Weird IM Conversation Openers

liah

Just got this one now.

andy says (15:00):
ok, for some reason im shítting a lot lately
``liah?! says (15:00):
well that's a lovely conversation starter

What are some utterly bizarre or TMI conversation openers you've come across.. or sent?

lucky-colm

what about starting with

is there any chance i could borrow you'r wife's undies for a day or two

or.....

was that you'r mother i seen on stage last night down the lap dancing club

or.....

when do you think you'r buddie will get fed up of you'r wife and start coming down the pub again, he was great at pool

minidazzler

I usually start anonymous ones on Omegle with something totally random like.....

ASL

or

What do you think about Obama and his first hundred days in Office.

or

Pikachu, Squirtle, Charmander or Bulbasaur, you can only pick one. Which is it?

Overheal

Uhm, Squirtle. Duh.

Worst starters involve Hi Hey Yo Hello and any variation thereof. At least "Im ****ting a lot lately" lets you know what they wanna talk about before you actually commit to the conversation by responding to "Hello"

Overheal

Overheal wrote: »

Uhm, Squirtle. Duh.

Worst starters involve Hi Hey Yo Hello and any variation thereof. At least "Im ****ting a lot lately" lets you know what they wanna talk about before you actually commit to the conversation by responding to "Hello"

Charmander.Squirtle was a batty boy.

Neamhshuntasach

What's this IM nonsense?

minidazzler

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

What's this IM nonsense?

Instant Messenger.

Windows Live Messenger
AIM
That sort of thing.

Wazdakka

I am required by law, and as part of my probation to tell you that I am a convicted sex offender.

ASL?
Then I normally paste in a ASCII Pedobear.

stepbar

"I'm watching you......"

Gone Drinking

liah wrote: »

andy says (15:00):
ok, for some reason im shítting a lot lately
``liah?! says (15:00):
well that's a lovely conversation starter

Jesus christ, can you keep anything to yourself?

Andy

liah

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Jesus christ, can you keep anything to yourself?

Andy

You're not the real Slim Shady!

Pimp Ninja

I put on my robe and my wizard hat !

brummytom

I normally start with "Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
or "Baaaaaaaaaaa" for one lad because he's welsh.

I hate people who start with 'hello' or 'hi'.. just eurgh

Insect Overlord

I'm 100% guilty of opening with "hi" or "hey".

I'm quite tempted to start a convo with "So, when are we gonna do it?" just to see if it works get a reaction...

<_<

>_>

brummytom

An File wrote: »

I'm 100% guilty of opening with "hi" or "hey".

I'm quite tempted to start a convo with "So, when are we gonna do it?" just to see if it works get a reaction...

<_<

>_>

Ohh, quite often I start a conversation with a girl with
"Aren't you meant to be working the streets at the moment?" :cool:

NedTermo

If they're female: "Hows your fanny for a lodger?"

If they're male: "Hows your aul one's fanny for a lodger?"

Im an English lecturer.

OK-Cancel-Apply

A friend's IM opener to me: "Wanker"

Wazdakka

How bout this one?

Midnight_EG

Best one I use is an emoticon, but you'd have to have my msn for me to show you

Midnight_EG

Well I just started a conversation like this, I thought it was funny

Kev says (20:37):
story
Nick....Jennifer says (20:38):
two men walk into a bar, one buys a drink and the other goes for a piss, he then comes back and orders a coke n jack daniels. They proceed to have a good night then go home and sleep.
Kev says (20:38):
...

Irish Trinity

brummytom wrote: »

Ohh, quite often I start a conversation with a girl with
"Aren't you meant to be working the streets at the moment?" :cool:

how far ya get with that line?

Wibbs

To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

I barely knew her. She was part of a circle of people I knew through an ex. Mate of hers too. And it turned out she was totally serious too and reckoned this would be a good opener.

I think even our learned friends in the mental health arena who would normally frown on such descriptions as unethical and inaccurate would diagnose "loooooooooooooper!".

TheZohanS

Wibbs wrote: »

To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

Did you sell?

minidazzler

Wibbs wrote: »

To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

I barely knew her. She was part of a circle of people I knew through an ex. Mate of hers too. And it turned out she was totally serious too and reckoned this would be a good opener.

I think even our learned friends in the mental health arena who would normally frown on such descriptions as unethical and inaccurate would diagnose "loooooooooooooper!".

An unethical person would have said "Sure I'll father your child" and then got some sort of non barrier male contraception.

Good thing you're not unethical.


What's her addy???:D

Wibbs

Naw no way. I like you too much mate.:D Did I emphasise Loooooooooooooooooooper!!!! The only non barrier method I would have used with that wan was penile amputation.

minidazzler

Wibbs wrote: »

Naw no way. I like you too much mate.:D Did I emphasise Loooooooooooooooooooper!!!! The only non barrier method I would have used with that wan was penile amputation.

