When did you settle into the ol' routine?

JMcCR

So the birthday is arriving around again and this Friday I find myself hitting 28 and it's got me thinking a bit.....

I am currently in the process of moving home from abroad and considering travelling again for a few months before trying to find work again. The last few years have been really up and down with lots of changes. Finished a long term relationship, moved country, travelled for a yr etc.

So my question is this.. What age we're you when you settled down, focused on the career, bought a house and put down the roots? Is it mad to be thinking about the above or should people continue living day to day.... for a while longer!!

OldGoat

Like a good pint you can't hurry the settling.
I was late 30's before I realised that I had turned into my Dad.

johnny_knoxvile

2

Whosbetter?

I bought my house at age 34.

Guess that's when I started gettin' serious about the whole settling down thang.

geeky

I'm 25 (almost 26) and feel I'm starting to get into it! Not a chance of buying a house though...

BraziliaNZ

i was 29 the other day, have a steady job, have travelled for years in my 20s, but i still have no desire to be boring like most of my friends nowadays. Their life entails staying in at the weekends with their other halves, and if they try to go out for a drink or visit me at my place they get harassed all night with texts/phone calls and eventually have to leave early.
It's stuff like this that makes me praise the lord i'm single. I mean why does the opressed relationship life appeal to people so much? You can still get laid fairly regularly when you're single if you play your cards right?
Maybe some day i'll want to settle down but it's really unappealing now.

stovelid

Few years ago (early 30s).

Don't think it's about age, it's more a combination of circumstances and what you want.

And the idea that being in a long-term relationship/settling down together = no fun, social life, and being nagged is more to do with a shit relationship than the settling-down.

Sofiztikated

Since me and herself moved in together, about 4 years ago. I'm 26 now (almost) and she's 24.

Although I'm not buying a house, don't see the point in getting immediately into big debt like that.

Didn't plan a lot of it, it just seemlessly blended into it.

emeraldstar

Oh God not for a good few years yet!

Quazzie

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

i was 29 the other day, have a steady job, have travelled for years in my 20s, but i still have no desire to be boring like most of my friends nowadays. Their life entails staying in at the weekends with their other halves, and if they try to go out for a drink or visit me at my place they get harassed all night with texts/phone calls and eventually have to leave early.
It's stuff like this that makes me praise the lord i'm single. I mean why does the opressed relationship life appeal to people so much? You can still get laid fairly regularly when you're single if you play your cards right?
Maybe some day i'll want to settle down but it's really unappealing now.

If you settle down with the right person that won't happen. People who end up with people like that have settled, not settled down. One does not equals the other.

BraziliaNZ

Quazzie wrote: »

If you settle down with the right person that won't happen. People who end up with people like that have settled, not settled down. One does not equals the other.

from what i can see they're just going to be nagged and dominated for the rest of their lives, puts me off it totally. Anyway I never want kids so i can't settle down really unless I meet a woman who can't give birth?

yeahimhere

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

from what i can see they're just going to be nagged and dominated for the rest of their lives, puts me off it totally. Anyway I never want kids so i can't settle down really unless I meet a woman who can't give birth?

ehh, sorry but not every woman wants kids. The same goes for nagging and dominating. Perhaps if you find yourself nagged and dominated constantly the common denominator is you. :rolleyes:

BraziliaNZ

yeahimhere wrote: »

ehh, sorry but not every woman wants kids. The same goes for nagging and dominating. Perhaps if you find yourself nagged and dominated constantly the common denominator is you. :rolleyes:

I've never met a girl that doesn't want kids

TheZohanS

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I've never met a girl that doesn't want kids

You will, they're out there.

BraziliaNZ

TheZohan wrote: »

You will, they're out there.

but dont they start freaking out for them in their 30s? i thought it was part of their genetic makeup to want them?

gazzer

I have fallen into a settled life without even realising it. I never planned it but slowly over the last couple of years I have started to go out less and have cut back on the drinking after work. Now a typical day is to go to the gym after work, go home and have dinner and then veg on the sofa for the night. I go out prob once a fortnight. 3 years ago I was out every Thurs, Fri, Sat

I think a lot of it though has to do with friends getting married and having kids etc. You dont have the same opporutinities to go out every weekend with your mates as they are at home with the OH and their kids so unless you actively go out and get new friends you are left with the option of going out on your own or just sitting in.

TheZohanS

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

but dont they start freaking out for them in their 30s? i thought it was part of their genetic makeup to want them?

Girls that really want kids can get very broody at that age, but you'll find plenty that have no desire to have children or can't have children.

The only reason you don't see men freaking out about having kids at that age is because we can father children much older.

Mena

Married at 21, first house at 22, own company at 24. Got rid of the lot and moved country with the wife at 27, had our first child at 30.

However, we're still living day to day

To hell with the rat race!

nerophis

It's like boiling a frog- turn the heat up slowly and noboby notices- some frogs last longer than others

spoofilyj

I felt this time last year that I was beginning to settledown, Had a steady job and everyday routine but then lost that job in February and got a new one that needs me to travel all around the world to work with different clients and now feel like I'm a million miles away from settling... My life is all over the place now and I would love some normality again. But as for buying a house ansd getting married its all ahead of me and a long way off imo. I'm only 26 so a while to go yet I think...

