Boyfriend doesn't want me to get tattoo

LegacyUser

This is a bit of a silly one, sorry!

I've been planning getting a tattoo for the past couple of years now - no concrete plans, but it's been at the back of my mind. I've been working on it properly the last couple of months, and have put a lot of work into designing one that's very personal to me. It means a lot to me as it signifies a lot of good stuff in my life. It's going to be quite small and discreet, on the top of my foot so that I can hide it as appropriate!

However my boyfriend hates tattoos. He says he just doesn't "get" why anyone has them. I've been over it lots of times with him, showed him my design, explained just what it means to me, but he says he doesn't see why I need a tattoo to remind me of this stuff - isn't that what my memory is for! He's very much the practical type, whereas I'm a bit artsier, but I think it's our differences that make us work so well together - usually!

He's not even doing it in a controlling way. These days, if I bring it up and ask his opinion, he just says, "You know what I think about tattoos. Suit yourself." Which is fair enough, I wouldn't want him to lie about liking the idea if he didn't ... and it's not that I need his "blessing" ... but I must admit, I would like it.

As far as I'm concerned, I think I should go ahead and get it. He'll just have to get used to it. Would love some honest opinions - am I right? What would you do?

Well, if it's small and discreet and you're not going to regret it when you're 60 and wrinkly, go for it. He's made his feelings clear, you want it anyway, so you might as well get it. Just don't keep bringing it up anymore with him, would be a bit like rubbing it in, even though you don't mean to.

dudara

OK, I'm of the personal opinion that saying "Suit yourself" is a cruel thing. It's dismissive and overbearing. It's as if the person saying it has decided that you're never going to understand their point of view and that you're not worth talking to anymore about it.

Your bf may not like the idea of you getting this tattoo, but he could accept it with grace - showing a bit of maturity.

LegacyUser

Yeah that's it exactly dudara, it feels like he's talking down to me and is hoping I'll forget about the whole idea altogether or something!

We're both mature responsible adults in a long-term relationship; this isn't going to be a deal breaker or anything. I'd just like to reach some form of agreement before I go ahead with it, because it is a big deal to me, and he's the most important person to me.

Any suggestions of how I should deal with this?

WeeBushy

Tatty Too wrote: »

We're both mature responsible adults in a long-term relationship; this isn't going to be a deal breaker or anything. I'd just like to reach some form of agreement before I go ahead with it, because it is a big deal to me, and he's the most important person to me.

Have you tried saying just that to him? Cuz that sounds like it sums up exactly what it feels like for you.

SarahSassy

I think you either like or dislike tattoo's... I personally dont like them at all and would rather if my OH didnt get one. Luckily he doesnt like them either.

Maybe he is bored listening to you talk about it when you have still (2 years later) not done anything about it?

I know I am going to get lambasted for this but I do think there is still an element of stigma with regard tattoo's. Historically, it was only a 'rough' element who got tattoo's.. No matter how discreet or hidden they are, I cant but remember the English sailors plastered in them and auld fellas on the beach with faded and droopy eagles on their backs.

LegacyUser

WeeBushy wrote: »

Have you tried saying just that to him? Cuz that sounds like it sums up exactly what it feels like for you.

I've said it to him, but he just can't see why it's a big deal for me, and I can't make him understand. And then he says, "Well you know how I feel about it, I'd rather you didn't get one and that's not going to change, but I can't exactly stop you." Or something to that effect.

SarahSassy wrote: »

I think you either like or dislike tattoo's... I personally dont like them at all and would rather if my OH didnt get one. Luckily he doesnt like them either.

Maybe he is bored listening to you talk about it when you have still (2 years later) not done anything about it?

No I've only started bringing it up with him the last couple of months.

c4cat

Tatty Too wrote: »

This is a bit of a silly one, sorry!

I've been planning getting a tattoo for the past couple of years now - no concrete plans, but it's been at the back of my mind. I've been working on it properly the last couple of months, and have put a lot of work into designing one that's very personal to me. It means a lot to me as it signifies a lot of good stuff in my life. It's going to be quite small and discreet, on the top of my foot so that I can hide it as appropriate!

