Feeling safe whilst home alone

Faith

What do you do to feel safe at night when you're home alone? I never really minded it in my college apartment, but I hate it now that I'm back at my parent's house. It's quite isolated and freaks the hell out of me! I leave lights on upstairs and down, I leave the place messy so it looks obvious someone is home, and I turn lights on and close curtains in unoccupied bedrooms. I also have a hockey stick beside my bed, just in case! I can never decide whether to put the alarm on or not. It's not connected to the police, and is prone to go off randomly. I think I'd die if it went off when I was on my own during the night! Maybe I'm just overly paranoid though. Do you take any extra measures when you're alone?

Vain

My Dad gets up really early for work and this one morning he pressed the wrong code for the alarm and it went off, I jumped out of bed ready to pick up a weight bar and run down stairs when I seen the clock and realised it was only my Dad getting ready for work. He turned off the alarm quick enough, but took ages for my racing heart to slow down, I dont think I fell back asleep after that.

CathyMoran

It freaks me out too, I also would get my husband to give me the vest that he has worn the day before and I would sleep on his side of the bed and hug it until I eventually get to sleep. I would also have an alarm going off every few hours to make sure that things are OK and my husband will ring me first thing in the morning to make sure that things are OK.

Jesus Wept

Close the door.

sadhbhc15

I live alone and have to say it doesn't bother me in the least. I never have any lights on at night cos need complete darkness to sleep. Tbh I never really thought about being vulnerable to break-ins, etc. I have a dog that sleeps indoors so I suppose he might deter some intruders, even though he's a useless guard dog!
Obviously you have to be sensible (lock doors, etc.) but I think if you worry too much about something that could happen, you'll just completely freak yourself out.

allandanyways

Funny this thread should come up, my parents and sisters have just come back from a 6 day holiday, during which I've been home alone.

I don't think I'd mind living on my own in an apartment or a small house, but our family home is pretty big and in the arsehole of nowhere, so I was pretty freaked out. This is the second time I haven't gone away with my parents but last year my OH was here with me, so didn't really feel it.

Between the wind and the thunderstorms I was up and down the stairs all night checking if windows were locked or where the banging was coming from, e.g. One night I could here this banging upstairs when I was downstairs and I got freaked thinking some coulda climbed in the window or something, and it was just the wind making the window bang, there was me at my bedroom door with a knife and all (don't ask why, I probably would just give the knife to the potential burgler out of fear :rolleyes:)

I feel safe when my parents are home, or when my OH stays with me, but see that, being home alone in a big house in a road prone to break-ins? Feckin nerves were shot. Rang my dad twice at 4oc in the morning cos I thought I could hear something downstairs, and it was something falling in the dishwasher, rang my mum in tears one morning cos I thought I left the front door key on the hall table and it was in the door (forgot I'd gone out to lock the gates just before I went to bed), and my poor fella got numerous phonecalls of me freaking out....

Hate it. I did all the stuff you do Faith, leaving lights on in other rooms, leaving the radio on upstairs, closing curtains and putting the alarm on at about 7oc in the evening.

Going away at the same time as my parents next time. Not able for that.

Trinity

I dont mind it so much now but when i first moved into an apartment with my son when he was 4, i was terrified!

It was a ground floor 2 bed apartment. I would normally leave the hall light on so it would shine in my bedroom or the bedroom lamp.

One night the alarm went off and I jumped out of my sleep, reached over to turn the lamp on, and it wouldnt turn on, :eek: the place was in darkness completely with the alarm going off. I have never been so so terrified in my life i was convinced someone was in the apartment and had cut the electricity (i'm extremely paranoid )

I thought my heart would come out of my chest it was beating so hard and fast but like any good horror film i of course had to investigate and go turn off the alarm that was in the hall, go get some candles in the kitchen by feeling my way along walls, i was convinced i was going to touch a hairy arm or something

I cant describe the feeling, hopefully i will never feel it again i thought i was having a seizure i was shaking so bad. Turns out the esb went which set off the alarm.

I stayed up til dawns first light though i was still too scared to go back to sleep then i had to get up for work about 15 mins later

emeraldstar

Interesting. I've never been scared when home alone, either my college home or my home home ...seems like it's something common though?!
I don't see the point in worrying. I just do as I normally would do when there's someone else home too.

honey79

I always lock the bedroom door and spend half the night listening to the sounds of the house im worse if in a different house then get no sleep at all :eek:

SeekUp

I'd be the same in that it's never bothered me being alone in a dorm or an apartment, but in a house I'm a lot more . . . aware.

