False accusations

Pighead

Have you ever been accused of doing something you didn't do or of being something that you're not? It's a horrible feeling isn't it? Today for about the fourth time in Pighead's time on boards he was accused of being a ginger by Degsy. Have no idea where or how this vicious slur originated but every time the bald librarian repeats it it feels like somebody has hit Pighead square in the testicles with a sledgehammer.

This is not the first time Pighead reputation has been blighted by false accusations and lies. Back in 91 there was a girl called Theresa and she owned a hamster called JD which she had named after the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer who had been arrested for multiple murders a couple of months previously.

She was a lovely girl but she had a mean streak and this was shown one late summers evening when Pighead declared that he was going to cycle down the steep hill of death. She had disconnected the brake cable whilst Pighead had gone inside to shave his legs for aerodynamic purposes. Long story short, there was a horrible crash, a broken bike and a completely battered and broken Pighead.

Swore blindly to her that revenge would be swift and told her that she had better keep a close eye on JD because his life was on the line after her malicious stunt. Next day, heard on the local radio that JD had indeed died and that a good looking local fellow was the main suspect. Knew immediately who they were talking about and gulped quite a few times.

Was brought in by Theresa's folks for questioning and denied the accusations vigorously. They had no proof so Pighead was able to walk out of Theresa's house a free man. The damage was done though. Pighead became known as "The hamster killer" and was unable to date or talk to any girls in the class who owned or who had a fondness for hamsters. Which was horrible as everyone knows that all the best looking girls own hamsters.
Pighead had been sentenced to a teenage life of kissing ugly girls even though he was completely innocent.

So what have you been falsely accused of over the years?

D.Q

you say there was "no proof"

never once do you say you didnt do it,

you killed that hamster didnt you?

ginger bastard.

Cookie_Monster

I get accused of being nice all the time, I don't know how but people keeping seeing it in me.








Bastards!

Smart Bug

I also believe, Pighead, you've often been falsely accused of being funny.

AnonoBoy

Well I was accused of punching Sophia Loren once in a nightclub but the pope, who really is a lovely man, made the whole thing just go away!

IvyTheTerrible

I just got accused of robbing stuff from peoples bags, but I swear I didn't touch those cigarettes...

Kiera

Pighead wrote: »

Today for about the fourth time in Pighead's time on boards he was accused of being a ginger by Degsy. Have no idea where or how this vicious slur originated but every time the bald librarian repeats it it feels like somebody has hit Pighead square in the testicles with a sledgehammer.

How is Degsy making false accusations? I think the only way to clear this up is to post of pic of yourself, PigFace!

Birneybau

I was accused once of making Racist comments about Lewis Hamilton on Ranting and Raving....

Phew,turns out it was all a dream....

Mmmm,Cookies.....

WIZE

Davie_m

i think you require the assistance of the_citizen to help undo this injustice and clear your name as the 'red-headed - hamster killer'

Cookie_Monster

Birneybau wrote: »

I was accused once of making Racist comments about Lewis Hamilton on Ranting and Raving....

Phew,turns out it was all a dream....

Mmmm,Cookies.....

Really? Hmmm stop trying to steal my work.

Lewis Hamilton is a

racing driver, haha

Degsy

BVB wrote: »

Here he is now
http://www.murraynewlands.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/neil_kinnock.jpg

My name is URL

I just found out yesterday that Degsy is a librarian, almost choked on my coffee

the fact remains though, Pighead is a ginger hamster killer

Pighead

Kiera wrote: »

How is Degsy making false accusations? I think the only way to clear this up is to post of pic of yourself, PigFace!

Degsy is making false accusations by virtue of the fact that every single follicle on top of Pighead's crown is brown. And whatsmore Pighead's not even one of those weird lads who have brown hair but grow ginger beards.

Nice effort to extort a pic Kiera. It won't work though. This kid wasn't born yesterday. If we said to you that we heard on the grapevine that you had hairy nipples would you post a pic to disprove it? Doubtful. You're better than that and so is Pighead.

Long Onion

I have been accused of many things, walking on top of a lake, over shooting my fishing quota, faking my own death, portraying myself as a doctor and telling lepers they were cured (that was funny), getting the wealthy to donate their worldly possessions to my company organisation,

Of course none of this was true, I was really just a normal old mexican (surprised no-one copped it from my name) who didn't like jewish people very much. Of course, eventually I was rumbled and had to resign my directorship, now I make a very good living selling chocolate eggs.

But I do agree with you Pighead, it's amazing how these rumours take on a life of their own.

WIZE

Degsy wrote: »

Here he is now
http://www.murraynewlands.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/neil_kinnock.jpg

this is the( good Looking ) wanted person they were looking for in 91

Mr Benevolent

Ah Pighead *insert mandatory chortle*. I'm surprised you don't end every post with 'YOU WILL LAUGH NOW!' It's though he carries an autocue around with him. Must try less hard next time.

