Body Image

pikachucheeks

Hi everyone,
Not sure how many of you managed to catch Midday on TV3 today, but the all-female panel spent most of the show discussing body image,their perceptions of themselves when they look in the mirror and the whole world of dieting, weight loss etc...

One of the guests, Fiona Looney was really honest about it - She admitted to weighing herself up to three times a day and basically said while she could accept she wasn't overweight, she was obsessed with her appearance and asking her not to monitor her weight was like asking her "not to breathe"

So, my question is, when you look in the mirror, what do you see? Are you happy with yourself, or do you see room for improvement? Do you diet, or are you content to be the way you are?

Your thoughts and comments please!

LadyE

I have a distorted look of my body, which I'm sure most girls can relate to.

I know I'm not fat, but I do have fat days. Actually one week of a month would be a fat week..this would be regardless of my weight tho. When I was a size 4 I still had a fat week, that hasn't changed when I became an 8.

Ive never dieted, but Ive done the "I'm soooo going on a diet tomorrow", and if I look in the mirror I sometimes see (really) fat legs/head/tummy and Ive been upset...Ive always regarded that as normal, because I know the next week I wont care and it hasn't given me an unhealthy relationship with food.

So basically, 75% of the time Im happy, but 25% of the time I could list my body flaws over an A4 notepad.

skywards

I've come to accept the fact that I probably have hay in my hair and I'm not the prettiest girl on the planet. I don't think I'm fat, and I don't think I'm super thin either. I'm happy with myself. I don't care if other people don't like me or how I look, at the end of the day its only my opinion that matters to me..

pikachucheeks

I used to have a negative view of my body - I was very self conscious.
I still am, at times - everyone has bad days. But in general, I accept me for me.

I looked in the mirror earlier and I'm happy to say all my thoughts were positive - which makes a change!

I've been making a conscious effort to get fitter this summer and in the past few weeks, I've become happier with my appearance, definitely!

I know I'm not perfect, but at this point in my life, I feel I have a healthy attitude towards myself which I'm thankful for, given all the media pressures and constant reminders of size 0, 'thin is in' crap!

Agent Smith

Speaking from a Male Perspective. I admit i'm no addonis, and i dont expect all women to be helens of troy

As an irish guy, i can perfectly accept irish women not being golden brown, or not being size 0 (I personnally think that stick thin women can look horrendious. look at linsey lohan before and after her massaive weightgain.)

i believe once people are happy being who they are, i think their true beauty shows out.

skywards

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I've been making a conscious effort to get fitter this summer and in the past few weeks, I've become happier with my appearance, definitely!

Yay! Go ride some horses, you'll feel even better .

Maple

i've good days and bad days.

when i was younger, i used have a terrible body image resulting in messing around with starving myself/vomiting/mis-use of laxatives but thankfully i copped onto that before it took too serious a hold.

i'm no supermodel but i'm me, i just want to be healthy and have a laugh rather than be obsessing over calories. i know when too much is too much and i have to cut down on foods in order to get back to my normal weight.

i think being confident in yourself is hugely important and its also very attractive in a person.

liah

For the most part I'm not bothered enough to actually go out and make an effort to lose the extra weight. I'm not fat, by any means, but I suppose I could afford to tone up. I'm relatively happy with myself though.

Once in awhile like another few posters mentioned I'll have a fat day/week. Having one of those this week, actually. Uncool.

Beth1978

Hi OP

Yes I saw Midday today too and found it to be both frank and honest...refreshing to hear on Irish tv. I can't say I'm happy with my body no and can't remember a time in my life when I ever was...but....I'm currently working on that and going the gym and things seem to be getting better. It's given me more of a positive mental attitude and therefore I've joined some other things...swimming, etc. I also know that when I'm not happy with myself that this comes across to others and shows I'm lacking in confidence. I know its such an American thing to say but I know I have to learn to like what I see before others do.

allabouteve

I'm flat as a pancake and scrawny as hell. I'd love parts that stick out, but at 31 I've come to accept its never going to happen.