My OH works nights now, so I'm used to going to sleep alone. When I get ready to go to bed, I'll turn all of the lights on in the house and go room by room, checking closets, under the futon, behind the shower curtain, etc., and make sure I'm there by myself. Then I'll go ahead and turn all of the lights off except one, which I leave on for him. We have a door to a deck in our bedroom, so when I go to sleep, I'll lie in a way so that I can see both that door and the bedroom door.

I've been known to sleep with the fireplace poker next to the bed, but with my new routine, I don't really feel the need to do that anymore.

SarahSassy

I am in the midst of it.... I am worse during the winter with the long evenings but if my Oh is away I put on the alarm asap (as soon as I get home so I am sure there is no on there), pull down the binds in certain rooms and have the timers on through the night. Am getting better at it and it just takes time.

Nervous Wreck

My little bro goes straight to the tool-box and carries around a hammer when he's home alone. If he hears the door opening, he'll pick up the hammer just in case.

My older sister does the same thing except she uses a carving knife from the kitchen instead of a hammer.

Personally, I like being home alone and having some time to myself so I'm usually pretty chilled.

YT

Four houses in our area have been broken into in the last couple of months, I never liked being in the house alone anyway, but now that I am here alone most days I have gotten worse.

I've taken to carrying a little sharp vegetable knife around with me :eek: But I do have a baseball bat aswell.

A friend suggested to buy a big dog kennel to give the impression there is a big dog in the house!

sam34

ive lived alone for years, and it doesnt bother me.

i lock the front door again as soon as i'm home, but i just think thats common sense.

when i go to bed i double check the front and patio doors are locked, and i go into each room to close the windows.

i dont purposely leave lights on, but sometimes i fall asleep while reading and so the light would be on all night.

i do sleep with the bedroom door open - probably a mix of there being no need to shut it as i dont have housemates and the fact that i would be alerted straightaway if there was a dodgy noise or something.

kizzyr

emeraldstar wrote: »

Interesting. I've never been scared when home alone, either my college home or my home home ...seems like it's something common though?!
I don't see the point in worrying. I just do as I normally would do when there's someone else home too.

Me too. I'm amazed how many people are scared when home alone

QueenOfLeon

I've never really been scared when im in the house on my own, and we're in an isolated enough area....total opposite when im babysitting, even though most of the places are in the middle of towns. Something about being somewhere unfamiliar, but when it gets to that stage when the kids are in bed, im sitting watching tv and then i start to hear the house creaking or something....cant count the number of times i've been absolutely convinced theres someone upstairs Aswel, not knowing the neighbours and knowing your only contact is kids under 8....doesnt do much to ease the nerves

Dudess

As others have said, depends on the location. A built-up area, no bother. I'm happy as larry when I'm alone in my apartment but it's in a very built-up area, obviously lots of neighbours are in close proximity, and it's not ground-floor either. Plus, I think a dwelling being quite small and compact makes things feel safer.
However, a fairly big house which is quite secluded and isolated (i.e. my parents' place): I couldn't do it. Fairly paranoid and irrational really as it's highly unlikely a particular house where the person is alone is going to be targeted out of all the other houses... but it's not impossible either. Colossally improbable but ever so slightly possible. That's what my thoughts would always come back to, no matter how much I'd try to rationalise things.

Tip though: I don't think it's a good idea to leave a number of lights on during the night as that could look too much like trying to make it appear as if there are people there (which it is ) whereas if there really were people there, they would be asleep and their lights switched off. Also, I think if there's at least one car there, it takes the edge off things. Closing all the curtains is a very good idea.

The Big Red Button

I'm so unfreaked out by it that I actually have to set an alarm on my phone for about 11 at night to make sure I remember to lock the doors - someone else usually does it most of the time!

I actually love getting a night in with the house to myself, it so rarely happens.

However I do sleep with a rape alarm hanging on my bedpost every night - whether I'm home alone or not - just in case! Like, never mind if someone broke in - what if I was really sick or something and couldn't leave my bed? Also mine is the only bedroom downstairs in my house, so everyone else seems really far away. Also - the height of paranoia - I test the alarm every few weeks, just to check it's still working. I've never had to use it though, thankfully!

Clare Bear

I'll be doing it for the first time next weekend when my boyfriend goes to Liverpool with his friends. My parents might be coming up to stay but if not I think I'll be okay, I don't really get spooked but I find it hard to sleep without him now.

