is usually somewhat attracted already. Comments which can be used to test a man are the lines " was that a chat up line?"or "are you a player?" or "do you say this to all the girls?". the man who becomes visibly phased by that comment loses the woman's attraction. The man who is not phased by it increases her attraction for him. An example of a response to the "was that a chat up line?" would be "yea my mam told me to say it?(slightly smiling)." The worst thing you can do is become defensive. If in doubt agree and exaggerate in your response. Never defend or explain yourself. An example of a response to " Do you say that to all the girls?" would be " Yea, you are the 54th girl I've said it to tonight?".

There are many different ways women will test you, she might make fun of you or tease your big nose for example, if your are unphased she becomes attracted. If a window of oppurtunity to escalate with the woman opens up and you do nothing she loses attraction. That's more of a subtle test.

When a woman begins testing you it's usually a sign she believes your value is slightly below her. When you pass you surpass her in relative value and attraction increases.

I thought I'd clear that up for everyone. It occurs very predictably when you come in being a bit cheeky or cocky.

Dord

*takes notes*

deco05ie

scanlas wrote: »

A **** test.... or more accurately known as a congruence test is something a woman says or does, consciously or subconsciously, to test a man's character. It's a way of finding out if a guy is confident or just pretending to be confident. When a woman tests you like this is usually somewhat attracted already. Comments which can be used to test a man are the lines " was that a chat up line?"or "are you a player?" or "do you say this to all the girls?". the man who becomes visibly phased by that comment loses the woman's attraction. The man who is not phased by it increases her attraction for him. An example of a response to the "was that a chat up line?" would be "yea my mam told me to say it?(slightly smiling)." The worst thing you can do is become defensive. If in doubt agree and exaggerate in your response. Never defend or explain yourself. An example of a response to " Do you say that to all the girls?" would be " Yea, you are the 54th girl I've said it to tonight?".

There are many different ways women will test you, she might make fun of you or tease your big nose for example, if your are unphased she becomes attracted. If a window of oppurtunity to escalate with the woman opens up and you do nothing she loses attraction. That's more of a subtle test.

When a woman begins testing you it's usually a sign she believes your value is slightly below her. When you pass you surpass her in relative value and attraction increases.

I thought I'd clear that up for everyone. It occurs very predictably when you come in being a bit cheeky or cocky.

I'm sorry but these are bloody ridiculous.

" Do you say that to all the girls?"
I'd be embarrassed for the girl if she said that to me, it's a line used in crappy 80's sitcoms.

"are you a player?"
I wouldn't be surprised if a lad got defensive if you asked him this it's a pretty offensive question. Imagine if you were asked if you were a slut or if you were easy. How is a defensive reaction supposed to equal guilt anyway? A relaxed reaction would show he is used to that question and if that suggests anything it's guilt not innocence.

I understand the need for "tests" but these are telling you nothing and are probably just going to give you false confidence in someone while maybe rejecting someone else based on nothing.

When I think of tests I think of asking questions that may reveal something about there ambitions and what they're actually like.

princess-lala

I agree with deco05ie, Im not into games or anything of the sort so if a man comes up to me and starts a conversation I will talk to him and be nice until or even if he seems to be weird or whatever.

BroomBurner

princess-lala wrote: »

I agree with deco05ie, Im not into games or anything of the sort so if a man comes up to me and starts a conversation I will talk to him and be nice until or even if he seems to be weird or whatever.

Agreed. The idea of some sort of "test" gives the impression of some calculating bint that thinks they're better than the person they are "testing".

princess-lala

BroomBurner wrote: »

Agreed. The idea of some sort of "test" gives the impression of some calculating bint that thinks they're better than the person they are "testing".

Im always thinking to myself "this person is too good for me" lack of self confidence on my part but I do know alot of girls who have the whole "test" thing going on

FruitLover

You've given me a good idea for a similar test for women: if I get the feeling a woman I'm talking to is trying to 'test' me, she's an immediate write-off.

mikom

Tests for men are much like "the rules"
From the country where 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

To be honest if you want to play games, get an X box.

