Has anyone considered getting their tubes tied?

teaspoon

I know it's a tricky topic for everyone but I've put a lot of thought into it and I am 99.9% certain I will be having my tubes tied in the next few years. I'm not in a rush to do it but ultimately I will do it. I'm still young (26) and I know that a lot of women have the 'oh just wait and see youll change your mind' attitude but I know myself and although I don't want to make a huge deal out of it I want to be taken seriously. I have felt this way for a long time about it and I don't want ONE more person to tell me it's just a 'phase'. I'm getting a bit frustrated about it and trying not to get pissed off but it's been bothering me for about a year and a half now!

I'm just curious to see what other ladies think about it? I have friends with children and I love them - I love children in general and it isn't anything to do with that. I just dont want to have my own. For many reasons. Obviously its a complex issue and it isn't an easy decision to make. I have told a few close friends and even those who know me well find it hard to take seriously. Are women really that set on having babies that when a friend of theirs says they have decided otherwise it comes as a shock? Even more so, why do they feel like they can judge me and make me feel as though i'm 'missing' something? One friend said to me 'god you have issues'. It's stuck with me. How do you respond to something like that? If I were a guy in my mid 20s and decided that at 30 I wanted a vasectomy would I get the same reaction??

Are there any other girlies out there who agree? Even a healthy disagreement I would welcome as opposed to the reactions I have gotten from 'friends'.

Cheers
tsp.

Nevyn

Yes but I can't and niether can you unless you wish to travel to another conutry to get it done.

I inquired about it after I had my second child and was told I would have to be 25 with 5 kids to be considered or wait until I was 35 with two kids and then apply and it can take between 1 to 2 years to be seen by a consultant and assessed and that is going private.

In the U.K. you can apply for it at 21, with no kids and have it done with in a year and it's free.

If you don't want to have kids then that is your choice and honestly tubal ligations can be reversed if you really did reconsider
but I think that your choice should be respected.

bronte

Hey , I have!
I believe they do it in the UK for women over 25 with minimal fuss.
Obviously a lot of thought goes into a decision that big, but if it's what you want then so be it.
I get grief from people too which I don't really understand as the decision doesn't affect them.
People get quite angry and I've been called various things.
I'll never understand it.
Your business is your business.

fintonie

why tie tubes jasus theres loads of ways mangle your body why makes no sense

fintonie

bronte wrote: »

Hey , I have!
I believe they do it in the UK for women over 25 with minimal fuss.
Obviously a lot of thought goes into a decision that big, but if it's what you want then so be it.
I get grief from people too which I don't really understand as the decision doesn't affect them.
People get quite angry and I've been called various things.
I'll never understand it.
Your business is your business.

not on boards

teaspoon

Are you serious??? WOW Ireland come on!! That's unbelievable. And, just as a matter of interest, do you know what the deal is for guys here who want the snip?

Thank you for the support - it's the first genuine response I've gotten! If there is anyone on boards who has had it done and can maybe shed a light it would be appreciated as I find it is hard to get ppl to talk about it (no shock considering most of those women have moved to the UK!)

tsp.

bronte

fintonie wrote: »

not on boards

What is that supposed to mean?

bronte

teaspoon wrote: »

Are you serious??? WOW Ireland come on!! That's unbelievable. And, just as a matter of interest, do you know what the deal is for guys here who want the snip?

Thank you for the support - it's the first genuine response I've gotten! If there is anyone on boards who has had it done and can maybe shed a light it would be appreciated as I find it is hard to get ppl to talk about it (no shock considering most of those women have moved to the UK!)

tsp.

I'm not sure but I think they can get it at 23...not entirely sure though.

Jules

fintonie if you have nothing to add to the conversation dont post at all.

esharknz

bronte wrote: »

Hey , I have!
I believe they do it in the UK for women over 25 with minimal fuss.
Obviously a lot of thought goes into a decision that big, but if it's what you want then so be it.
I get grief from people too which I don't really understand as the decision doesn't affect them.
People get quite angry and I've been called various things.
I'll never understand it.
Your business is your business.