If it's at home at my parents' house it's a different story. They live in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but land and a few houses and there's a big forestry at the end of the garden at back of the house so it's very creepy looking. It doesn't help either that the dogs bark if a leaf falls outside so I bring all the dogs in to the house to keep them quiet and for protection (not that they'd do anything if someone did break in, they'd proabably lick them to death!) I hate staying at home on my own in their house but have rarely had to. It's a million times worse in the country, everything is scarier after dark.

idontknowmyname

doesn't bother me at all, but used to work with a girl who lived in a rural location. Herself and hubbie built their dream home and as he was a salesman was away every now and again. She refused to sleep there on her own as she said she didn't feel safe as it was so isolated. Always had to ask a friend to stayover or stay somewhere else, felt really sorry for the girl as this was supposed to be her dream house. Nothing ever happened there also.

ztoical

Never been scared living on my own, prefer being on my own then having people around to be honest. Have lived in the back end of the country and in the middle of New York, apartments, college dorms, and houses, never any worries. Half the time I leave my front door unlocked cus I can't remember where I put my keys and the back downstairs window open so the cats can come in and out.

Acacia

I love it during the day, when I have lots of space to myself. At night though it can be scary... but only because I watch too many horror films. After I watched 'The Ring' I had to cover any TV's in the house when I was on my own, in case any creepy little dead girls crawled out of them...:pac:

I suppose I really should have been more worried about somebody breaking in or something.

Faith

Dudess wrote: »

Tip though: I don't think it's a good idea to leave a number of lights on during the night as that could look too much like trying to make it appear as if there are people there (which it is ) whereas if there really were people there, they would be asleep and their lights switched off. Also, I think if there's at least one car there, it takes the edge off things. Closing all the curtains is a very good idea.

Maybe it's not, but I close the curtains too. I leave them open a crack so there's a tiny bit of light visible to the outside. If I'm out though, my parents leave the hall and landing lights on until I get home, so I work on that principle when I'm alone so potential robbers might assume someone is out but may be home soon.

Maddison

I dont normally feel afraid to be on my own, but if I ever do Ill bring my two Rotties in to prowl around the house & take one of the samurai swords off the wall I is ninja

christina_x

had the house to myself for the weekend and i got creeped out, but it only happens when i land back to a dark house. like if i was in the house all day i wouldnt get scared once night came, but because i dont get home from work until after 11 the house is in darkness and thats when i get freaked

pikachucheeks

It's only when it's dark outside that I mind being home alone!

I never seem to worry too much when I'm in Dublin, as I live on a quiet road and there's never anyone around!

I do get a bit scared when I'm home alone in my family's house in Cork though. I guess it's just the fact it's a big house there's a lot of big scary trees in the garden that make creepy shadows [not to mind the assorted weirdos that live in the local area!!]

When I was a small child, my family's house in Dublin was robbed and my dad's friend was killed by a burglar... from that stemmed a life-long fear of my house being broken into. It's probably the only thing in life I'm truly afraid of.
It's not the fact they're stealing from you, it's the fact they're able to break into somewhere you considered to be safe.

When I am home alone, I leave all the lights on. Have the TV on, even if I'm not watching it and draw the curtains ... I also check every door and window in the house is locked about once every ten minutes :P

Aurora Borealis

Wouldn't bother me much at all. I live alone anyway. I suppose if I was in a somewhat more remote area or a house that wasn't the size of shoebox it might be different.

Khannie

You'd want to be really f*ckin' stupid to break into my house during the night. The (badly worn and obviously heavily used) punchbag is hanging in the conservatory which you'd (more or less) have to come through. Also it's clear that there are kids in the house and therefore the chances that one or more adults are already awake are decent enough. I recently found out that the mrs wears pyjama bottoms and puts on the alarm when I'm not there though.

edit: For those looking to reduce their chances of a break in, I remember hearing the following are deterrents before:

alarm
dog
spikey plants at the back (i.e. making it difficult to get over the back wall)
kids clothes (particularly infants) hanging on the line

There was other stuff but I can't remember it.

chocgirl

I like being home alone in general but I do get a bit paranoid when in my parents house alone. It's usually just when I'm going to bed though. I have to go around and check that the doors are locked twice and I check all the windows too. I think it's just that it's fairly remote and isolated.

Oh I also have to leave my radio on all night if I'm alone it blocks out all those creaky radiator noises.

Lia_lia

I'm always home alone at night. I live with my Mother and my younger brother. My Mum is usually at work/out and my brother is always out with friends. So when i come home from work it's just me and the dog! But I've been left home alone since I was a young teenager, never found it scary or anything. I actually kinda like being alone. If I get bored I walk over to a friends house or something. Same story whilst at college.