Orla K

mikom wrote: »

Tests for men are much like "the rules"
From the country where 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

To be honest if you want to play games, get an X box.

Eh, what are "the rules"?

I've a feeling I know them but only have a vague idea of what they are.

mikom

Orla K wrote: »

Eh, what are "the rules"?

A book written by an accountant and a freelance journalist which teaches women how to play games and manipulate men.
The follow-up book "The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work" was released just before one of the authors filed for divorce.

Check it out if you are interested.
Like taking childcare tips from Josef Fritzl to be honest.

scanlas

Congruence tests which the OP is talking about are nothing like that book the rules. So don't mention that stuff it's off topic.

Most of the time women don't know they are congruece testing a man, she doesn't have it on her mind as something she must say when a guy acts a certain way.

Here's how it works, a guy approaches her, he seems to be confident, cocky or dominant, this often makes the woman feel a certain way which makes her want to challenge him, so she tries to "put him in his place". Don't be mistaken, the woman doesn't logically think about this usually. She simply feels a certain way. Like if a little kid came up to you and started talking to you like he was your boss it would make you feel a certain way and you would perhaps make fun of him or "put him in his place", but you don't logically think to yourself that you have a rule for how certain people can speak to you and others can't, it's subconscious. I'm probably not explaining this very well but I'm doing my best. There are certain people who you will accept commands from, but others you won't. It's often because of perceived value or status. Again you don't think about it logically, it just doesn't "feel right" when the lower value person gives you the directive, so you may challenge or not do it.

So any comments about how anyone who tests someone or plays games are stupid or whatever are null and void and make absolutely no sense to what the OP is talking about.

Congruence tests are instinctive responses!!!

Whether you like to admit it or not, if someone you feel ( I use the word feel instead of think on purpose) might be lower value acts higher value you often have an instinctive response to challenge them in some way. Again this is subconcious and emotional process, not logical. I kniow there will still be people who misinterpret this.

mikom

scanlas wrote: »

So don't mention that stuff it's off topic.

Whether you like to admit it or not, if someone you feel ( I use the word feel instead of think on purpose) might be lower value acts higher value you often have an instinctive response to challenge them in some way.

Would this be why you jumped into the backseat mod position?

Silverfish

Guys, if you want to discuss this from the male point of view, please feel free to use the Gentlemen's Club forum.

If you wish to have an argument, please take it to pm.


Thanks.

Orla K

scanlas wrote: »

Congruence tests which the OP is talking about are nothing like that book the rules. So don't mention that stuff it's off topic.

Most of the time women don't know they are congruece testing a man, she doesn't have it on her mind as something she must say when a guy acts a certain way.

Here's how it works, a guy approaches her, he seems to be confident, cocky or dominant, this often makes the woman feel a certain way which makes her want to challenge him, so she tries to "put him in his place". Don't be mistaken, the woman doesn't logically think about this usually. She simply feels a certain way. Like if a little kid came up to you and started talking to you like he was your boss it would make you feel a certain way and you would perhaps make fun of him or "put him in his place", but you don't logically think to yourself that you have a rule for how certain people can speak to you and others can't, it's subconscious. I'm probably not explaining this very well but I'm doing my best. There are certain people who you will accept commands from, but others you won't. It's often because of perceived value or status. Again you don't think about it logically, it just doesn't "feel right" when the lower value person gives you the directive, so you may challenge or not do it.

So any comments about how anyone who tests someone or plays games are stupid or whatever are null and void and make absolutely no sense to what the OP is talking about.

Congruence tests are instinctive responses!!!

Whether you like to admit it or not, if someone you feel ( I use the word feel instead of think on purpose) might be lower value acts higher value you often have an instinctive response to challenge them in some way. Again this is subconcious and emotional process, not logical. I kniow there will still be people who misinterpret this.

