Non-religious, but asked to be godparent

LegacyUser

what to do. i am completely non religious. i am officially catholic as i was babtised confirmed but do not attend religious service and have no time for the church. i respect other peoples opinion and need for religion completely but my opinions are well known and i never go to service. now it has been hinted at that a relation may ask me to be the godparent to their new baby. i love the fact that they would want me, its a complete honor of course. but i fell its disrespectful of their religion for me to be godparent - i don't believe at all in god for example. i don't want to cause offence either way. i feel completely uncomfortable reciting religious stuff that i am not apart of. what should i do? i'm confused and don't want to offend people i love but i don't know which would offend more - to regect their offer or be godparent with no respect personally for the church they are a part of?

dsmythy

Just to be clear. Are the baby's parents religious at all?

implausible

I'd say a lot of people are in your boat, you're just very open about your lack of faith.

Being a god parent isn't just about religion, it's about being a big part of and an influence on the child. There's also the idea of being responsible for the child if anything should happen to the parents. As you say, it's an honour and I'm sure your relative is aware of your beliefs and still wants you to do it.

If you're asked, you should explain your position and ask your relative if s/he still wants you to do it.

poisonated

well you say that you respect other peoples opinion and need for religion.you say that you are honoured by the thought.Personaly I dont think being a god parent is as religion based (if that makes sense) as it probably used to be.I think it is more of a honour and a social thing.I could be wrong though...that is just how I feel btw this is coming from a not very religious man

niceoneted

I am like you, baptised a catholic but am totally non religious. I do attend weddings/funerals - but I would do this regardless of religion - although I don't take part per say in the ceremony.
I am a godparent to 2 of my 6 nieces and nephews. I see it as a roll where they have an adult that they can turn to for advice and help that is not there parent. ( they are now 16 -boy and 10 - girl). They have come to me over the years for all sorts of things. I spoil them for there birthdays - spending a day with them buying a present and going for lunch - and christmas. I don't live near either but talk to them frequently.
I explained to there parents at the time that I was not interested in the religious end of things and off my feelings of the church but they didn't mind. I also ensured I could take an active roll in the kids lives.
All of my other 4 nieces and nephews wish I was there godparent. The parents of the two that are reckon I have had a profoundly positive effect on there kids lives. I think this is what is most important and not the religious end of it - if you can get over that.
Another note is that all of the other godparents that were picked for the 6 kids are all supposedly religious but they take no part in the kids lives.
If the parents of the child are aware of your feelings on religion and are happy for you to still be godparent I would do it.

tangerinepuppet

niceoneted wrote: »

I am like you, baptised a catholic but am totally non religious. I do attend weddings/funerals - but I would do this regardless of religion - although I don't take part per say in the ceremony.
I am a godparent to 2 of my 6 nieces and nephews. I see it as a roll where they have an adult that they can turn to for advice and help that is not there parent. ( they are now 16 -boy and 10 - girl). They have come to me over the years for all sorts of things. I spoil them for there birthdays - spending a day with them buying a present and going for lunch - and christmas. I don't live near either but talk to them frequently.
I explained to there parents at the time that I was not interested in the religious end of things and off my feelings of the church but they didn't mind. I also ensured I could take an active roll in the kids lives.
All of my other 4 nieces and nephews wish I was there godparent. The parents of the two that are reckon I have had a profoundly positive effect on there kids lives. I think this is what is most important and not the religious end of it - if you can get over that.
Another note is that all of the other godparents that were picked for the 6 kids are all supposedly religious but they take no part in the kids lives.
If the parents of the child are aware of your feelings on religion and are happy for you to still be godparent I would do it.

+1

I have two godsons and I agree with all of this. Being asked to be a godparent is a huge honour and (IMO, and especially these days) it has much more to do with being a positive influence in the child's life in a practical sense than with policing their spiritual welfare.

I would explain the situation to the parents if they ask you to be a godparent. Also let them know that you understand how privileged you are to be asked. I don't think they'll change their minds if they have alreay decided they want you for the job, and it is highly unlikely that your lack of religion will affect your ability to be a great godparent.

