Losing to my inferiors

SLUSK

For a long time I have lost the battle of various women's affection to lesser men, they are inferior to me in almost every single way. Shorter, lower standing in society and so on. I am willing to accept defeat to men who are better than me, but when you go after a girl and she chooses to date a welfare looser instead that sucks.

star-pants

Sometimes you just don't click with someone, and you can't help that.
Them being lower socially or on welfare doesn't come into the equation. And personally I'd take offence to that.

SarahSassy

Maybe these guys are not obnoxious, judgemental and arrogant - would that be the reason the girls dont like you, d'ya think???

Show_me_Safety

maybe she thinks you and your ego are happy together and doesn't want to be the third wheel!

What makes you think you are superior to there men?

Piglet85

To be honest, I think you may have just answered your own question. Your attitude would put me off completely. You are not better than any of those guys, even if they are short, unemployed, etc. Those are not the things that are important in a good relationship. I would rather a broke, plain looking man with a bit of humility to a rich, good-looking guy with a superiority complex any day. I'm not being smart, but if you give away even the tiniest hint of that attitude, than I for one would find it extremely unattractive.

SLUSK

Show_me_Safety wrote: »

maybe she thinks you and your ego are happy together and doesn't want to be the third wheel!

What makes you think you are superior to there men?

I am smarter than them, taller than them, done more stuff with my life like backpacking around the world, lived in different countries for almost four years. I am more well spoken than them(I am talking about my mother tounge here which is not English)

Other than that I have better salaries and more assets than these men. I am aware that in matters of love, logic and reason gets thrown overboard.

Bottle_of_Smoke

SLUSK wrote: »

I am smarter than them, taller than them, done more stuff with my life like backpacking around the world, lived in different countries for almost four years. I am more well spoken than them(I am talking about my mother tounge here which is not English)

Other than that I have better salaries and more assets than these men. I am aware that in matters of love, logic and reason gets thrown overboard.

~How's your self confidence/esteem? Are you good looking/in good shape? Women may like a guy to have wealth sure but its not usually enough on its own

PK2008

SLUSK wrote: »

For a long time I have lost the battle of various women's affection to lesser men, they are inferior to me in almost every single way. Shorter, lower standing in society and so on. I am willing to accept defeat to men who are better than me, but when you go after a girl and she chooses to date a welfare looser instead that sucks.

This has to be a joke, but if it isnt then you have problems that go way beyond women, my friend.

Google the word Narcissism

StormWarrior

SLUSK wrote: »

I am smarter than them, taller than them, done more stuff with my life like backpacking around the world, lived in different countries for almost four years. I am more well spoken than them(I am talking about my mother tounge here which is not English)

Other than that I have better salaries and more assets than these men. I am aware that in matters of love, logic and reason gets thrown overboard.

So what if you have lived abroad and have more money than them? Most women are not prostitutes looking to date the man with the most cash. Most women are looking to have a relationship with someone, which means they want someone with a good personality, which you don't seem to have. You sound completely arrogant and obnoxious which I would also find a total turn-off. If you want someone to be with you because they like you for your money, then get a Thai bride.

PirateShampoo

SLUSK wrote: »

I am smarter than them, taller than them, done more stuff with my life like backpacking around the world, lived in different countries for almost four years. I am more well spoken than them(I am talking about my mother tounge here which is not English)

Other than that I have better salaries and more assets than these men. I am aware that in matters of love, logic and reason gets thrown overboard.

Thats your perception, another perception is that your head is so far up your own arse and cannot see the forest for the tree's.

SLUSK

I am not hot, but I was not hit with the ugly stick either. My self confidence is not super high but it is not super bad either.

Show_me_Safety

i bet they.re more humble than you are...

SLUSK

Show_me_Safety wrote: »

i bet they.re more humble than you are...

No they are quite loud, drunk and sleazy.

star-pants

Agreed, OP you view yourself as well above the rest, whilst it's good to have a certain level of self confidence, there's a fine line between that and thinking you're *better* than anyone who's not like you.

I've met guys who are sleazy/drunk, and I've met guys who think they're the only one you should ever want... I like neither

SLUSK

star-pants wrote: »

Agreed, OP you view yourself as well above the rest, whilst it's good to have a certain level of self confidence, there's a fine line between that and thinking you're *better* than anyone who's not like you.