Alright, I'm guessing they did alot of studies on this and since your the only one here (so far anyway) that knows much about this do you have any decent links or anything else to them?. It's just from my own experience I don't remember doing anything like this, I do remember politely telling guys to not bother chat me up, I also remember doing it in a not so polite way (very often it was the same guys). Nomatter what there responce was I felt the same.

scanlas

Silverfish wrote: »

Guys, if you want to discuss this from the male point of view, please feel free to use the Gentlemen's Club forum.

If you wish to have an argument, please take it to pm.


Thanks.

I'd prefer to discuss the female point of view, and I don't want to argue either.

This congruence testing which the OP is dicussing is an evolved screening process for women. If a man gets upset over a woman teasing him about his receeding hairline, how can you expect him to provide for and protect his family through tough circumstances.

scanlas

Orla K wrote: »

Alright, I'm guessing they did alot of studies on this and since your the only one here (so far anyway) that knows much about this do you have any decent links or anything else to them?. It's just from my own experience I don't remember doing anything like this, I do remember politely telling guys to not bother chat me up, I also remember doing it in a not so polite way (very often it was the same guys). Nomatter what there responce was I felt the same.

You are doing it to me now, I detect a little sassiness in your post. No seriously, I don't have links to studies but you have done it, you just don't realise you are doing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way.

On another point the scientific community is years behind the study of attraction and it's causes. They send guys in to observe people in bars etc, interacting instead of actually testing their theories themselves, as a result they get cause and effect twisted. They think "mirroring" can cause attraction, mirroring is an effect of attraction not a cause. I was shocked by how stupid the scientific community is on attraction and as a result I am more sceptical in all areas of science.

Orla K

scanlas wrote: »

You are doing it to me now, I detect a little sassiness in your post. No seriously, I don't have links to studies but you have done it, you just don't realise you are doing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way.

Re-reading my post I havn't found any sassiness, I may be blunt(?there's probably a better word but I can't think of it) Also if I come across as annoied it's because I'm annoied at something else going on (in reality not internet and god it won't go away!)

Also, I'm just thinking how is asking for a link or more info on it, a congruence test? I just don't get it, it seems too loose that anything a woman says is one.

Warfi

It doesn't matter who you meet, you always test them (consciously or subconsciously) to find out what sort of person they are, and also to let them know what sort of person you are.

Women in nightclubs don't hold the rights to testing-everyone does it. I wouldn't test anyone to see if they're good enough for me, but I'd test them to see if we're compatible. And when I say test, I mean I ask them questions about themselves to see if we have the same interests, or if they have interesting views. Another way to put it is 'getting to know you'.

To be honest, if anyone thinks women are out to test them and try and catch them out, that says more about them and their self esteem than the women they're talking to.

scanlas

Orla K wrote: »

Re-reading my post I havn't found any sassiness, I may be blunt(?there's probably a better word but I can't think of it) Also if I come across as annoied it's because I'm annoied at something else going on (in reality not internet and god it won't go away!)

Also, I'm just thinking how is asking for a link or more info on it, a congruence test? I just don't get it, it seems too loose that anything a woman says is one.

I don't know if you did it there, I just thought it would be funny.

When women do these tests it's not outright insulting, it's more of challenging or teasing the way siblings would challenge and tease eachother. When women do it they like the guys at leat somewhat, they just feel the urge to challenge him in some way. A lot of the time a guy is so obvously a cool guy that there is no need to test him. When a guy is obvously a "loser" there is also no need to test him. It's when a woman isn't sure ( on a subconsious level) that the guy is cool or pretending to be cool that she tests him. Im not in any level of doubt about this.

Look at Cheryl Cole on the X factor, she is less likely to challenge Simon Cowell and "put him in his place" than Louis Walsh when Louis Walsh makes similar comments because Louis Walsh is lower status or lower perceived value.

The person in a group with the most social value or social influence (ie people listen when he/she talks) can say or do things that won't bother you. But when someone lower down the pecking order in terms of influence does and says the exact same things it bothers you, you get this instinctive feeling to challenge them and "put them in their place".

When a guy with ambiguous social value acts high value you feel the urge to get a little cheeky or sassy with him to see if it phases him.