RealJohn

Fair play OP for having the integrity to at least acknowledge that you might not be a good choice as a Godparent.

First and foremost, being a Godparent is a religious matter. God is in the title (not by accident) and it is a role taken on as part of a religious ceremony. The duties of a Godparent aren't exclusively religious and indeed, I don't think a non-religious person can't be a Godparent but they have to accept in accepting the role that the time may come that they have to take a course of action they don't necessarily believe in or agree with as part of the role - specifically, to guide the child in matters of faith if their parents are not able to do this for some reason. This does not mean to try to change their faith but it does mean that they must encourage that child to follow the religion set out for them at the time of their baptism without any agenda of their own.

OP, if you don't feel you can do this, you should probably, in as polite a manner as possible, decline any invitation to be a Godparent.

Meh..im a recent godparent myself..Nowhere near a catholic, although spiritual(in a scientific sense)..imo, consider this an honour..disregard the fact that the word gods in the title..its just a word..someone decided you deserved a special role in the life of their child..its half an hour in a church..and maybe another half hour in 10 years..you'l get over it..

stainluss

non_practicing wrote: »

what to do. i am completely non religious. i am officially catholic as i was babtised confirmed but do not attend religious service and have no time for the church. i respect other peoples opinion and need for religion completely but my opinions are well known and i never go to service. now it has been hinted at that a relation may ask me to be the godparent to their new baby. i love the fact that they would want me, its a complete honor of course. but i fell its disrespectful of their religion for me to be godparent - i don't believe at all in god for example. i don't want to cause offence either way. i feel completely uncomfortable reciting religious stuff that i am not apart of. what should i do? i'm confused and don't want to offend people i love but i don't know which would offend more - to regect their offer or be godparent with no respect personally for the church they are a part of?

I don't think this has much of a religious element.
The ceremony does take place in a church, but as the childs godfather you will always have to be there for him (like a cool uncle)
It goes beyond religion. Go for it!:)

Overheal

You can always explain your position to the parents. It may well be that they are aware of your stance and have chosen you because you would be the most open minded. That is, you being responsible for the childs religious upbringing, would do so without any pretense. Talk it over with them and see what they wish to do, given all the facts. In some ways you may be the perfect godparent. As an atheist in the hypothetical position of a godparent, I wouldnt imagine myself not at least explaining to a child what I understood about religion. After all its not my job to impose my belief system on a child: its my job to make sure they have all the facilities to make those choices for themself, as far as im concerned.

Terodil

I don't exactly know what your feeling on this is, OP, so I'll go out on a limb and say what I would think about in your place. Consider it and decide if it's applicable to you or not.

I'm not fond of the Christian faith, at all. I don't appreciate the way the Church tries to get their hands on the kids when they cannot decide for themselves. To me, baptism at such a young age is the religious equivalent to rape. The kids have no say, cannot object, and don't know what they're getting themselves into. Somebody else is taking that decision away from them and setting them up for an early life of indoctrination.

As much as I would appreciate the gesture, that the parents would want me to have the 'special place' of godfather for their child, I could not bear being part of this. Besides, I do not think that being a good influence on the child itself requires the label 'godfather'. You can always do what you want to do without bearing the label in front of you.

So I personally would respectfully decline and say that you'll be there for the kid in form and function, but will pass on the 'godfather' title. I'd join the party after the ceremony itself.

dudara

It's an honour to be asked but I would probably decline on the grounds of not being religious.

If you accept the role of a Catholic godparent, then you're accepting a very particular gig. You're accepting a religious role in the life of the child (i.e. Reject Satan and all that ). Anything else is just paying lip service, and it doesn't sound like you're into that.

Though, to be honest, a lot depends on how religious the parents are. If they're not religious, but getting the kid baptised because it's the norm, then they probably aren't considering the religious nature of the godparent role themselves.