I get angry remarks even when I say I'm not sure I want children!!!! They are, after all, a huge responsibility and not one I'd like to make lightly.
I don't see how it's anyones business. I quite honestly wouldn't batter an eyelid if someone had made the decision for tubal ligation. It doesn't affect anyone elses chances of having kids, does it?

bronte

esharknz wrote: »

I get angry remarks even when I say I'm not sure I want children!!!! They are, after all, a huge responsibility and not one I'd like to make lightly.
I don't see how it's anyones business. I quite honestly wouldn't batter an eyelid if someone had made the decision for tubal ligation. It doesn't affect anyone elses chances of having kids, does it?

Exactly! The crap I get thrown at me over this is really strange.
I mean what difference does it make?!

sarahlulu

I have three children and can tell you what a huge responsibility they are!! Certainly not for everyone. Would definitely consider getting tubes tied now though, as I have no intention of having number 4!

Nevyn

http://www.vasectomy.ie/
http://www.ifpa.ie/eng/Info/Fact-sheets/Male-and-Female-Sterilisation

fintonie

Jules wrote: »

fintonie if you have nothing to add to the conversation dont post at all.

ok no bodder if you want to hear just the positives I should leave sry if I seemed to be rude

Fugly

I've known since I was a teenager I wanted it, Of course the usual you're too young, I'm 21 now and I know I'll have to wait for years. In this day and age it's a disgrace how hard it is to get done.

I know I could change my mind but let me make my own "mistake", It can be reversed or I could always adopt.

rainbow kirby

I really hate this country's attitude to female reproductive health sometimes. It's ridiculous the hoops that pretty much have to be jumped through here for this, and totally unnecessary.

I've no intention of ever having children, not sure if I'd bother getting my tubes tied though.

teaspoon

Thaedydal wrote: »

http://www.vasectomy.ie/
http://www.ifpa.ie/eng/Info/Fact-sheets/Male-and-Female-Sterilisation

Wow again! So a guy can mosey down to Salthill and get his vasectomy no probs and we have to make an overseas trip of it? Yeah because that makes sense....Welcome to 2009! Thanks for the links though it's interesting isn't it? I'm a North American so I will most likely be going home when the time comes. Shame because there seems to be as many women here as anywhere else who would like the option nearer to home.

i think the angry reaction probably just comes from the whole idea that women grow up, get married, and make babies. Which is cool IF that's your thing. I guess we are programmed a certain way and anything that challenges that or sets someone apart from the pack is hard to accept. But the hostility is something that just gets to me. I tried explaining it to my OH and, (luckily! ) he gets it. He was raised in a family with 11 siblings and I suppose for him it's a matter of too much too early on! He would be happy to get the snip but I've been adamant that it's MY choice to have the surgery on myself. A personal thing maybe...

sunstar

teaspoon what would happen if you fell pregnant by accident?its just the finality of it...you ever hear the expression you always want what you cant have?

teaspoon

To be totally honest, falling pregnant by accident would be my worst nightmare realised. I am completely serious about NEVER wanting to be pregnant. I would not have a child. Period. Until I'm able to have a permanent method of contraception I'll use everything out there!
I see what you're saying though - how do you know what you really feel about something until you experience it. I think it's about planning and being as prepared as possible and if something unexpected happens...you go from there and learn about yourself. I am just hoping I never find myself in an 'unexpected' situation!
The finality of it is a big deal - but I think I want to make a conscious decision on such a huge topic and not just end up pregnant because the time is right or everyone else is doing it etc. I have known a few woman who have had babies and although they adore their children they do have that 'how did i get to this place' feeling about it. I don't get the feeling that they they can say this to many other women though. They'd probably get the same reaction I do for saying I don't want kids! it's just not 'acceptable'. We are ALL suppose to WANT to make babies and LURVE it!