So if I made fun of you I'd get it:D

I have experienced loopers, fun for a while, then just plain old get me outta here:D

TPD

Would generally start a conversation with one of the following:

Boss
Wols
San
Blun
Bleag

And a few more insults which are said in jest but may be deemed offensive by some of the meeker posters in AH so I won't bother.

TimTim

I usually open up with a "hey, you alive?"

Oddly enough nobody has said no to that question yet.

pikachucheeks

A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:

Rented Mule

pikachucheeks wrote: »

A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:

What did you do with the photos ?

Professey Chin

pikachucheeks wrote: »

A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:

Got what he wanted then moved on.Typical

jinxycat

One that happened recently

Guy : so this friend your looking for....are we talking friend with
benefits here??

Me : haha, nope afraid not!!!
just a chatting friend!!!

Guy : if you get desperate give me a shout if you want some action,
I live just down the road

:eek::eek::eek:

pikachucheeks

Rented Mule wrote: »

What did you do with the photos ?

I didn't take them in the first place, hence why he'd keep asking for photos! :mad:

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Got what he wanted then moved on.Typical

He got nothing! Which might explain why he got bored and we don't talk anymore.

I used to have a friend-of-a-friend as a contact on msn. He was a guy a friend of mine hooked up with casually, now and again.
He started a conversation with me one day, asking if I'd look at a photograph of a t-shirt he'd bought and give my opinion of it. I said "fair enough" and accepted the file.
Opened it up to discover it was a photo of his ... 'meat and two veg'
:eek:
I told him it was a crap t-shirt and he should bring it back for a refund!

minidazzler

jinxycat wrote: »

One that happened recenty>

Guy : so this friend your looking for....are we talking friend with
benefits here??

Me : haha, nope afraid not!!!
just a chatting friend!!!

Guy : if you get desperate give me a shout if you want some action,
I live just down the road

:eek::eek::eek:

That sounds fair enough TBH, No pressure, just an open invitation:D

Professey Chin

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I didn't take them in the first place, hence why he'd keep asking for photos! :mad:



He got nothing! Which might explain why he got bored and we don't talk anymore.

I used to have a friend-of-a-friend as a contact on msn. He was a guy a friend of mine hooked up with casually, now and again.
He started a conversation with me one day, asking if I'd look at a photograph of a t-shirt he'd bought and give my opinion of it. I said "fair enough" and accepted the file.
Opened it up to discover it was a photo of his ... 'meat and two veg'
:eek:
I told him it was a crap t-shirt and he should bring it back for a refund!

If you insist :pac:

minidazzler

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I didn't take them in the first place, hence why he'd keep asking for photos! :mad:

What Pika means by this is I am minding the photo's for her. To share I have to make sure the People I am giving them to are who they say they are.

So if you want the pics, send me your Bank Account details with your full name, Mothers Maiden name and a copy of your signature.

Make sure your Acc No. and your Sort code are enclosed.

You can send them to me through PM.



(Pika, go along with this and you get 10%):p

pikachucheeks

minidazzler wrote: »

(Pika, go along with this and you get 10%):p

Wow! 10% of the money should cover the costs I need to finally become a real woman!

Professey Chin

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Wow! 10% of the money should cover the costs I need to finally become a real woman!

Ohhhhh thats what that bump was...........:(

Will

I usually open with;

"story slut features?"

pikachucheeks

Will wrote: »

I usually open with;

"story slut features?"

I've noticed. I don't bother to fight anymore, I just reply!

Will

use it with many female friends, not just you pika

Professey Chin

Will wrote: »

use it with many female friends, not just you pika

man whore :pac:

Will

*facepalm*

as a term of endearment, nothing more

OK-Cancel-Apply

How about, "So I'm think about visiting that sandy-coloured planet today..."

brummytom

Irish Trinity wrote: »

how far ya get with that line?

Well I like winding up girls for lulz, so quite far in that sense.

Might have something to do with why I'm single

Professey Chin

brummytom wrote: »

Well I like winding up girls for lulz, so quite far in that sense.

Might have something to do with why I'm single

And this doesnt? :pac:

Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,065

Yes I realise im not much better

soccymonster

About an hour ago, some guy on omegale said ''hey, do you think black men are sexy?''

i just replied with alt + f4. :P

pikachucheeks

soccymonster wrote: »

About an hour ago, some guy on omegale said ''hey, do you think black men are sexy?''

i just replied with alt + f4. :P

What was your real answer?! :P

Professey Chin

pikachucheeks wrote: »

What was your real answer?! :P

ctrl + v

soccymonster

pikachucheeks wrote: »

What was your real answer?! :P

Theres always gonna be a wrong answer to that question. If i say no, im a racist, if i say yes...im lying .

Professey Chin

soccymonster wrote: »

Theres always gonna be a wrong answer to that question. If i say no, im a racist, if i say yes...im lying .

Racist :pac: