Faking It (thread II)

SeekUp

This time we're talking about the big O.

Have you ever faked it? Have you ever felt the need to fake it? Have you ever faked it and not been able to stop with that particular person? If you've never faked it, would you not fake it under any circumstances?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE

Please share!

Michellenman

Of course I have. I don't know a woman who hasn't.

Dudess

I haven't - what a load of hassle.

handzy

Ashamed to say i did, for 2 years with my ex. . He was such a nice guy. . I hadnt the heart to tell him he wasnt great in bed. I did try to teach him but he didnt like constructive criticism. . Love the thread OP, was wondering when someone would start it.

Kalashnikov_Kid

From my (guy's) perspective, it is very easy to tell a fakey. There are so many tell-signs...and if he falls for them, he's obviously not a good lover and wouldn't be worth the effort IMO.

SeekUp

handzy wrote: »

Ashamed to say i did, for 2 years with my ex. . He was such a nice guy. . I hadnt the heart to tell him he wasnt great in bed. I did try to teach him but he didnt like constructive criticism. . Love the thread OP, was wondering when someone would start it.

I was thinking about it ever since I saw the other one that OrlaK started!

I faked it during the first week or so of sex with my OH. I'd never experienced a proper orgasm before and was just going along for the ride, so to speak.

Then I found out what it actually felt like -- and I haven't faked it since.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always happen; but if it doesn't, it doesn't, and if it does, then everyone's a winner!

gcgirl

Whats the point in faking if they are crap your better off just showing them how to do it properly ! I never have faked it!!

handzy

Well i did try to show him but he just refused to learn. I was very young, maybe 17 or 18. . Thank god its not an issue anymore. Its very frustrating.

Galvasean

Faking it only makes him think he's doing a good job. He'll never learn that way.

I was once with someone who was rather obviously faking it. It was incredibly offputting so I had to stop during and tell her that it demeaned us both. Kind of ruined the mood unfortunately.

Wibbs

OK so far so good, so lets keep this clean and family viewing as it were:) or it gets moved to Sex and sexuality forum. Thanks.

jellie

if hes doing something he thinks youre enjoying hes going to keep doing it. if youre faking its only you thats losing out really.

if its not working its not working, i dont think its a big deal to say "thats not doing it for me" unless the guy has the ego of a mouse.

(edit: what size would a mouses ego be? hmm. verry verrry small?)

shellyboo

I have once or twice when the situation demanded - ie, a guy who'd usually be well capable of getting me off, determined to get me there, but it's just not happening for me, and he refuses to give up... then it's easier just to fake it. But literally maybe twice in my life I've had to do that.

But I'd never fake it with a new guy... they'll never learn that way!

nesbitt

I have faked it in so far that I'd be nearly there and my OH would be over doing it, and then and I would just get too sensitive IYKWIM. It can back fire though as he can then stop just short of getting you there on an on going basis very frustrating.

Mind you I can get off in different ways/levels of intensity, sometimes just slightly, and stages in between and sometime absolute Tsunami.

My OH seems bemused when its slightly and has joked along he lines of did I fake so guys know....

Novella

Oh, I got myself into a terrible mess with this one! I was with a guy and the first time we had sex he was trying everything to make it happen for me but it just wasn't. In fact, I was getting pretty bored. So I faked it 'cause he was really lovely and putting in so much effort and I didn't wanna say, "Listen, this isn't working, can we just go to sleep?!".

Ended up going out with him for two years, had one big O the second time but had to fake it every single time after that 'cause I just felt so bad for him and like it was all my fault.

Have learned my lesson though! Never fake it anymore. There's no point. If I can't say to the guy I'm with that whatever we're doing isn't doing it for me, then I just think he's the wrong person to be doing it with!!! If I can't be open about these things, I just won't do them anymore 'cause I won't enjoy it and I'm sure he'd be able to tell I was just wishing it was over.

bronte

Not a chance! I've been lucky so far. :) It just promotes bad habits really.
You'd be better coming clean and figuring out what works for both of you.

pikachucheeks

When I saw the first 'Faking It' thread, I knew it wouldn't be long before this one would be set up!


I've never faked it, don't see the point in it! If it's not happening, why lie and pretend it is?

I've pretended to be slightly more enthusiastic than I was, but other than that, I stick to the truth!

panda100

Kalashnikov_Kid wrote: »

From my (guy's) perspective, it is very easy to tell a fakey.

Im my experience most guys really don't know when your faking it. Why would they,unless you do a totally OTT Meg Ryan performance.

When I was younger I used to fake it a good few times. I guess I used to think that it was MY problem that I couldn't orgasm easily. Its something I've stopped doing as I got older as communication is the most important thing and If your faking it then how will he ever now what the right buttons are to press.

Novella

panda100 wrote: »

When I was younger I used to fake it a good few times. I guess I used to think that it was MY problem that I couldn't orgasm easily.

