Blonde moments

The Big Red Button

The other day, my female friend said to me, "Guess what? Mike* is having a baby!!!"

Without thinking, I replied, "Oh my god - is it yours!?"

I've had many, many, many more, but that's the most recent I can think of off the top of my head.

What about you?




*Name of boy she's been casually sleeping with has been changed!

Quality

Ha I have a few from my blonde friend..

We were getting ready for my friends wedding and my friend had ordered drink so she came into the room and said..

"Prosecco is coming!!"

And the other girl said

"Who is Prosecco"

I could fill this thread!

My first time ever going through a toll bridge on my own years ago was on the M1. I threw the coin and missed the basket I panicked and started looking in my bag for more cash eventually I found some and got it into the basket this time, the barrier went up and I went to drive the car didn't move, I couldn't understand why until I realised I had put the keys into my handbag!

another car one (I'm actually a good driver usually!)

I was driving up to my mobile on saturday and I tried to turn the car into the drive, the wheel had locked and I realised the engine had turned off, I have an automatic so couldn't have cut out, I was freaking out thinking I'd run out of petrol somehow but no. I had actually turned off the car before I made the turn

The Big Red Button

I can't tell you how many times I have driven somewhere and said, "sh1t, I think I left my car keys at home!"

chatterpillar

chatterpillar wrote: »

I can't tell you how many times I have driven somewhere and said, "sh1t, I think I left my car keys at home!"

I read in another thread once a post about a girl who had given her keys to the pump attendant to get petrol and then half way down the road (in her car) she said to her boyfriend "he never gave me back my keys" :pac:

Raze_them_all

chatterpillar wrote: »

I can't tell you how many times I have driven somewhere and said, "sh1t, I think I left my car keys at home!"

I came home the other day with the car keys.......but no car

rannerap

i was with my bf in amsterdam exploring and we got lost because i just keep saying go left,then after a few minutes he said youve taken us in a complete circle,i said how can you end up in a circle if you just keep turning left:(he still taunts me over it

bronte

Biggest one recently was flying from Dublin to London.
Early morning 6.15 flight...it should be noted that I don't actually wake up until 12 midday approx.
I had a fairly heavy suitcase with me and unsurprisingly the check in lady told me it was over the limit but that I could take out some stuff and put it in my hand luggage.
I automatically grabbed the heaviest thing in there, a bag of cosmetics worth about £300. Whacked the case back on the scales and everything was grand.

Off I head to security thinking I was great until I get called over and asked if I have any liquids in my hand luggage.
"No" says I nonchalantly as herself proceeds to pull out the fairly hefty bag of make up.
At that moment I wanted to disappear into the ground.
Luckily for me the lady was very sweet and probably took pity on this extremely blonde make up fan. She went through every product and let me through telling me to be careful next time. Thank you nice security lady.

God that was stupid!

heavyballs

I've had a couple of blonde moments,here is just a taste
Came out of the shop got into wrong car,couldn't figure out how car wouldn't start.
Put my hand out for the dart
Thanked the pass machine for the cash
Drove my car into the wrong driveway,key in door wouldn't turn ,couldn't figure out why(nw estate btw)
dropped my son off at school,helped him out of the back seat with his bag and hurling gear,waved him off and then preceded to get into the back seat of the car by mistake

Cows Go µ

The other day I was trying to pull out of a petrol station, it was pretty busy and a guy flashed his lights so I put my foot down to go. The car didn't move. I was really confused and the guy flashed again, thinking I hadn't seen him or something. Then I discovered I was pressing the place just to the right of the accelerator. I felt like an idiot.

I was in work one day, I work at the till most of the time and I could figure out why a book wasn't scanning. I discovered I had stolen the scanner from the next till up and one of the other girls, who was at the till was giving me a right funny look.

That's all I can think of, but there are plenty. I can be really silly

The Big Red Button

heavyballs wrote: »

Drove my car into the wrong driveway,key in door wouldn't turn ,couldn't figure out why(nw estate btw)

Oh yeah, I was staying with my aunt for a few days. I parked outside what I thought was her house (well, it was next door to her house, they both had the same horrible gold corsas in the driveway, and it was in one of those estates where all houses look the same!)

