guys in their late 20's

scarymoon1

Do most guys is their late 20's NOT want relationships? I met a guy recently and he went on about how he hasn't had a relationship in ages and that you should NEVER follow a guy anywhere. I got the message. But are most guys in their late 20's like this? Wanting to play around etc? Greatly appreciate insight into guys in their late 20's minds! ( if this makes sense)

Mr.David

He's Just Not That into You

Sully

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Do most guys is their late 20's NOT want relationships? I met a guy recently and he went on about how he hasn't had a relationship in ages and that you should NEVER follow a guy anywhere. I got the message. But are most guys in their late 20's like this? Wanting to play around etc? Greatly appreciate insight into guys in their late 20's minds! ( if this makes sense)

A/S/L/Pics or gtfo. Please.

That_Guy

I'm no relationship expert but..... are you asking me out on a date?

SoWatchaWant

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Do most guys is their late 20's NOT want relationships? I met a guy recently and he went on about how he hasn't had a relationship in ages and that you should NEVER follow a guy anywhere. I got the message. But are most guys in their late 20's like this? Wanting to play around etc? Greatly appreciate insight into guys in their late 20's minds! ( if this makes sense)

Pff, they're probably looking for the right girl, no offence.

Long Onion

I am afraid to say that the extent to which they are willing to get into a relationship is directly related to the hotness of the female to which they are talking - sorry for your troubles.

Turd Ferguson

I want a relationship.....I'm just soooooooo lonely

MagicMarker

There's two possibilities.

1. You're fat
2. He's gay

Ah no, I jest. Some guys just want to play the field.

AnonoBoy

guys you are talking about wrote:

dude, like, huh huh huh, she totally, like, wants me and stuff, huh huh huh.

*scratches balls*

There's an insight for you OP

You think he'd say that to Megan Fox?

Nahhh


Guys only say that to fugly monsters.

Blackpitts

I speak for myself and based on what I can see looking at some of my friends.
once a guy is 29/30 yo and single he doesn't feel like he *needs* someone else to make him happy. At this stage, we have grown up a bit, we have had our experience with girls and it's easier to be alone than "compromising" our needs with our partner needs.
What's the goal? to have an immediate satisfation and to be OK with ourselves, so a "one-night-stand" is way better than a serious relationship.
Until we meet the ONE, the girl that we were looking for. Hence we fall in love, we realize that we are grown up people and scoring slappers in the clubs is not that fun anymore. So we settle down and we don't regret anything of the past, including sleeping with random people because of beer goggles.

KerranJast

TBF most girls of the same age usually want to settle down fairly sharpish and guys that age know this. Personally I wouldn't get involved with a girl in her late 20s unless I was happy to see it through. It wouldn't be fair to mess her around otherwise.

Sully

Should be a rule of thumb against moving threads like that into other forums!

Wibbs

Guys only say that to women they're not interested in? Utter ballsology. They'll also say it, I dunno, because they just don't want a relationship. I know I have. I may have tried to get busy etc, but that was it. If I thought the woman wanted more than me I would have nipped it in the bud.


PS Mod hat on. Lets chill with the fugly BS or banning will be a coming.

Nervous Wreck

Wibbs wrote: »

If I thought the woman wanted more than me I would have nipped it in the bud.

Samezies. He's probably just being honest.

shellyboo

Beginning of this thread = why I love tLL + why we need tLL


OP, most guys that age definitely aren't thinking about settling down, in my experience... most aren't even looking for a gf, I don't think. But there are some genuine, decent guys out there who'd love a relationship - you just have to find them!

Red_Marauder

I'm a guy (early 20s) and I just hate relationships fullstop. Most guys in their 20s I know would be the same, yes.

scarymoon1

ok i probably didnt give enough information - the bit about him saying you should never move for a guy ( i was telling him about a past relationship that went wrong) and that he hasnt had a relationship is ages ( he meant sex). Yes he is into me and me him but i was wondering was he saying in a round about way that he doesnt do relationships by how he said you should never move for a guy (he was quiet sure about this) and does this make him a bit selfish?

entropi

scarymoon1 wrote: »

does this make him a bit selfish?

Speaking as a man in his late 20's...yes it does. All men are selfish, i'm not afraid to admit it though.

As for the situation, he probably just wants a bit of fun, maybe sees you as a potential fb or something. The part about never folow a guy around? maybe he had more than his fair share of clingy girls? or just doesnt want anything more than sex.