Riskymove

stainluss wrote: »

I don't think this has much of a religious element.
The ceremony does take place in a church, but as the childs godfather you will always have to be there for him (like a cool uncle)
It goes beyond religion. Go for it!:)

I agree

while there is a specific role for a godfather in religious terms, most modern day (involved, lapsed or whatever) catholics approach it from that point of view

I am godfather to my nephew who lives abroad but he has another godfather who is a family friend where they live...who is not even catholic

seahorse

I wouldn’t do it if I were in your shoes. I know someone who hasn’t set foot inside a church since the last wedding/christening/whatever she was at and relishes the fact that she was recently asked to be a godmother. She's probably forgotten the words of the 'hail Mary' at this stage but of course that doesn’t matter as she doesn’t see religion as having anything to do with it! :eek: I think it's pure hypocrisy on her part to be honest.

Penn

I'm also not religious. If I was asked to be a godparent, I would say yes. In a heartbeat. Its a great honour. The fact that I am not religious shouldn't change things. But with regards to the role of a godparent, religion-wise, I would just do whatever the parents wanted, and respect their wishes. Ultimately, in this day and age, thats what being a Godparent is about.

Zulu

My understanding (as a god parent) is that you're supposed to be a "moral" guide.
The fact that you respect other religions is a key factor. You can give the growing child a level and respectful opinion, which is whats important.

Dave!

Is it a necessity to recite the religious stuff at the ceremony? I think they usually do the whole 'do you reject satan?' thing, don't they... I know there's some leeway for weddings for example, so is it possible for baptisms also?

Zulu

I didn't have any problem saying I rejected satan.
If you don't believe, why whould you have a problem saying you reject it? ???

Blazer

I think religion is all a load of bull..but I'm still godparent to my nephew.
My brother couldn't give a rat's ass about the church either..it's all just to keep the schools etc happy.
Much like Communion and Confirmation...the kids only love it for the cash they get..

My advice...do it..suss out if the parents are big on religion and if not accept without a doubt.
If they are explain your reasons and ask would they reconsider but tell them you'd be honoured regardless.

Dave!

Zulu wrote: »

I didn't have any problem saying I rejected satan.
If you don't believe, why whould you have a problem saying you reject it? ???

Cos it's disingenuous and embarressing to have to get up and verbally reject something you don't believe in, particularly if those present are aware that you don't believe it. Might as well get up and say you reject the boogie monster.

Perhaps it wouldn't feature in the minds of others present, but it would in mine, and that's why I'm asking.

CDfm

Strictly speaking a Godparent sponsors the child to enter the Church and should be a Catholic baptised and confirmed.

I dont think they need to be a regular Church goer but should not be antagonistic to the Church.So believing in God would be a requirement. The Godparent sponsors membership of the Church and the role is really historical and ceremonial.

So yes - you would need to recite the "Reject Satan" wording.

It is a welcoming into the Church as a community a bit like the Bestman at a Wedding really.

If you have no religious objections its a real honour to be asked as the parents are saying well this person is a role model and like in the old days if we were picking some to look after the child if anything happened us -its this person we would want.

Many Churches overlook the strict rules but some don't. I was at a Baptism where someone sniggered that the Godfather didnt believe and who said neither did the parents and it continued anyway.

Im with Dave! on this but from the other side I believe that if you take on a role with involvement in a childs religious upbringing you should at least believe.

Zulu

Dave! wrote: »

Cos it's disingenuous and embarressing to have to get up and verbally reject something you don't believe in...

Well, you can either suck-it-up, or not go to the church.

I'd no problem sucking-it-up.

rs

So, I'm not religious either and have no time for the church. My children are baptized, but only to keep my wife and her family happy (and avoid potential school issues in the future).

Ideally, I'd prefer if my children had nothing to do with the church, and I look forward to the day that the church is completely removed from state sponsored education in Ireland.

My brother is god-father to my eldest son. He, like me, has no belief in organized religion. To me, being a godparent is accepting responsibility as a moral guide to the child, and more importantly someone who would mind my son should anything happen to me.

To me, the religious aspect of it is simply and ancient ritual I have to endure.

So, my advice is, talk to the parents and explain your position. See what they think.

It's also important to note that they don't specify which Satan they want you to reject.

