BF going through my phone

dblennon

Firstly IMO the cheating theory is the most unlikely situation.

I had a situation recently almost exactly like the one you described.

up early, short on time, needed a dump, wanted to check emails/ confirm time of flight. GF in bed grabbed her Iphone to check these items as mine was in the Kitchen.

Realised as I was comming out of the bathroom, that taking her phone like that was pretty stupid so I half hid it and dropped it back where it was.

She still ate me at the time, but more for taking her phone into the Jax than anything else.

almost certainly what happened.

Firetrap

Lots of theories... OP if you want an answer to it, you're going to have to ask him. It's odd behaviour.

castle

I trust my bf 100% and I am certain that he is not cheating. I wouldn't dream of going through his phone to check up on him(not that he'd have any problem with me doing anything with his phone, I often play with it in front of him) and I don't think that is very good advice. That is a very unhelpful and unfounded speculation you are making. And yes it is definitely a business trip, it's a meeting with potential clients that I set up.[/QUOTE]

If you read my post, I never said he was cheating but it was just a theory.
I know a few people who said through the years I trust my OH 100% never a reason not to trust them, and guess what they where wrong.I always remember a guy saying to me years ago, unless you are with someone 100% of the time then you can ever be 100% sure.
People have been married over 40 years and only find out after their OH's death that they actually lived double lives etc, google it.
We all like to think our OH is 100% and maybe yours is and I hope he is.
But if my OH went through my phone when they thought I was asleep I would think it was odd and if you are happy to ignore the fact then that is up to you.
But I am open minded as to many people in this world cheat.
What makes one person so much better that they would not cheat given the chance,
But you should bring it up asap don't walk on egg shells and don't dress it up as you don't want to embarrass him, you should embarrass him he snooped through your phone.
I could not stand and pretend that my OH did not go through my phone if you can then you are a better person than me.
When the smoke comes they is usually some fire be careful
I suggest you start using a password for your phone.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

If you read my post, I never said he was cheating but it was just a theory.
I know a few people who said through the years I trust my OH 100% never a reason not to trust them, and guess what they where wrong.I always remember a guy saying to me years ago, unless you are with someone 100% of the time then you can ever be 100% sure.
People have been married over 40 years and only find out after their OH's death that they actually lived double lives etc, google it.

Yes and I am telling you that your theory is in-correct and I most certainly will not be checking his phone as you've suggested. I've known plenty (& gone out with 2) cheating assholes and I can tell the difference. My OH is not cheating, and I trust my own judgement more than some anecdotal evidence about other people you've found on google.

But if my OH went through my phone when they thought I was asleep I would think it was odd and if you are happy to ignore the fact then that is up to you.

I'm obviously not ignoring the fact, if I was would I have posted here?

What makes one person so much better that they would not cheat given the chance

Integrity, consideration, respect for others, willpower, all of which my bf has by the bucketload.

But you should bring it up asap don't walk on egg shells and don't dress it up as you don't want to embarrass him, you should embarrass him he snooped through your phone.
I could not stand and pretend that my OH did not go through my phone if you can then you are a better person than me.

Well I guess I am a better person.

When the smoke comes they is usually some fire be careful

Melodramatic or what

I suggest you start using a password for your phone.

I'll do no such thing, I have nothing to hide


I will be collecting my bf in an hours time, it's the longest period we've spent apart in the last 12 months so I have a nice evening planned. I will ask him tomorrow why, but tbh at this point I've come to the conclusion that there will be a perfectly reasonable explanation

CDfm

Probably playing games or something or a momentary lapse of judgement.

On my phone or email there is nothing my kids or GF can't access.

no big deal.

my gfs phone is password protected and she changes her email password etc. Im not bothered.

castle

CDfm wrote: »

Probably playing games or something or a momentary lapse of judgement.

On my phone or email there is nothing my kids or GF can't access.

no big deal.

my gfs phone is password protected and she changes her email password etc. Im not bothered.

If he was playing games he would not have tried to hide the fact that he took the phone now would he,

OP you said,,I've known plenty (& gone out with 2) cheating assholes and I can tell the difference. If that is the case then you would sell a million books in the morning if you put that in writing,
I just get the feeling that other stuff has happened that you have decided not to post here which is your right,
I have a password on my phone and believe or not I have nothing to hide but I do like some privacy and I am not tied at the hip with OH though sometimes it feels like it.
I am not here to get up your goat but just don't be narrow minded, don't be one of them who says My BF would never do that,do this etc
If you bury her head in the sand guess what,you don't see anything.
There is a saying that you should put no one high on a pedestal because no one can live up to those expectations .
You sound quite young so thread carefully.
Do try to catch him of guard when you bring it up just in case(no warning)
Best of luck,

LegacyUser

castle wrote: »

If he was playing games he would not have tried to hide the fact that he took the phone now would he,

OP you said,,I've known plenty (& gone out with 2) cheating assholes and I can tell the difference. If that is the case then you would sell a million books in the morning if you put that in writing,
I just get the feeling that other stuff has happened that you have decided not to post here which is your right,
I have a password on my phone and believe or not I have nothing to hide but I do like some privacy and I am not tied at the hip with OH though sometimes it feels like it.
I am not here to get up your goat but just don't be narrow minded, don't be one of them who says My BF would never do that,do this etc
If you bury her head in the sand guess what,you don't see anything.
There is a saying that you should put no one high on a pedestal because no one can live up to those expectations .
You sound quite young so thread carefully.
Do try to catch him of guard when you bring it up just in case(no warning)
Best of luck,

No Castle NOTHING else has happened. If you have some sort of sixth sense it is failing you on this occassion.

