Training and relationships

jambi

Do your relationships suffer as a result of your training?

I’m sure most of you who train are familiar with this scenario. You are committed to the clean diet and regular training that you know from experience delivers results. You’re well aware that consistency, structure, discipline and intensity are essential ingredients for success. You’re working hard, making slow but steady progress, your dedication and hard work is paying dividends, you’re fighting to gain those hard-to-earn yards and you are winning. But what about those times that your significant other asks you to do this or that, to go here or there? A plethora of frivolous activity inhibiting your carefully designed master plan. What do you do? Miss one session? Two? Three? Your plan is thrown out of kilter, progress grinds to a halt, and you’re treading water, not only that, you’re slowly sinking. Do you resist, adjust, refuse, combine, prioritise, compromise, alternate or accede? What do you do if the final ultimatum is laid down, me or your training??

Me? I’m single.

d'Oracle

jambi wrote: »

Do your relationships suffer as a result of your training?

I’m sure most of you who train are familiar with this scenario. You are committed to the clean diet and regular training that you know from experience delivers results. You’re well aware that consistency, structure, discipline and intensity are essential ingredients for success. You’re working hard, making slow but steady progress, your dedication and hard work is paying dividends, you’re fighting to gain those hard-to-earn yards and you are winning. But what about those times that your significant other asks you to do this or that, to go here or there? A plethora of frivolous activity inhibiting your carefully designed master plan. What do you do? Miss one session? Two? Three? Your plan is thrown out of kilter, progress grinds to a halt, and you’re treading water, not only that, you’re slowly sinking. Do you resist, adjust, refuse, combine, prioritise, compromise, alternate or accede? What do you do if the final ultimatum is laid down, me or your training??

Me? I’m single.

Edit: Silly post, by me.

O.P.H

jambi wrote: »

Do your relationships suffer as a result of your training?

I’m sure most of you who train are familiar with this scenario. You are committed to the clean diet and regular training that you know from experience delivers results. You’re well aware that consistency, structure, discipline and intensity are essential ingredients for success. You’re working hard, making slow but steady progress, your dedication and hard work is paying dividends, you’re fighting to gain those hard-to-earn yards and you are winning. But what about those times that your significant other asks you to do this or that, to go here or there? A plethora of frivolous activity inhibiting your carefully designed master plan. What do you do? Miss one session? Two? Three? Your plan is thrown out of kilter, progress grinds to a halt, and you’re treading water, not only that, you’re slowly sinking. Do you resist, adjust, refuse, combine, prioritise, compromise, alternate or accede? What do you do if the final ultimatum is laid down, me or your training??

Me? I’m single.

:D Very funny post, laughed my ass off.

Unless your a professional athelete making a living from your training or your highly involved in some kind of competitive sport like football or rugby etc I would always say your other half comes first. And if it is football or rugby or whatever, generally your other half will know she can't expect you to go here and do this or do that at certain times becasue you have training. Also if your football or rugby etc etc is just some aul kick about with the lads then maybe she can. But if your just one these lads tryin to get in shape etc then just miss the odd session when ya have to, no need to be OCD about your training, whats the point of doin all that work and gettin into shape if your life just revolves around the gym.

Dovers

O.P.H wrote: »

:D Very funny post, laughed my ass off.

Unless your a professional athelete making a living from your training or your highly involved in some kind of competitive sport like football or rugby etc I would always say your other half comes first. And if it is football or rugby or whatever, generally your other half will know she can't expect you to go here and do this or do that at certain times becasue you have training. Also if your football or rugby etc etc is just some aul kick about with the lads then maybe she can. But if your just one these lads tryin to get in shape etc then just miss the odd session when ya have to, no need to be OCD about your training, whats the point of doin all that work and gettin into shape if your life just revolves around the gym.

Good topic this gets me in trouble all the time. "So the gym comes before me then does it ??" Yes I'm afraid it does. This lifestyle was here before you came along and it will be here after you should you choose not to hang around. Why don't you come along with me then? That usually resolves the issue

LightningBolt

Do some "fitness activity" together.

Problem solved:D

Khannie

jambi wrote: »

Me? I’m single.

lol. Nice one.