However my boyfriend hates tattoos. He says he just doesn't "get" why anyone has them. I've been over it lots of times with him, showed him my design, explained just what it means to me, but he says he doesn't see why I need a tattoo to remind me of this stuff - isn't that what my memory is for! He's very much the practical type, whereas I'm a bit artsier, but I think it's our differences that make us work so well together - usually!

He's not even doing it in a controlling way. These days, if I bring it up and ask his opinion, he just says, "You know what I think about tattoos. Suit yourself." Which is fair enough, I wouldn't want him to lie about liking the idea if he didn't ... and it's not that I need his "blessing" ... but I must admit, I would like it.

As far as I'm concerned, I think I should go ahead and get it. He'll just have to get used to it. Would love some honest opinions - am I right? What would you do?

As a male who had tattoos done in my early years, I now deeply regret having them done now and 35 years on. Simply put what your feelings are now and what the feelings maybe in the future are, you will not know until time passes. I side and agree with yr OH opinons based on my own experience.

Big_Mac

Tattoo's are permanent, and thats the problem imo. I like the idea of them, but would never commit to having one done.

As an example, I was the typical adolescent growing up and wanted a tattoo, but wasn't allowed get one by my parents. I was going for something along the theme of 'I'm a bad bastard' on my arm, or something to that effect.

Now, with two children and a career, I can say for sure that I'm damn glad that I didn't get it done. It was an image of how I portrayed myself at a given moment in time, and certainly not how I would see myself now. I have often thought about it now, and I would be mortified if I had something like that on my arm now which would be in full view of everyone whenever I would be wearing a short sleeve shirt or a t-shirt. That plus it would be just as embarrassing in another 30 years, or if I was to attend a job interview or something. I can't understand how so many women got the tramp stamp either. Why would you get a tattoo that no you can't even see?

Personally, what I did do was get some piercings, the logic being that I could always remove them, which I have done now at this stage.

Anyway, thats just my opinion. At the end of the day, its your body, and you should feel free to do with it as you wish

CDfm

SarahSassy wrote: »

I know I am going to get lambasted for this but I do think there is still an element of stigma with regard tattoo's. Historically, it was only a 'rough' element who got tattoo's.. No matter how discreet or hidden they are, I cant but remember the English sailors plastered in them and auld fellas on the beach with faded and droopy eagles on their backs.

+1 I agree with you usually people got them when they were drunk or to appear hard. I dont like them either.

R.D. aka MR.D

If the reason he doesn't want you to get one is because he can't understand why you want it I can't see why he's not at least being supportive.

I have a few tattoos but my OH isn't a big fan of them himself and would never get one done but if i'm designing something or trying to decide where to get it on my body (which i'm doin at the minute) He is always supportive, he points out drawbacks to design, possible missunderstandings and issues with employment or 'it might look weird there'.
He doesn't understand why i need them.

Is it just this one issue with you OH or does he generally not be supportive?

Definitly go ahead with what you want but my advice is not to include him too much in the process if it is going to sour it for you or else you might be looking down at it in 40years and remembering the bad times even though its supposed to be about good times.

Best of luck with it!

Oryx

I got a tattoo years ago, just because it was something I wanted and had thought about for a long time. Im still fond of it because it was one of my little things I did for me just for me to mark a stage in my life. I even got it cleaned and tidied up a while ago. So not everyone hits a later life stage and regrets it. For some it remains something positive.

OP, have you listened in detail to why your oh dislikes tattoos? I think thats important. To ask him specifically why he would not like to see one on you. Its not enough for him to just say he doesnt like them. You might find out it has to do with someone else he knows, his general impressions of the type of girl who has them, or that your going to end up inked all over. If you know what the basis for his objection, then maybe you can begin to reassure him, and get him to understand how you see it.

