The Best Practical Jokes

tommmy1979

The king crisps thread reminded me of this...

Used to spend my summers working in a warehouse, we'd take turns going to the shop for lunch.. One of the lads would without fail always order a snack bar and a packet of tayto salt and vinegar crisps, so any this one time we opened the bottom of his taytos and replaced the crisps with cheese and onion and superglued the bottom of the bag shut again.. we managed to keep straight faces until he started munching into them at lunch time... i've never laughed so hard..

galwayrush

N.A.M.A. ftw.:rolleyes:

tommmy1979

galwayrush wrote: »

N.A.M.A. ftw.:rolleyes:

always reminds me of the N.A.M.B.L.A episode of south park

Senna

galwayrush wrote: »

N.A.M.A. ftw.:rolleyes:

Calling NAMA a practical joke is an insult to the word practical.

citizen_p

putting clear gelatoine in the toilet....
put a bit of water on top to make it look real...
when my mate took a s**t....he then had to scoop it all out

in his apartment obviously

admiralofthefleet

we do some terrible things in work (i work in a pub).

beer mats cut into triangles and then put in sandwiches
cigarette ash on top of soup as pepper
tabasco sauce in soup
cling film on top of pint glasses
confuse customers by asking if they want ice in their hot whiskey
confuse customers again by asking if they want fresh ice or frozen
filling jacket pockets with the contents of cigarette bins

the list goes on

GiftofGab

We crushed up a viagra and secretly put it in one of my friends drinks while on holidays........oh what a night.

marko91

involves a door and a object like a shoe....open a door in ur house a bit...put the shoe like a bit ontp of the door and abit ontop of over the door where the glass is then leave it:Psomeone opensw the door over and bang,ojbect off the head:D...cant think of any more right now

dr.bollocko

marko91 wrote: »

involves a door and a object like a shoe....open a door in ur house a bit...put the shoe like a bit ontp of the door and abit ontop of over the door where the glass is then leave it:Psomeone opensw the door over and bang,ojbect off the head:D...cant think of any more right now

Please refrain from using text speak.

marko91

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Please refrain from using text speak.

whats using u instead of you a few times?the rest is grandand whats the problem with that anyways?

admiralofthefleet

marko91 wrote: »

whats using u instead of you a few times?the rest is grandand whats the problem with that anyways?

text speak makes peoples eyes bleed

dr.bollocko

marko91 wrote: »

whats using u instead of you a few times?the rest is grandand whats the problem with that anyways?

Check the charter buddy. PM if you have any further questions.

Armin_Tamzarian

GiftofGab wrote: »

We crushed up a viagra and secretly put it in one of my friends drinks while on holidays........oh what a night.

Sounds like you got your money's worth.

genericguy

when i worked in tesco at the time the bag levy came in, old wimmin used to ask me and my colleagues to mind their trollies for them while they nipped out to get their bags. at this point me and my friend used to fcking stuff the bottom of their trolleys with condoms and ky liquid. it used to be hilarious seeing the shock/embarassment on their faces when they got to the checkout.

genericguy

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Sounds like you got your money's worth.

the joke made their day, but the repercussions made his hole weak.

donkey balls

years ago this lad my da new wanted to get hair on is chest to make him manly my da told him to rub winter green onto his chest

cardio,shoot me

text talk makes baby jesus cry.

googlefan

One time we had a class weekend away in college. We put clingfilm over the girls toilet in the hostel we booked. Classic. The reaction was priceless.

chupacabra

I shít in my brothers lunch box when we were little.

Jax Teller

my brother was sent around to shop in work with a note with few coins wrapped in it and told to give to girl behind counter cause one the lads forgot to pay her for the milk that morning , he gives the girl the note "this is a stickup give me all the money in the till , ive got a lethal weapon in my trousers and im not afraid to use it " luckily the girl knew the fellas in his job were a bunch of messers ... pretty funny though

Korvanica

Mousey- wrote: »

putting clear gelatoine in the toilet....
put a bit of water on top to make it look real...
when my mate took a s**t....he then had to scoop it all out

in his apartment obviously

Thats brilliant!