SeekUp

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Yes he is into me and me him but i was wondering was he saying in a round about way that he doesnt do relationships by how he said you should never move for a guy (he was quiet sure about this) and does this make him a bit selfish?

It doesn't make him selfish, it makes him honest for giving you what seems to be what he doesn't want/expect.

Red_Marauder wrote: »

I'm a guy (early 20s) and I just hate relationships fullstop. Most guys in their 20s I know would be the same, yes.

Now this I don't really get. Yes, there's a load of sh*t associated with relationships, but in essence a relationship is being with someone who you actually like, who makes you laugh and you enjoy spending time together, and you (probably) have sex on a regular basis. Who could have a problem with that?

iguana

Let me tell you a something about men in their late 20's. They aren't a unit and they are all different. Some would like a committed relationship, some wouldn't and as the average age that men get married in Ireland is 30, a great deal of men that age are already in one.

Raze_them_all

SeekUp wrote: »

Now this I don't really get. Yes, there's a load of sh*t associated with relationships, but in essence a relationship is being with someone who you actually like, who makes you laugh and you enjoy spending time together, and you (probably) have sex on a regular basis. Who could have a problem with that?

Because people get jealous and clingy, I like going to the pub without having to explain what I got up to and with who the night before.

madson

To answer your first question, I'm in my late 20's and would like to be a in relationship but wouldn't be in one just for the sake of it like a lot of people do. I'm pretty sure my single friends feel the same.

I think the guy you where talking to was wrong to say that all guys that age don't want a relationship. You say he is into you, its seems to me he is only into you in a purely sexual way and see's you as a potential fb as that is all he is looking for at the moment.

Nolanger

It gets even worse when a single guy is in his late 30s and there's loads of single women desperate to meet him before it's too late - for them!

I'm 28, single, male and very happy. I feel lately that I would like a girlfriend, not a girlfriend as such, more "the one". Not too confident of finding her though so I reckon I will continue to be happy out and single. As said above it's tricky at our age as many ladies want to get very serious very quickly, so there is the thing that you don't want to waste their time unless you are bananas about them.

shellyboo

Do you not think that's a bit unrealistic RoverJames? To want to find the one, but not be prepared to be in relationships in order to find the one?

I'd also say that you need to go through a few failed relationships before you know what The One is.

Clank

Red_Marauder wrote: »

I'm a guy (early 20s) and I just hate relationships fullstop. Most guys in their 20s I know would be the same, yes.

Nope I don't, most guys I know would be the opposite.

The bit about never following a guy around is a new rule of mine after the last encounter I had when I had to forcibly remove her from my house.

PK2008

Im a guy, 29 and i would defintely not be interested in a relationship. id agree with a previous poster who said that by the late 20's a guy has pretty much done the single thing (trying to pull as many women as they can) and then done the relationship thing and now just wants to do his own thing (without listening to any nagging or neediness) - if women appear along the way then grand but its not necessary as we dont have any "clocks ticking"

I think by the late twenties a guy stops listening to other people about what they want (women in particular) and starts listening to himself and what he wants

bigeasyeah

Blackpitts wrote: »

I speak for myself and based on what I can see looking at some of my friends.
once a guy is 29/30 yo and single he doesn't feel like he *needs* someone else to make him happy. At this stage, we have grown up a bit, we have had our experience with girls and it's easier to be alone than "compromising" our needs with our partner needs.
What's the goal? to have an immediate satisfation and to be OK with ourselves, so a "one-night-stand" is way better than a serious relationship.
Until we meet the ONE, the girl that we were looking for. Hence we fall in love, we realize that we are grown up people and scoring slappers in the clubs is not that fun anymore. So we settle down and we don't regret anything of the past, including sleeping with random people because of beer goggles.

Nail on the head

shellyboo

shellyboo wrote: »

Do you not think that's a bit unrealistic RoverJames? To want to find the one, but not be prepared to be in relationships in order to find the one?

I'd also say that you need to go through a few failed relationships before you know what The One is.

Maybe, but if I don't feel a zing when I meet someone I feel I'm not into them so f all point in getting into a relationship. No point going out with just anyone, I reckon many folk do though, hence why folk end up hurt and cynical about the opposite sex.

shellyboo

RoverJames wrote: »

Maybe, but if I don't feel a zing when I meet someone I feel I'm not into them so f all point in getting into a relationship. No point going out with just anyone, I reckon many folk do though, hence why folk end up hurt and cynical about the opposite sex.

Oh completely... there has to be that spark. But - does that mean every woman you get into a relationship with, you think they might be the one?