Toots

I think if the tattoo means something to you, you should go for it! If he starts going on with his 'suit yourself' again, I'd just turn around and say, 'yeah I will thanks!'. I've a couple of tattoos, they're very feminine and delicate. I took my time planning each one carefully, and I wouldn't be without them. All of them mean something to me, and when I look down and see them (they're on my ankles) or catch sight of them in a mirror, they always make me feel happy. I think the days of tattoos only being for a certain 'dodgy' persona are long gone. They're very mainstream now. Just make sure it's somewhere you can cover it if needs be, as some employers have a dresscode which don't allow visible tattoos.

Amy33

It's only a tattoo, he'll get over it, he doesn't own your body, you do.

Terodil

dudara wrote: »

OK, I'm of the personal opinion that saying "Suit yourself" is a cruel thing. It's dismissive and overbearing. It's as if the person saying it has decided that you're never going to understand their point of view and that you're not worth talking to anymore about it.

Your bf may not like the idea of you getting this tattoo, but he could accept it with grace - showing a bit of maturity.

Hold your horses there, overinterpreting/-judging much?

He's been asked for an opinion on a matter of taste. He's made a statement - of taste. It's not a matter of understanding, it's a matter of taste where you can exchange your views, maybe talk about it for a while -- but there's no way that you can 'understand' it per se. It's a matter of acceptance. He's made it clear that he's accepting her choice but not really in favour of it. Calling him immature for that is really a bit far-fetched.

The OP seems to want to hear a 'yes omg why haven't you got it done' from him which is a bit much. The OP should go have it if she really wants to, but I don't understand why she's making such a big deal of it to her bf.

SarahSassy

The bottom line is she wants a tattoo, she want his 'approval', he doesnt like tattoo's but he is letting her get on with it if she wants to. He is being a great bf here. He is telling her the truth as he sees it and is then letting her make up her own mind.

Dont know what benefit the OP is looking from asking for others opinions.

Boston

Sounds like the OP is baggering her boyfriend for approval despite him repeatedly saying he doesn't. It's your body do what you want, but don't be shocked if you get it and his opinion hasn't changed.

Op "Look I got a fantastic tattoo".

Bf "I don't like it and I think it was a mistake for you to get it, I'm less attracted to you now then before, it might be best if you sleep on the couch".

Op "Cries".

I hope I've made my point.

LegacyUser

CDfm wrote: »

+1 I agree with you usually people got them when they were drunk or to appear hard. I dont like them either.

I know s**t loads of people with tatoos,young and old and myself included and I have yet to meet a person who got their tatoo when they were drunk or to appear hard!! Fair enough if you don't like them but don't make such ridiculous stereotypes!

OP I have 2 tatoos which I love, I have had one of them for 12 years and the other for about 3. I have never regretted them and I haven't met many people who do regret theirs. Seriously if you really want one then get it, you shouldn't need your OH's permission

Katgurl

OP, i went through something kinda similar myself.

I wanted a tattoo, it meant something to me, I was looking forward to getting it and spent ages deciding on what / where etc. My then-OH declared his lack of appreciation, i was disappointed but continued with my design etc. The difference between my situation & yours is that it blew up into big row, he was aghast that i was going ahead with my plans despite him viewing tattoos as "for chavs". I said i knew how he felt but it was something that i wanted to symbolize a certain age of my life & it was too big an ask to expect me not to get it.

If it was a haircut or a dress that you were half-contemplating & he said he hated that look I wouldn't be averse to leaving it but a tattoo is a different thing altogether. Its your body, its a permanent fixture, it means something to you, its a commitment.

Get the tattoo. Its for you. His opinion is his problem.

Hrududu

Your boyfriend doesn't like tattoos. But he is saying that this is your choice and he wouldn't tell you what to do. What exactly is the problem here? You're hardly going to get him to change his opinion.

tbh

it's your body, it's your choice. Get it done if you want it. I'm sure he'll come around, and if he doesn't, do you want to be with someone who'll dump you over a tattoo?

Tattoos are a personal choice. I have two, in places you'd never see them unless I wanted you to. If you like them, get them. If you end up marrying your boyfriend, I'm afraid you'll have much bigger issues to sort out than this, so don't sweat the small stuff.

J Peterman

OP, could the fact that you want his support so badly indicate that you're not 100% gone on the idea yourself?