Nevyn

Getting an I.U.S. fitted is the same as having your tubes tied but it lasts for 5 years and then you have to have it replaced and you will need to find a dr/gyn who can and will fit one to a woman who has not yet had kids.

The Big Red Button

Thaedydal wrote: »

Getting an I.U.S. fitted is the same as having your tubes tied but it lasts for 5 years and then you have to have it replaced and you will need to find a dr/gyn who can and will fit one to a woman who has not yet had kids.

Tell me about it ... due to medical issues, there is no other type of contraception* suitable for me at the moment or in the near future, and the doctor will not fit one for me in case it would affect my future fertility. I can honestly say I'd rather take that risk and deal with the consequences in a few years, than risk getting pregnant now.

Personally I think I want kids someday, so I wouldn't consider the procedure. I definitely would consider it once I had my children - wouldn't want more than 2-3. I'm just shocked at how difficult it would be to get it ... 5 kids at the age of 25, wtf!? Talk about a nanny state ...



*Yes, we use condoms, but I've always considered them to be additional back-up to be used in conjunction with the pill or whatever.

bronte

Thaedydal wrote: »

Getting an I.U.S. fitted is the same as having your tubes tied but it lasts for 5 years and then you have to have it replaced and you will need to find a dr/gyn who can and will fit one to a woman who has not yet had kids.

Feck. I was thinking of either that or tubes tied.
I thought there'd be no hassle getting an IUS fitted. Kinda like the injection?

minidazzler

bronte wrote: »

Feck. I was thinking of either that or tubes tied.
I thought there'd be no hassle getting an IUS fitted. Kinda like the injection?

If IUS is the thing commonly known as the bar, installed in the upper arm, then you shouldn't have too much trouble getting it, I have a friend she got that done when she was 17.

bronte

It's fitted in the womb afaik.

we'llallhavetea_old

isnt getting your tubes tied a bit extreme?? (i have no idea what the procedure involves by the way!) but i think maybe just stick to contraception until maybe the procedure is more widely available and not such a pain in the bum getting it (no pun intended!)

Fugly

Due to the female reproductive organs being internal, it'll always be invasive and uncomfortable. It's why men can have the snip and be fine in a week and we would take a few weeks to recover.

I think most women who want it, want the reassurance of the finality, with other contraceptives pregnancy can occur, a rare but real possibility.

With oral contrapception,the bar, the injection and coil, there's upkeep and health concerns. I.e not being able to stay on the pill for too long, plus there maybe an increased risk for cancer. Also for some due to travel/lifestyle it may be difficult to be through with treatment.

I know personally due to health complications that I am greatly restricted in what contraceptives I can use, and unfortunately for me those that I can use cause me unpleasant/uncomfortable side effects. So it would be a relief for me, both physically and emotionally. And I'm sure I'm not the only woman who's in this situation.

bronte

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

isnt getting your tubes tied a bit extreme?? (i have no idea what the procedure involves by the way!) but i think maybe just stick to contraception until maybe the procedure is more widely available and not such a pain in the bum getting it (no pun intended!)

I'm sure it would be if you weren't 100% sure. If you are though, it's nice to have as much peace of mind as possible.

Nevyn

minidazzler wrote: »

If IUS is the thing commonly known as the bar, installed in the upper arm, then you shouldn't have too much trouble getting it, I have a friend she got that done when she was 17.

No the I.U.S. is not the implannon bar which goes in the arm.

The I.U.S. or inter uterine system which is the Mirena which is not the coil.
http://www.womens-health.co.uk/mirena.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrauterine_system

JessQuinn

the OP is a government operative. S/he is "raising awareness" of this issue, sparking "social debate".

Sterilization has long been on the agenda for everyone. There is a campaign underway to depopulate the planet.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/22/2549917.htm

Not one of you have called out the OP on this. Everyone is not your friend, we are not "all in this togeather".

shellyboo

Girlies, anyone in Dublin needing a number for an excellent doctor who'll fit the IUS even if you haven't had kids can PM me. My doc is a women's health specialist, she's really excellent and she had no problem prescribing the Mirena for me.