I've met guys who are sleazy/drunk, and I've met guys who think they're the only one you should ever want... I like neither

I am not saying I'm the only one a woman should ever want, I do not have any problems what so ever losing to superior men, but I hate losing to my inferiors.

star-pants

SLUSK wrote: »

I am not saying I'm the only one a woman should ever want, I do not have any problems what so ever losing to superior men, but I hate losing to my inferiors.

The thing is, *you* feel they're inferior... obviously the girl doesn't feel that way. They might be superior in other ways, or they might just be exactly right the way they are.

If a guy I like goes for a girl who's perhaps not pretty or something (I don't believe that exactly but for example) I might look at myself and go 'huh, what's wrong with me', but then I also think 'well she must have something I don't have, or has the right balance of something that attracts him'. Doesn't mean she's any lesser or better than me, just means she's the right match for him

Piglet85

You're getting a lot of good advice here, and you seem to be ignoring it. Who are you to decide whether one man is better/worse than another? Stop being so judgmental about others and acting superior and perhaps you'll have more luck with the ladies.

marlie2005

Oh Please !!! Get off the power trip... If you come across like this on a forum I have a vague idea why this girl may not like you..
U may well be better paid, taller, more attractive and 'superior' than this other human but just because he is unemployed and shorter than you doesn't mean he is dumb with nothing to say for himself.. maybe he is entertaining and kind?. Gods knows what good traits he may have that you don't.

SarahSassy

"In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. "
Paul McCartney

Maybe because you are putting out your sense of superiority, people feel its ok to dump you for people they feel are superior to you...

Otis Driftwood

To be fair OP you are coming across as being very self centered and arrogant - I have this,Ive been there,Ive done that

Good for you,but for the vast majority of people,arrogance is a massive turn off and for alot,its a deal breaker.

You think you are better than someone because you earn more money,or are taller,Jesus gimme a break will ya.

Try and learn a bit of humility,women that are impressed by flashy wide boy charectors are in the minority,and by the tone of your posts,thats how you sound.

Im not having a go at you,confidence is good,but over confidence bordering on a God complex isnt.

Best of luck to you.

NickNolte

OP - your jaw-dropping arrogance, pathetic superiority complex, obnoxiousness and narcisscistic leanings pretty much make you inferior to most other men. Stay single forever lest you destroy some poor girls life.

winking weber

The reason you are losing is because these women think you're 'inferior' in some way to use your own terminology. Success and being well-travelled only form part of what makes a person attractive, social skills and personality count too.

Eve_Dublin

Slusk I'm not even sure if your serious or not but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You're constantly on Boards complaining about this country and about its citizens and to be honest, you seem miserable in this country. You're from Sweden, you're well travelled and educated so I'm presuming you're from a reasonably comfortable background....can I ask you why you're still here? You always make it out like you're here under duress. I'm not suggesting you leave, but the fact that you seem utterly miserable in this country HAS to be apparent to the women you're meeting...and it can't be good for your mental health. If you were happier in your circumstances or at least try and change your attitude to them, maybe you might have more luck. Happy, confident people who are comfortable in their own skin are attractive to the opposite sex. Complaining, arrogant, moaning men do nothing for any of us, believe me.

Change your attitude and you might have just a bit more luck.

SLUSK

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Slusk I'm not even sure if your serious or not but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You're constantly on Boards complaining about this country and about its citizens and to be honest, you seem miserable in this country. You're from Sweden, you're well travelled and educated so I'm presuming you're from a reasonably comfortable background....can I ask you why you're still here? You always make it out like you're here under duress. I'm not suggesting you leave, but the fact that you seem utterly miserable in this country HAS to be apparent to the women you're meeting...and it can't be good for your mental health. If you were happier in your circumstances or at least try and change your attitude to them, maybe you might have more luck. Happy, confident people who are comfortable in their own skin are attractive to the opposite sex. Complaining, arrogant, moaning men do nothing for any of us, believe me.

Change your attitude and you might have just a bit more luck.

I don't like this country or any other county, I don't like my country of birth.

NickNolte

You sound like a fairly unlikeable person to be honest. Maybe that's why women don't like you. You should loosen up a bit. Learn how to enjoy life and respect other people... whether you consider them 'inferior' or not. Try and find a little happiness in your life and maybe someone might want to share it with you. Continue to be miserable and conceited and no woman will want to go anywhere near you.