Boston

Katgurl wrote: »

I wanted a tattoo, it meant something to me, I was looking forward to getting it and spent ages deciding on what / where etc. My then-OH declared his lack of appreciation, i was disappointed but continued with my design etc. The difference between my situation & yours is that it blew up into big row, he was aghast that i was going ahead with my plans despite him viewing tattoos as "for chavs". I said i knew how he felt but it was something that i wanted to symbolize a certain age of my life & it was too big an ask to expect me not to get it.

If it was a haircut or a dress that you were half-contemplating & he said he hated that look I wouldn't be averse to leaving it but a tattoo is a different thing altogether. Its your body, its a permanent fixture, it means something to you, its a commitment.

Get the tattoo. Its for you. His opinion is his problem.

Well thats a great attitude. We any luck the OP will follow you advice and likewise end up single.

xcarriex

TBH op i think you need to leave him out of this, at the end of they day this stays on ur body forever, if your as sure as you think you are then nobodies opinion matters, i got one, my best friend cringed when she seen it, it just was not her thing at all, and i got REAL offended, and she was like look your still you, your happy and thats what matters, she was right i didnt need her validation she thinks its 'cool' and 'brave' but she was right i didnt need someone to tell me it was nice,

5 yrs on it was the best thing i EVER done

kmick

I hate them as well. Dont get it at all. If my OH told me she was getting a tattoo she might as well be telling me to hand in my notice. Dont be fooled by the no stigma thing it may be art to some but only if you watch sky news.

Katgurl

Boston wrote: »

Well thats a great attitude. We any luck the OP will follow you advice and likewise end up single.

omg, are you my ex? And why do you think i'm single just because i binned that particular speciman.

I'm saying its too much of an ask to not get a tattoo due to a boyfriend's preference as they are a big deal & extremely personal.

If you read my post, you'd see that I said i might reconsider a haircut / outfit so i'm hardly inflexible.


But tattoo - no way! His support would be nice to have but definitely not essential.

benj

control freak :eek: why should you ask him in the first place? it's your body....NOT his...Do it ...

Katgurl

Also, word of warning OP LOTS of people don't like tattoos (also confirmed by this thread) so be aware of that when you're getting yours.

If you're the type of person who is going to be offended by this then maybe its not for you. Unless your boyfriend is asking you NOT to, then his support shouldn't really be that important to you.

I just accept that they're not everyone's thing & get on with it.

fartmaster

tatoos look horrible on women IMO (and oin most men too) if you are artistic then go paint something, why deface your own body and rick your relationship?

Katgurl

fartmaster wrote: »

tatoos look horrible on women IMO (and oin most men too) if you are artistic then go paint something, why deface your own body and rick your relationship?

i seriously cannot believe some of the replies on this thread, are we living in the 1920's?

The OP didn't ask "what is everyone's opinion on tattoos?"

The OP wants this tattoo. She is a person in her own right with her own body. She wants to get something that will last her forever. Unless i've missed something there is no guarantee her boyfriend will be there forever.

It is her right to get a tattoo despite her boyfriend's preferences. Likewise it is his right to not like the tattoo but seriously risking the relationship??? Do you think she should be worried about him dumping her??? For what - disobeying his wishes??? The OP suggested nothign of the sort but if he was that sort of Class A wanker she would be well rid.

Raskolnikov

What kind of tattoo is it? If it's small and can be hidden, then he shouldn't have a problem. If it's obvious and always displayable, I can understand why he might not like the idea.

Raskolnikov

Katgurl wrote: »

The OP wants this tattoo. She is a person in her own right with her own body.

It's not that simple.

If you're in a serious relationship, you've got to consider the other person.

bettiedaviseyes

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now and when we started going out I had three tattoos.I now have nine which are five on on my back and are for me and a heart on each wrist in memory of two people very close to me that have passed away.My foot is also tattooed but they are mostly for me and I really like having them. My boyfriend doesent mind them either, in fact he really likes them.Doesent make you a different person.
I am currently planning my tenth in memory of my dad who passed away last year.It is really up to you whether you want to get them or not.If you really want to get one I would.It really is your decision.
I always discuss my tattoos with my boyfriend but at the end of the day he always advises that the decision is mine.Not trying to influence you here but it really is your decision.
Hope that helps....

fartmaster

Katgurl wrote: »

i seriously cannot believe some of the replies on this thread, are we living in the 1920's?