Maybe it's

The band: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan_(band)
The fish: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan_(fish)
The film: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan_(film)

My brother had similar issues when he became a Canadian Citizen. He had to pledge allegiance to the Queen. They did not specify which Queen so he just assumed he was pledging allegiance to the band.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_(band)

So he was cool with that.

non_practicing wrote: »

what to do. i am completely non religious. i am officially catholic as i was babtised confirmed but do not attend religious service and have no time for the church. i respect other peoples opinion and need for religion completely but my opinions are well known and i never go to service. now it has been hinted at that a relation may ask me to be the godparent to their new baby. i love the fact that they would want me, its a complete honor of course. but i fell its disrespectful of their religion for me to be godparent - i don't believe at all in god for example. i don't want to cause offence either way. i feel completely uncomfortable reciting religious stuff that i am not apart of. what should i do? i'm confused and don't want to offend people i love but i don't know which would offend more - to regect their offer or be godparent with no respect personally for the church they are a part of?

LegacyUser

CDfm wrote: »

I dont think they need to be a regular Church goer but should not be antagonistic to the Church.So believing in God would be a requirement. The Godparent sponsors membership of the Church and the role is really historical and ceremonial.

So yes - you would need to recite the "Reject Satan" wording.

.

I am antagonistic to the church and I am agnostic verging on atheistic and I am a Godparent. And I am de-listing myself as a Catholic.

I sat in church and never recited the "Reject Satan" wording.

philologos

OP: I would advise you to say that it is very nice of them to offer, but to decline. A Godparent is someone who is meant to be a spiritual advisor to the child while it is growing up and someone who is meant to be a witness of faith to them so that they will retain faith. If you do not value faith yourself it is unlikely that you will be able to serve this role to anyone else.

You would also have to lie in church concerning faith in Jesus Christ and God. If you are to be truly honest about who you are and what you believe, this isn't the best option.

Just my 2 cents, best of luck OP

CDfm

nfnasd wrote: »

I am antagonistic to the church and I am agnostic verging on atheistic and I am a Godparent. And I am de-listing myself as a Catholic.

I sat in church and never recited the "Reject Satan" wording.

Thats entirely up to you. You shouldnt have acted as Godparent IMHO.

I can see the arguments from both sides but do think if less people did sham baptisms we would have a freer education system with more choice for non-believers and their children too.

So yes to what Dave! says as it has integrity.If more people declined being sham Godparents maybe the sacrament would have more meaning.

unreggd

I've been dropped in this box myself!

As others said, I was baptised, but I dont believe in any religion at all, and I'm completely open about my lack of belief.

My sis had her first child last week, text me 2 days ago asking me to be godfather. I explained that it's not that I dont want to, but I'd feel silly, as personally I'm sort of strongly against religion in general, BUT, I always respect other peoples beliefs.

My brother had his first child a month ago and also asked me, I explained the same and he was fine & understanding

So she text me back saying my name is already down on the form as godfather, and that the christening is this weekend!

She didnt if check if I COULD go [I work every weekend] let alone if I wanted to do it

She seems shocked I'm saying no, and keeps saying "It will mean a lot to me"
But I cant believe this, because only 5 weeks ago she said shes not a true believer, and will have the child christened "just in case". We also discussed my strong disbelief, so it's in no way news to her

Also stated how it would look if I said no to my brother, but yes to her

I've now been forced into this situation, where if I don't comply, I'll be seen as the bad-guy, as if I'm somehow rejecting the child. I'm her uncle, so I'll be there for her for guidance/support anyways!

It's just really frustrating! I know I've done nothing wrong, and have my right to refuse, but I still feel guilty sayin no

mailforkev

unreggd wrote: »

So she text me back saying my name is already down on the form as godfather, and that the christening is this weekend!

Only one person is at fault here mate, and it's not you. Don't be bullied into anything.

This whole thing is probably one of the few situations where the atheist and devout catholic see eye to eye. Both sides would be better if these sham baptisms were ended. We wouldn't have the religious influence meddling in government/schools/hospitals etc. and they could have a better church full of people who actually genuinely believe.

CDfm

I am a believer and I think you are on the right track. If your sister was sincere in her belief she would not ask you -if you have a genuine objection.