But I do know a few people who get scared being home alone. People aged 18+. Don't get it!

cute_cow

just spent the whole weekend alone for the first time in ages and I don't want it to end!!

didn't bother in the slightest, was warm last nite so left all thw windows open too, so was more of an inviation if anyone wanted to come in!!

generally leave a hall light on, but have that on all the time anyway. always in darkness thru the nite.

Way i see it, if anyone was determind enough to come in a light on won't make a difference!!

Ginny

I'm usually fine, when I first moved into my house on my own I locked the bedroom door for the first week or so, now I'm grand, the OH lives with me, but even when he's not here I have my beroom window open and the landing window open for air.
I don't go around checking rooms or anything, I'm generally not that worried when alone.

gidget

I've never felt scared at all when i've been home alone. My mam & dad had me babysitting my brother when i was 11 on Friday nights and i thought it was so cool at the time to be able to stay up and watch The Word on Channel 4 with all the junk food i could want . Then when i was 17 they went on holiday with my bro for 2 weeks and again i loved the peace and complete control of the tv and and especially that grown up feeling of being on my own and independant. It showed that they had a lot of trust in me at a young age anyway. Nowaday's i'm lucky if i get a day or night home alone because everyone's jobless and broke!!!

Nightwish

I relish the nights I get to be at home alone. I love the silence in the house. I've never felt fear, because I dont think there is anything to be afraid of. One of the girls I live with wont stay here on her own. She's petrified in fact, and before she can sleep, she'll text one of us to make sure there'll be someone home. I really dont understand it. I find it quite irrational.

Faith

Lia_lia wrote: »

I'm always home alone at night. I live with my Mother and my younger brother. My Mum is usually at work/out and my brother is always out with friends. So when i come home from work it's just me and the dog! But I've been left home alone since I was a young teenager, never found it scary or anything. I actually kinda like being alone. If I get bored I walk over to a friends house or something. Same story whilst at college.

But I do know a few people who get scared being home alone. People aged 18+. Don't get it!

I don't get scared in the slightest when there's someone coming home at some stage of the night, just when my parents are away for the whole night. My boyfriend works in bars and clubs and often wouldn't be home until after 4, and it never bothers me in his house.

I don't give a feck about being robbed, tbh, as long as they didn't come near me. I don't care about stuff being stolen, it's all replaceable. It's just the thought that intruders could attack/rape/murder me. I should really start locking my bedroom door, but then I worry I'll get trapped if there was a fire! (I'm an awful worrier, I know!)

mental07

I love apartment living! My flatmate is away at the moment but I'm absolutely fine with it. I feel much safer alone in an apartment than I would in my parents' (quite isolated) house. I don't even know my neighbours but it's kind of reassuring to know that they're there all the same!

I used to be scared to be home alone, when I lived in rented accommodation and when I was younger. But now it doesn't bother me at all. Infact, I find it quite relaxing.

Dudess

Lia_lia wrote: »

I'm always home alone at night. I live with my Mother and my younger brother. My Mum is usually at work/out and my brother is always out with friends. So when i come home from work it's just me and the dog! But I've been left home alone since I was a young teenager, never found it scary or anything. I actually kinda like being alone. If I get bored I walk over to a friends house or something. Same story whilst at college.

But I do know a few people who get scared being home alone. People aged 18+. Don't get it!

Age doesn't make a difference - it's not the same as childish fears, e.g. of the dark, of what might be under the bed, etc... it's due to feeling vulnerable. I admit it's not the most rational, but I can't help it (it's not completely irrational anyway - break-ins do occur). And it's certainly reasonable for an elderly person to feel vulnerable. You're lucky it doesn't affect you but not everyone is that lucky. It's not so much being alone at night when I'm up and about that bothers me anyway (if anything happened, I'd at least be in a position to do a runner if needs be) - especially if someone will be home at some stage. It's being in that vulnerable position of asleep alone all night. If I was woken by a loud noise, I would be absolutely freaked!

Snoopy1

I hate being home alone. If my OH is ever away i just cannot sleep. I'm a really light sleeper anyway, and if im on my own, i can hear every noise , and am in a constant state of panic.

I'm 30 and really should have grown out of this by now!!!!!

Dudess

Well my mum's in her 60s and doesn't feel comfortable being on her own at night.

Yeah, I'm a really light sleeper too - it sucks.

emeraldstar

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, I'm a really light sleeper too - it sucks.

So am I, but that's actually a reason why I LOVE being home alone - no-one to disturb me. In my college home my flatmate can be quite loud, and in my family home my Dad is up every morning at about 6 and wakes me about 90% of the time :mad:

Mr Benevolent

What the... you've all been reading the papers too much.