Convincing people that burger sauce will come out of the hole its supposed to when there is a massive hole in the bottom is probably one of my funniest. It (burger sauce) fell out of the fridge, broke, and a big hole appeared in the base of the bottle. He thought the sauce would come out the top.....fool....

Linkage to video!

ALso ye ole key through the top of the can trick.

The FOOL

donkey balls

donkey balls wrote: »

years ago this lad my da new wanted to get hair on is chest to make him manly my da told him to rub winter green onto his chest

Translation please! :rolleyes:

Gillo

If it's what I'm thinking off, imagine very very strong deep heat all over your chest. Years ago the shop I used to work in regularly carried out bag searches, we hit a load of tacky porno mags in one lads bag and got the security guard to check him on the way out!

Mr Freeze

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

we do some terrible things in work (i work in a pub).

beer mats cut into triangles and then put in sandwiches
cigarette ash on top of soup as pepper
tabasco sauce in soup
cling film on top of pint glasses
confuse customers by asking if they want ice in their hot whiskey
confuse customers again by asking if they want fresh ice or frozen
filling jacket pockets with the contents of cigarette bins

the list goes on

RANK.....Hope the 1st 2 weren't done to customers!!!

donkey balls

Deleted User wrote: »

Translation please! :rolleyes:

a bit of a typo moment there

anyway years ago this guy my da knew wanted to get a hairy chest to make him more manly.

my da sugested to the lad rubbing winter green on his chest would work

Sizzler

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

we do some terrible things in work (i work in a pub).

beer mats cut into triangles and then put in sandwiches
cigarette ash on top of soup as pepper
tabasco sauce in soup
cling film on top of pint glasses
confuse customers by asking if they want ice in their hot whiskey
confuse customers again by asking if they want fresh ice or frozen
filling jacket pockets with the contents of cigarette bins

the list goes on

That could be any pub in Dublin City Centre!

Salvelinus

If you know anyone going on holiday make a gun shape out of tinfoil and hide it in their carry on luggaeg.

bertie4evr

asking the mechanics apprentice to go to the shop to get some fallopian tubes

Sizzler

Shadow Bertie Ahern for a few years, put on 6 stone and then pretend you can run the country.

Now thats funny.

grundie

I telnet into our fancy HP printer at work and make it display silly messages such as Spice Girls lyrics or phrases such as "Toner Cartridge Radiation Leak - EVACUATE NOW". The IT manager is convinced our network is being hacked from the outside.

I once discovered that the announcement voices in an ex-employers lift were just WAV files store on a Compact Flash card accesible inside a box of electronics in the machine room. Oh, the fun to had with a voice sythesizser - "The lift ropes are failing, please exit the lift immediately" "I'm going to suffocate you" etc, etc. Stannah got the police involved in that one, but luckily I never told anyone it was me.

Wazdakka

grundie wrote: »

but luckily I never told anyone it was me.

We know now..
You're fired.
Please clear out your desk and stop telneting the printer..

*Assumes you are not already a victim of the recession monster

donkey balls

years ago i worked for a courier company that shipped all over the world i used to call our customer service people asking them for quotes like.

how much is it to ship a persain rug to persia or a cd to siam they would be checking through about 230 countries that they delivered to not knowing that these countries dont exist anymore under those names.

admiralofthefleet

CKWPORT wrote: »

RANK.....Hope the 1st 2 weren't done to customers!!!

regulars who can take a joke

Mr Freeze

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

regulars who can take a joke

Not so bad then....

What do they do to get you back?

Turd Ferguson

This one time I was in Portugal with some mates and as we were leaving I thought it would be funny to convince a small blonde girl to hide in his suitcase....come to think of it, I havnt seen either of them since

admiralofthefleet

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

This one time I was in Portugal with some mates and as we were leaving I thought it would be funny to convince a small blonde girl to hide in his suitcase....come to think of it, I havnt seen either of them since

i hear she is alive and well in athlone

rainbowdrop

I used to work with a girl whose first wedding anniversary was approaching. We managed to convince her that she had to go to the post office and renew her marriage license every year(like you would a dog license). Yer wan behind the counter in the post office practically laughed in her face when she went in and tried to renew it. Great fun!!

brummytom

Back in the '70s, colour TVs were becoming more affordable and popular.
Some bloke told my granny she didn't have to buy a new TV, she just bought this "colour cover" to cover the screen of her B&W tv.