I always thought it was my problem too! I was fully convinced there was something wrong with me and so faked it a few times, more for me, than for him! When I realised I didn't need to fake it, that was a good time for me haha and now I never do anymore!

I think when you're younger, nobody is too sure of what they're doing and you might not know exactly what works for you and you're just too embarrassed to say, "Can you try X?" or whatever but it all comes with experience, excuse the pun!

sleepyescapade

I've never faked and wouldn't do a good job of faking either if I ever felt I had to.Too many tell-tale signs with the real thing that I don't think you can do a good job of faking.

rannerap

i never have and never will,its a bit pointkess imo,if anything ivr had to fake not having one sometimes:(

Orla K

I haven't if the guy isn't doing it for me I'll just tell him and if he still isn't doing it for me I'm likely to just stop.

Khannie

gcgirl wrote: »

Whats the point in faking if they are crap your better off just showing them how to do it properly ! I never have faked it!!

Maybe they're not crap?

I've faked it a few times in the past. Sometimes blokes (like girls) just get past it. I felt the person wouldn't take it too well. Better and easier than just banging away, easier than taking the hit of possibly upsetting them.

Edit: I'm past faking it now though tbh. If either myself or my wife aren't gonna get there for whatever reason we'll just be honest about it.

Wibbs

Khannie wrote: »

I've faked it a few times in the past. Sometimes blokes (like girls) just get past it.

Ditto

Khannie

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I've pretended to be slightly more enthusiastic than I was, but other than that, I stick to the truth!

Wait wait wait now....that wasn't with me, was it? :pac:

pikachucheeks

Khannie wrote: »

Wait wait wait now....that wasn't with me, was it? :pac:

Don't flatter yourself, matey!
And don't make me laugh when I'm operating phones! I nearly laughed down the phone at someone!
:pac:

Professey Chin

This thread has suddenly given me a very bad feeling about some past experiences

hornyfemale

Novella wrote: »

Oh, I got myself into a terrible mess with this one! I was with a guy and the first time we had sex he was trying everything to make it happen for me but it just wasn't. In fact, I was getting pretty bored. So I faked it 'cause he was really lovely and putting in so much effort and I didn't wanna say, "Listen, this isn't working, can we just go to sleep?!".

Ended up going out with him for two years, had one big O the second time but had to fake it every single time after that 'cause I just felt so bad for him and like it was all my fault.

Have learned my lesson though! Never fake it anymore. There's no point. If I can't say to the guy I'm with that whatever we're doing isn't doing it for me, then I just think he's the wrong person to be doing it with!!! If I can't be open about these things, I just won't do them anymore 'cause I won't enjoy it and I'm sure he'd be able to tell I was just wishing it was over.

I faked it the first couple of times with an ex a few years back. He just never hit the spot so to speak. Got so frustrated a couple of months into the relationship I actually said "Just leave it as it ain't happening & I'm tired". Needless to say the relationship didn't last long after that.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Don't fake it, we can usually tell and its just awkward, means we have to fake a reaction or accuse. Have never done the latter. For me its really not a big deal. I don't think it is for most guys to be honest/

Kalashnikov_Kid

panda100 wrote: »

Im my experience most guys really don't know when your faking it. Why would they,unless you do a totally OTT Meg Ryan performance.

Those guys are fools.

Ehm well let me see - there's the flushing of the base of the neck, a tendancy to dig nails in backs, contractions, a general sense of not being in control of mind or body. And of course more obvious reasons venturing further south (sorry if this is too much mods)

Gary ITR

I'd be more insulted that the girl felt she couldn't be honest and talk to me about it.

If I wasn't getting the girl off on a regular basis I'd want to know what to do differently and how to improve it for both of us. Satisfying my partner is the thing I enjoy about sex the most

stovelid

I used to live with a guy years ago whose girlfriend we reckoned was faking it. We used to rate her vocal performances out of ten.

There is the lingering jealous doubt that he may have just been the best lover that ever walked the earth or that they were making movies for distribution though.

Dudess

Some gals are just genuinely loud though...

But jeez, in a situation where other people can hear it, you just do what you can to keep it the **** down!

minidazzler

Onkle wrote: »

I'd be more insulted that the girl felt she couldn't be honest and talk to me about it.

If I wasn't getting the girl off on a regular basis I'd want to know what to do differently and how to improve it for both of us. Satisfying my partner is the thing I enjoy about sex the most

Never have truer words been spoken. I would be quite embarrased if I wasn't getting a girl off, but I would rather know so I can hope to improve.

Kalash, not all women are the same, orgasm reactions are not universal.

Corb

I've never not faked it I just can't climax through sex alone, it's never happened for me in any relationship. So with my boyfriend now I just fake it all the time. I still enjoy sex but I never "get there". I think it'd break his heart if he knew but it might hurt even more if he thought he couldn't make me climax. I don't think it'd happen for me with anyone.

