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He's back.

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,488 ✭✭✭pikachucheeks


    Ehhh he's just announced he's getting a divorce! How ironic of a publishing house to suddenly approach him to write a family cookery book!

    It'll end up being a complete train-wreck!

    Page 1: Open the Tesco meal-for-one, put in microwave and heat for five minutes. Cry into your Pot Noodle, thinking about how your slag ex-wife has ensured custody of your children while you wait.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Seriously though - of course everyone knows that he's not actually going to write this. They'll just cut and paste recipes off the internet, slap his mug on it and hope it will sell.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    I can imagine it now.

    ROIGHT LADS, HERES 'OW TO COOK A CHEESE TOASTIE;

    1 .GRATE CHEESE - I USUALLY USE MY ABS, BUT YOU FATSOS CAN USE A REGULAR GRATER.
    2. PUT THE CHEESE ON THE BREAD MATE.
    3. CRY A BIT CAUSE THAT SLUT DUMPED ME
    4. DROP PANTS AND USE THE RAYS THAT SHINE OUT OF YOUR ARSE TO BROWN THE CHEESE.
    5. PUT IT IN THE BIN 'CAUSE THERES WAY TOO MUCH FAT IN CHEESE TO KEEP THIS AWESOME BOD MATE.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Jumpy wrote: »
    I can imagine it now.

    ROIGHT LADS, HERES 'OW TO COOK A CHEESE TOASTIE;

    1 .GRATE CHEESE - I USUALLY USE MY ABS, BUT YOU FATSOS CAN USE A REGULAR GRATER.
    2. PUT THE CHEESE ON THE BREAD MATE.
    3. CRY A BIT CAUSE THAT SLUT DUMPED ME
    4. DROP PANTS AND USE THE RAYS THAT SHINE OUT OF YOUR ARSE TO BROWN THE CHEESE.
    5. PUT IT IN THE BIN 'CAUSE THERES WAY TOO MUCH FAT IN CHEESE TO KEEP THIS AWESOME BOD MATE.

    Will the book come with volume control to tone down his maddening shouting?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 909 ✭✭✭mobius42


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Seriously though - of course everyone knows that he's not actually going to write this. They'll just cut and paste recipes off the internet, slap his mug on it and hope it will sell.

    Oh I don't think they'll be hoping. You can be sure that "Take A Break" reading morons will buy this.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Will the book come with volume control to tone down his maddening shouting?

    Aussies dont have volume control.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    mobius42 wrote: »
    Oh I don't think they'll be hoping. You can be sure that "Take A Break" reading morons will buy this.

    ...wouldn't they be better off having a KitKat instead? :rolleyes:


    *gets coat too!*


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