The OP didn't ask "what is everyone's opinion on tattoos?"

The OP wants this tattoo. She is a person in her own right with her own body. She wants to get something that will last her forever. Unless i've missed something there is no guarantee her boyfriend will be there forever.

It is her right to get a tattoo despite her boyfriend's preferences. Likewise it is his right to not like the tattoo but seriously risking the relationship??? Do you think she should be worried about him dumping her??? For what - disobeying his wishes??? The OP suggested nothign of the sort but if he was that sort of Class A wanker she would be well rid.

lol so fook the boyfriend and go get me little flower tattoo on my foot, that will make me much more happier than being with a guy who likes me for what I am and what I was when he first met me, yes ye auld flower on the foot will be there to hold kiss and caress me not this fooker who thinks tattoos are ugly and should be only dont if you have some sort of statement you wanna make and are so thick you pay some twat to spray permanent ink all over you to do it quaff quaff quaff

Bloody Nipples

Is anyone else aghast at the slating the poor guy is getting here??

He doesn't like tattoos on girls. He's not alone. It's not a crime. There's some militant tattoo lovers here who are really putting the guy down. If I was going out with a girl who said she wanted a tattoo, I'd tell her I didn't like them.

This leaves the girl with two fairly obvious options, get it or don't. Getting the tattoo will put a strain on the relationship. How much of a strain depends on the strength of their relationship. It's up to her to weigh whether getting the tattoo is worth the strain that will accompany it.

The bottom line is that your boyfriend will probably find whatever body part you get inked less attractive.

yawnstretch

Self mutilation in my view. If someone is cutting shapes into themselves we think they're nuts. Tattoos are not much different in my opinion.

OS119

Tatty Too wrote: »

We're both mature responsible adults in a long-term relationship; this isn't going to be a deal breaker or anything. I'd just like to reach some form of agreement before I go ahead with it...

and by 'agreement' of course, you mean he changes his view while you get to keep yours...

the tatoo isn't going to be the deal breaker, it'll be the high-pitched whine he'll get in his ears when you've done it and then ask him to validate your choice and he tells you it looks crap.

amazing that, asking folk the same question 10 times and still getting the same answer.

Alicat

Katgurl wrote: »

i seriously cannot believe some of the replies on this thread, are we living in the 1920's?

The OP didn't ask "what is everyone's opinion on tattoos?"

The OP wants this tattoo. She is a person in her own right with her own body. She wants to get something that will last her forever. Unless i've missed something there is no guarantee her boyfriend will be there forever.

It is her right to get a tattoo despite her boyfriend's preferences. Likewise it is his right to not like the tattoo but seriously risking the relationship??? Do you think she should be worried about him dumping her??? For what - disobeying his wishes??? The OP suggested nothign of the sort but if he was that sort of Class A wanker she would be well rid.

Just because a tattoo is not a deal-breaker for you, it doesn't mean that it can't be for many other people. He hates tattoos, he doesn't want her to get one. Why should he change his opinion to suit her? If she wants it she can get it, but there's no point in whinging for his approval.

She knows his opinion on it yet she sounds like she's still trying to beat him into saying "Oh yes honey I think you really should get a tattoo, I think they're marvellous", even if she won't admit it here. He's not stopping her getting it. He's being perfectly rational.

Katgurl

Alicat wrote: »

Just because a tattoo is not a deal-breaker for you, it doesn't mean that it can't be for many other people. He hates tattoos, he doesn't want her to get one. Why should he change his opinion to suit her? If she wants it she can get it, but there's no point in whinging for his approval.

She knows his opinion on it yet she sounds like she's still trying to beat him into saying "Oh yes honey I think you really should get a tattoo, I think they're marvellous", even if she won't admit it here. He's not stopping her getting it. He's being perfectly rational.

if you read my posts properly you'd see i am in agreement with you. I did advise the OP she would have to accept that many people don't like tattoos and this could well include her boyfriend.