I'm just trying to figure out the mindset, really. I know lots of guys who say "I don't want a relationship right now" who will probably, at some stage, decide "ok ready to settle down now". And it seems to me that you have a lot of searching to do after you decide that...

I just don't really see why someone would rule out a relationship totally. For me, if it happens it happens.

I never said anything about ruling out relationships completely I just have no intention of going out with someone because of late I feel I wouldn't mind settling down. I am 100% open to relationships, but only suitable candidates will be considered.

cHaTbOx

Master of Nothing wrote: »

All men are selfish, i'm not afraid to admit it though.

I think everyone is a little bit selfish in essence , otherwise we would like very uninteresting lives not getting or doing what we wanted .

I think as said by iguana , men are not the same , women are not the same , nobody is the same .
Some people fall in love easily , some people don't , some people want commitment, some don't.

Even if you found out the answer to this question was that 99% of men in late twenties fear commitment , I doubt that would stop you from trying to find that 1% . So I guess all I'm really saying is good luck and I hope you find the right man for you some day.:)

Will

I'm 23, so that's early to mid 20's, sort of in limbo.

Can't speak for all guys, just myself. It's a hard thing to explain in a way. If I find a girl and I like her, she likes me and we get on well the natural progression is into a relationship I believe. All things going well and presuming both want one that is.

I have no problem getting into a relationship in the above circumstances. you get to know the other person, be there for them etc. etc. It's a great experience with lots of highs and lows, and I think you grow as a person in one.

Trying to answer your question and again can't speak for all guys, just myself. Fear held me back from getting into relationships, or even taking it any further from a first date. Had a few bad experiences with women last year and it really dented my confidence, so much so that I was terrified of letting any woman near me in more than a friends way. The fear made me shut women out, sure I would kiss them but that was it and only once. It came off that I was some asshóle and a player.

As much as some guys like to think they're invincible and un-touchable, throw a few bad experiences at them and it will rock them to their core. It did me, and tbh still a lil shook over it all.

So that's my explanation as to why some guys may not want to get into a relationship, fear. Fear of rejection, fear of letting someone in and getting hurt, fear of being taken for a fool.

Kiith

I'm in my mid 20's, and most definitly prefer being in a relationship. Now i'll admit i probably suck at long term relationships, having only really been in one. But it's something i definitly see myself being in by the time i'm in my late 20's/early 30's. Its just a matter of finding her. I have had the bad habit of thinking too quickly that a relationship is going nowhere, without really giving it a fair chance. I always kinda thought that i'd know straight away if she was the 'one'. Bit naive/optimistic maybe. I've kinda realised that it doesnt always work like that now though (though i still hold out some hope).

I dont think there are many people, regardless of sex, that dont really want to be in a relationship.

b3t4

I started going out with himself when he was in his late 20's so your rule doesn't hold out for all men in their late 20's.

Also, the majority of his friends, similar age, are in relationships so that covers that bunch of late 20s/early 30s men.

I was always of the thinking that a relationship ain't worth it's salt if you're just going out with the person for the sake of it. I tried this out for a bit and it was a pretty wasteful way to spend one's time and someone else's time to booth.

Everyone says stuff but everyone's actions don't always follow there words. I'd watch your guys actions before I'd start quantifying what he's saying. Not sure if that makes since.

Snowie

I'm 27 :eek: I'm late 20s well apparently....

I dunno, its an interesting question.
Its like this, Ive been single on and off for years never had a "real" gf.
Well not yet. I'm not ugly or anything... just never been in the one place long enough in the past 5 years, Ive been in Ireland longest presently.

I've had the gf you meet on your travels and travelling together which was nice but not all that cool, we still talk to.

For me it would bring a lot of changes in my hole life.
which is kinda scary while changes can all be good part of me wants to hold on to my current stage of life.

But if I meet a girl who i had stuff in common with and got on
well with. If things where to progress. I except that because we've got things in common, we could share experiences and things
that we have in common as well as doing are own thing..

I wouldn't be the kind of guy to just jump on any woman for the sake of having a girl friend.

Thats just naff, any way I'm a catch

Tho in ways I'm kinda happy I haven't been in a really long relationships, I think that you have to know your self before you can know others.

kumate_champ07

KerranJast wrote: »

TBF most girls of the same age usually want to settle down fairly sharpish and guys that age know this. Personally I wouldn't get involved with a girl in her late 20s unless I was happy to see it through. It wouldn't be fair to mess her around otherwise.

thats what Im worried about, I never had a longterm relationship and im 26. longest was 2-3 months when I was 18!, next was 7weeks I think, and others were just dates that went nowhere. Ive had long periods like 12-18months with not even a kiss. and I'm a good looking guy!

