WTF is wrong with some old people?!

Local-womanizer

That_Guy wrote: »

Fine. Back to my "Grab a granny night" down the local disco.

I find it easier to go to bingo halls and make a trail of brown bread back to my house.But make sure you have Emmerdale or Corrie on so they watch that,then capture them with a blanket and put them into a rocking chair.Works wonders!

orourkeda

I'm of to my local "nab a tranny" night at my local disco

That_Guy

orourkeda wrote: »

I'm of to my local "nab a tranny" night at my local disco

They should call that the disco "The Mystery Box"

brummytom

My nan used to be great at giving compliments.. we called it a stage whisper.

Mom meets her doctor in town
Nan: Who was that?
Mom: Oh that was just my doctor
Nan: (with doctor in earshot) JAYSUS, SHE'S AWFUL FAT FOR A DOCTOR!"


or a great one to my moml
Nan: Oh Yvette, you don't look as fat in that top

bug

Play evil granny one against nice granny two, therefore turning evil granny one into nice granny one.

Sing granny one's praises about "x" issue in front of granny two.

e.g. 1

i.e. EVIL GRANNY " Oh that one Sally is an awful be-atch"

YOU, "funny, nice granny one, gets along great with her and never says a bad word against anyone, isn't she great, with her in a home and all"

e.g. 2

EVIL GRANNY " I have a sore leg and it's killin me, oh woe is me"

YOU "funny nice granny one has the same varicose vein throbbing sensation, but she is so good about the nurses that change her bandages and says they take the pain away with their kindness"

In short, older generation women do not like being compared.
And, yes, keep it up.

Jesus Wept

People (yes, even old people) are different, some are cúnts.
They don't automatically turn into Werthers Originals candidates.

Expresso Bongo

So OP basically what you're saying is that if you're a lazy, selfish moany bollix then you are guarenteed to llive a long and healthy life? OK, willdo.

stovelid

You're not getting your ball back.

I knifed it.

speedscot

I bet these old ladies are no different to when they were young. The cranky old gal was probably a ball-breaker all her days. I'm a right b*tch and I plan to get more successful at it as I age. Chin chin!

Wibbs

Expresso Bongo wrote: »

So OP basically what you're saying is that if you're a lazy, selfish moany bollix then you are guarenteed to llive a long and healthy life? OK, willdo.

Pretty much, especially the selfish bit. My family live to great ages and I've noted that. Theyre not moany, but they are somewhat selfish and self sufficient. Maybe that's why they live so long. They're not affected as much by lifes hassles. When you're 90+ you've seen a load of mates go before you and if you were really impacted by that you probably wont live so long from stress.

Jesus Wept

Wibbs wrote: »

When you're 90+ you've seen a load of mates go before you and if you were really impacted by that you probably wont live so long from stress.

The ones that live the longest are those that treat it as a game, a last longest game, they cross off the names of other old people who die from their list of phone numbers and they devour obituaries.

Usually anytime you mention somebody by name, they exclaim something like: 'Who? Agnes? Is she dead?!'

Blazer

Local-womanizer wrote: »

You can have one of mine:p

If she looks like Sarah Palin (GMILF) I'll take her

http://scavenging.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/sarah-palin.jpg

Fracture

She's just cranky because she wants a bit of action, its probably been a while.