I'm married with kids and I train a lot. I miss out on quite a bit if family life because of training (Saturday afternoons and two full evenings a week, not to mention time I've spent on my own in Thailand, etc.). I try to make the rest of my life fit in around training (e.g. training at lunchtime). I have missed training sessions because of my OH, but they've been few and far between. She's very supportive of me not getting the s*** kicked out of me.

Yapamillias

upright rows before hoes

(of course im joking )

jambi

I started thinking about this topic after a brief chat with some other fellow gym goers. We were talking about our training routines. I had just explained my splits and sessions when one of the guys said “That’s awesome but you must be single!” and “I’d love to do something like that but the missus would divorce me!”

I don’t think I’d ever let anything come between me and my training. The only times I haven’t trained regularly in the last couple of years have been when I have been physically incapacitated due to injury. I am slightly concerned that I may have a smidgen of OCD but hey, there are worse things I could be compulsive about, right?

That’s not to say I don’t have a life outside of the gym. Just that I prioritise my training. I wondered if I was alone in that.

g'em

My OH and I met in the gym - he's a BBer & a PLer so there's rarely, if ever, conflict about training. Plenty of conflict about other things but the gym is the one row-free topic we have

He buys the protein, I buy the peanut butter. I make the steak dinners, he makes the scrambled eggs for breakfast. It makes training life a hell of a lot easier, no doubt about it, and it's lovely to have a common ground that we can always talk about with great enthusiasm.

It comes down to a bit more than just practicalities too though, I admire the dedication and ethic he has to get to the level he's achieved and I know he feels the same about me. That doesn't mean to say that I could admire and respect a non-gym goer, simply that I find it very very easy to appreciate it in an area I can relate to.

g'em

Yapamillias wrote: »

upright rows before hoes

(of course im joking )

I lol'd, I shouldn't but I did

Beau

I don't feel training get in the way, its something that I just have to do. However I find keeping my diet in track around her is tough! She can eat anything and she'll put nothing on and she has a sweet tooth, so I find it very hard to not have something if shes having something nice. Not around her though i dont have a problem with temptation!

itsallaboutheL

I found it an awful lot harder when i was playing rugby, having to be somewhere at an exact time 5 days a week is a bit of a balls like, at least with the gym the times can be variable to some extent.


EDIT: Wait... I'm single now.... hmmm.. any takers??

Roper

If you get hassle from the other half, you can counter with the following Roperbrand (patent pending) counter arguments.

A) I'm lean and hot, which makes me more attractive to you. Would you prefer me to be fat?
2) I have stamina and endurance, so I can go like a sewing machine in the scratcher. Would you prefer to have a big sweaty heap panting away?
4) I prepare delicious healthy meals for dinner, which means that you have to eat them which makes you hotter which in turn makes me more attracted to you. Would YOU prefer to be fat?

I've missed lots of things by being in the gym. Lost, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives... the list goes on.

Dovers

Roper wrote: »

If you get hassle from the other half, you can counter with the following Roperbrand (patent pending) counter arguments.

A) I'm lean and hot, which makes me more attractive to you. Would you prefer me to be fat?
2) I have stamina and endurance, so I can go like a sewing machine in the scratcher. Would you prefer to have a big sweaty heap panting away?
4) I prepare delicious healthy meals for dinner, which means that you have to eat them which makes you hotter which in turn makes me more attracted to you. Would YOU prefer to be fat?

Christ thats brilliant!

*gets pen and paper*

O.P.H

Roper wrote: »

If you get hassle from the other half, you can counter with the following Roperbrand (patent pending) counter arguments.

A) I'm lean and hot, which makes me more attractive to you. Would you prefer me to be fat?
2) I have stamina and endurance, so I can go like a sewing machine in the scratcher. Would you prefer to have a big sweaty heap panting away?
4) I prepare delicious healthy meals for dinner, which means that you have to eat them which makes you hotter which in turn makes me more attracted to you. Would YOU prefer to be fat?

I've missed lots of things by being in the gym. Lost, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives... the list goes on.

A, 2 and 4.....:D

Magic Eight Ball

Recently canceled a date with a girl so I could go training.
I dunno, the urge to lift outweighed the urge to sit around talking bull****.

