The Man who ****s in His Pint Glass

Size=everything

So today I heard an interesting albeit weird story. Apparently a very popular well known nightclub in Dublin is having a bit of a problem and have been going so far as employing private detectives to find out who the cause of the problem is. They are not sure if it is one person or a group who work in tangent but there is a person going around their club who ****s in his (or her :eek:) pint glass and proceeds to leave the **** filled pint glass up on the bar every night without fail. This has been going on for 3 years apparently and they are determined to figure out who the culprit is. Has anyone heard this? Do you know the culprit (not me!)

K-9

Is Flutter About?

He knows alot about sh*te.

Sir Molle

lmao

Overheal

bull****.

Who wouldnt have installed a camera by then? If their leaving it at the bar.

DarkJager

They're simply getting a return of a solid investment.

Bob Z

are you sure its not just smithwicks?

Size=everything

Overheal wrote: »

bull****.

Who wouldnt have installed a camera by then? If their leaving it at the bar.

In a packed bar it would be extremely difficult to pin point who is doing it and no one knows which bar he/she will strike at in the club

Fr Martin

Overheal wrote: »

bull****.

Who wouldnt have installed a camera by then? If their leaving it at the bar.

I assume they would leave it different places and sh1t in the pint glass in the toilet - stroke of genius, I hope they never get caught and a Romanian has to clean it out every night

Same As

Install cameras on all the pint glasses sure - Ingenious!

Overheal

Size=everything wrote: »

In a packed bar it would be extremely difficult to pin point who is doing it and no one knows which bar he/she will strike at in the club

Club I worked at in carlow had all the bars wired up... but youre right. The cameras suck and in fact, theyre more to make sure that none of us steals from the register.

I wish it were the bar i used to work at that was getting shat on.

Super-Rush

K-9 wrote: »

Is Flutter About?

He knows alot about sh*te.

But the OP is talking about pish.

ohthebaby

I know it would be washed and all but imagine drinking out of that glass.

Ewwwwww.

Wait, if its done every night, then there's probably hundreds of once ****ty glasses. Yucky.

K-9

Tbh, nobody gives a ****!

* gets bog roll.

TheZohanS

Fr Martin wrote: »

I assume they would leave it different places and sh1t in the pint glass in the toilet - stroke of genius, I hope they never get caught and a Romanian has to clean it out every night

Your posts were funnier when they weren't racist.

karlog

Will they ever catch the phantom sh*tter?

Fr Martin

TheZohan wrote: »

Your posts were funnier when they weren't racist.

Watch Gran torino and tell me racism isnt funny

javaboy

Fr Martin excommunicated permanently. Don't re-reg again.

The Walsho

I find it hilarious that it's every night without fail. For three fúcking years! That's some dedication to defecation.

K-9

super-rush wrote: »

Buth the OP is talking about pish.

Ah, then they are taking a pish!

* Definitely gets coat this time.

Bob Z

javaboy wrote: »

Fr Martin excommunicated permanently. Don't re-reg again.

You think Fr Martin is the sh*tt*r...?

Sea Sharp

Personally I hope to god that they are throwing out the sh1ty glasses afterwards.

Imagine "ew, there's some lipstick on my glass" multiplied by a thousand.

karlog

Bob Z wrote: »

You think Fr Martin is the sh*tt*r...?

Depends. Has he sh*t all over this thread?

Sharpshooter

Bob Z wrote: »

You think Fr Martin is the sh*tt*r...?

Don't do that again.

The_Minister

The Walsho wrote: »

I find it hilarious that it's every night without fail. For three fúcking years! That's some dedication to defecation.

surely they could just see who has been coming in EVERYDAY?

Sea Sharp

Apparently they've narrowed the suspects down to two girls.

amacachi

Why is it just assumed it's a fella?

Capt'n Midnight

3 years and they still haven't checked the finger prints :rolleyes:

Riamfada

Whats the niteclub. Go on tell us

magicianz

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

Apparently they've narrowed the suspects down to two girls.

LOL! If i cud thank a post on my phone i would :-P

karlog

They may aswell examine the excrement for DNA

Bob Z

Grimes wrote: »

Whats the niteclub. Go on tell us

Yea so we know not to steal pints from it

karlog

It's gotta be heaven nightclub the sh*tty pint would compliment the sh*tty music

jill_valentine

A friend of mine who works in a bar once witnessed the following. It is absolutely true, I promise.

