Women: Help Me Understand Something...

Trail_Blazer

Dublin141 - I never lied about my age, probably wasn't a good idea of you to assume that. She knew full well exactly what I looked like, and how old I am. She did mention that I looked younger in person, than I do in my pics. Which I don't necessarily agree with. But each person has their opinion.

Yeah, I'm not offended at the analogy that I came off a bit like a teenager or something. That sounds about right. I was way too focused on the outcome and wanting her to like me, than I was just enjoying the date and having fun.

I'll know better next time for sure.

LegacyUser

Don't worry too much OP. She sounds like she wants to see you again anyway!

Reminds me of one of the first times I met my BF in a hotel. I was fully dolled up and he arrived in a track suit bottoms and trainers (he is 11 yrs younger than me but looks younger again) I nearly died in the hotel bar. I was convinced everybody was staring at us thinking 'what a cradle snatcher!' MORTIFIED was not the word! He, like you was very keen and I found it nice but overwhelming!

We laugh about it now.

So give the girl some breathing space, let it take it course! Good luck!

Trail_Blazer

Unregistered, thanks. It's good to know that though a bit overwhelming, you were still willing to give him a chance and stuff.

Trail_Blazer

Well just an update on this - After 5 days of her ignoring me, she finally writes me on Myspace this morning.

She says that she enjoyed our phone conversations (lasted 2 weeks before meeting) and that I'm cute and have a great sense of humour. She said that she wasn't totally into me in person, and she couldn't figure out why. She said "I can't put my finger on it".

I having previously made it clear to her I wasn't interested in just being "friends", should things not work out between one another on the phone, she indicated she remembered that and would leave me alone.

I know why she wasn't "totally into me" in person. It's because I DID come off as too desperate or imposing that day - Totally my own fault. Funny though, because if she wasn't at all into me, she would've never bothered kissing me throughout the night. I know that women her age don't do things unless they really want to - It's not like I held a gun to her head or anything.

Anyway, that's the last time I come off as "needy" or too overly concerned about the outcome of the date, all throughout.

G86

Trail_Blazer wrote: »

Well just an update on this - After 5 days of her ignoring me, she finally writes me on Myspace this morning.

She says that she enjoyed our phone conversations (lasted 2 weeks before meeting) and that I'm cute and have a great sense of humour. She said that she wasn't totally into me in person, and she couldn't figure out why. She said "I can't put my finger on it".

I having previously made it clear to her I wasn't interested in just being "friends", should things not work out between one another on the phone, she indicated she remembered that and would leave me alone.

I know why she wasn't "totally into me" in person. It's because I DID come off as too desperate or imposing that day - Totally my own fault. Funny though, because if she wasn't at all into me, she would've never bothered kissing me throughout the night. I know that women her age don't do things unless they really want to - It's not like I held a gun to her head or anything.

Anyway, that's the last time I come off as "needy" or too overly concerned about the outcome of the date, all throughout.

Guess it's just a lesson learned OP; you should be yourself of course, but no harm in taking a step back at times to suss someone out.

Trail_Blazer

Right, true. I'm not bothered - I know ultimately it'll end up being her loss anyway.

Chinafoot

Trail_Blazer wrote: »

Funny though, because if she wasn't at all into me, she would've never bothered kissing me throughout the night. I know that women her age don't do things unless they really want to - It's not like I held a gun to her head or anything.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out but I have to comment on this part of your post. Your behaviour put her in an awkward position. You can try to convince yourself that she was into it but the fact is you made a bet in order to get your first kiss, which by your own admission was a peck, and the last kiss she pulled away from. That says a lot. Chances are you made her feel uncomfortable. Couple that with your all or nothing stance towards her and it seems like you're not willing to let something just develop.

Online dating is a tough one because no matter how much you chat or email each other you dont really know that person. You need to take things easy when you meet up in person. Don't force things or expect anything. As Shelly said it's a lesson learned and if you try again with someone else I really hope for your own sake that you remember this experience and take things much more slowly.

Best of luck.

Trail_Blazer

I agree with you to an extent Chinafoot - But again, a 36 yr old woman doesn't kiss me if she doesn't want to. I presented the wager to her initially - She could've said "Let's try something else" which would've indicated she wasn't all that interested at all. It's happened before, the opportunity for her to say "No" was there. Nothing was forced at all - I've had women say "No" to said bet, and I've also had them cut me off, when I went in for the kiss too.

Maybe she felt pressured.... That's possible. But again, I didn't force anything, and I honestly believe she didn't do anything that she didn't wanna do. I even asked her later "Do you kiss all your first dates, if things go well for you?" - She indicated that she did not. She also stated (on the date, at that time) that if she didn't like me or whatever, she wouldnt've accepted the bet.

The overall imposing manner I came off in, I BELIEVE is probably the reasoning behind what made her mind up, by blowing me off for 5 days (which was completely rude on her part) before contradicting her previous agreement to hang out with me, and tell me she's not into me via a Myspace message.