I walked right into the house, said hello to the neighbour (who I'd met the previous day, and presumed was just visiting) and sat down at the dinner table, before realising I was in the wrong house

Aisling(",)

sitting having lunch with a really good looking guy im repeating with and he opened a little white packet and put it on his chips.

me:omg why did you just put sugar onto your chips
thats soo weird
why did they give you sugar?
him:ehh its salt
it say so on the packet

im soo dizzy

Hellrazer

Heres my ginger moment

My grandfather died about a year back and I was told that the funeral removal was on at say 6.00pm and was told to sit at the front with the family as you do.

Got stuck in traffic and arrived at the church about 5.50.Parked the car,ran the distance into the church and sat down right at the front with the family.Looked around and realised that I didnt know anyone there.

Id arrived at the end of 5.30 removal and not the 6.00pm one.Worst part was I just stood there shaking peoples hands that I didnt even know.And then had to do the same half an hour later.

Im still slagged over that to this day.

heavyballs

heavyballs wrote: »

I've had a couple of blonde moments,here is just a taste
Came out of the shop got into wrong car,couldn't figure out how car wouldn't start.
Put my hand out for the dart
Thanked the pass machine for the cash
Drove my car into the wrong driveway,key in door wouldn't turn ,couldn't figure out why(nw estate btw)
dropped my son off at school,helped him out of the back seat with his bag and hurling gear,waved him off and then preceded to get into the back seat of the car by mistake

LOL. I've tried to open the wrong car before but never actually got into it ha!

I said sorry to a post box that I walked into.
Sent an email to my manager saying 'fancying going away for the weekend' - He had the same first name as my husband.
Said thanks instead of Amen for communion.
Put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard

I once ran out of petrol on my way to work. had no phone with me so had to hijack some poor woman for her mobile. My husband came and towed me to the garage. I've a heavier car so the rope kept breaking. I eventually got petrol and got to work - highly stressed. 5 O'Clock came and it was time to go home but I couldn't find my keys ANYWHERE. They were in my engine with the radio and lights turned on all day and the battery was gone - I had to get one of the lads to give me a jump start - the same guy who was still calling me a bimbo since the morning for running out of petrol

The Sweeper

Responded to a question badly.

The question was relating to a trendy bar in a complex I was considering renting in, on grand canal quay or whatever in Dublin - bar was called Oceans. There I was, looking out at the docks, and the guy says

"Have you seen Oceans?"

"Oh no, I've never been sailing."

What's worse is I didn't think he'd said "Have you seen oceans." I thought he'd said "Have you sea notions?"

Quality

I have often walked to the car park in work and spent ages looking for my car.

Then I realise that I walked to work.:o

blahblah06

One day myself and my partner were driving at the back of the airport and she said to me..

You see that plane over there why is it been pulled by an orange van?

Me: Stunned silence then laughter.

It was one of those TNT planes that are orange at the front and the rest was white.

http://www.airplane-pictures.net/images/uploaded-images/2009-4/25/43624.jpg

Ah and yes she was blond at the time.

missmatty

I do/say/think blonde stuff a lot and I'm not even blonde.

Was at mass yesterday. A neighbour of ours goes up on the altar to do the reading. I was like 'oh i didn't know X reads at mass' and nudged my granny cos she's my granny's home-help. Spent ages thinking 'oh she looks really well and reads very well, sounds quite posh..etc'. Spent ages complementing her to my whole family afterwards, and they were all looking at me. Wasn't her at all.

minidazzler

Deleted User wrote: »

I once ran out of petrol on my way to work. had no phone with me so had to hijack some poor woman for her mobile. My husband came and towed me to the garage. I've a heavier car so the rope kept breaking. I eventually got petrol and got to work - highly stressed. 5 O'Clock came and it was time to go home but I couldn't find my keys ANYWHERE. They were in my engine with the radio and lights turned on all day and the battery was gone - I had to get one of the lads to give me a jump start - the same guy who was still calling me a bimbo since the morning for running out of petrol

You definitely deserved to be called a Bimbo for that:D

Quality

We were walking into a bar with a friend of mine, She stopped and waved and said "see her I know her".. Then we copped on she was staring in a mirror and waving at herself...:o

We pissed ourselves!!

jellie

Quality wrote: »

We were walking into a bar with a friend of mine, She stopped and waved and said "see her I know her".. Then we copped on she was staring in a mirror and waving at herself...:o

We pissed ourselves!!

thats kinda beyond a blonde moment & heading for worrying :eek:

Novella

On the phone to my friend one night, we were talking about blind people and I came out with, "Can blind people cry?". Still haven't lived it down!