Parsley

Yapamillias wrote: »

upright rows before hoes

(of course im joking )

Curls before girls :pac:

O.P.H

Trevor Coulahan wrote: »

Recently canceled a date with a girl so I could go training.
I dunno, the urge to lift outweighed the urge to sit around talking bull****.

Ok mate, no offence.... but thats just gay!:eek:

Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt the overal purpose of doing weights, getting in shape and getting ripped so as to get a woman, and any lad that says it isnt or "I do it for myself", thats just gay too!

Magic Eight Ball

O.P.H wrote: »

Ok mate, no offence.... but thats just gay!:eek:

Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt the overal purpose of doing weights, getting in shape and getting ripped so as to get a woman, and any lad that says it isnt or "I do it for myself", thats just gay too!

What can I say, I train for health purposes. mental innit?! ... OH and "I do it for myself" :pac:

Inspector Coptoor

I have a girlfriend for 6 years or so now
I wasnt always into training as much as i am now
I do about 5-7 weight training sessions per week

she knows i like to train and she doesnt mind.
she;s actually started coming with me and is doing a programme i put together for her so its all good

Not all girls would be as understanding tho

FunkZ

Parsley wrote: »

Curls before girls :pac:

SQUATS BEFORE MOTS!

My GF will kill me. I better go eat some Carbonara!

Being in a relationship affects my diet, not my training... the hangovers affect that!

itsallaboutheL

And for the Competitive Lifters....


Meets before meat........:eek::D

d'Oracle

FunkZ wrote: »

SQUATS BEFORE MOTS!

Bench before Wench?

tlev

The only conflict I have is trying to get my girlfriend to train with me...

LightningBolt

O.P.H wrote: »

Ok mate, no offence.... but thats just gay!:eek:

Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt the overal purpose of doing weights, getting in shape and getting ripped so as to get a woman, and any lad that says it isnt or "I do it for myself", thats just gay too!

Bull****. Yeah the guys who spend a 1/3 of the time checking themselves out in mirrors might do it for that reason but there's a hell of a lot people who aren't so insecure to feel the need that they only be judged on looks.

Cancelling a date though is pretty gay!

LightningBolt

Agree with Itsallaboutthel, now I'm back playing proper rugby the social life will suffer a fair bit. I actually don't mind it as it'll give me some time to explore more non-alcoholic related activities. From next week we've some form of training 3 nights, a game on weekends and some form of recovery to do the following the day be it swimming, running, biking. Add in the three gym sessions and it gets tough trying to organise other things. Thankfully my schedule has freed up quite a bit over the next two weeks:D

m r c

funny to see a topic on this the guilt really gets to me. i am away for minimum of three hours 4 to 5 evenings a week i feel like its not fair my wife is at home on her own do you guys think that is fair. we dont have children

O.P.H

LightningBolt wrote: »

Bull****. Yeah the guys who spend a 1/3 of the time checking themselves out in mirrors might do it for that reason but there's a hell of a lot people who aren't so insecure to feel the need that they only be judged on looks.

Cancelling a date though is pretty gay!

Bull**** to your bull****!

Fair enough your in the gym for your rugby and not just to look better but it just so happens that training for rugby will make you look better and I guarenttee you that if something happend to you that stopped you playin rugby but you could still gym, you would go to the gym becasue you probly dont wanna become a fat lump because you don't wanna be unattractive. I'm sorry mate but pretty much everything we do in life is to attract the opposite sex or the same sex if you happen to be gay its just the way the world works, obviously every time you do a set your not thinking to yourself "omg I'm so gonna get a woman now", that would make you odd, but it all comes back to that at the end of the day.

johnny_knoxvile

interesting post whatever your view on the subject. Your training is a lifestyle choice, it becomes part of who you are, so i can, to a degree, understand what the OP is saying. I spent a couple of years getting myself in good shape, along came a girlfriend and my training was put on the back burner. I wasnt given an ultimatium, it was just there wasnt enough hours in the day between our schedules. We broke up a year later and i was unfit, and had lost so much strenght i felt crap and i nearly threw in towel with the gym. I did however my backside in gear again and swore i would never neglect my training again for man, woman or beast (that does describe an Ex). If your training is important to your mental well being an self image, i can understand how it can become obcessive. I guess its all about balance. I train 5 days a week, but dont mind missing a session here and there for other things. I wouldnt give it up for totally for anyone though.

jambi

O.P.H wrote: »

I'm sorry mate but pretty much everything we do in life is to attract the opposite sex or the same sex if you happen to be gay its just the way the world works, obviously every time you do a set your not thinking to yourself "omg I'm so gonna get a woman now", that would make you odd, but it all comes back to that at the end of the day.