Obviously, being a gullible middle-aged widowed Cork woman, she bought it... and obviously, it did **** all.


Fair play to the bloke who sold it though.. quite clever :P

---

EDIT: (Sure I already replied to this thread with this story, but it seems to have gone walkabouts )
Went on a school trip down to Coventry. We're in a coach, and pass another coach on the way; with their phone number on the side. My mate Niall rings up pretending to be a teacher from a school down the road.
"Hi.. I'm really sorry. We're expecting a coach for a trip, it hasn't showed up and we can't get hold of the company. Would it be possible to get one at short notice? ... 52 kids... [name of school].. thank you so much".

Apparently it turned up as well

McArmalite

I knew a Scottish bloke who went to Uni in Nottingham in his younger days. On Burns night ( like a Scottish St Patricks day ) he invited his English friends around to have some haggis and out for a few beers etc Thing was, he had a proper piece of haggis for himself, but made a haggis with a condom and dog food for his visitors

genericguy

my friend worked with a french girl last year who had very average english. when she comlained about having a sore wrist, himself and some other people in the group convinced her that her ailment was called "**** cramp", and she spent the next few days telling everyone what was wrong with her.

Gazza22

If crashing somewhere with lot's of people after a party

-Spit in a condom, rub a small amount of ketchup on outside
-Find some drunken passed out male asshole, every party has a few
-Pull trousers down a bit
-Slip condom in boxers
-Await awkward terrified behaviour the next morning

Works a real treat on the hardcore homophobes

Dartz

Rigged the governer on my Da's old Toyota to jam at full throttle in top gear....

He didn't get it under control until it ran out of diesel.... all the way down the M50 and halfway through wicklow,... belching black smoke.

Jeebus

Best practical jokes ever :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMHidjDB_Uk

Followed by....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7AUgp5fPI

Watch. You will not regret.

dr.bollocko

Jeebus wrote: »

Best practical jokes ever :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMHidjDB_Uk

Followed by....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7AUgp5fPI

Watch. You will not regret.

It appears they have pranked you too.

RugbyFanatic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r9dzc0duUw

demakinz

i got up one morning for work and decided to have some cornflakes,so i opened the press and took out the box.as i walked with it across the kitchen the bottom opened and cornflakes went every where... my friend had got the box and opened the the bottom flaps, took the cornflakes out of the plastic bag which he put back in without the bag.

another one which was funny, he put washing up liquid in the dishwasher just before my missus put it on.about 5 minutes later our kitchen was like a what you would see in a foam party.
the missus thought she broke it.funny times!

herisson

a guy in my school dressed up as wheres wally and hid somewhere in the school and we had to go find him but my principle foundd out and stopped it shame it was funny:pac:

luder

Putting a bag of flour into the hoover, into all the filters etc..so when someone turns it on bang, covers the room in a massive cloud.

Interceptor

I used to p1ss on my little brothers toothbrush. He used p1ss on mine. We stopped brushing our teeth for about fifteen years...

'cptr

Anberlinfan

Put a couple of tea bags through some dental floss and hang them in the toilet cistern. Then when the person flushes, brown water. This works on shower heads too, just uncap the head and put a tea bag in, then recap the head.

Also, cling film is amazing. Unscrew and toiletries with lids, place cling ffilm in and screw up again. Never gets old.

JMSE

Anberlinfan wrote: »

Put a couple of tea bags through some dental floss and hang them in the toilet cistern. Then when the person flushes, brown water

Class !

Snook up behind the wife one day when she was standing at the front door talkin to her sister and friend, got her tracksuit bottoms by the sides and whipped them down.......