One day, two unrelated groups were drinking at neighbouring tables. As the night proceeded, one group realised that a member of the other group was continuously robbing pints of Guinness from their table. Once they were sure it could be no mistake, a member of the aggrieved party ordered a round of fresh pints, took one to the bathroom, and returned the pint to the table.

In short order, the other party, as expected, stole the apparently abandoned pint and to paraphrase my friend "- Just took the peak of the turd off before he realised."

Nobody steals pints in that pub anymore. Ever.

karlog

jill_valentine wrote: »

A friend of mine who works in a bar once witnessed the following. It is absolutely true, I promise.

One day, two unrelated groups were drinking at neighbouring tables. As the night proceeded, one group realised that a member of the other group was continuously robbing pints of Guinness from their table. Once they were sure it could be no mistake, a member of the aggrieved party ordered a round of fresh pints, took one to the bathroom, and returned the pint to the table.

In short order, the other party, as expected, stole the apparently abandoned pint and to paraphrase my friend "- Just took the peak of the turd off before he realised."

Nobody steals pints in that pub anymore. Ever.

That's what you call revenge best served sh*tty

FlutterinBantam

Sorry to disappoint all you good folks but this is urban myth.

Not possible e v e r y night and obviously, if indeed it did ever happen once or twice or even more, it's someone who works there cutting off some rope into the pint glass .It's a staff member without doubt.

My advice to anyone is not to try that stunt as you will be caught,or perhaps be disturbed and get a shard of glass in the rusty bullet hole.

Concentrate on behind the cubicle door,a dash of topdecking,or a curry blatherer across the ceramics if you feel the need to express yourself .

Much much safer:cool:

PlayGirl

they should call in....

The Hardly Boys !

Porkpie

Are they keeping a log of what's happening?

mikeystipey

Must have been Dave England practising his aim for Jackass 2

Bob Z

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Sorry to disappoint all you good folks but this is urban myth.

Not possible e v e r y night and obviously, if indeed it did ever happen once or twice or even more, it's someone who works there cutting off some rope into the pint glass .It's a staff member without doubt.

My advice to anyone is not to try that stunt as you will be caught,or perhaps be disturbed and get a shard of glass in the rusty bullet hole.

Concentrate on behind the cubicle door,a dash of topdecking,or a curry blatherer across the ceramics if you feel the need to express yourself .

Much much safer:cool:

Its you isnt it?

FlutterinBantam

No Bob it is not.

Never shít into anything translucent,Opaque is good.Cloth is better.

That's the way to make a statement,into a white bath towel, good and runny,high and sour.

Wrap her up, into the hotpress, about a week later your party host will remember that SOMEONE, didn't enjoy the festivities.

Won't cost too much to fumigate the gaff, will remember to keep the beer cold next time.

bang bang, no risk.

try it out friend.

pebbles21

Grimes wrote: »

Whats the niteclub. Go on tell us

Copper Face Jacks ! That place is full of jumped up little ****s every night!

Bob Z

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

No Bob it is not.

Never shít into anything translucent,Opaque is good.Cloth is better.

That's the way to make a statement,into a white bath towel, good and runny,high and sour.

Wrap her up, into the hotpress, about a week later your party host will remember that SOMEONE, didn't enjoy the festivities.

Won't cost too much to fumigate the gaff, will remember to keep the beer cold next time.

bang bang, no risk.

try it out friend.

.......er...i'll just take your word for it

FlutterinBantam

No worries Bob.

Makes an impact though.

never say never;)

The Prophecy

pris ske Gud!

FlutterinBantam

:eek:

Ace first post there Bud.

Luno

How did ye know it was me

Bob Z

M&S* wrote: »

How did ye know it was me

'cause there was toilet roll going from the glass to your arse

jiltloop

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

No Bob it is not.

Never shít into anything translucent,Opaque is good.Cloth is better.

That's the way to make a statement,into a white bath towel, good and runny,high and sour.

Wrap her up, into the hotpress, about a week later your party host will remember that SOMEONE, didn't enjoy the festivities.

Won't cost too much to fumigate the gaff, will remember to keep the beer cold next time.

bang bang, no risk.

try it out friend.

Remind me to never invite you to a party in my house.

stepbar

If the OP had said p!ss instead of ****s, this thread would have went some where else.

Luno

Bob Z wrote: »

'cause there was toilet roll going from the glass to your arse

why were ya looking at my arse then :eek:

WIZE

I wonder if you had a pint their and said '' This pint tastes like sh*t''
Would the Bar go quiet with everyone staring at you ?