Nervous Wreck

On a date a few months ago, the girl says something about a blind person she once knew or something.

Me: "Oh yeah? Actually, I've always wanted to learn sign language."

Girl: "That wouldn't really help with a blind person...."


I went pretty red....

Morgase

Deleted User wrote: »

Put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard

I'm forever trying to put the teapot in the fridge, orange juice on my cereal etc. My latest one was taking the entire top off the bottle of vinegar and pouring it on my chips very vinegary chips.

That's deadly boring compared to some of the blonde moments here though, they're brilliant!

Beetlebum

I was around in my friend from works house one evening drinking wine and watching Forest Gump. She had never seen it before. When the movie ended she looked at me and said 'Oh my God, he was such an incredible man, why do people not talk about him more? Why is he never in the papers?

Eh..

Oh, she has black hair too!

Zadkiel

Walking home from work one evening. Chatting away to my missus,
tell her I have to go, I left my phone in work.....

" Eh you're talking to me on it you tit!" She slagged me for ages about that

gcgirl

PMSL:D

Deleted User wrote: »

I could fill this thread!

My first time ever going through a toll bridge on my own years ago was on the M1. I threw the coin and missed the basket I panicked and started looking in my bag for more cash eventually I found some and got it into the basket this time, the barrier went up and I went to drive the car didn't move, I couldn't understand why until I realised I had put the keys into my handbag!

another car one (I'm actually a good driver usually!)

I was driving up to my mobile on saturday and I tried to turn the car into the drive, the wheel had locked and I realised the engine had turned off, I have an automatic so couldn't have cut out, I was freaking out thinking I'd run out of petrol somehow but no. I had actually turned off the car before I made the turn

idontknowmyname

Oh where do I start- I am the ultimate blonde....

I was out with my boyfriend having a meal at an italian last week, he was having carbonara, I asked why was there a strawberry in his pasta, turns out it was a cherry tomato but with the cream slightly evaporated I thought it had little pits on it.....

A few years ago I slammed my car into a wall whilst parking it- I had shoes on I don't normally drive in, foot went flying off the brake onto the accelerator.....totally wrecked the front left hand side of it

same said car the following day.....tow guy parked the car in gear and I'd leave it in neutural, the drive is on a slope, I put the keys in and turned the car on to reverse it out, didn't even think to check the gears, without me even taking the handbrake off, it stuttered forward about a foot towards the front of the house, luckily the flower pot was there otherwise I would have gone into the house, my mam wasnt too happy about it!!! especially since I completely shattered her favourite flower pot!

xcarriex

Whilst working, i was making calls and decided id do some online shopping as i am staying in a hotel room with the oh on Friday and thought something sexy might be welcome i zoned out of the call and decided to discuss the lovely set id seen with the girl beside me,all the while the phone had gone to VM...that phone is ready to ring any second now and there will be a torrent of laughs haha!!

Also a few yrs back when Anchorman came out ( i hadnt heard about it) my then BF brought me too see it..i thought the title was Anchor-Man as in a man who works with anchors half way through it i was like is this not about boats he said he was afraid to sit to close in case my dizziness was contagious!!:D

Busi_Girl08

One time I was ringing my Dad to get something from the shop on his way home from work, and it went to his voicemail.

Me-"Hi Aoife, it's Dad"

Cue Mum in the other room cackling like a banshee and me going

I'm brunette, but I think I had some blonde highlights in at the time...

Twee.

Put the milk in the cereal press last week :rollseyes: Silly Billy!
My mate is my favourite for blonde moments. We were having lunch and she starts to wonder out loud the connection between Ciabatta and Chewbacca. I WISH I was joking. Guys at the table next to us couldn't contain the laughter.

Quality

Ah food ones...

Was in cruzzos with the other half a few years back we were ordering dessert, He placed his order the apple crumble with CHINA MAN Sauce.:o

It was suppossed to be cinnamon.... Oh how we laughed...