Pighead

Degsy wrote: »

Here he is now
http://www.murraynewlands.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/neil_kinnock.jpg

But that's Neil Kinnock you senile old fool! Speaking of Kinnock one of his most famous quotes went “The Parthenon without the marbles is like a smile with a tooth missing.” Similarly "Degsy without the hate fuelled right wing ideals, is like a library without books"

Pighead

Confab wrote: »

Ah Pighead *insert mandatory chortle*. I'm surprised you don't end every post with 'YOU WILL LAUGH NOW!' It's though he carries an autocue around with him. Must try less hard next time.

Ah Confab. You remind Pighead of a goldfish he once had. A fish called arsehead due to the uncanny likeness his head bore to an arse. He had a huge bowl to swim around, such a vast vast area of water to wander about as he pleased, yet he kept on making a bee line towards Pighead who was minding his own business sitting on a comfortable armchair reading a book entitled "Why must people be so nasty?"

Each and every time he'd bang into the glass and then he'd throw Pighead the most horrible of horrible looks as if to say "Thanks a bunch Pighead, that's your fault that is" Pighead felt apologetic after the first couple of times it happened but after a while he realised that the fish' woes were of his own making and now he simply says "Shut the hell up arsehead"

Degsy

Pighead wrote: »

But that's Neil Kinnock you senile old fool! Speaking of Kinnock one of his most famous quotes went “The Parthenon without the marbles is like a smile with a tooth missing.” Similarly "Degsy without the hate fuelled right wing ideals, is like a library without books"

"The thin veneer of ginger affability slips under duress..wise man say"

Smart Bug

Ah Pighead, you remind me of a grizzled old man sitting in the darkened corner of his local, stroking his gnarled walking stick with his arthritic talons. So senile he is now that he refers to himself in the third person.

“Pighead” he’ll say “you remember that time I made a joke two years ago?”

“Pighead does” he’ll reply to himself “and Pighead’s been laughing ever since” he chortles, as he strokes his stick ever harder…

Pighead

Degsy wrote: »

"The thin veneer of ginger affability slips under duress..wise man say"

An even wiser old man once said "The thin veneer of Degsy's balding head makes his skull very cold in Winter time"

Pighead

Smart Bug wrote: »

Ah Pighead, you remind me of a grizzled old man sitting in the darkened corner of his local, stroking his gnarled walking stick with his arthritic talons. So senile he is now that he refers to himself in the third person.

“Pighead” he’ll say “you remember that time I made a joke two years ago?”

“Pighead does” he’ll reply to himself “and Pighead’s been laughing ever since” he chortles, as he strokes his stick ever harder…

You remind Pighead of his cousin Jessica. What a whiny bitch that girl is!

Degsy

Degsy thinks pighead should open a restaurant

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/images/gingerpiglogo_0.jpg

Degsy

Pighead wrote: »

An even wiser old man once said "The thin veneer of Degsy's balding head makes his skull very cold in Winter time"

Better bald than ginger!

Latchy

So what's this thread about again , oh yeah ' false accustions ' right .


I was accused of robbing an orchard once and it was true.

Smart Bug

Degsy wrote: »

Degsy thinks pighead should open a restaurant

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/images/gingerpiglogo_0.jpg

Smart Bug thinks Pighead has already opened a restaurant

http://www.108marylebonelane.com/images/ginger_pig.jpg

Degsy

Latchy wrote: »

I was accused of robbing an orchard once and it was true.

That was very ginger of you.

Do you like ricky martin?
Pighead does

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCR_82L7AxQ

Smart Bug

Latchy wrote: »

I was accused of robbing an orchard once and it was true.

Degsy wrote: »

That was very ginger of you.

After those red apples were you?

Fratton Fred

Pighead wrote: »

everyone knows that all the best looking girls own hamsters.Pighead had been sentenced to a teenage life of kissing ugly girls even though he was completely innocent.

So what have you been falsely accused of over the years?

That's your mistake right there. go for the girls with beavers, they are a lot more fun.

Keano

Latchy wrote: »

So what's this thread about again , oh yeah ' false accustions ' right .


I was accused of robbing an orchard once and it was true.

No Latchy it is the Degsy and Pighead get a room thread. :pac:

Pighead

Smart Bug wrote: »

Smart Bug thinks Pighead has already opened a restaurant

http://www.108marylebonelane.com/images/ginger_pig.jpg

That's the same restaurant that Degsy put up ya big ninny! If you're going to rob your material of other people you really should look steal it from a better source than an elderly balding librarian!

Anyway back on topic, Pighead was once accused of breaking his own fingers on purpose to get out of doing his end of year exams. In reality they were broken after a nasty fall from his bicycle after the brake cables had failed whilst cycling down the steep hill of death.

