Too embarrassed to go to the gym

G-Money

Hello,

Long story cut short, I've always been overweight, joined Dundrum gym a few years ago, managed to lose some weight, it's crept back on, joined Westwood Leopardstown last Autumn, lost some more weight but haven't been back since about November last year.

Basically I want to get thin and as wussy as this is for a guy to admit, I'm embarrassed to go back to Westwood Leopardstown in the shape I'm in. I'm about 17.5 stone and no doubt horribly unfit once again. I was thinking about going back but the thought of walking back in is kind of intimidating me, especially all the posh feckers walking around in perfect shape.

Just wondering is there another way for me to burn some fat and drop some weight until such times that I feel better about going back? I live just over 1 mile from work and it's a 20 min or so walk each way. I'm just wondering if that is enough though. I don't have a bicycle and I'm not so good on them either so that's not an option at the moment.

I thought about maybe going for a run around where I live but I'm not really sure how far to go, and how long for and at what intensity. To be honest it would have to be a low intensity at the start anyway.

I'm 5ft 10 and I want to get down to between 11 and 12 stone.

Sorry for losing my balls just the self esteem is a bit low at the moment.

thanks.

Outkast_IRE

I got a rowing machine for at home and watched what i was eating then when in better shape headed to gym

Spiritoftheseventies

yeah go for walks regularly. do a little a lot.

flanree

You can try juice fasting. I have done a few times, I usually lose about 8 - 10kg each time. It requires you NOT to exercise so no gym involved.

amacachi

Juice fasting? Sounds interesting.

If you're that worried about the gym (which you shouldn't be, but I'll leave that to other people) then sort out your diet and get active. Walk around, just do stuff. Play a sport, anything.

celestial

This kinda issue comes up a fair bit on here, and the ironic thing is - you feel bad and embarrassed and your self-esteem is low because you aren't doing things like working out. Go to the gym, nobody is gonna give you a moment's thought - work out, feel better, and you won't look back.

itsallaboutheL

flanree wrote: »

You can try juice fasting. I have done a few times, I usually lose about 8 - 10kg each time. It requires you NOT to exercise so no gym involved.

i get the feeling i don't want you to but would you Explain this??

celestial

flanree wrote: »

You can try juice fasting. I have done a few times, I usually lose about 8 - 10kg each time. It requires you NOT to exercise so no gym involved.

not sure how this kind of ridiculous advice helps the OP?

G-Money

Thanks for the advice so far. I think my preferred course of action is to do more walking and drop a little weight that way and then maybe head back to the gym. That's how I'm feeling at the moment anyway.

I don't really know what the juice diet is. I'm guessing though it's something like replacing most meals with some sort of juice for a period of time. Not really for me though. I think it's better to have a balanced normal diet.

TerrorFirmer

No offence but at 17.5 stone, a good diet alone without any exercise whatsoever would see the weight fall off. You don't have to go eating shoots and leaves, but a moderately good diet with a small bit of exercise (even a 30 minute walk) would see good results within a small timeframe. A lot of failures stem from people aiming too high (strict 'ideal' but unrealistic diets, even stricter exercise regimes) and then falling off the wagon. Start slow, cut out a bit of the rubbish and excess, and start going for small walks, even if its only to work.

flanree

If by ridiculous you mean vague, that's fair enough. The diet I went on has a fair bit of explaining involved. I would be happy to pass on a more thorough explanation via PM but it's a lot to type into a post!

itsallaboutheL

flanree wrote: »

If by ridiculous you mean vague, that's fair enough. The diet I went on has a fair bit of explaining involved. I would be happy to pass on a more thorough explanation via PM but it's a lot to type into a post!

And not a lot to type in PM????

Start a differnt thread about it...

flanree

I used the program available from www.fasting.com, which I bought. If I was a bit cryptic its because they make a big song and dance about copyright. I would recommend it wholeheartedly though. Its along the lines of detox. As the OP guessed its basically replacing food with fruit & veg juices for a few weeks. It surprised me because after the first 2 or 3 days my hunger dissappeared. I'm just speaking from personal experience on something that actually works and only involves fresh fruit and veg, nothing else.

mloc

I'm gonna jump in here and call shananigans on the juice diet.

Juice ain't good for weight loss, and replacing large amounts of whole foods with juice is a metabolic nightmare.

Similarly, fasting ain't good for weight loss. If you are trying to speed up your metabolism to shift that weight for good, you don't want to slow it down with fasting techniques.

brianthebard

Op I'm 16 stone or thereabouts and its never stopped me going ot the gym, you're a bit heavier than me but not a whole lot. Just go, you'd be surprised how many people that are in worse shape than you or that can't lift as much as you. Most of the time everyone's in their own little world.

amacachi

mloc wrote: »

I'm gonna jump in here and call shananigans on the juice diet.