Vinta81

Pronounced Peugeot ( the car) like Purge-o today, oh the looks I got fml

Wacker

Busi_Girl08 wrote: »

One time I was ringing my Dad to get something from the shop on his way home from work, and it went to his voicemail.

Me-"Hi Aoife, it's Dad"

Cue Mum in the other room cackling like a banshee and me going

I'm brunette, but I think I had some blonde highlights in at the time...

Are blokes allowed post in this thread? I'll delete my post if not!

Anyway, I can relate to this one. I work in Hedge Funds, and I frequently have to phone a company called Sam Capital. It's happened so may times that they'll answer the phone with "Sam Capital, XXXX speaking" and I'll reliably reply with "Hi Sam, it's Michael". Thankfully they're nice guys and see the funny side.
Also, I've a very good memory for numbers, and I'll frequently recognize numbers in the Caller ID, even if the call is coming from New York or wherever. So many times I've tried to act slick and call the person by name while picking up the phone, only to end up saying "Hi Michael, it's XXX." The reaction to that is always unusual: they're impressed that I recognized their number, but convinced that I'm a total idiot for getting my own name wrong!

metaoblivia

When I was hired, I was informed that I had to water and take care of the company orchid, which sits in the viewing window of our library. It had been a gift from an important client and the company was very proud of it.
For a year and a half, I watered that orchid plant in my company's office once a week. 6 months ago, I realized it was a fake.

I haven't told anyone else, and so my co-workers continue to compliment me on how well it's doing and ask for tips on how to keep an orchid healthy year round.

Nervous Wreck

metaoblivia wrote: »

When I was hired, I was informed that I had to water and take care of the company orchid, which sits in the viewing window of our library. It had been a gift from an important client and the company was very proud of it.
For a year and a half, I watered that orchid plant in my company's office once a week. 6 months ago, I realized it was a fake.

I haven't told anyone else, and so my co-workers continue to compliment me on how well it's doing and ask for tips on how to keep an orchid healthy year round.

Haha, that's a great one. Have you considered, however, that everybody knew all along and they're 'complimenting' you as a joke?!

metaoblivia

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Haha, that's a great one. Have you considered, however, that everybody knew all along and they're 'complimenting' you as a joke?!

No, they would have told me long, long before. They love the pratfall and can't wait too long for it. And it's mainly guests who come in and compliment on it the most.

Little Acorn

I used to think that a rent boy, was actually a fella who collected rent from tenants.

Little Acorn

I also know of a girl,who on hearing that venus fly traps catch flies replied,

"but I thought plants were vegetarian"

I know that they can actually digest the flies etc., so could be called carnivorous,
I just found it funny,hearing a plant being described as a vegetarian.

Gauge

Yesterday I took the stairs from the office... we're on the top floor. I started playing with my ipod and scrolling through songs on my way down. Next thing I hit a dead end and I realised I'd passed the ground floor and walked an extra few flights down bringing me all the way to the basement car park.

I've thanked self service checkouts without thinking if I've been in a day-dreamy mood.

shreksaurus

Years ago when I was in school I poured milk into my glass at breakfast, and then orange juice into my cornflakes. Same day at dinner, I poured ketchup into my mug, and milk into my dinner.
Theres been many more silly moments down through the years.

Recently during a driving lesson, my driving instructor started asking rules of the road questions.

Him: what kind of users are not allowed on motorways?
Me: learner drivers,
Animals and pedestrians,
Vehicles under 50cc, slow moving vehices, theres 1 more - let me think. Dont tell me.

Few minutes later I'm still thinking so he gives me a clue. Something like: a road user that would travel on wheels that isn't a car, truck, bus.

Me: wheelchair users.

I never laughed so hard when he told me the answer.

Answer: cyclists

Vinta81

Vinta81 wrote: »

Pronounced Peugeot ( the car) like Purge-o today, oh the looks I got fml

That's how you're supposed to say it (well, more or less). I have no idea why Irish people insist on saying 'pyoo-jo'.

The Big Red Button

[quote=[Deleted User];62229623]That's how you're supposed to say it (well, more or less). I have no idea why Irish people insist on saying 'pyoo-jo'.[/quote]

No it is not. It's basically, "poo-jo", except not quite ... try here.

It is not pur-jo!!!

The Big Red Button

Oh I just thought of another one.