Birdie086

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

but dont they start freaking out for them in their 30s? i thought it was part of their genetic makeup to want them?

That may be the case but trust me there are women who dont ever want to have kids.

AnonoBoy

Get off the grid now while you still can OP. Once you hit 30 they chip you and you can never get away.

SEPT 23 1989

The moment my first child was born everything changed in the split second
and for the better

stovelid

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

from what i can see they're just going to be nagged and dominated for the rest of their lives, puts me off it totally.

That means:

a) your mates married nags

b) your mates behave in a way that warrants nagging

c) all of the above

BraziliaNZ

stovelid wrote: »

That means:

a) your mates married nags

b) your mates behave in a way that warrants nagging

c) all of the above

Well there are so many i really think some blokes thrive on nagging girlfriends. It gives them an excuse to stay in all the time, never try new things, never meet new people etc.

GeorgeCostanza

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I've never met a girl that doesn't want kids

By the sounds of things, you haven't met a lot of girls dude...

stovelid

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

It gives them an excuse to stay in all the time,

If they want an excuse, then it's what they want obviously. They don't exist solely as a social outlet for you.

People tend to blame the wife/partner when the lad is happy to kick back too.

You do ease off as you get older.

I love going out still but it's usually every second weekend and as I advance in work, I only really go out Friday or Saturday these days. Not every weekend either; usually twice a month.

tman

Have found myself going out less and less since I got into a serious relationship recently, but definitely don't feel tied down in the least.
I know that she would have absolutely no problem with me going out and getting mashed whenever I felt like it, but I'd rather spend a night in front of the boob tube with a couple of bottles of wine tbh...

And fortunately for me she's one of the ones (a supposedly rare breed according to this thread:p) who doesn't want kids any time soon, so this is as settled as I'll ever have to get.

BraziliaNZ

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

but dont they start freaking out for them in their 30s? i thought it was part of their genetic makeup to want them?

Please don't say anything like that, in or around the ladies lounge. Please.

~Dons riot gear just in case~

BraziliaNZ

GeorgeCostanza wrote: »

By the sounds of things, you haven't met a lot of girls dude...

dude?
anyway, why do you think this? would you not agree that the vast, vast majority of girls want kids some day?

GeorgeCostanza

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

anyway, why do you think this? would you not agree that the vast, vast majority of girls want kids some day?

Yeah, I'd say the majority of women want kids some day, but I think only someone with limited experience of the opposite sex would make a statement like this:

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

It's stuff like this that makes me praise the lord i'm single. I mean why does the opressed relationship life appeal to people so much? You can still get laid fairly regularly when you're single if you play your cards right?

I think you might be missing the point, dude. For your mates, as for a lot of people, it's not just about getting laid...

emeraldstar

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I've never met a girl that doesn't want kids

I don't. Bleugh.

skelliser

There's a voice that keeps on calling me,
Down the road, that's where I'll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

FlutterinBantam

I was a free spirit up until my late twenties, well educated plenty of dosh,but believe me early thirties different story.

It's gradual, up in the morning ,good brekkie, up to the dunny and squat there reading the IT, back out a copper coloured daschund and check the pie crust , good ,good ,wipe and go.

Then off to work and home again..jaysus the only bit of excitement is when you coat the pan in warm gravy after a feed of curry and Guinness.

grows on you so it does.

Never let it get to you though.

toexpress

I decided to dig this one up for kicks.

It was the overtime thread .... made me sad! I remembered the boom times when we all earned assloads of money and the idea of the routine and middle age was so far away we couldn't even see it on the horizon.

Anyone else sadly settling into a routine of quick dinners at home rather than going to eat after work and then caning it till 3am heading into work still a little drunk but it never mattered because we were on the cusp of a booming economy ... Fcuk me I'm depressed now :mad:

opinionated3

Married at twenty six. Probably only settled into routine around 31 / 32. Bored off my head with life. Wish i had studied harder when doing the leaving cert! Sorry to be so depressing about it...!!

_Kaiser_

opinionated3 wrote: »

Married at twenty six. Probably only settled into routine around 31 / 32. Bored off my head with life. Wish i had studied harder when doing the leaving cert! Sorry to be so depressing about it...!!

The sad thing is though (and I don't mean specifically you but you struck a chord) that there are probably a lot of people like this who "settled down" young in the good times and bought a house, started a family etc because it was the done thing.

Now, 10 years on, they wake up and find that they're very different people than they were back then. At worst this ends in divorce but more commonly I'd imagine it becomes "settling" with your lot while regretting your choices and wishing you'd spent more time learning about yourself than doing what was expected of them/everyone else was doing

fartman

my mammy always told me to settle down early and have your kids etc, by the time they are adults you would be still young to enjoy life.

bluecode

You don't know you've settled until you look back and realise nothing much has changed for the last few years. You can't anticipate it. Most of the time you don't realise you've settled down.

Where To

Jesus I'm only after getting out of the routine this week, never going back into it, not til the dollars run out anyway.

Tasden

Had a child and settled down very young. Didn't buy, just rented thank god.

After years of being a stay at home mother with just a part time job, in the same daily routine and pretty unhappy, the relationship ended.

Soon afterwards I got a job I've always wanted, started making some of the best friends I've ever had, doing new things and now I'm loving life!