Not overly bothered though, I still enjoy it.

Misticles

Im the same.. cant climax during sex. not many women can afaik. less than 50% anyways!

I dont fake it at all.. i really enjoy sex and I voice that hehe

I bout a top today that has on it im too honest to fake it

Cleopatra12

hmm, only ever faked once, when an ex said he was not going to stop till I arrived at the big O. It was not happening for me, is i had to fake, was wrecked and wanted to sleep and bless his puppy dog eyes, i could not disappoint him.

Normally, i never fake. If it aint happening I just tell, not necessarily cos of what he is doing wrong, its just one of those things.

Like most women i dont orgasm from sex, i just indulge self while he works away, and hey presto... happy days for the two of us!

SeekUp

Dudess wrote: »

Some gals are just genuinely loud though...

But jeez, in a situation where other people can hear it, you just do what you can to keep it the **** down!

A roommate of mine used to go at it . . . in our wee five room apartment. Her solution? She bought our other roommate, with whom she shared a wall, a fan.

Corb wrote: »

I've never not faked it I just can't climax through sex alone, it's never happened for me in any relationship. So with my boyfriend now I just fake it all the time. I still enjoy sex but I never "get there". I think it'd break his heart if he knew but it might hurt even more if he thought he couldn't make me climax. I don't think it'd happen for me with anyone.

Not overly bothered though, I still enjoy it.

Do the two of you ever engage in other activities in addition to sex (or whatever it is that makes you climax)? I mean, of course you still enjoy sex, but then you might not have to deal with any pressure or worrying about whether or not you'll get there, and whether or not he'll be disappointed.

I know that when I'm actively thinking about it the most, the chances of it happening are slim to nil!

midlandsmissus

Never have.

Even when I was young, and it was you know, more awkward to tell a guy what you want, I still never did.

Faking achieves nothing:
He enjoys himself, you don't, and you're telling him you like something you don't = worse sex.

rannerap

Misticles wrote: »

Im the same.. cant climax during sex. not many women can afaik. less than 50% anyways!

I dont fake it at all.. i really enjoy sex and I voice that hehe

I bout a top today that has on it im too honest to fake it

wow thats a shockingly low statistic:eek:ive never not had one during sex,a lot of the time i have problems lasting!im like a teenage boy:(

mSe265

Corb wrote: »

I've never not faked it I just can't climax through sex alone, it's never happened for me in any relationship. So with my boyfriend now I just fake it all the time. I still enjoy sex but I never "get there". I think it'd break his heart if he knew but it might hurt even more if he thought he couldn't make me climax. I don't think it'd happen for me with anyone.

Not overly bothered though, I still enjoy it.

I'm the same, and I admit it's a huge relief to read that I'm not alone, because I feel so guilty sometimes because I know my boyfriend can't help but feel bad. He said once he feels like a selfish lover, even though I sincerely enjoy sex with him. But we're kinda working on it, trying new things, and it's certainly not a deal breaker for me- I absolutely adore him.

Khannie

Onkle wrote: »

Satisfying my partner is the thing I enjoy about sex the most

I call shenanigans!

rannerap

Misticles wrote: »

SNIP

it can vary i guess,sometimes it can be very intense if its good sex,other times its just the same as being by yourself,im a bit odd though,i cant get anything from a guy doing anything else,just sex

Misticles

Sarannewrap wrote: »

it can vary i guess,sometimes it can be very intense if its good sex,other times its just the same as being by yourself,im a bit odd though,i cant get anything from a guy doing anything else,just sex

I can only get it one way

Im nt bothered that I cant get it from sex, cant miss what ya never had and all that!

guess im curious more than anything

Gary ITR

Khannie wrote: »

I call shenanigans!

Funny that, the girls usually call my name

Wibbs

OK as I said before, lets keep this as family friendly as possible or it gets closed.

Nervous Wreck

I was with my last gf for a year. During that time, she didn't reach her goal a total of 3 times. I didn't reach my goal twice. No faking necessary though. Those stats were good enough that those 3 times, she was able to say "It's not happenin for me tonight babe" and I was able to say "Well then next time, I'll make it really special." Faking gets no one anywhere. Honesty leads to improvement.

SeekUp

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I was with my last gf for a year. During that time, she didn't reach her goal a total of 3 times. I didn't reach my goal twice. No faking necessary though. Those stats were good enough that those 3 times, she was able to say "It's not happenin for me tonight babe" and I was able to say "Well then next time, I'll make it really special." Faking gets no one anywhere. Honesty leads to improvement.

Awwwwwwww.

hippiechickie

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stovelid

hippiechickie wrote: »

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This is what I was referring to in my other post.

Not so much vocal enjoyment as OH MY GOD BIG BOY stuff.

shellyboo

hippiechickie wrote: »

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"Comes" naturally to me...

Puntastic! :pac:

hippiechickie

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