Nightwish

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I hate being home alone. If my OH is ever away i just cannot sleep. I'm a really light sleeper anyway, and if im on my own, i can hear every noise , and am in a constant state of panic.

I'm 30 and really should have grown out of this by now!!!!!

Do what I do...wear earplugs!

Novella

It doesn't matter if I'm at home in my parents house or in my apartment alone, I always feel terrified! All those little creaking noises freak the hell outta me and if I'm watching tv or whatever, I turn it down really low so I can hear if anyone is trying to break in!
I remember one time, about a year or two ago, I was home alone IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY and I heard noise outside so I locked myself in the bathroom and sat in the shower for SIX HOURS until my mam came home! Turns out the noise was just the window cleaner and my parents thought it was hilarious!

I also tend to ring people a lot and be whispering down the phone like "OK, I'm home alone and I think someone's breaking in so I'm going to check! Stay on the phone and ring the guards if I don't talk back" hahaha. I used to think it was just me!!!!

metaoblivia

Several years ago I was living on my own and a man broke into my apartment and attempted to sexually assault me. It took several years and some therapy to feel completely comfortable with living alone after that (although I continued to - I don't like living with other people and that always outweighed the fear of living alone). For the people who don't understand why adults wouldn't feel safe whilst home alone, well you probably won't - and never will - until something happens that makes you realize just how vulnerable you are, how vulnerable we always are. As much as I would have liked to immediately bounced back to feeling safe whilst on my own after "the incident," the human mind generally doesn't work that way. Life is funny in that we either have to accept the small chance of bad things happening or convince ourselves that those things won't happen to us in order to live normally. And when you've been part of that small percentage, then you have to face the realities of your own vulnerability. You have to comes to terms with it in a way most people never will. And hopefully, you eventually learn how to feel safe again.
Currently, I live on my own, a first floor apartment in the middle of a city. I lose no sleep at night. I wear ear plugs because I'm a light sleeper, always have been. I take the general safety measures of keeping the doors and windows locked. And I feel very safe. But it took awhile for me to get there.

tommmy1979

I went to see Harry Potter last night.. it was a bit scary and there was nobody at home when i got in, had to check all the rooms for he who shall not be named before i went to bed..

and i'm a boy... actually no i'm a man

Snoopy1

Nightwish wrote: »

Do what I do...wear earplugs!

Ive tried earplugs, just find them really uncomfortable. I can always hear my heart beating really loud, im just a freak!!!!!:D

Malari

I get people who have been attacked/burgled themselves feeling vulnerable but not anyone else, unless you are paranoid.

I always get asked that question if I'm home alone - are you not terrified on your own? - and it just never enters my head to feel scared or worried.

Liquorice

I was a latchkey kid for years so being home alone during the day is totally fine, as is being home alone at night when I know someone's coming home at some point but when I'm alone for stretches longer than a day I really have to psych myself for it. I'm currently alone for the longest stretch I've ever been 'cause the family are on holiday for a fortnight & I've usually been too tired to care by the time I go to bed but the other night, the boyfriend was supposed to be coming over and got delayed on the other side of the city and I proceeded to freak the **** out for absolutely no good reason.

I've been refusing to look at reflecting surfaces 'cause I have an irrational fear of mirrors in the dark, and because I was reading about stuff like this before my parents went away, I can't look out the windows at night for fear of some weird looking animal looking back.

fonpokno

I love love love having the house to myself during the day. It's just lovely. Nights are ok too but I'm happier when someone's coming home.

However when the parents are away for a week or so I get panicky during the night sometimes but only cos I'm a mega paranoid lunatic. I tend to make the horrid mistake of reading the Paranormal forum when I'm at home on my own at night. Then I hear every tiny creak the house makes and generally end up sleeping with a lamp on and the blankets over my head and tucked all around me.

I'm also currently reading The Shining but I can't read it at night in bed cos I know I'll freak out and won't sleep. *sigh* Lunatic. :P

Liquorice wrote: »

I can't look out the windows at night for fear of some weird looking animal looking back.

I do this too! Except I'm always afraid it'll be a burglar or a giant floating ghost head.

allabouteve

How safe I feel completely depends on where I am.

I'm a really light sleeper, even clocks in the next room keep me awake, so every creak has me on high alert.

I used to live on a high floor in an apartment, and I felt completely safe since no one was likely to climb over the balcony or in the bedroom window. Also the presence of such close neighbours was reassuring.

I grew up in a very isolated area, and although I never spent the night alone in that house, I know I would have hated it.

Living with a friend takes the edge off, but being in a basement apartment alone is really going to give my imagination something to work on.:(