I'm saying that a tattoo is for her at the end of the day and not to please other people.

I'm aghast at the other posters here (not OP's boyfriend) who seem to think its perfectly reasonable to insist on their girlfriend's not having one.

Jenroche

At the end of the day, it's your decision. You don;t need your boyfriend or anyone else to validate it. If you really want the tattoo go and get it done. If your boyfriend really cares about you then he'll accept you, tattoo and all.

Jen ;->

Thunderkill

your body, not his

Alicat

Katgurl wrote: »

if you read my posts properly you'd see i am in agreement with you. I did advise the OP she would have to accept that many people don't like tattoos and this could well include her boyfriend.

I'm saying that a tattoo is for her at the end of the day and not to please other people.

I'm aghast at the other posters here (not OP's boyfriend) who seem to think its perfectly reasonable to insist on their girlfriend's not having one.

No I see that you say he's entitled not to like it but I don't think it warrants calling him a "Class A W*nker". IF he was to break up her it seems to me that it would more likely be due to the fact that he really hates tattoos and that he isn't attracted to her because of it, not that she was "disobeying his wishes". It would be harsh but if that's how he feels, how can you make him change his mind?

If he had posted on boards saying that he wasn't attracted to his girlfriend anymore (for whatever reason) I gather that most posters here would advise him to end it. I realise that it mind sound trivial "just for a tattoo" but only he knows how important it is to him.

me_right_one

For people who dont like tattoos, any tattoo looks like these. Immaturity at its highest level


http://images.google.ie/imgres?imgurl=http://www.epicfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/unwanted-tattoos-fail.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.epicfail.com/tag/tattoo-fail/&usg=__0z5L6ApUiTjdqEU-YsORoEJ9MYA=&h=418&w=533&sz=212&hl=en&start=58&tbnid=cyOWNk2NBiavvM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=132&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtattoo%2Bfail%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D40

Katgurl

Alicat wrote: »

No I see that you say he's entitled not to like it but I don't think it warrants calling him a "Class A W*nker". IF he was to break up her it seems to me that it would more likely be due to the fact that he really hates tattoos and that he isn't attracted to her because of it, not that she was "disobeying his wishes". It would be harsh but if that's how he feels, how can you make him change his mind?

If he had posted on boards saying that he wasn't attracted to his girlfriend anymore (for whatever reason) I gather that most posters here would advise him to end it. I realise that it mind sound trivial "just for a tattoo" but only he knows how important it is to him.

No I said IF he had threatened to dump her over it, he WOULD be a Class A wanker.

barleybooley

Katgurl wrote: »

Get the tattoo. Its for you. His opinion is his problem.

I wouldn't say his opinion is a problem to be fair, she asked for it and he gave it to her. If it's something that bothers him why should he be slated for it?

benj wrote: »

control freak :eek: why should you ask him in the first place? it's your body....NOT his...Do it ...

Now come on, he's not pinning her down dictating what she is/isn't allowed to do...

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

Is anyone else aghast at the slating the poor guy is getting here??

He doesn't like tattoos on girls. He's not alone. It's not a crime. There's some militant tattoo lovers here who are really putting the guy down. If I was going out with a girl who said she wanted a tattoo, I'd tell her I didn't like them.

Absolutely.

My advice OP would be just hold off on it a little longer. If it's something that he really didn't want you to do then this should definitely be taken into account. Compromise is such a big part of a relationship as I'm sure you know. There's probably something that you would put your foot down about down the line that he wanted to do and he's have to respect your feelings on it too. If it's something that really bothers him, I'd say hold back and ask him again in a while. Besides, in the mean time, there's opportunity to perfect on the design should you get it done. I hope the both of you will sort something.

scouttio

why is everyone so against tattoos? who cares if other people get them? its not your body. if you dont want one dont get one but dont tell other people that they shouldnt get one just coz you dont like them?

Doctor DooM

The amount of missing the point in this thread would put the American military to shame...