Firetrap

As a woman, I can tell you straight away that men who love themselves are a big turn-off. Perhaps you might take a closer look at yourself and the way you behave. That could be scaring women off and driving them into the arms of these inferior men :rolleyes:

iguana

SLUSK wrote: »

I don't like this country or any other county, I don't like my country of birth.

Sorry OP, having a relationship with someone is about sharing your life with them. You sound like you'd be really difficult to spend an evening with, nevermind a short or long term relationship. Negativity is a seriously unattractive quality.

kjl

well, I'm better looking then you describe yourself, 6f5, no fat perfect body, I have a good job, a great house.

I have no problems with women being into lesser men as you put it, maybe you need to really give yourself an attitude readjustment then give it another go

Orla K

I took a glance over some of your other posts (hope you don't mind) but it seems to me that you need more help than what anyone here can offer you. It will do you the world of good and you'll be much happier and maybe even stay in a place for more than two years and still be happy.

SLUSK

Orla K wrote: »

I took a glance over some of your other posts (hope you don't mind) but it seems to me that you need more help than what anyone here can offer you. It will do you the world of good and you'll be much happier and maybe even stay in a place for more than two years and still be happy.

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

AMK

Maybe these men have qualities women value which you don't have. You are making assumptions about the values women hold and seem to be saying you are a better catch than these other guys. But most women aren't that hung up on money, especially if they can support themselves. Just being a nice guy, having a sense of humour, being able to be yourself with him - these things matter much more than social status to most women. Anyhow, how do you know these guys are your 'inferiors'. A guy could be on the dole but be writing a super book, or educating himself or working for the community. Or he could be on the dole and it simply doesn't matter to the woman in his life because they like HIM, not what he does or what he has or where he has been.

I find it weird that you consider some men to be inferior to you because they are not as tall as you. And this 'lower standing in society'. Really. You're not Mr Darcy.

Incidentally, gaining the love of a woman shouldn't be a battle.

Orla K

SLUSK wrote: »

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

Everybody needs some form of help, sadly I don't think the help that you need can be got from the internet. As for being mentally ill, I'm not even sure what is and what isn't also let me re-assure you if your mentally ill then I am too.

entropi

SLUSK wrote: »

I am smarter than them, taller than them, done more stuff with my life like backpacking around the world, lived in different countries for almost four years. I am more well spoken than them(I am talking about my mother tounge here which is not English)

Other than that I have better salaries and more assets than these men.

First of all man, ignore ALL of this...

I am aware that in matters of love, logic and reason gets thrown overboard.

And start to become greatly aware of this...

Eve_Dublin

SLUSK wrote: »

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

I wouldn't say you are mentally ill but I would agree with OrlaK....I don't think you're going to get the help you need on this forum. You sound like you hate your life. You sound miserable Slusk. Every post you put up here relates to a negative aspect of your circumstances but you take no one's advice on board. Ever. You say you hate your own country of birth but yet you bad mouth Ireland all the time and you mentioned before that if you could leave, you would. Well you can. You're free to do that. If it's your job that's keeping you here, then that's no reason to endure misery. Money shouldn't be a factor that entices you to sacrifice your happiness. It's very simple Slusk: if you're not happy, you have to make changes and it seems to me that your either going to have to change your circumstances (move city, move country etc.) or change your attitude to your circumstances. Are you actually going to take the advice given to you on board here or what? I know myself that it's not easy to admit your faults and to try and change them. You say you hate every country...in fairness, what kind of stupid comment is that? How can you expect anyone to help you after you say something like that?

If you think you can find all the answers to your problems here on Boards, and the very fact that you keep posting provocative comments up here (that I'm going to presume are serious...you meet all types, I suppose) suggest you do, then you have to be open to hearing thing you don't want to hear (I know how hard that is) and be open to any suggestion of change people make...if not, then we can't help you and yeah, I would recommend you go and see a professional. It boils down to whether you want to remain the way you are i.e. p*ssed off with everything and everyone or do you want to be happier? Read through some of the posts here and get a bit of perspective...you're luckier than most Slusk.

