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Why didn't he tell me?

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  • I'm shocked at some of the responses here. Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship and he has not been honest. He has kept something secret which is a really big deal. Yes maybe in a perfect world, love would be all that mattered, but I think he should have told her about potential difficulties having kids or the fact he has a shortened life span. No, none of us know what will happen in the future, but when you DO know, I think you owe it to your partner to be honest with them. He seems to have misled her, and while I feel for him and I'm sure he had no malicious intentions, that's a pretty big deal.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 53 ✭✭Front


    marslip wrote: »
    I do love him, very much. THats why this is all so hard - if he really loved me and saw this as more than some kind of stop gap, then why wouldn't he even trust me to tell me something that will have such an effect on my life/our life together going forward?


    I don't blame you for your reaction - much like I don't blame him for his. You should stay with him - but it is easy for me to say that. He should have told you - again easy for me to say. The potential cost of him telling you was his future happiness - i.e. the risk of losing you. The potential cost of you staying with him through this is being widowed at 40 - with no children and alone.- but if you walk away will you find a man you love? do you cut this man adrift never to see him again, I don't think it's possible to do so if you love someone.- no guarantees.

    This is a no win situation for either party. Good luck


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