EDIT - Do you know if there is a particular reason why she chose you ? Favorite brother or something???

You also should have a word with your brother and ask his opinion.

I am not going to let any cat out of the bag here when I say new Mums are a bit loopy for a few weeks and there even is a medical term for it that I can't remember but take that into account -so don't be to harsh on her reaction to you.

unreggd

I guess I'd be their fave as we're all scattered the last few years and Im the only one good at keepin in touch, so we'd be a bit closer

But 2 of my brothers are abroad, and she hasnt been gettin on with the eldest bro, so its really only me left as the option

I'm grateful I was asked (or not :P)

But they're doin it as a technicality as opposed to a part of their beliefs

CDfm

unreggd wrote: »

I guess I'd be their fave as we're all scattered the last few years and Im the only one good at keepin in touch, so we'd be a bit closer

But 2 of my brothers are abroad, and she hasnt been gettin on with the eldest bro, so its really only me left as the option

I'm grateful I was asked (or not :P)

But they're doin it as a technicality as opposed to a part of their beliefs

Its better not to be put in the spot in these things. As you are -there may be very little you can do other than go with the flow.

Her reason might even be potential school enrolement.

Its ashes and sackcloth for you if you are found out

Ever2010

As I have now defected from the catholic church I can't be a Godmother but I was asked for my best mate's son and refused - politely of course. You are standing in a church making a promise about the child's catholic faith - so if you don't believe and won't guide the child in the teachings of the church then you cannot fulfill the role. Therefore I think it's hugely hypocritcal to accept. But that's just my opinion!

My friends were fine about it - they completely understood. But I did consider it an honour that they wanted me to be a huge part of his life.

unreggd

Ever2010 wrote: »

You are standing in a church making a promise about the child's catholic faith - so if you don't believe and won't guide the child in the teachings of the church then you cannot fulfill the role. Therefore I think it's hugely hypocritcal to accept

Agree 100%

Also, if the parents were serious about the religion, they would want someone who will fully fulfill the role

But I did consider it an honour that they wanted me to be a huge part of his life

As did I. But in my case, I'm the childs uncle, so I'd be guiding/supporting the child anyways

pollypocket10

Personally, I don't the churches definition or the people on this boards opinion on what a god parent is matters.

IMHO what is important is the parents definition of what a God parent should be and what role you should play in the childs life. I would speak to them about this and if they are comfortable with your beliefs and you comfortable with what they would expect of you then go ahead.

Many people in Ireland have been raised catholic but no longer practise & don't consider themselves religious. A lot of the time they just go along with christenings for reasons that have nothing to do with their beliefs. They want to keep the grandparents happy or make sure they don't have trouble getting into schools. In some cases it wouldn't even occur to them not to have their child christened because it is the norm here.

Nevertheless, they still want to choose someone who will play a special role in their childs life. It doesn't mean they want you to follow the catholic definition to a T.

I'm not a practising catholic and don't believe in the church. I do believe in god, but I won't be having my baby christened. I still want to have someone who will play a special role and offer guidance when needed whether it be spiritual, moral, religious or whatever. I may choose to call this person a "god parent" and it's what it means to me that's important.

Ever2010

pollypocket10 wrote: »

Personally, I don't the churches definition or the people on this boards opinion on what a god parent is matters.

I may choose to call this person a "god parent" and it's what it means to me that's important.

You can choose to call this person what you want of course - but if you choose a catholic baptism and a "godparent" and make promises to a catholic God etc etc - then it does matter what the church's definition is, because that is what you're accepting.

I think the idea of having a friend or someone to be your child's moral guidance etc (not an official Godparent) is a great idea.

pollypocket10

Ever2010 wrote: »

You can choose to call this person what you want of course - but if you choose a catholic baptism and a "godparent" and make promises to a catholic God etc etc - then it does matter what the church's definition is, because that is what you're accepting.

I think the idea of having a friend or someone to be your child's moral guidance etc (not an official Godparent) is a great idea.

I think you're wrong, it's just a ceremony. It might be really important to some people but to others who aren't as religious it's just words and is forgotten about after the ceremony.