Latchy

Degsy wrote: »

That was very ginger of you.

I had a ginger moustache when i was a teen but then so did half the Irish teen male at the time .Damm vikings and their red mouzzies .

Wonder if it was the apples

Do you like ricky martin?
Pighead does

Ricky Martin No , His sisters hawt but she dont do gingers .

Keano A Legend wrote: »

No Latchy it is the Degsy and Pighead get a room thread. :pac:

Another off course thread so :pac:

Degsy

Pighead wrote: »

That's the same restaurant that Degsy put up ya big ninny! If you're going to rob your material of other people you really should look steal it from a better source than an elderly balding librarian!
.

Correct..far better to steal it from a ginger beanpole who works in one of these computer places and wears an ill-fitting suit.
Actually,maybe not..the material is,as Seymour Skinner would say "weak".

YFlyer

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

I get accused of being nice all the time, I don't know how but people keeping seeing it in me.








Bastards!

Nobody likes to be called nice by a person of the opposite sex.

Pighead

Degsy wrote: »

Better bald than ginger!

Not if you were partaking in a "Who has the most hair competition"

Listen Degsy, you know fully well how hurtful these ginger jibes are to Pighead yet you persist in throwing these false accusations around willy nilly. Call Pighead a cnut, call him smelly feet, hell you can even call him a girl but please refrain from calling him ginger.

If Pighead sends you a lock of his shiny brown lustrous hair in the post can we finally put an end to this madness?

Smart Bug

YFlyer wrote: »

Nobody likes to be called nice by a person of the opposite sex.

Especially when she's unzipping your fly:

"Oh, you're so........nice"

Degsy

Latchy wrote: »

His sisters hawt but she dont do gingers :pac:

Most women dont.
Exhibit "A"
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/member.php?u=39578

Latchy

Degsy wrote: »

Most women dont.
Exhibit "A"
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/member.php?u=39578

Which reminds me , Porky pig ..now ...like did he ever get his rocks off with another pig ....or perhaps maybe even a human ?

YFlyer

Smart Bug wrote: »

Especially when she's unzipping your fly:

"Oh, you're so........nice"

That 'nice' is fine.

Its more the one where a girl ask you 'what do you think of Mary?' and you reply by 'Yeah Mary is a nice girl' and then you just mumble away hoping that the one doesn't ask you to shift or date Mary.

orestes

When are you two just gonna do the dirty get it over with? You could cut the sexual tension between you with a knife, just give in guys

Pighead

orestes wrote: »

When are you two just gonna do the dirty get it over with? You could cut the sexual tension between you with a knife, just give in guys

Not gonna happen. Pighead doesn't "do the dirty" with fat balding librarians. Not male ones anyway.

Degsy

Pighead wrote: »

Not gonna happen. Pighead doesn't "do the dirty" with fat balding librarians. Not male ones anyway.

And females ones wouldnt have you...not much chance of you ever popping your cherry is there?

John Mason

Pighead wrote: »

not even one of those weird lads who have brown hair but grow ginger beards.

ah piggy, i have met you - stop lying now

brummytom

The sexual tension is this thread is ridiculously high

dr.bollocko

Pighead wrote: »

Not gonna happen. Pighead doesn't "do the dirty" with fat balding librarians. Not male ones anyway.

Degsy wrote: »

And females ones wouldnt have you...not much chance of you ever popping your cherry is there?

Take it to the thunderdome lads. Bannings for potshots like this from now on.

WIZE

Well they couldn't mud wrestle as Pighead would have an advantage

Degsy

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Take it to the thunderdome lads. Bannings for potshots like this from now on.

Aww!

AnonoBoy

brummytom wrote: »

The sexual tension is this thread is ridiculously high

You think that's bad - check out the tension in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5AxlJSiEEs


Oh sexual tension. Sorry I misread.

Degsy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You think that's bad - check out the tension in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5AxlJSiEEs


Oh sexual tension. Sorry I misread.

I actually lol'd.

Pighead

Degsy wrote: »

And females ones wouldnt have you...not much chance of you ever popping your cherry is there?

Good God Degsy you're words are just like the DeLorean car in Back to the Future! As soon as Pighead has finished reading them he is magically transformed back to 1988. "You're a virgin Pighead and you've got AIDS ha ha ha ha ha" said eleven year old Fat Freddie who was almost certainly(and probably still is) also a virgin.

Come on Degsy, your childish words and your dress style (gotta lose that Schott jacket!) are screaming out 1988. It's time for you to get back to the future. Run as fast as you can towards the book in the library entitled "It's really about time I started acting my age" As long as you hit that book with your large caveman like protruding forehead at precisely 88mph the instant the bald head and the book collide... everything will be fine.