MadgeBadge

My friend (who's 35) had her tube tied earlier this year. She had a difficult time convincing her GP, but once she did she was sent off and had it done within three months.

She does have two children already, so perhaps that made a difference.

bronte

JessQuinn wrote: »

the OP is a government operative. S/he is "raising awareness" of this issue, sparking "social debate".

Sterilization has long been on the agenda for everyone. There is a campaign underway to depopulate the planet.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/22/2549917.htm

Not one of you have called out the OP on this. Everyone is not your friend, we are not "all in this togeather".

I ain't so worried. For every kid I don't have, little Jimmy and Janice scumbag will have 10.
Sterilization is a personal choice that should be though about long and hard before going ahead with any procedure.
Don't you think that post was a tad paranoid?

Curvy Vixen

chatterpillar wrote: »

Tell me about it ... due to medical issues, there is no other type of contraception* suitable for me at the moment or in the near future, and the doctor will not fit one for me in case it would affect my future fertility. I can honestly say I'd rather take that risk and deal with the consequences in a few years, than risk getting pregnant now.

Personally I think I want kids someday, so I wouldn't consider the procedure. I definitely would consider it once I had my children - wouldn't want more than 2-3. I'm just shocked at how difficult it would be to get it ... 5 kids at the age of 25, wtf!? Talk about a nanny state ...



*Yes, we use condoms, but I've always considered them to be additional back-up to be used in conjunction with the pill or whatever.

If you want the Mirena fitted then call the Well Woman Centre in Lwr Leeson St.

I was 31 with no children and had the Mirena fitted there and had the second fitted 5 years later. It's not free but had no hassle at all with them doing it.

Morgase

The OP could be me talking!

I've always known I never wanted to reproduce. I've asked my doctor about getting my tubes tied but she felt I was far too young (I was 26/ 27 when I asked). I don't want to still be on the pill when I'm 30 so I might do some research into getting it done in the UK.

The Mirena sounds a bit scary but I don't know much about it. I'd just like to be sterilised permanently - but as was said this country and its attitudes towards women who don't want to make babies are a bit odd to say the least.

Doghouse

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

If you want the Mirena fitted then call the Well Woman Centre in Lwr Leeson St.

I was 31 with no children and had the Mirena fitted there and had the second fitted 5 years later. It's not free but had no hassle at all with them doing it.

+1 for the Well Woman. I'd an IUD (non-hormone copper coil) fitted in the Liffey St Centre when I was aged 29, having had no kids.

Malari

Morgase wrote: »

The OP could be me talking!

I've always known I never wanted to reproduce. I've asked my doctor about getting my tubes tied but she felt I was far too young (I was 26/ 27 when I asked). I don't want to still be on the pill when I'm 30 so I might do some research into getting it done in the UK.

The Mirena sounds a bit scary but I don't know much about it. I'd just like to be sterilised permanently - but as was said this country and its attitudes towards women who don't want to make babies are a bit odd to say the least.

I had a similar conversation with my doc recently. She said Mirena would be the best for me, but that really I shouldn't worry, being on the pill. I could probably remain on it for another few years but after that I don't think it's recommended.

I feel a bit uncomfortable about the invasiveness of the Mirena system. I'd prefer not to have anything inserted in me. I suppose I'll have to consider it at some stage though

The Big Red Button

JessQuinn wrote: »

the OP is a government operative. S/he is "raising awareness" of this issue, sparking "social debate".

Sterilization has long been on the agenda for everyone. There is a campaign underway to depopulate the planet.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/22/2549917.htm

Not one of you have called out the OP on this. Everyone is not your friend, we are not "all in this togeather".

You'll fit right in here!

pikachucheeks

I've never considered it, but that's most likely because I'm only twenty!