I went out for a drink and food with a very nice girl a few weeks ago but I dont know if it was a date or just 2 people becoming friends. I was anxious before and then relaxed when she said she had a great time and then I got very anxious later thinking she liked me and thinking about what it would be like not to be single. I was freaked out, Im ALWAYS single, I do get lonely sometimes tho. I live on my own but very close to friends.

Im confused..

Snowie

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

thats what Im worried about, I never had a longterm relationship and im 26. longest was 2-3 months when I was 18!, next was 7weeks I think, and others were just dates that went nowhere. Ive had long periods like 12-18months with not even a kiss. and I'm a good looking guy!

I went out for a drink and food with a very nice girl a few weeks ago but I dont know if it was a date or just 2 people becoming friends. I was anxious before and then relaxed when she said she had a great time and then I got very anxious later thinking she liked me and thinking about what it would be like not to be single. I was freaked out, Im ALWAYS single, I do get lonely sometimes tho. I live on my own but very close to friends.

Im confused..

Ladys of Ladys lounge and mods of ladys lounge I apoligise for mentioning this but it could be of use to the poster....
Get your self The Game bye Neil struass read it!
Don't be come a pick up merchant because its all cods wallop if you want to meet a girl then do so but it will give you some pointers to where You may have gone wrong in the past there other books out there but, there not really necessary that book has got loads of info.....
Also its very funny.

kumate_champ07

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Ladys of Ladys lounge and mods of ladys lounge I apoligise for mentioning this but it could be of use to the poster....
Get your self The Game bye Neil struass read it!
Don't be come a pick up merchant because its all cods wallop if you want to meet a girl then do so but it will give you some pointers to where You may have gone wrong in the past there other books out there but, there not really necessary that book has got loads of info.....
Also its very funny.

i have it as a pdf and ive read some of it but only as I was curious but I dont like it. too much manipulation.

if i wanted a date i could get one easily

MyStubbleItches

I'm 29 and TBH, when I was in my mid 20s I thought that I'd be settled down by now. Hasn't happened and that's fair enough. I'd much rather stay single than to settle down with the wrong person and end up in a heap of ****e in a few years time.

Among my friends there would be a fairly even split, some would like to start settling, others still want to play the field. We talk about it quite a bit and have come to the ridiculous conclusion that we can just do our thing (heading out on the lash acting the lads) for another few years until all the women that don't even acknowledge us now are desperate to find sperm donors. By then, most of us will own our own houses outright, will still look pretty much the same as we do now and they'll be falling over each other trying to nab us. Or we'll end up as 35-year-old pissheads with 5-bed houses with one half of one bedroom occupied. .

DevilsBreath

In 27 and been single for the last 2 years. Came out of a 4 year relationship and TBH never want to get back into one after the last one.

That’s just me personally. Have friends and family nagging me that I need to find myself a new GF but I’m happy the way I am.

redapple

MyStubbleItches wrote: »

I'm 29 and TBH, when I was in my mid 20s I thought that I'd be settled down by now. Hasn't happened and that's fair enough. I'd much rather stay single than to settle down with the wrong person and end up in a heap of ****e in a few years time.

Among my friends there would be a fairly even split, some would like to start settling, others still want to play the field. We talk about it quite a bit and have come to the ridiculous conclusion that we can just do our thing (heading out on the lash acting the lads) for another few years until all the women that don't even acknowledge us now are desperate to find sperm donors. By then, most of us will own our own houses outright, will still look pretty much the same as we do now and they'll be falling over each other trying to nab us. Or we'll end up as 35-year-old pissheads with 5-bed houses with one half of one bedroom occupied. .

ha! good plan, but I am not sure guys age as well as women?Especially if your on the lash! I still get ID'd its ridiculous. Im a girl and 29. As a down side though older guys look at me and think Im too young I think.

I wish my mates could have the same mentality as a group of lads our age. Alot of them are settled down like its all they ever wanted and they can now sit backa nd never go out again.I dont want to get married. I am not looking for a relationship, if it happens great and I do prefer the intimatcey of being in a relationship and really knowing a person. Its more fun and interesting. But I have no problem in having a fling for a few months and leaving it at that.

I hate being tarred with this desperate brush just because I am nearly 30 and female. Men dont get that.