To those people what is important is what happens after and the role the person will play in the childs life.

I know it may seem hypocritical to some, but if you don't believe in the vows you are making and the parents are ok with that then you're just going through the motions of the day.

unreggd

pollypocket10 wrote: »

I think you're wrong, it's just a ceremony. It might be really important to some people but to others who aren't as religious it's just words and is forgotten about after the ceremony.

To those people what is important is what happens after and the role the person will play in the childs life.

I know it may seem hypocritical to some, but if you don't believe in the vows you are making and the parents are ok with that then you're just going through the motions of the day.

It is hypocritical

The keyword of Godparent is GOD

You make the promise to God, and the priest, and you promise to do your guidance in the way of the catholic church

The point we're trying to make is that if the parents accept you as a non-believer, and know you wont follow all parts of the promise you make, then it can't have full meaning to them in the first place

Also, its about the need to have things like this witnessed under a religion

Like commandments. As an athiest, I have none, but I dont steal or kill, because I know right from wrong, and I learned that myself

Same for marriage. Its primarily a legal agreement, then only secondarily a religious ritual
Are vows made to one another any less than the same vows made under God?

pollypocket10

unreggd wrote: »

It is hypocritical

The keyword of Godparent is GOD

You make the promise to God, and the priest, and you promise to do your guidance in the way of the catholic church

The point we're trying to make is that if the parents accept you as a non-believer, and know you wont follow all parts of the promise you make, then it can't have full meaning to them in the first place

It might not have the meaning that the catholic church would give it but it may have other meaning. The churches meaning isn't any mored important that the parents.

Also, other religions besides the catholic church have god parents and different gods. Outside of the catholic churches definition, there are other "official" definitions of what a god parent is. Why can't the parents have their own?

unreggd

pollypocket10 wrote: »

Also, other religions besides the catholic church have god parents and different gods. Outside of the catholic churches definition, there are other "official" definitions of what a god parent is. Why can't the parents have their own?

Yes, they have other definitions because they're different religions. For example, in Judaism, a godparent is a man who holds a boy during the circumcision ceremony, and a woman who takes the baby from the mother to have this done.

The parent's can't have their own definition, because they're slaves to a religion. You have to follow it exactly as its preached, its not a pic & mix. Thats the whole point.

Irish people seem to think havin one foot in the door (by being baptised, and identifyin as Catholic, but never praying, or attending mass) will still let them reap the benefits of a supposed afterlife.
Yes, Im sure the ultimate, divine entity of all time will fall for that :rolleyes:

If a parent wants their own version of a Godparent [which wouldnt be called a godparent. Guide / Mentor better suited] they could have it outside of a church

pollypocket10

unreggd wrote: »

The parent's can't have their own definition, because they're slaves to a religion. You have to follow it exactly as its preached, its not a pic & mix. Thats the whole point.

They are not slaves to religion, they have free will and can make up their own minds about what they choose to believe. They don't have to follow the rules who were set by "MEN" (and not GOD btw) as if their souls depended on it.

unreggd wrote: »

Irish people seem to think havin one foot in the door (by being baptised, and identifyin as Catholic, but never praying, or attending mass) will still let them reap the benefits of a supposed afterlife.
Yes, Im sure the ultimate, divine entity of all time will fall for that :rolleyes:

Or maybe they just believe that being good people, treating others well and leading honest lives is enough to get them through the pearly gates. IF there is an afterlife then I'm sure being a good person is infinitely more important than going to mass.

I'm sure that if there is a heaven the it's only going to be the churchgoing catholics that get in... the rest of us heathons and agnostics with all be burning in hell :rolleyes:

unreggd wrote: »

If a parent wants their own version of a Godparent [which wouldnt be called a godparent] they could have it outside of a church

If they want to call it a God Parent then it will be called a God Parent. None of the religions have purchased the rights to that phrase!

LegacyUser

You'll be standing in Church and making vows.
So if your word means anything then you don't make a vow lightly.

You wouldn't stand in Mass and take wedding vows lightly.

So at the Christening and the priest asks do you reject Satan and then make lifelong promises, does it mean nothing to you as a non-believer?