I haven't thought about having kids and I definitely don't want them at this stage in my life or in the next few years.

I have other priorities at the moment, namely finishing my degree, working my way up the career ladder.

But maybe at some stage in the distant future, I'll want children. I'm always changing my mind about things, so for that reason, I don't think I'd consider the option of getting my tubes tied.

Birdie086

Haven't considered anything as final as getting my tubes tied, but I do enquire almost every time I go to the doctor for my pill about the mirena and he doesnt entertain me at all. I am 27 and a lone parent to one son. I like the idea of the mirena as I woud havet ime on side in five years if I have met someone and would like more.
As for people reactin when you say you dont want kids - I get the opposite from my frineds when I say I want more in the future. I suffered form mild depression for the first six months of my sons and life and even though I breasfed him I had no bond with him whatsoever. I changed in to a horrible person to be around but I am glad to say I love him to bits now though and am back to myself.

stella09

Im 24 had my son last year, I was on the pill for years before hand but after i had cian i said i wasnt goin back on the pill so i got the Mereina put in, it wasn very pleasant but i have had no problems & like that you can take it out whenever!! its a lil more less talked about then gettin your tubes tied because some people hear that & are like woow, which isn the case! Its your decision all the way whether you single or taken, my fiance was at me for a long time before i decided ok im ready to be a mother & in sayin that i would change anything now! but its a big decision & a big responsibility...

Maddison

From the time I got my first period I recall telling my mam that I wanted my womb removed, I was that set on not having kids. My dad actually brought me to get the pill & I ased the doctor about getting my tubes tied...he laughed. I had my son at 19 & when at one of my post natal appointments I asked the Ob if I could have the proceedure done, he said that at my age I wouldnt be considered for the operation. To be honest now Im not too sure, there are some days where I get quite broody for a bro or sis for my lil dude then other days where I think NEVER AGAIN. I definately think that womens opinions in Ireland with regards to contraception are completely ignored. WE have the right to choose what we do with our wombs. Why the hell should our so called government stop us from choosing not to breed? As for those that spout the whole religious/evolution thing.....let them do the breeding....leave our wombs & what we choose to do with them alone.

Handsome Bob

teaspoon wrote: »

I'm still young (26) and I know that a lot of women have the 'oh just wait and see youll change your mind' attitude but I know myself and although I don't want to make a huge deal out of it I want to be taken seriously. I have felt this way for a long time about it and I don't want ONE more person to tell me it's just a 'phase'. I'm getting a bit frustrated about it and trying not to get pissed off but it's been bothering me for about a year and a half now!

You know how to show them it's not just a "phase"? Stop talking about it and take action.

Novella

I wouldn't say I've ever seriously considered it but the thought has crossed my mind a few times. I'm only twenty so I know that the only answer I'm going to get at this stage is "Wait and see how you feel in a few years". I'm pretty sure I know how I'll feel in a few years 'cause it would take something REALLY special to make me wanna go down the pregnancy route again.

SuperTyper

I asked my GP last year about getting this procedure done. She basically said I would be better getting the coil fitted (which I did) as its quite hard to convince them to tie tubes. I'm 38 with two kids. Have no intention of having more kids.

enol

Birdie086 wrote: »

Haven't considered anything as final as getting my tubes tied, but I do enquire almost every time I go to the doctor for my pill about the mirena and he doesnt entertain me at all.