For you.

LimeFruitGum

OP, seriously nobody is going to be repulsed by you or anything Even the so-called perfect people are in the gym because they want to work on specific areas.
Strangers don't talk to each other in any gyms I've been to; people are there to do their thing and that's it.

What are you doing food-wise? Even if all you did was lay off the booze or reduced portion sizes for a couple of weeks, you would see a difference without having to resort to fancy diets.

itsallaboutheL

LimeFruitGum wrote: »

OP, seriously nobody is going to be repulsed by you or anything Even the so-called perfect people are in the gym because they want to work on specific areas.
Strangers don't talk to each other in any gyms I've been to; people are there to do their thing and that's it.

What are you doing food-wise? Even if all you did was lay off the booze or reduced portion sizes for a couple of weeks, you would see a difference without having to resort to fancy diets.

I always talk to everybody!! they tend not to realise you've taken over whatever they were using if you lull them into a false sense of friendliness!

floggg

flanree wrote: »

I used the program available from www.fasting.com, which I bought. If I was a bit cryptic its because they make a big song and dance about copyright. I would recommend it wholeheartedly though. Its along the lines of detox. As the OP guessed its basically replacing food with fruit & veg juices for a few weeks. It surprised me because after the first 2 or 3 days my hunger dissappeared. I'm just speaking from personal experience on something that actually works and only involves fresh fruit and veg, nothing else.

Sounds like a great diet. Kinda like a slightly higher cal version of the bobby sands diet.

OP, i was up until very rececntly a member of WW leopardstown. Unless the clientele has changed drastically, there are very very few people there with perfect bodies. I imagine there is like 6, 7 tops. Most peopl are completely out of shape. Heck when i joined i was 5ft 10 and 16 stone. Went i left (to join another gym) i was 11.5 stone. You will not be out of place, you not be stared at, nonody will care.

I understand where you are coming from, because i was there myself, but trust me, the only way to change is to get up and do something about it. If you really dont want to go to the gym, try the couch to 5k programme as a start.

And when you do go to the gym, make sure to do weights as well - don't slave away endlessly on some stepercise machine. They would do my head in and you will only end up quitting. With weights, you can mix it up, challenge yourself and keep it interesting, and they are also fantastic for weight loss when done in conjunction with a good diet.

itsallaboutheL

I don't like the emphasis people are putting on weight in this forum... Body Composition is more like it!!

5'11 15 stone FTW

legend365

The gym is for losing weight first.

Then perfecting the body you acheived second.

Canis Lupus

OP just go to the gym. No one cares what size you are and no one will even care about you They're in the gym to do their own thing.

It doesn't matter how unfit or large you are. Picture me at the moment in the weights section surrounded by big dudes and I'm failing at pull ups and chin ups. I have to do negatives which involves jumping up and letting myself down slowly looking like a ejit in the process but I still do it.

Actually it's a good confidence booster to just say ***** it* to yourself and do it.

ragg

get the **** back into the gym. Don't be embarressed. go in and kick arse with your head held high - why waste all the money and not go?

walking for an hour a day is fine. Lifting weights for 45 minutes and doing cardio for 15 is far better. you can drop about 5 kgs a month if you put your mind to it.

numanuma

You go to the gym for yourself. Do not look at anyone when your there, focus on your own routine. Losing weight is your motivation so do it. Once you start to see the results again you will be delighted with yourself. You are there for you not to be some poser. Its admirable to be doing smth about the weight so dont let anyone tell you differently or make you feel uncomfortable.

Khannie

For what it's worth....

grandmaster wrote: »

the thought of walking back in is kind of intimidating me, especially all the posh feckers walking around in perfect shape.

.....posh feckers bit aside (NORTHSIDERRRR!!!), I'm one of those skinny heads you'd see around the gym and I can honestly say that I have huge respect for the really overweight people in my gym who have decided to change their lifestyle.

Not sure if that helps at all.

Anyway....I wont push you to go back to the gym straight away. Examine your diet first. As others have said, and you seem inclined to, just clean it up. Eat well but not excessivly. Increase the amount of exercise you're doing by walking or what not. You will probably see very good results very quickly. Maybe pick a weight target (say 16 stone) and once you hit it, head to the gym. Otherwise you might find it a difficult mental hurdle to overcome (am I thin enough yet? etc. etc.).

Good luck! Let us know how you get on.

