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Whats in the closet..

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  • 08-07-2009 10:19am
    #1
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭


    Ok..
    There has been a bit of a funky smell in a corner of the office over the last few days.
    I first noticed it on Monday morning when I came in but didn't really think too much of it.
    Nothing too bad now, not an overpowering stench, but definitely unpleasant and noticeable.

    Yesterday it was worse and other people did comment about it, But I figured hey..
    It could just be one of the guys who cycled in and is a bit whiffy.

    So in I come today and the smell is bloody awful, beyond the point of ignoring it awful.
    So I do a bit of investigation and follow the smell to a storage room off the main floor.

    I'm thinking old lunch, maybe a dead mouse..
    Nope way off.

    Somebody has taken a big crap right in the middle of the store cupboard.
    :eek::eek::eek:
    And this thing is massive,
    It looks like a bloody cow pat... but with sweetcorn.

    WTF???
    I mean really..

    I work in a pretty small engineering office,
    There is normally about 5 of us here including the receptionist, and it's an open plan office.
    There is a bloody door code to get into the building..

    The property management company are based in one of the other buildings in the estate and we've rung them to send somebody down to "have a look at something"

    I cant wait to see the look on his face.


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Comments

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    #2
    PirateShampoo
    Registered Users Posts: 4,406 ✭✭✭PirateShampoo


    To the security cameras Batman


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    #3
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    I dont think it's possible to 'dust' for crap.


  • Options
    #4
    WIZE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    My hidden Gayness


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    #5
    Fink Goddie
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭Fink Goddie


    LOL that story made me laugh!
    The sh1t that goes on these days :D


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    #6
    FunkZ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,179 ✭✭✭FunkZ


    Tom Cruise is in the closet!


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    #7
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    PirateShampoo wrote: »
    To the security cameras Batman
    There aren't any in the office.

    The property management guy let out an almighty "What the Fcuk?" and then just started breaking himself laughing.

    Were kind of hoping it's a reallly big dog's or something that the cleaner locked in the room when he was here..
    But ...
    :o

    Man what a weird Wednesday morning.


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    #8
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    FunkZ wrote: »
    Tom Cruise is in the closet!
    And now R Kelly is in there with him.

    Get out of the closet Tom Cruise and R Kelly!!!!:D


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    #9
    Fink Goddie
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭Fink Goddie


    Tom Cruise is so small he's in the drawer!


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    #10
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    Fink Goddie wrote: »
    Tom Cruise is so small he's in the drawer!

    Hmmm...


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    #11
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Did you have any workmen in doing anything recently? Laying cable perhaps?


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    #12
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    WindSock wrote: »
    Did you have any workmen in doing anything recently? Laying cable perhaps?

    Funny looking cable!


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    #13
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    WindSock wrote: »
    Did you have any workmen in doing anything recently? Laying cable perhaps?
    Heh :D

    Nah, we've no onsite sparks in this office,


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    #14
    Fink Goddie
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭Fink Goddie


    Captain Darling wrote: »
    Hmmm...

    Ah but you couldnt help but comment because you loved it really :D


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    #15
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    There are 3 things it could be.
    • Has anyone had an upset stomach lately?
    • Are there any shenanigans going on between co-workers?
    • Anyone get sacked lately/anyone about to get sacked?


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    #16
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Why did you feel the need to share this information with us?


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    #17
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    phasers wrote: »
    Why did you feel the need to share this information with us?

    Because I thought it was more interesting than most of the other threads on the go in AH at the moment


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    #18
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Wazdakka wrote: »
    Because I thought it was more interesting than most of the other threads on the go in AH at the moment
    You were wrong


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    #19
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    TheZohan wrote: »
    There are 3 things it could be.
    • Has anyone had an upset stomach lately?
    • Are there any shenanigans going on between co-workers?
    • Anyone get sacked lately/anyone about to get sacked?

    Nope,
    Nope,
    And Nope..

    Theres even a door key aswell as the code that only a few of us have,
    so unless it happened when we were all here it must have been the cleaner on monday morning.

    There is a toilet down the hall..
    The mind boggels..
    :confused:


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    #20
    thomond2006
    Registered Users Posts: 45,433 ✭✭✭✭thomond2006


    What's in my closet?

    Eh... Shergar. ;)


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    #21
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    TheZohan wrote: »
    [*]Anyone get sacked lately/anyone about to get sacked?
    [/LIST]

    That was going to be my first guess =P


    The OP mentioned there aren't a lot of staff. Is there a uni-sex toilet? I've worked for car dealers before. One toilet, one big health risk. God love you if any of the lads were on the sauce the night before :rolleyes:

    Maybe someone was caught short? When I say someone I mean a guy. I'd rather combust than sh1t in a cupboard :/


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    #22
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Need to call the C.S.I. team...Closet Sh-- Investigation...


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    #23
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Going for a crap in a closet!! Who in their right mind would do such a thing. OP will there be any repercussions?


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    #24
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 23,993 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    The phantom sh1tter strikes again!


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    #25
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Maybe someone was caught short? When I say someone I mean a guy. I'd rather combust than sh1t in a cupboard :/
    The differences between a man and a women never cease to amaze Pighead.

    Here we have a lady who professes to prefer death than to do a poo in a cupboard whereas Pighead would poo in a cupboard if someone offered him a mars bar for doing so. Guess it comes down to how happy you are with the shape of your bum at the end of the day.


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    #26
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 23,993 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Insurgent wrote: »
    Going for a crap in a closet!! Who in their right mind would do such a thing. OP will there be any repercussions?

    Like the sh1t hitting the fan?


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    #27
    Captain Darling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,542 ✭✭✭Captain Darling


    Insurgent wrote: »
    Going for a crap in a closet!! Who in their right mind would do such a thing. OP will there be any repercussions?
    The sh1t will hit the fan.

    Edit: Oh snap. Got beaten to it!


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    #28
    happyoutscan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,985 ✭✭✭happyoutscan


    Thanks for this! Has me laughing all morn.:D:D:D


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    #29
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Pighead wrote: »
    Whereas Pighead would poo in a cupboard if someone offered him a mars bar for doing so.
    Mars bar for a mars bar eh?
    Guess it comes down to how happy you are with the shape of your bum at the end of the day.
    Im rather happy with it actually.


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    #30
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    I had a similar experience. I worked in the train station in Cork for a couple of summers and there was a portakabin near the taxi rank where we kept cleaning supplies . One day i went in there to get something and noticed there was a rotten smell but i could'nt figure out where it was coming from. This went on for a few days until i decided to try and find the source of the smell. I looked around inside the portakabin and then found that one of the boxes had a huge piece of **** on it.

    I had to get someone to help me carry this box down to the skip. We pretty much ran with the box down to the skip as it was so disgusting it was making us gag.

    We reckoned since the portakabin was next to the taxi rank that one of the taxi drivers was to lazy to walk to the toilets in the station and just went for a **** inside the portakabin.

    Dirty bastard.


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    #31
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Is there a uni-sex toilet?:/
    Nope, there's two..
    And they're both spotlessly clean.
    Insurgent wrote: »
    OP will there be any repercussions?
    Bloody will be If I catch them.
    They took a crap in a cupboard 6ft from my desk ffs.


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