I know, I'm late to this thread..:o
With reference to the above quote, that is infuriating to read that your doctor does not 'entertain you':eek: as if your form of contraception is the doctors choice and not yours?? But it rings a bell, I've been asking about sterilisation since I was 23 with no success... After going through a load of doctors who all tried to fob me off with one hormonal contraceptive after another, (which all had horrible side effects and failed-TWICE) I eventually got a refferal to get a copper coil fitted. But I had to stick to my guns, doctors in this country seem way too happy to just prescribe hormones in one form or another, rather than listening to what a woman who does not ever want children really wants - a permanent solution to not getting pregnant!
However, I have since found out from various research that litigation cuts off the blood & nerve supply to ovaries, which can mess up things with a womans hormones too, but a doctor would never tell you that. So in that sense, I'm glad I didnt rush into it. So my advice would be: Dont take everything your doctor says as gospel, do your own research, but do it well! And if you think something is right for you, then stick to your guns and dont let a doctor fob you off with something that you're not 100% happy with.
As for other peoples opinions on women not wanting to have children, the most annoying one has to be when people tell you that you dont know if you'll change you mind in a couple of years, as if you dont know your own mind already:mad:. Or the annoying family member who keeps telling me: "Never say Never" But the funniest one I heard was from a male doctor in his late 40s, who also, didn't have children. I was asking him about sterilisation, and he said "I've heard having children is a bit like breaking wind, you can stand it if its your own" - Patronising, but funny:D

Anton.Mamyko

teaspoon wrote: »

- I love children in general and it isn't anything to do with that. I just dont want to have my own.. Are women really that set on having babies that when a friend of theirs says they have decided otherwise it comes as a shock? s'.

Cheers
tsp.

heh, i was just asking the same question....as i have the same mindset
and i see there are some women that dont want children.
good luck!

Anton.Mamyko

Originally Posted by JessQuinn
the OP is a government operative. S/he is "raising awareness" of this issue, sparking "social debate".

Sterilization has long been on the agenda for everyone. There is a campaign underway to depopulate the planet.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2...22/2549917.htm

and you problem with this is?????
we are like bacteria that are at the growth stage and the earth is the petri dish. We are raping the planet!
http://images.google.ie/imgres?imgurl=http://davechu.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a5dd83cd970b0120a60be4d2970b-800wi&imgrefurl=http://davechu.typepad.com/flow/&usg=__goygjecozqQwtTXWyJp3y5TXHSk=&h=400&w=400&sz=19&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=Ro-9G_mm-PL7wM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbacterial%2Blife%2Bcycle%2Bchart%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26hs%3DOFz%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

sam34

enol wrote: »

However, I have since found out from various research that litigation cuts off the blood & nerve supply to ovaries, which can mess up things with a womans hormones too, but a doctor would never tell you that.

what? i never heard that before. can you provide a link to this research please?

enol

sam34 wrote: »

what? i never heard that before. can you provide a link to this research please?

It was months ago when I was looking into it, I don't remember the name of the sites, just that one was a forum a bit like this one, except in the US somewhere, where (some) women who had it done had hormone-imbalance type side effects afterwards, another site was a doctor/diagnosis/health type (again, US) website that pointed out the same thing. I didn't wanto t take 'Dr Googles' word for it, so ran it by a girl I know with whos a qualified Irish nurse who had worked in a maternity ward for years, she knew about it and bascically confirmed it for me, saying it was one of the reasons she didn't get it done herself.:eek:
If you type "sterilisation/litigation side effects" into google and go through a few of the links you'll find it. I remember I didn't have to look hard.

sam34

enol wrote: »

It was months ago when I was looking into it, I don't remember the name of the sites, just that one was a forum a bit like this one, except in the US somewhere, where (some) women who had it done had hormone-imbalance type side effects afterwards, another site was a doctor/diagnosis/health type (again, US) website that pointed out the same thing. I didn't wanto t take 'Dr Googles' word for it, so ran it by a girl I know with whos a qualified Irish nurse who had worked in a maternity ward for years, she knew about it and bascically confirmed it for me, saying it was one of the reasons she didn't get it done herself.:eek:
If you type "sterilisation/litigation side effects" into google and go through a few of the links you'll find it. I remember I didn't have to look hard.

i googled it, found the link where it's mentioned but i basically found no sound scientific evidence of it, it all seems a bit scare-mongering, tbh.

anatomically it doesnt make much sense either.

Nevyn

Very much sounds like scaremongering used by right wing anti contraceptive christian evangelical groups.