MargeS

grandmaster wrote: »

Basically I want to get thin and as wussy as this is for a guy to admit, I'm embarrassed to go back to Westwood Leopardstown in the shape I'm in. I'm about 17.5 stone and no doubt horribly unfit once again. I was thinking about going back but the thought of walking back in is kind of intimidating me, especially all the posh feckers walking around in perfect shape.

Sorry for losing my balls just the self esteem is a bit low at the moment.

I've attended gyms over the years and you get all sorts of people there. Yes, people do look around them and they don't just pay attention to themselves. Mostly guys looking for something to do between sets.
I hated that and it used to make me feel uncomfortable. It still does, but I try to focus on myself. But I often think maybe they feel uncomfortable because they are just standing there sucking on a bottle of water!

When I see an over weight person in the gym I think 'well at least they have the motivation to do something about it. They have an interest in themselves'.

eightyfish

F*ck everyone else and go to the gym for you.

Alternatively, buy a bike and start cycling around. Perfect time of year to start, great way of loosing weight, and it's fun. Plus you might be able to get a bike under the cycle to work scheme.

helimachoptor

Khannie wrote: »

For what it's worth....



.....posh feckers bit aside (NORTHSIDERRRR!!!), I'm one of those skinny heads you'd see around the gym and I can honestly say that I have huge respect for the really overweight people in my gym who have decided to change their lifestyle.

Not sure if that helps at all.

Would agree with Khannie, I'm 5'11 and about 13 stone. Sp pretty average but had been hitting the gym hard enough over the last while so would have a lower BF content now while staying the same weight.

But in the gym there are a few guys who are pretty big and it takes courage to walk in and start working hard, but it does pay off!

Killme00

OP,

I get frustrated when i hear someone say they are afraid to go to the gym. I understand the fear of getting punched in boxing or getting hurt while paragliding but being afraid to go to the gym is ridiculous. What are you afraid of? If someone laughs at you because you are fat, then so what, there just dicks (*) and you'll always be better than them. Please stop giving a fck how you think people are looking at you and get on with it.

And at 17.5 stone, you'll make loads of progress quite quickly if you eat properly and excercise regularly. I know a guy who was 132kg when he started back training. Even at 132kg he started going to the gym again, wasnt afraid to go swimming or for a sauna to relax, yes he did care how fat he was and yes he did care how people looked at him but no he wasnt going to let any of that stop him.

Oh and this bull about losing weight so you can go to the gym is so strange that i almost want to put it in excel so i can watch that beautiful cyclical error pop up.

If your state of mind is linked to how fat or skinny you are then that is what you need to change more than anything else in your life, no amount of dieting or excercise will fix that.

Khannie

Give the lad a break. People are self conscious at the best of times. There's a multi billion euro makeup market because of it.

Killme00

OP,

I'd like to point out that i'm not flaming you in any way. Some people just need a good shake to see sense, others need a foot in the arse. Ive never been one for this pity bullchit and it wont do you any good in the long run.

Tough love ftw. If you need someone to crack a few heads in your gym, im there!

yeneewss

When you were in the gym, did you think about the big guys who were there "Oh my God, they are so fat!" or did you think "Well fair F**ks to them for coming and doing something about it."? My response would be the latter. I hope yours would be do. Self-esteem being low is hard but every step you take, walking, jogging, striding, whatever, is a step towards feeling better. You sound like a lovely guy to be honest. Get out and walk, or go to the gym. Most people there are there for themselves, are concentrating on what they are doing or watching tv or whatever. Just do something to get moving. You know you want to!!!!! Oh, and by a t-shirt (Nike, I think) that says "Just do it!"
Good luck and big hugs.

Spiritoftheseventies

i dont think the gym will necessarily be the answers to your problems. know three people in my gym and they stayed the same weight. Like i said before regular walking a good idea or anything that keeps you away from temptation.

bada_bing

You should go to the gym, i've been going for years and i've never stopped to look at someone and think 'god what a fatty!!' . Nope, i'm too busy focusing on my own workout and training, i couldn't care less whether a stranger is overweight or not. Unless you happen to be hogging a machine for ages, or leaving weights all over the place then i'll think 'what a w*anker that guy is!' but other than that , nothing else crosses my mind.

neuro-praxis

I used to go to the gym regularly, but truly hated the public aspect of it. I was usually the only woman there, very overweight, and men absolutely did shoot me nasty looks and/or speak to me in a patronising manner. (Not all of them.)

So, I bought an exercise bike and some free weights, which I use five mornings a week, before the day begins, while watching episodes of The Simpsons. :pac: I cycle about 10k, keeping my heart rate between 80 and 90% of its maximum.