There seems to be an attitude of looking down on us women like we are desperate and have a shelf life. I feel guys our age are after much younger girls. I have forgotten how old I am and still go for young looking guys as I subconciously still feel about 21!I probably need to re-aim for guys over 30, as I think the guys in late 20s can have mini crises and are so caught up in not leading girls on that its boring. (some not all).

I want my own life. I love the idea of being in a relationship but living separate lives. Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel have been together a long time and live in different apartments. And I challenge you to find a cooler couple!

redapple

Sorry I just realised I got completely off track there...

homerun_homer

shellyboo wrote: »

But - does that mean every woman you get into a relationship with, you think they might be the one?

I'm just trying to figure out the mindset, really. I know lots of guys who say "I don't want a relationship right now" who will probably, at some stage, decide "ok ready to settle down now". And it seems to me that you have a lot of searching to do after you decide that...

I just don't really see why someone would rule out a relationship totally. For me, if it happens it happens.

As a 27 year old single guy I'd be happy to get into another relationship right now but I don't desperately seek it out. I like to let things happen, though that method is also proving annoying in having to wait it out.

So going by my history of only having one serious girlfriend while everything else has been just testing the waters, having fun and stuff, then yeah it seems I may have a thing where I only enter a relationship when I am head over heels with someone, who may be 'the one'. She doesn't have to potentially be 'the one' mind you, that sort of expectation is just intimidating to both parties. At the same time I don't just want to go out with any girl I meet at the weekend because we kiss and exchange numbers.

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Get your self The Game bye Neil struass read it!

There are plenty of girls out there who would dump a guy for having read this book & I don't think I'd blame them because it screams "He's a player!!".

Snowie

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

i have it as a pdf and ive read some of it but only as I was curious but I dont like it. too much manipulation.

if i wanted a date i could get one easily

I'm not saying become a pick up merchant, I'm not saying manipulate girls into sleeping with its not something to be proud of but what I'm saying is there are some valuable peaces of reading in that book.

homerun_homer wrote: »

There are plenty of girls out there who would dump a guy for having read this book & I don't think I'd blame them because it screams "He's a player!!".

Ok so i meet a girl we get to no each other over about 6 weeks, I say hey wanna come over for dinner she walks into my room looks at my book shelf, see's the game and suddenly she says I don't want to know you any more because I choose to read a book about players ?

So does that mean when i walk into a kitchen and start harping on about
Kitchen confidential, the chef fires me there and then because of how it can to a degree depict a negative out look on chefs all around the world ?

kumate_champ07

From what I've gathered 'The Game' is a book for 'ugly' men to fool women into sleeping with them. If I wanted a bit of sex I could get it no problem.

Snowie

Really but your good looking and you have it ?

and you go 18 months with out a kiss of a girl yet you say if you want a date you can get one and you can get sex when you want it

so then whats the problem ?

homerun_homer

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Ok so i meet a girl we get to no each other over about 6 weeks, I say hey wanna come over for dinner she walks into my room looks at my book shelf, see's the game and suddenly she says I don't want to know you any more because I choose to read a book about players ?

So does that mean when i walk into a kitchen and start harping on about
Kitchen confidential, the chef fires me there and then because of how it can to a degree depict a negative out look on chefs all around the world ?

Nope. I'm just adding my comment based on what I have heard from a few different friends, acquaintances, boards posts etc. I'm not saying a girl would dump a guy after getting to know him but there would be a bunch who would be put off early on by knowing a guy would use this book as a sleazy tactic to try pull her.

Snowie

homerun_homer wrote: »

Nope. I'm just adding my comment based on what I have heard from a few different friends, acquaintances, boards posts etc. I'm not saying a girl would dump a guy after getting to know him but there would be a bunch who would be put off early on by knowing a guy would use this book as a sleazy tactic to try pull her.

I never ment it to betaken as a sleazy tactic . Like I said I don't agree with it and found it in places difficult to read because some of what he says is SAD.

what I'm saying as a hole there are some points in that book that make a lot of sense. Not from the point of a Lounge Lizard. But from the point of generally, how our minds work if you read about the point of rejection he makes its clearly very true. I'm not a pick up artist and don't have that need to be, but as hole there are some valuable points in that book that the writer has made very clear.
I mean if you've read some of that book it is gringing to read. I'm not condoning that behavior because i don't particularly agree with it, it says a lot if you have to manipulate some one into liking you wouldn't you agree ?

homerun_homer

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

it says a lot if you have to manipulate some one into liking you wouldn't you agree ?

Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you're under.