OP. It quite frankly doesn't matter whether you like, or anyone else likes, tatoos here. Your other half doesn't. He is simply being honest with you. He is not going to change his mind no matter how much you explain it means to you because simply, he doesn't like tattoos.

To put it another way, I dislike techno. A person close to me puts their heart and soul into making a techno song. They ask me if I like it.

Do I lie and make them happy? What happens if they find out I lied? What if they make more, and make me listen to endless amounts of it, because I am pretending to like it?

Or do I tell them the truth, that it's not for me, but despite that I agree they should be allowed to continue it if they like, just don't expect me to turn into a fan of techno?

Man, my analogies suck.

Terodil

scouttio wrote: »

why is everyone so against tattoos? who cares if other people get them? its not your body. if you dont want one dont get one but dont tell other people that they shouldnt get one just coz you dont like them?

Look, can we stop turning this thread into a discussion of what didn't happen?

The situation is:

OP wants to get a tattoo
OP's bf thinks it's not the greatest of ideas and said so, but has also made it clear it's her decision
OP wants her bf to reassure her in her choice though

I still think the OP is being slightly unreasonable here. It's her own body, she can decide what she wants to do to it, but she cannot force her bf to like it or reassure her of something he isn't convinced of. Anything else would be lying to her and I doubt the OP wants a sycophant as bf.

OP: It's your choice and responsibility, end of. That includes weighing his argument in your mind but ultimately it's your choice, you cannot push it onto your bf. If you don't like it in 40 years, it was your choice only. If you still love it in 40 years, it was your choice only.

LegacyUser

Terodil wrote: »

The situation is:

OP wants to get a tattoo
OP's bf thinks it's not the greatest of ideas and said so, but has also made it clear it's her decision
OP wants her bf to reassure her in her choice though

This is the reality so why is her bf getting lambasted.... She wants him to like what she is doing but he doesnt. He told her when she asked but also said to do what she likes....

Hardly Hitler-esque instructions....

JM

PS I hate tattoos and would hate to have to look at one on my OH's body... Skin looks so much nicer when natural.

RxQueen

CDfm wrote: »

+1 I agree with you usually people got them when they were drunk or to appear hard. I dont like them either.

Ermmmm nowhere will tattoo you if you're under the infulence of drink or drugs

Katgurl wrote: »

Also, word of warning OP LOTS of people don't like tattoos (also confirmed by this thread) so be aware of that when you're getting yours.

If you're the type of person who is going to be offended by this then maybe its not for you. Unless your boyfriend is asking you NOT to, then his support shouldn't really be that important to you.

I just accept that they're not everyone's thing & get on with it.

Lots of people dont like them:eek:, oh noes im never going to get a boyfriend again :rolleyes:

OP its your body , do what you please with it , its only a small tattoo, not like its massive or anything (which all of mine are) ..

Okay so your boyf doesnt agree, it is a Win Loose sutation here, ie, you go get it done, he aint going to be happy,.... you dont get it done, your going to resent him a tiny bit (trust me you will) .. Talk about it more.. The tattoo is not going to change you as a person at all, he just needs to see that

fartmaster wrote: »

tatoos look horrible on women IMO (and oin most men too) if you are artistic then go paint something, why deface your own body and rick your relationship?

Why if you like tattoo's should you not get them done, in the fear that some person or some future boyf/gf didnt like them.. your logic is silly imo

I do things to please myself .. Tattoos do not change a person at all, they're still the same person.. wether they were an asshole or a nice person, there still going to be a asshole or a nice person after getting a tattoo done , it doest have some magic potion to change your personaility..

I cant believe some people tbh.. so if you seen and met up with a really nice person , and realised they had a tattoo , would you back off ?? crazy!


OP seriously it isnt going to change you as a person, your boyf just needs to realise that, its only small not like its a sleeve or your whole back or something, he need to chillax

OS119

could we change the title of this thread from "Boyfriend doesn't want me to get a tattoo...." to "I want my Boyfriend to validate a choice that i know he doesn't like"

its just a bit more accurate....