I also go for a walk approx 3 times a week in the evenings for 40-80 mins, usually with my husband or a friend, and have a good chat. I also play frisbee with friends in the park during fine weather and get in the odd swim. This is all stuff I enjoy and I have seen and continue to see good results, but more than that I feel great.

The gym is not the only way. Good luck!

daveyboy_1ie

I was kind of in the same situation a few years ago and I bought myself an exercise bike and basically found space in the spare room and put a telly in there and watched Eastenders whilst cylcing for the full half hour, 4 times a week just for a routine and a month of this I had lost a stone beleive it or not, also helps that once you are exercising you eat less and more healthier and find more energy etc.

Its a small thing but it helped me and then I stepped up the exercising after that to more rounded regime but it helped to have a fixed exercise time and it helped me get into that frame of mind, if you know what I mean?

The hardest bit of any exercising is starting, once you start and can see progress happening it should be easier to stick to it. hope this helps.

Strive

Firstly let me tell you, I doubt that people will judge you if you go to the gym overweight. Simply because, by going you are showing that you have recognised you have a health problem and are adressing it.

As a regular gym user, I can tell you, the person who impressed me the most, was this dude that probably weighed the same as you, but was about 5-6. I saw this guy about a year ago, pop up regularly in gym, and started walking on treadmill at high speed for about an hour for first month.

He then progressed to a light jog, and some basic weight lifting with light weights. A year later, and the guy now weighs 12 stone, and is still up there 3 to 4 times a week. I have way more respect for this guy than anyone else, because the transformation this guy has made is mind blowing.

One bit of advice, clean up your diet, cut down on booze, watch carb intake (try keep it to 20g a day for first two weeks), get lots of protein, fruit and veg, and drink loads of water.

Man don't even think that people will judge you at the gym, if they do, they are pathetic, and their views are irrelavent.

The only thing you should be ashamed of, is if you don't start exercising!

Good luck

Krusader

I weighed nearly 16 stone and i joined the Carlisle 6 weeks ago and absolutely love it, i've dropped just over 1/2 stone and everyone is commenting on how better I look and my skin feels better also from all the water i drink when im there.
I haven't changed my diet much, but i dont drink much alcohol so this helps
No one judges you in the gym, we are all there for the same purpose

daveyboy_1ie

Strive wrote: »

Man don't even think that people will judge you at the gym, if they do, they are pathetic, and their views are irrelavent.

Here here, if people are pathetic to judge you then thats their problem, not yours. Only person you should be doing this for is you, and be damned with them

slemons

Ex fat kid/guy here too.
All i can say is that its not easy.
But once you get into it, its the best feeling in the world when you see the weight dropping off.
But you have to make the first step. No-one else can do it for you.
It has to be you.
And all it is, is a small decision.
It'll gather momentum and you'll look back and laugh at this...

If you do need help, then try looking up the Sedona Method. Its about the most useful 'self help' thing i found. (I used be mad as a box of frogs fúcked up i thought so i had to change that, now im just delighted being fúcked up. Who cares? I dont...) And you could condense it down to a one-liner.

Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself 'Could i release that embarrased feeling?, Would i release that embarressed feeling? When?'

Good luck man.
Make a commitment. Its not gonna be easy, but it is gonna be rewarding!

G-Money

Thanks for all the feedback so far, some very useful posts. I'm a little lighter now than I was when I was at my heaviest which was 252.4 lbs lbs last summer. I was the same weight about 4 or 5 years ago and I joined Dundrum gym, lost 3 1/2 stone in 6 months (sorry for swapping lbs for stones) then for some reason kind of slacked off. By that point I was 14.5 stone and I wanted to get to 12 stone but I don't know why but I kind of just slacked off and over time let the weight creep back on. I know it's stupid that I did that, but that's what happened. Joined Weightwatchers last year then and lost about 2.5 stone but didn't feel as motivated as I did a few years ago when I joined Dundrum gym. I got sick in November. Nothing major, just a bad flu which had me down for a week or two then got a cold as soon as the flu had gone which kept me out of the gym for a couple of weeks. Then for whatever reason, lazyness, procrastination, or whatever, I didn't go back.

Anyway I just wanted to post here last night as it was kind of doing my head in thinking about it. I don't know why it's bothering me now when I'm no heavier than I was when I last started going.

Unfortunately my mood or mind is often tied to how I think I look. Regardless of whether that's right or wrong, good or bad, it's how it is at the moment. I'm not sure how to break that dependency but I suppose in a twisted way, if it motivates me to get thin and stay thin, then I don't care so much.

Once again, thanks for all the tips.