DublinWriter

Girls - Look at how he treats his mum...that's a good indicator of how he'll treat you twenty years from now.
Guys - Look at her mum...that's a good indicator of how she'll look twenty years from now.

BroomBurner

It's one thing to do it subconsciously, which as Warfi said, every does it.

I think the problem lies when people ask very leading questions. Also, calling it a "test" implies (to me at least) that it is a set of prepared questions used to determine if someone is compatible. There is an element of manipulation there.

Wibbs

Yep I do think women test men. Men do too, but their tests are generally passed early on. Would I or wouldn't I or maybe? basically. If he says yes and the woman is anyway accommodating he'll plough on. Women also do the would I or wouldn't I or maybe too. They also tend to add in the is it worth my while if I would(if she's looking for something more concrete). Women have more to lose, pregnancy etc so it stands to reason.

The problem with applying this as any kind of rule as a lot of guys are starting to do is that.... well it simply isn't one. Life is far more complex than that. No matter how "cocky and funny' a guy is he'll only ever change the mind of a maybe 90% of the time. Forget about a "I wouldn't".

scanlas wrote: »

You are doing it to me now, I detect a little sassiness in your post. No seriously, I don't have links to studies but you have done it, you just don't realise you are doing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way.

Just because you hear hooves don't assume it's a zebra. It's a big problem with the attraction crowd IMHO. They've spotted something not so obvious and look for it and apply it to all situations. Very linear thinking. Not surprising as many of the men attracted to this notion would be overly linear thinkers by nature. The shy intelligent "geek" who never got women when he was younger. They're also the most vulnerable to the selling points of this stuff.

On another point the scientific community is years behind the study of attraction and it's causes.

Yes and no, though I would agree they haven't the large test group the PUA types have, though that's nearly entirely self reported.

They send guys in to observe people in bars etc, interacting instead of actually testing their theories themselves, as a result they get cause and effect twisted. They think "mirroring" can cause attraction, mirroring is an effect of attraction not a cause.

there's enough studies out there that show people respond to mirroring behaviours, even when they're on a screen. Chimps will even mirror humans. It's not all about sexual attraction. Sometimes it's a fear based response.

I was shocked by how stupid the scientific community is on attraction and as a result I am more sceptical in all areas of science.

I think the current cosmological model(dark matter, inflation etc) is a tub of poo. Doesn't mean I automatically think ill of say evolution. Makes no sense to do so.

Warfi

BroomBurner wrote: »

I think the problem lies when people ask very leading questions. Also, calling it a "test" implies (to me at least) that it is a set of prepared questions used to determine if someone is compatible. There is an element of manipulation there.

I think people who do this (male/female) haven't a clue what their boundaries are and so have devised 'a cunning plan' to figure them out!

MrMicra

scanlas wrote: »

You are doing it to me now, I detect a little sassiness in your post. No seriously, I don't have links to studies but you have done it, you just don't realise you are doing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of by the way.

Nice mind game. If she tested you then she must fancy you, so you put the idea into her head that she fancies you.

Your posts are a load of psychobabble rubbish.

Wibbs

PS

scanlas wrote:

So don't mention that stuff it's off topic.

If you have a problem with a post report it. It's in the charter of every forum here. So is a rule against back seat modding. It's very easy to find. Thanks.

Wibbs

PPS lets ease off the throttle here folks. If scanlas has a theory and it's on topic, then challenge it, debate it, don't just dismiss it as rubbish. Hardly a counter argument. Goes for anyones opinion.

scanlas

Wibbs wrote: »

PS If you have a problem with a post report it. It's in the charter of every forum here. So is a rule against back seat modding. It's very easy to find. Thanks.

Apologies.

scanlas

MrMicra wrote: »

Nice mind game. If she tested you then she must fancy you, so you put the idea into her head that she fancies you.

Your posts are a load of psychobabble rubbish.

It was more of a joke really...didn't really think too much about it.

Swizz

mikom wrote: »

Tests for men are much like "the rules"
From the country where 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

To be honest if you want to play games, get an X box.