Growing up, I had a particular problem in school when all the other girls started developing and I stayed like a pre-adolescent. I remember asking my mother to buy me a bra (in my teens) and she laughed at me and said it wasn't urgent!

I feel a stab of envy the odd time when I compare myself with a more shapely woman, but I've learned never to compare. I just try to enjoy the fact that I can get away with more food sins than most other women can.

Lia_lia

Only recently I've started feeling a bit off about my weight and all that.
Up until this year I could eat all I want and not put on weight. When I was about 15-17 I was very active. Going to the gym most days, rowing, karate. Then I stopped because of school and I injured my knee. But I was still the same size whether I exercised or not.

But in the last year I've put on about a stone. I guess my metabolism has slowed down. Plus I've had to change my pill and this has definitely something to do with my weight increase (bigger boobs, though!). I'm by no means fat, just have a bit of a belly now.

I still never weigh myself though. We have never had a weighing scales at home because my mother thinks it unhealthy as none of us in the house need to lose weight.



Good thing about this weight increase is that I'm trying to eat healthier. So I guess that's alright!

fedor29

lia lia best thing you can do is send me a pic of yourself so i can give you my opinion. im here to help

fedor29

eh you too liah

4zn76tysfajdxp

fedor29 wrote: »

lia lia best thing you can do is send me a pic of yourself so i can give you my opinion. im here to help

fedor29 wrote: »

eh you too liah

PM sent.

Wibbs

fedor29 ease up on that direction you're on. This forum is not for that. Thanks.

minidazzler

I hate weighing scales. They put a number on beauty that just can't be put there. People think a low number means they are beautiful, but that is not true, it's utter bull in fact. Beauty to me is something thats felt.


I also dislike mirrors. The saying goes that the Camera adds 10 lbs, but I think mirrors add the perception of another 20 to someone who is not feeling good about themselves.


I'll give an example.

Back in December I did no exercise, I was 6'2" and 200 lbs, I didn't like my Body too much.

In January I started running alot, at least every 2 days.

By March I was 6'3 and ~200lbs, but I was going up and down 7 lbs through out the day. But after running I would look in the Mirror basically naked and sweating and thought I looked fantastic. But I didn't look much different, It was just my state of mind.

Now, I haven't been able to run much and I feel bad about my body again, still no major changes, although I have put on a bit of a gut, (which will be gone by end of summer).

What I am trying to say, it's about how you feel on the inside, exercise releases endorphins, they make you happy, you look in the mirror and you will more likely be happy about yourself.

So remember ladies and gentlemen, you most likely look better than YOU think.

g'em

I have a slightly skewed view of my body - I tend not to look at my body in purely aesthetics terms, I look at my body and immediately think about what it can do, and it can do quite a lot.

I train 4-5 times a week, I lift heavy stuff, I work hard to give my body good fuel and keep it functioning as a efficiently as it can. My body is far from perfect, but with my hand on my heart I can say in all honesty that the bits I don't like are greatly outweighed by the knowledge that the sum of all the parts of my body, good and bad, allow me to do some pretty cool things.

My ass is big, but it gives me leverage in the bottom (no pun intended!) of a lift. My thighs are massive, but they hold the strength that allowed me to deadlift 135kg on Monday. My back is wide but it allows me to support ~ 100kg on my chest without toppling forward. My shoulders are rounded and higher than average, but they let me hold my bodyweight over my head with ease.

As I get older (big 3-0 this year) my mental image of my body is softening, I'm accepting the limitations I have and appreciating that even though I may not look ready to grace the catwalks of Milan that really. doesn't. matter.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I've been making a conscious effort to get fitter this summer and in the past few weeks, I've become happier with my appearance, definitely!

Actively making an effort to take care of your body will give you infinitely better confidence levels, knowing that you're giving the one and only body you have the best tlc it could wish for pays many, many, many dividends You'll look younger, your skin will be tauter, your general well-being will improve, you'll sleep better, you'll have more energy and be more focused.

