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There's a badger in my boiler

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    #62
    kraggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    Senna wrote: »
    FFS, be a man and punch it between the eyes, Chuck Norris style

    Stop badgering the witness!


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    #63
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Hmmmm, should be done on that side, need to turn it over to cook evenly through!


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    #64
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 13,434 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Your garden looks like the one from Outbreak!


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    #65
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    It's prob not a real badger - just this guy from the fancy dress thread:
    antodeco wrote: »
    I was at a fancy dress party last night. I went as a badger. Unfortunatley, I got fair drunk and couldn't find my house keys. Decided to walk for a bit, but it got cold. Hopped over a garden wall and decided to sleep in my neighbours boiler. The door locked behind me though. I'm now stuck in here. What's worse is my neighbour keeps looking in at me and won't let me out. I'm getting concerned as he's walking around the garden putting sticks in his trousers :eek:


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    #66
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Whatever you do: do not accidentally walk under a ladder with a pot of white paint on it.

    If it were to accidentally fall on you in a striped pattern, the badger could fall in love with you and start doing that french kissing motion up and down your arm.


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    #67
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Put your car keys on a stick and dangle them in front of him. Maybe he'll take them bait and use your car for a swift getaway. When he does call the Gardai and report it stolen.

    Seeing as he's a badger he probably doesn't have a full driving licence and they can do him for driving un-accompanied.

    Sorted ;)


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    #68
    ZappaFrank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 135 ✭✭ZappaFrank


    Have you solved the problem yet?

    Trust me and i know trust me is a big ask, but the bagder is more affraid of you then you are of it. open the dorr and slowly walk away, he might not leave straight away but he will leave, he won't touch you, trust me!


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    #69
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    Throw some glue and swan feathers on him, then tell your Polish neighbours you've captured dinner.


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    #70
    truecrippler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭truecrippler


    Bring it in so yous can tandem-fap.


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    #71
    Zadkiel
    Registered Users Posts: 687 ✭✭✭Zadkiel


    You need to lure him out with a woodpecker, they are their favourite food.
    If you don't have your own you can most likely borrow one from a neighbour.


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    #72
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    gerky wrote: »
    Blah blah ... helpful stuff blah blah..


    If the OP wanted helpful stuff he woulda posted over in the animal forum. He clearly fancied an evenings entertainment, and was kind enough to share with us. A quality AH poster will always make sacrifices for the good of the forum, even if it results in hospitalisation and possibly death.

    /salutes Url



    Go finish your **** son.


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    #73
    nibtrix
    Registered Users Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭nibtrix


    stovelid wrote: »
    If it were to accidentally fall on you in a striped pattern, the badger could fall in love with you and start doing that french kissing motion up and down your arm.


    Ha Ha, Pepe Le Pew FAIL


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    #74
    c - 13
    Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    Right op you've bagged the toughest one - all you need now is a rat, a mole and a toad and you'll have...


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    #75
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    nibtrix wrote: »
    Ha Ha, Pepe Le Pew

    Amazingly enough, I was cognizant of this analogy when I wrote the post.


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    #76
    gerky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭gerky


    Abigayle wrote: »
    If the OP wanted helpful stuff he woulda posted over in the animal forum. He clearly fancied an evenings entertainment, and was kind enough to share with us. A quality AH poster will always make sacrifices for the good of the forum, even if it results in hospitalisation and possibly death.

    /salutes Url



    Go finish your **** son.


    My post was more aimed at the complete rubbish posted as actual replies then the OP's post, for god's sake this is AH I didn't even think it needed to be said to finish fappin.


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    #77
    Fratton Fred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,567 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    Is a badger boiler some sort of Culchie version of fatal attraction?


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    #78
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,314 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Forky wrote: »
    Somehow, this might help

    Aagghh! It's like being rickrolled.


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    #79
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Hss this Badger being caught freed yet ?

    Do you know anybody with a Staff or a Rottwiler URL .;)


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    #80
    Scrambled egg
    Registered Users Posts: 383 ✭✭Scrambled egg


    Hey Url wasn't it you who found a man is his kitchen recently? Maybe you should lock the doors .:D


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    #81
    jum4
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭jum4


    Be very carfeful OP,

    I once fell into a bush (slightly pissed) disturbed a badger, he lashed out and with his "paw?" clawed though my jeans, still have the scars on my leg!


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    #82
    laugh
    Registered Users Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭laugh


    Abigayle wrote: »

    Go finish your **** son.

    "Ok mommy"


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    #83
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    laugh wrote: »
    "Ok mommy"

    Who was talking to you?! Now go tidy your room or you're grounded for a week :mad:


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