You should be honored that you were asked, politely decline it

There is more to it then being the cool Aunt or Uncle

unreggd

pollypocket10 wrote: »

They are not slaves to religion, they have free will and can make up their own minds about what they choose to believe. They don't have to follow the rules who were set by "MEN" (and not GOD btw) as if their souls depended on it

You should if you identify as part of the religion. The whole point of a religion is that you believe the meaning/point of life is to worship the God, by following the rules/practices. And that in return, you will be rewarded with an afterlife.

God didnt create anything, men created god.

Or maybe they just believe that being good people, treating others well and leading honest lives is enough to get them through the pearly gates. IF there is an afterlife then I'm sure being a good person is infinitely more important than going to mass

But Im a good person and Im athiest. If I'll get into heaven like this, then why bother havin religion at all?

I'm sure that if there is a heaven the it's only going to be the churchgoing catholics that get in... the rest of us heathons and agnostics with all be burning in hell :rolleyes:

<snip> I have muslim family and Jewish friends and they're all 100% in, none of this "just in case its actually real" lark

If they want to call it a God Parent then it will be called a God Parent. None of the religions have purchased the rights to that phrase!

Again, common sense / logic should prevail here. Having the keyword God means its directly related to the religion, so its stupid to have a non-religious-based guide for a child, then call them a Godparent

IrishEyes19

<snip>

:OP, I say agree to be the godparent, you were chosen because you are important to that child now, not because of your faith, as Im sure the parents would have already thought that through.

Ickle Magoo

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unreggd

Sorry I meant to say in my own experience!

Boskowski

Sorry didn't bother to read the thread so not sure if this was said.

Anyway. Where I'm from is not a very religious place and neither am I but for us godparent not only has the meaning of aiding in someone's religious upbringing but is also a commitment of sorts to look after the child if something happens to the parents which is a sign of massive trust. You wouldn't ask just anyone for this and I think it weighs much heavier than the other thing.

unreggd

I agree, but I just dont feel comfortable taking on the role under an organisation I'm actively against

As far as Im concerned, I will 100% be there for the child no matter what

Its messed up to think I'd dodge guardianship by saying "well, im not the godfather, its not my problem"

I just dont get why people think a person-to-person promise is less than going through the religious ritual

CDfm

unreggd wrote: »

I agree, but I just dont feel comfortable taking on the role under an organisation I'm actively against

As far as Im concerned, I will 100% be there for the child no matter what

Its messed up to think I'd dodge guardianship by saying "well, im not the godfather, its not my problem"

I just dont get why people think a person-to-person promise is less than going through the religious ritual

Guardianship is a totally different and hypothetical situation. Both parents would need to be deceased and legally as a godparent you would have the same standing as anyone else unless specified by the parents as a testamentary guardian (in their wills)

So yes it is fine to say -no matter what-life is not like that.

A godparents role is different and its to look after the spiritual upbringing of a child if the parent cannot. Thats what it is strictly.Thats what you sign up to while culturally it may be different.


I met my godmother only twice as a child and godfather a handful of times and they had absolutely no influence whatsoever on my upbringing. Its a symbolic role nowadays really.

So unregg dont think it is something it is not and if others (practicing catholics)look on it as purely symbolic maybe you are setting too high a standard for yourself.

If on the other hand you feel that by taking part in the ceremony it takes you beyond the symbolic role and you want to take an active role in the childs religious upbringing then that is a different matter i.e. I am godfather so I will make sure the baby is brought up catholic.

I feel that on one hand you want to be practical and pragmatic and keep your sister happy but on the other hand if your sister and hubby got hit by a meteorite and you were left handling the spiritual upbringing of the child thats a different matter.

Whats the likelyhood of it ever going from symbolic to reality and morally if it did happen would you be happy to delegate the matter to the schools or whoever as to you thats what it would entail.

Most people do not worry about it cos it is purely hypothetical.

unreggd

Well Im working on Sunday morning, and havent spoken to my sister in a few days, so I wont be there

I wont be a godfather, but will offer just as much support and guidance, if not more, as an uncle

Thanks for all the input peoples!