LimeFruitGum

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

I always talk to everybody!! they tend not to realise you've taken over whatever they were using if you lull them into a false sense of friendliness!

Oooh crafty! I like it!! :-D

Eire Go Brach

You could always start running. I know its tough to get over the embarrassment but what ever you decide on. you just have to say in your head " **** it".

When you exercise it will make you feel better and good about yourself.

As a jogger in the phoenix park i have seen some weird shapes and sizes. But when i see overweight people running or roller blading etc. I think to myself "Fair play to them there trying to sort themselves out"

Spiritoftheseventies

wouldnt start with the jogging. start off with the walking and see how you find it.

d'Oracle

grandmaster wrote: »

Unfortunately my mood or mind is often tied to how I think I look. Regardless of whether that's right or wrong, good or bad, it's how it is at the moment. I'm not sure how to break that dependency but I suppose in a twisted way, if it motivates me to get thin and stay thin, then I don't care so much.

Change your motivation.
Do some reading.

Make getting fitter and stronger your motivation.
Strong and fit means healthy.
If your looks are the prime mover for change, then it might lead to your growing mentally tired waiting for the moment when you feel you look great.
Or worse, that might not happen.

But if you train to get fitter and stronger, your bodyshape will eventually become more appealing to yourself and you will also become more confident in your own ability to challenge yourself.

Train to be fit and strong, not to lose the pounds.

Thats my thinking anyway.
Its like the difference between dieting and changing what and how you eat.

Spiritoftheseventies

if you have been to the gym before and still putting on weight your diet would seem to be the problem. so you need to look after that first before wasting money on a gym. its counter productive.

Jamie32

OP I understand how you might feel intimidated when going to the gym. I was once just over 17.5 stone. Friends and family had been (not in a mean way) telling me that I had put on weight. I was livid! I really had to sit down and decide to use these comments to motivate me. I went and joined the gym (didn't exactly like the way I looked) but I had to do it.

What worked for me was keeping all of the slaggings/comments people had been making, kept them fresh in my mind. I kept asking myself is this the way I wanna go through life? My main motivation in the gym was walking into the weights area with the earphones in, pump up some really loud aggressive music and just explode into your routine going to war on every machine/weight (after warming up and stretching of course!). This worked for me, i'm now 15 stone with 10% BF, still a little bit to go, but i know i'm nearly there! 6 months this took me.

Use all of the annoying condescending looks and comments and take it out on the weights and machines dude!

Best of luck, remain focused and you'll be surprised what a bit of aggression can achieve in your workouts.

rainbow kirby

OP, a year ago I was 15 stone (which is a hell of a lot because I'm only 5'6"). I realised I needed to do something about it, so I started the Couch to 5k running program and started watching my diet. I was too self-conscious to exercise in very public places because of my size, so I used a relatively secluded river path near my house to run along. Somewhere along the line I kinda got hooked on running, and I completed my first half-marathon last weekend. I'm down to just under 11 stone too. You can do it if you put your mind to it - Couch to 5k and Starting Strength are two good starting points, and at 17.5 stone the weight will go at a good rate if you keep an eye on what you're eating and work out regularly.

RacoonQueen

Khannie wrote: »

For what it's worth....



.....posh feckers bit aside (NORTHSIDERRRR!!!), I'm one of those skinny heads you'd see around the gym and I can honestly say that I have huge respect for the really overweight people in my gym who have decided to change their lifestyle.

Aye, same, except I'm not quite a skinny head just slim enough. Saw a very overweight couple there on Thursday night...both drenched in sweat and just thought ''God isn't that great they're getting healthier together, fair play" they could have stopped at the chipper on the way home for all I know though.

G-Money

Khannie wrote: »

.....posh feckers bit aside (NORTHSIDERRRR!!!)

I'm actually from Northern Ireland and not a northsider :cool:

Thanks for all the advice and support so far. I briefly checked out the couch to 5k programme and it seems surprisingly straight forward and achievable. Am currently clearing out the crap from my apartment so from tomorrow onwards there should just be healthy stuff here.

Cremated

brianthebard wrote: »

Op I'm 16 stone or thereabouts and its never stopped me going ot the gym, you're a bit heavier than me but not a whole lot. Just go, you'd be surprised how many people that are in worse shape than you or that can't lift as much as you. Most of the time everyone's in their own little world.

OP I'm about 6'2 and a big guy, I started at 24st 6, and joined the gym at 22st 6,

and down to 19st 8 now,

if people have a problem with you for being a big guy it's their problem, not yours, a lot of people go to the gym because they need to lose weight,

just go for it I think...