I used to think that battered sausages were sausages that the chef beat up with a hammer or something before cooking them. No, I am not sure why I thought he would do this.

The really embarrassing part - this wasn't when I was a kid. It was right up until about a year ago, when a friend of mine ordered them in a takeaway one day. He's never let me live it down!

FionaC

My mum tends to have blonde moments after a few glasses of wine...

Me. my Mum & Dad were in the car after a few drinks in the pub. My mum turns around and goes what date does New Years fall on this year the 31st is it? Oh god seriously.....ha ha think she got confused

Also her friend rang my mums mobile when she was at a picnic down in the middle of nowhere and my Mum asked her friend how did you know i was here. Think she got landlines and mobiles a bit confused.



I have blonde moments can't think of any now tho.

Snowie

I couldnt remember where i parked my car last night......
I walked around wicklow street for 40 minutes.... completly confuzzzeled then I had the intelgence to figure out I parked in on durys street....

babababoomb moggy

chatterpillar

chatterpillar wrote: »

No it is not. It's basically, "poo-jo", except not quite ... try here.

It is not pur-jo!!!

Erm....I have a degree in French and lived in Belgium for quite a while, so I know perfectly well how to pronounce it and your link is wrong. The pronunciation is definitely more similar to purge-o/pur-zho than pjoo-jo. Now, I have an English(ish) accent, so I don't pronounce the 'r' in purge, but that vowel sound is very close to the 'eu' in Peugeot. It is most definitely not an 'oo' sound, like most Irish people say (and it seems, many Americans).

http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question78822.html


So I don't think that poster was being blonde at all

Busi_Girl08

[quote=[Deleted User];62234555]Erm....I have a degree in French and lived in Belgium for quite a while, so I know perfectly well how to pronounce it and your link is wrong. The pronunciation is definitely more similar to purge-o/pur-zho than pjoo-jo. Now, I have an English(ish) accent, so I don't pronounce the 'r' in purge, but that vowel sound is very close to the 'eu' in Peugeot. It is most definitely not an 'oo' sound, like most Irish people say (and it seems, many Americans).

http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question78822.html


So I don't think that poster was being blonde at all [/quote]

Is it more of a "puh-jo" sound?

The Big Red Button

[quote=[Deleted User];62234555]Erm....I have a degree in French and lived in Belgium for quite a while, so I know perfectly well how to pronounce it and your link is wrong. The pronunciation is definitely more similar to purge-o/pur-zho than pjoo-jo. Now, I have an English(ish) accent, so I don't pronounce the 'r' in purge, but that vowel sound is very close to the 'eu' in Peugeot. It is most definitely not an 'oo' sound, like most Irish people say (and it seems, many Americans).

http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question78822.html


So I don't think that poster was being blonde at all [/quote]

But if you don't pronounce the "r" in purge, we probably pronounce it much the same! The point I was making is that some Irish people pronounce it "purr-jo", with a really strong "r" sound, and that's definitely not right.

I agree it's definitely not "poo-jo" either though.

It's kind of like ... "puh-zho" maybe? But not exactly that either!

Is it more of a "puh-jo" sound?

Sort of yeah.....it's hard to write exactly what it is, but when I pronounce 'purge', the vowel sound is exactly like the 'eu' in Peugeot. It's like 'purrr' (like a cat!), if you don't pronounce the R!

But if you don't pronounce the "r" in purge, we probably pronounce it much the same! The point I was making is that some Irish people pronounce it "purr-jo", with a really strong "r" sound, and that's definitely not right.

No, the R sound isn't right, but I think most Irish people pronounce the vowel as 'oo' and also insert a Y after the P so it's like 'pyoo', like a pew in a church. That just sounds so strange to me, but everyone seems to say it like that here!

Monkey61

In a supermarket with my girlfriend last year standing in front of the deli/meat counter.

Me- LIE-ver sausage. What the f*ck's a LIE-ver sausage?

Her - Eh, would that be a liver sausage perhaps...

Seriously though...who knew there was such a thing as a liver sausage anyway.

Also once driving through the Sandyford Industrial Estate with my mum, I saw a big digital counter outside AIB which read 17:35 with the seconds counting down beside that.

Me- God what's it counting down to? What's in 17 days time?

Mum- I think you'll find that it's 35 minutes past five.