I am not at all narrow minded, nor am I some niaive youngster, I am a 28 year old woman. I don't have my boyfriend on anysort of pedestal. No-one is perfect and I certainly don't think he is. We are all prone to periods of insecurity which in the worst case scenario is what this is.

Please stop posting in this thread, your paranoid delusions are not at all helpful and I take offence to you suggesting that my bf may be cheating on me.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I trust my bf 100% and I am certain that he is not cheating. I wouldn't dream of going through his phone to check up on him(not that he'd have any problem with me doing anything with his phone, I often play with it in front of him) and I don't think that is very good advice. That is a very unhelpful and unfounded speculation you are making. And yes it is definitely a business trip, it's a meeting with potential clients that set up.

Unregistered wrote: »

But you should bring it up asap don't walk on egg shells and don't dress it up as you don't want to embarrass him, you should embarrass him he snooped through your phone.
I could not stand and pretend that my OH did not go through my phone if you can then you are a better person than me.

Well I guess I am a better person.

Just a word of advice O.p, when you post a problem up here you have to accept all types of advice and opinions given. You asked the board because you were confused with your husbands behavior and because you COULDN'T pretend your O.H didn't go through your phone. Since we don't know your husband personally we can only speculate why he did what he did.. and if that means some members giving the opinion that your could be cheating (even then you know personally he's not), then so be it. It's better to just thank people politely for their (maybe somewhat misguided but well meaning) advice rather than jumping down their throats.
I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for why he brought your phone into the bathroom, maybe he wanted to use it and didn't want to wake you talking or txting. But if it bothers you so much, which it seems to then communication is the best policy.

All the best!

castle

Unregistered wrote: »

No Castle NOTHING else has happened. If you have some sort of sixth sense it is failing you on this occassion.

I am not at all narrow minded, nor am I some niaive youngster, I am a 28 year old woman. I don't have my boyfriend on anysort of pedestal. No-one is perfect and I certainly don't think he is. We are all prone to periods of insecurity which in the worst case scenario is what this is.

Please stop posting in this thread, your paranoid delusions are not at all helpful and I take offence to you suggesting that my bf may be cheating on me.

AS I said before best of luck and I really mean that(sleep with the angels OP)

MissHoneyBun

So he looked at your phone, get over it and stop creating drama where there's none.

Eve_Dublin

I've had a beer or two tonight but I have to ask....why in God's name did you post up here then if you're not worried??

The lady doth protest too much??

I'm sure all is well though....but you seem to know that already....and that's why you posted up here...kind of baffling...

LegacyUser

I posted because I was afraid by bf didn't trust ME!! Not because I don't trust him, I KNOW that I can trust him.

so for the record:

1) I DON'T CARE IF HE LOOKS AT MY PHONE! I have nothing to hide, he uses it all the time when I'm around and I'm not the slightest bit bothered.

2) I trust him completely and he is not nor would he ever cheat on me. He would break up with me before he'd do that as it is very much against his morals.

3) I was bothered by the fact he tried to hide it as it made me think he does not trust me.


I spoke to my bf this morning, turns out he was changing the "gay" ringtone I had assigned to him, he is not a fan of the village people and I just didn't notice he had changed it. Case Closed.

Terodil

Unregistered wrote: »

I spoke to my bf this morning, turns out he was changing the "gay" ringtone I had assigned to him, he is not a fan of the village people and I just didn't notice he had changed it. Case Closed.

Haha, love it. I'm glad everything turned out alright. Wish I could show this to other people who doubt if they should or should not address issues that worry them. Way to go on communication, OP.

Eve_Dublin

There ye go...I knew it was innocent!! Hurrah!

Firetrap

That's good news - an innocent explanation that you'd have never thought of in a million years if you hadn't asked him :cool:

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I posted because I was afraid by bf didn't trust ME!! Not because I don't trust him, I KNOW that I can trust him.

so for the record:

1) I DON'T CARE IF HE LOOKS AT MY PHONE! I have nothing to hide, he uses it all the time when I'm around and I'm not the slightest bit bothered.

2) I trust him completely and he is not nor would he ever cheat on me. He would break up with me before he'd do that as it is very much against his morals.

3) I was bothered by the fact he tried to hide it as it made me think he does not trust me.


I spoke to my bf this morning, turns out he was changing the "gay" ringtone I had assigned to him, he is not a fan of the village people and I just didn't notice he had changed it. Case Closed.

Glad to hear it a happy ending, as long as this wasn't a cover up in case you had woken up and caught him red handed,
People can be so clever when they want it,
If you are happy that is all that matters

puglover

Unregistered wrote: »

Glad to hear it a happy ending, as long as this wasn't a cover up in case you had woken up and caught him red handed,
People can be so clever when they want it,
If you are happy that is all that matters

Gees what's with the doubting Thomas's. The OP knows the full story and her OH and is happy with the outcome.

Trying to put doubts into the mind of someone who seems pretty secure and confident in her relationship is not helpful.

LegacyUser

puglover wrote: »

Gees what's with the doubting Thomas's. The OP knows the full story and her OH and is happy with the outcome.

Trying to put doubts into the mind of someone who seems pretty secure and confident in her relationship is not helpful.

If that was the case as you suggest been secure and confident then she would not have posted here,this is just my opinion please don't shoot me for it,I say what I think if you want to say things only to please someone then so be it(not me)

puglover

I call it as I see it, just have a look through my previous posts if you don't think thats the case