Bolibompa

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Slusk I'm not even sure if your serious or not but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You're constantly on Boards complaining about this country and about its citizens and to be honest, you seem miserable in this country. You're from Sweden, you're well travelled and educated so I'm presuming you're from a reasonably comfortable background....can I ask you why you're still here? You always make it out like you're here under duress. I'm not suggesting you leave, but the fact that you seem utterly miserable in this country HAS to be apparent to the women you're meeting...and it can't be good for your mental health. If you were happier in your circumstances or at least try and change your attitude to them, maybe you might have more luck. Happy, confident people who are comfortable in their own skin are attractive to the opposite sex. Complaining, arrogant, moaning men do nothing for any of us, believe me.

Change your attitude and you might have just a bit more luck.

I was going to say exactly this. I have been reading boards since 2003 and slusk was the reason I finally decided to post... Been reading far too many of his posts and it's embarrassing. Long rant acoming.

I’m Swedish too, been living here over 5 years. Yes, Sweden has better insulated houses, better social care, free education, public transport is second to none, we recycle, we eat healthier, live "greener", men are taller and women fitter, we have no knackers and our summers are warmer and dryer.

Still I prefer it here. I accept the differences and adapt to them. I don’t complain. I’d develop an ulcer if I did. My friends always say I’m stupid for staying, and specially now but moving home just isn’t an option.

I feel at home here. People are more relaxed, wouldn't consider voting for a communist party, immigrants aren't segregated and put up in suburbs, it's ok to wear the same jeans for two days and they don’t have to be Acne either. People still like you even if you can’t dance. I like tea.

I have a theory that because there really isn’t much to improve about the standard of living in Sweden, people start to care about the superficial stuff... a little bit too much. Trying to be perfect is no craic.

I’m guessing you have a well paid job here and that’s why you’re staying. Same job in Sweden would probably only pay half as much. But you should go home if the Irish way of living is getting to you so much it’s become a personal issue for you. It’s quite a burden to have any society’s problems as your own personal concerns.

I don’t know if you are just on here to provoke or if you are just generally a moany person. When you come on here and ask questions about Irish customs and culture in an aggressive and patronising manner; what are you getting at?

Relax a bit, be more humble, do some volunteering with barnardos, open up your mind a bit and try and appreciate what you’ve got. Be more easy-going. I’ll stop before I sound like the sunscreen song..

I doubt you will get my point.

One man can come across as sleazy for one girl and charming for another. Why would you even want a girl that would according to you, chose a sleazy guy by the way?

Would I be right in thinking that you also think all girls like gifts and to be treated like a princess? If I’m wrong then why do you even think that your income matters?

You seem uptight and with no sense of humour. I might be wrong and you can genuinely be questioning all the errors (subjective) of Irish living. If that’s the case I suggest you read more books to gain a greater understanding of other cultures and how they developed.

You say you’re smart. You don’t seem smart. You might be a mathematical genius but if you have no cop on it doesn’t matter.

Girls like confident and happy men. Are you happy? <---- happy?

LegacyUser

i'm sorry but you seem really weird..... if you really don't know why girls don't like you then you should review your attitude. i would much rather be with a nice unemployed guy who is a little short than be with someone as rude and arrogant as you. you need to get off your high horse and realise that not everyone may think you are as fantastic as you seem to think you are - how dare you say people are inferior to you. you need to get a life - i hope no poor girl falls for your "charms".
sorry to be harsh but you have got be kidding with your comments!!

Jo King

o/p, You do not drive a car or own a house. You are automatically going to lose most women before you start. If you tell them about your salary and the 40k in the bank they are going to thing you are a tight weirdo. If you do not tell them they are going to think you are a poor weirdo. You can't win. So don't try.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

mood

SLUSK wrote: »

I am not saying I'm the only one a woman should ever want, I do not have any problems what so ever losing to superior men, but I hate losing to my inferiors.

Well, maybe girls consider a caring, honest, guy who is good fun etc superior to a guy who has such a shallow out look.

So what if you earn more, own a house, and speak fluent Irish. You cannot base a relationship on these things.

mood

Jo King wrote: »

o/p, You do not drive a car or own a house. You are automatically going to lose most women before you start. If you tell them about your salary and the 40k in the bank they are going to thing you are a tight weirdo. If you do not tell them they are going to think you are a poor weirdo. You can't win. So don't try.