I disagree. Sure, maybe for some people it could be about making themselves more attractive to others. It certainly is not about that for me. In fact, I know lots of people who say big muscles are less attractive. Going back to some things I alluded to earlier, training for me is a way of life, and the traits needed to be successful in physical training can be similarly applied to numerous other areas to enrich your entire life. I really appreciate this quote from Henry Rollins –

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

So you see training, for me anyway, is not about becoming more attractive to others (and I could go off on a rant here about the evils of our superficial society, materialistic greed, chaotic self-indulgence and egotism, etc, etc but that would just bore the pants off everyone!). Training is about personal development, health and well-being of body, mind and spirit. But each to their own.

Khannie

m r c wrote: »

funny to see a topic on this the guilt really gets to me. i am away for minimum of three hours 4 to 5 evenings a week i feel like its not fair my wife is at home on her own do you guys think that is fair. we dont have children

Don't kid yourself.....She's delighted to get you out of the house.

O.P.H

jambi wrote: »

I disagree. Sure, maybe for some people it could be about making themselves more attractive to others. It certainly is not about that for me. In fact, I know lots of people who say big muscles are less attractive. Going back to some things I alluded to earlier, training for me is a way of life, and the traits needed to be successful in physical training can be similarly applied to numerous other areas to enrich your entire life. I really appreciate this quote from Henry Rollins –

So you see training, for me anyway, is not about becoming more attractive to others (and I could go off on a rant here about the evils of our superficial society, materialistic greed, chaotic self-indulgence and egotism, etc, etc but that would just bore the pants off everyone!). Training is about personal development, health and well-being of body, mind and spirit. But each to their own.

I'm sorry but that Henry Rollins lad seems to have spent so much time training and in the gym that his free weights have become his best firend. Whats the point training if you have no life to enjoy the fruits of it...its insane. Again, if your doin it for a sport, that is different, if your doin it for yourself and you say body image is not a factor...thats BS and if your just doin it because you like it like that Henry Rollins guy and your life revoles around gym then you've lost a little perspective on life and what really matters (i.e - canceling dates, no offence mate) Anyone who gets more enjoyment out of going to the gym 5 to 7 times a week, keeping a strict routine and planning their life around the gym to the detriment of "real aspects" of their live (i.e - family and friends) has got it all arse backwards imo.

itsallaboutheL

jambi wrote: »

I disagree. Sure, maybe for some people it could be about making themselves more attractive to others. It certainly is not about that for me. In fact, I know lots of people who say big muscles are less attractive. Going back to some things I alluded to earlier, training for me is a way of life, and the traits needed to be successful in physical training can be similarly applied to numerous other areas to enrich your entire life. I really appreciate this quote from Henry Rollins –

So you see training, for me anyway, is not about becoming more attractive to others (and I could go off on a rant here about the evils of our superficial society, materialistic greed, chaotic self-indulgence and egotism, etc, etc but that would just bore the pants off everyone!). Training is about personal development, health and well-being of body, mind and spirit. But each to their own.

Bollox to that, i wanna get MASSIVE!!:o:D

Magic Eight Ball

I opened a can of worms!

Let me just elaborate. It was more tongue-in-cheek statement then anything else.
I was always going to cancel said date as I’d no interest in that particular girl in question.

Personally, training has no effect on my social life as I work next to my gym and get 90 minute lunch breaks so I’m extremely lucky in that regard.

Socialising and maintaining a decent diet use to be a problem until I learned how to cook. That’s about it.

Oh and Training just to impress the opposite sex... Now that’s pretty gay!

O.P.H

Trevor Coulahan wrote: »

I opened a can of worms!

Let me just elaborate. It was more tongue-in-cheek statement then anything else.
I was always going to cancel said date as I’d no interest in that particular girl in question.