If thats aimed at me im playing it right now. Im playing 4 - 0 up. Fifa 09 if ya must know!:cool:

scanlas

Hey swizz, where did you hear about **** tests?

ash23

I do it. Didn't realise until I read this thread

Depends on the guy but I do tend to challenge a guy when I'm talking to him. I tease them a bit. Guys do it to. I was with a guy who was a year below me in school and kept slagging me about being older than him even though he was actually older than me. I took it in jest instead of getting offended. Same guy was also very harsh about people he knew I had been with. Which put me off. A bit of gentle slagging, fair enough. Going all out and basically getting worked up over guys I kissed years ago.....well, thats just odd. I wont apologise for who I am which is what I felt he wanted. So I left and haven't seen him since.

I tend to challenge them more in terms of seeing if I can scare them off. Like how far I can push my flaws before they give up. I try to scare them off I guess in the hope that it will weed out the weak ones.

So I play the single parent card first off. I tell them about the little one pretty much straight up. Most don't mind.
Some will then ask about her dad and then I challenge them again and give a brief, yet humourous run down of the drama that was that relationship, usually self deprecating.
If they aren't running at that point I usually give them the "I'm so busy talk" which involves me explaining that I have a lot on, am rarely free and just don't have time for anything and that my famiy and friends are my main priority.

This is the point where they usually disappear

One part of me thinks I challenge too much and push too far too fast. Another thinks that I'm being honest and upfront with just a little bit of scaremongering


Either way, nobody has passed my test since my last boyfriend (the ex) and to be fair, as badly as it ended, he accepted a lot and sacrificed a lot to be with me and I guess I'm looking for that again.

minidazzler

ash23 wrote: »

I tend to challenge them more in terms of seeing if I can put them off. Like how far I can push my flaws before they give up. I try to scare them off I guess in the hope that it will weed out the weak ones.

I do that too, I will tell them my flaws so they have nothing to bring up afterwards and say they didn't know about!!!! I think it works a bit too well though:(

BumbleB

Here's a classic tests ,I've encountered this similar one many times ,most recently was about 6 weeks ago ,my friend was talking to a group of girls ,i stayed quiet then one of them started talking to me . After a while she asked was I from, and I told her the USA (true),she said I was lying pulled a fake huff and she went away to the wall away from her friends I could see her but I didn't react just started talking to her other friends didn't even look over at her and she came back straight away and we continued talking.

scanlas

I've often been making fun of a girl's mother to which she replies "my mother is dead" to which I reply "unlucky" and attraction shoots through the roof. It's never actually turned out that her mother was dead, they just say that to phase me, the response "unlucky" shows I'm unphased. I've even been told thats a great comeback by the girl as she continues giggling.

Nervous Wreck

I often get shít like "You're a bit full of yourself aren't ye?" to which I reply in exaggerated tones "Yep, you're soooooo nice to put up with me, I'm SO grateful!" Always gets a laugh and totally destroys their attempted put-down. Hah.

mikom

BumbleB wrote: »

After a while she asked was I from, and I told her the USA (true),she said I was lying puloled a fake huff and she went away to the wall away from her friends

Was she 12?

BumbleB

mikom wrote: »

Was she 12?

22 .

mikom

BumbleB wrote: »

22 .

Christ.

Orla K

scanlas wrote: »

I've often been making fun of a girl's mother to which she replies "my mother is dead" to which I reply "unlucky" and attraction shoots through the roof. It's never actually turned out that her mother was dead, they just say that to phase me, the response "unlucky" shows I'm unphased. I've even been told thats a great comeback by the girl as she continues giggling.

And what if one day it does turn out that she's really dead?

Actually, maybe other people would be different but if it was me depending on my mood I would either end up punching you or walking away and never liking you. (almost did the first one in work, I stopped the whole room everyone thought he was going to get clobbered but since it was work and one of the managers was standing beside me, I walked away but not before making the guy jump away from me, it wasn't a nice day and I never got on with him after that.)