I think this is rubbish. I wouldn't choose to go out with a guy based on the fact he has or has not a house and the same goes for driving and savings. Personality is what is important.

Bolibompa

Also forgot to ask if "jantelagen" means nothing to you? Are you sure you are Swedish?

SLUSK

Bolibompa wrote: »

Also forgot to ask if "jantelagen" means nothing to you? Are you sure you are Swedish?

I do not believe in socialism.

Bolibompa

SLUSK wrote: »

I do not believe in socialism.

you missed the point completely

SLUSK

Yes how dare do I consider myself better than that lowlife drug addict on the street corner, no one is better than anyone else, so therefore I am no better than a common thief. Is that the general consensus around here?

LegacyUser

SLUSK wrote: »

Yes how dare do I consider myself better than that lowlife drug addict on the street corner, no one is better than anyone else, so therefore I am no better than a common thief. Is that the general consensus around here?

at the end of the day we are all just people. Money, cars, houses, they are just things. Does your job make you happy? Does it tell you it loves you??? Yes your lucky you have a good job but so what? What about the person that went to college, was working for years and lost their job, they are now on the dole. Do you consider them inferior to you just because your working at this moment? That could be you next week mate with this recession so I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. As for the 'low life drug addict on the corner', do you know anything about him? Maybe he had such a bad life this is his only way to cope. You don't know him and its a bit rude of you to gereralise things. A bit naive and ignorant in my opinion. OP you should look outside the box and realise there is more to life than money and things. Maybe then you might find a girl that you will be happy with.

Bolibompa

SLUSK wrote: »

Yes how dare do I consider myself better than that lowlife drug addict on the street corner, no one is better than anyone else, so therefore I am no better than a common thief. Is that the general consensus around here?

haha, you have to admit though, if you're losing out to the homeless junkies you must be doing something wrong!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

entropi

SLUSK wrote: »

Yes how dare do I consider myself better than that lowlife drug addict on the street corner, no one is better than anyone else, so therefore I am no better than a common thief. Is that the general consensus around here?

Actually the general consensus for the last 2pages is that it DOES NOT MATTER where a person is from, what their financial or health status is, or what they do/dont do for a living...People respond to immaterial things like a certain bodily feature, personality type or even just a gut feeling that someone is good for you.

Your above quote

"no one is better than anyone else"

said it all really, you can spell it out here for us on a screen, but until it really hits home with you that most people dont care what your salary or height is, you will never take on board the advice myself and many many others have been trying to give you and failing thus far.

The answer to hundreds of threads here in P.I. about how to be more attractive to someone, is that confidence is the key. Arrogance and hatred does only one thing, pushes people away.

star-pants

SLUSK wrote: »

Yes how dare do I consider myself better than that lowlife drug addict on the street corner, no one is better than anyone else, so therefore I am no better than a common thief. Is that the general consensus around here?

Hardly...

I am no stunner, I don't have a specific career, I was out of work for over 9 months (due to downturn) - so should a guy turn me down based purely on that? No. Infact I was dating someone who had no issue with me being out of work /unsure of my future career.

You seem to think that because you have all of these things you should win over anyone, but it's not a case of 'winning'. It's a case of matching with someone, and maybe you're not the match, but the next guy (who may or may not be as good looking/talented/experienced as you) might be the match. If you've ever been in love you'll know you don't choose who you fall in love with, it happens, good bad or indifferent. You love someone for who they are, not what they do. It's not like applying for a job and your CV wins you the date. Your CV isn't your personality, it isn't who you are inside.

UnderpantsGnome

SLUSK in a different part of Boards.ie wrote:

At what point is it proven dangerous to be fat? If someone else is fat it is none of your business. Leave us fatties to our hedonistic ways of living.

O.P.

Sounds like you're not entirely 100% perfect Slusk. Not that being overweight should prevent anyone from finding love, but it's odd to consider yourself such a superior being and yet leave this out. Seems like you purposely omitted part of the story.

I wouldn't even bring it up if you hadn't first brought physical appearences into the foray by mentioning that you are taller than your percieved inferiors. Odd that you avoided mentioning a weight problem.

NickNolte

Unfortunately for the OP (and thankfully for the rest of us bald, fat brunettes) the eugenics programme died along with Josef Mengele and the rest of the Nazis.