Personally, training has no effect on my social life as I work next to my gym and get 90 minute lunch breaks so I’m extremely lucky in that regard.

Socialising and maintaining a decent diet use to be a problem until I learned how to cook. That’s about it.

Oh and Training just to impress the opposite sex... Now that’s pretty gay!

LOL I would have thought it was the exact opposite of being gay myself

And you and everyone else here knows exactly what I'm talkin bout so don't play dumb, pretty much everything constrcutive you do in your life is for that reason whether you think it or not.

davmol

Parsley wrote: »

Curls before girls :pac:

lunge before flange!!

sorry had to get that in,feel free to ban me for life !!

Magic Eight Ball

O.P.H wrote: »

pretty much everything constrcutive you do in your life is for that reason whether you think it or not.

Ok, I'll give you that because it made me LOL. :pac:

daveywavey08

I'm doing it to feel better about me and to look better for my partner. If my boyfriend doesn't like that then he can go find someone else who will spend every free moment in the house with him. I think he accepts that because of my gym work he has a hot body and a nice waxed body/arse to boink.
I think it's worth spending a few hours less with your partner in the evenings so that they can find you more attractive in the long term.

itsallaboutheL

daveywavey08 wrote: »

I'm doing it to feel better about me and to look better for my partner. If my boyfriend doesn't like that then he can go find someone else who will spend every free moment in the house with him. I think he accepts that because of my gym work he has a hot body and a nice waxed body/arse to boink.
I think it's worth spending a few hours less with your partner in the evenings so that they can find you more attractive in the long term.

You Big Gay!!;)

O.P.H

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

You Big Gay!!;)

LMFAO :D

I wasent sure Davey if you were a guy or a girl from your last post so I went to your profile and it said one of your interests were "boobies" but then from your post I take it your a guy but your gay so I dont get the "boobies" interest and now I'm totally confused

daveywavey08

I like it up the Gary Glitter

itsallaboutheL

O.P.H wrote: »

LMFAO :D

I wasent sure Davey if you were a guy or a girl from your last post so I went to your profile and it said one of your interests were "boobies" but then from your post I take it your a guy but your gay so I dont get the "boobies" interest and now I'm totally confused

If you saw my "pecs" you wood

Khannie

daveywavey08 wrote: »

I like it up the Gary Glitter

That's such a bad trolling attempt. Seriously. Try harder next time.

itsallaboutheL

Khannie wrote: »

That's such a bad trolling attempt. Seriously. Try harder next time.

I say bring back Walt0r....

d'Oracle

On Topic.

One could arrange something with the missus.
Im sure a 200kg deadlift is great and all, but what use is that on the dance floor? None.
I'm sure all that gratuitous ass shaking in salsa dancing must be good for core stability or whathaveyou surely?

I know you saw her lookin at the blokes on strictly come dancing.
That aussie lad or Austin Healey, or Matt Dawson.

itsallaboutheL

d'Oracle wrote: »

On Topic.

One could arrange something with the missus.
Im sure a 200kg deadlift is great and all, but what use is that on the dance floor? None.
I'm sure all that gratuitous ass shaking in salsa dancing must be good for core stability or whathaveyou surely?

I know you saw her lookin at the blokes on strictly come dancing.
That aussie lad or Austin Healey, or Matt Dawson.

OH have you not heard???

Pass 200 and collect a free bird, no need to dance anymore..

g'em

d'Oracle wrote: »

One could arrange something with the missus.
Im sure a 200kg deadlift is great and all, but what use is that on the dance floor? None.

To hell with the dance floor, have you any idea of the hip drive that's needed for a 200 dl? It has it's uses. Trust me

itsallaboutheL

g'em wrote: »

To hell with the dance floor, have you any idea of the hip drive that's needed for a 200 dl? It has it's uses. Trust me

Bringing the forum into disrepute with dirty innuendo...


Banned

g'em

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

Bringing the forum into disrepute with dirty innuendo...


Banned

Jeez, I meant for gardening and hoovering and um... mopping and stuff :rolleyes:

Antisocialiser

lunge before flange!!

It should be Lunge Before Clunge!

daveywavey08

I was given an infraction for being naughty that's not fair. My humour is not liked around these parts