In all honesty I look younger now than I did pre-exercising 5 years ago!!

Das Kitty

I don't like my stomach, it sticks out. Even when I was fit as hell and toned everywhere else it still stuck out. I've come to accept it now, it's just how I'm made.

That said, I look in the mirror and I'm quite happy with what I see, even though I'm a bit overweight and not exactly slim, I see a slim person. Logically I know I'm not slim, but I think being happy with what I see provides me that illusion.

I developed a waist about 6 years ago and since then I've liked how I look, regardless of my weight or size. I also have mismatched boobs but I still like them, they're unique!

shellyboo

I'm overweight and as memory serves, always have been... but I have a much better body image now than I did when I was small.

I never thought I was fat until a relative once said to me "ah sure that's all just puppy fat, you'll lose that". I remember thinking, what puppy fat?! And so began the obsession.

All the way through secondary school I thought the same, and while I was overweight, I certainly wasn't the heifer I imagined myself to be. I was maybe a size 18 at most, but I thoght I was a absolute whale.

This alleviated a bit in college when I found that guys were actually attracted to me... but I didn't have a boyfriend so I decided it was because I was fat. Then I got a boyfriend - and his family wanted him to dump me, because I was fat. We stayed together, but my body image plummeted during that time. Don't think it was my boyfriend's fault, he did used to tell me I was gorgeous, but I remember when he used to say it I'd just feel uncomfortable and angry and genuinely thought he was lying. I couldn't see what he saw.

Now... I'd say I have a better body image than most of my thin friends. I can look in the mirror and like most of what I see, most of the time. That's not to say I wouldn't like to lose some weight, I would... but I haven't found an easy way to do it, and I'm not making myself unhappy just to look a little better.

Ginny

I've always had a slightly skewed body image, these days I'm more relaxed but in the past I have had issues with food and thinking I was huge, I've eaten just bananas, grapes and popcorn while doing marathon walks every night, losing 3 stone in the most unhealthiest way ever. I can remember dreading every night out I had with my friends, and spending the whole night thinking everyone was talking about how huge I was and spent most nights comparing myself to everyone else in the room. I remember a point when the bones in my arse hurt if I sat on a wall because I was so thin.
Thankfully a photo at my 21st made me cop on and see that I looked ill, I wouldn't say I had a full blown disorder but I do think I was on the brink at some points.
These days its a different story, being ill about 5 years ago made me gradually put on a good bit of weight which I've battled with on and off since then.
I have my good days and bad days, I have days when I can't look in the mirror and other days when I think I'm the biz..:D Now I'm back in the gym and I'm determined to be healthier, not necessarily skinnier but healthier.

jellie

shellyboo wrote: »

Then I got a boyfriend - and his family wanted him to dump me, because I was fat. We stayed together, but my body image plummeted during that time.

That is AWFUL! did he tell you this or his family? i had an ex tell me his friend told him he had horrible taste in women - that was a lovely feeling.

i always thought i was fat even when i wasnt. looking back of photos of me as a teenager i think "WTF! you were gorgeous!". maybe gorgeous is an exaggeration but i was definitely nowhere near as ugly as i felt.

i think i thought i was fat for so long that i eventually made myself fat! i am overweight, but ive been doing something about it. im only 5ft so any extra weight shows quite easily unfortunately been dieting for a good while now and ive lost nearly 2 stone. its slow and its headwrecking, but i love how my body and shape is changing. every now & then ill look in the mirror and something different will catch my eye - "wow my boobs are looking great now my stomachs a bit smaller!" etc :P

ive always hated my body, but as i see it change im starting to like my curves and certain parts of me. maybe its cause im consciously making an effort to do something about it & im proud of myself when i see the results

Dragan

I have discovered that being happy with how i look has very little to do with how i actually look.

Go back 2 years and i was training 5 to 9 times weekly, very big, very strong. I identified and defined myself by my physicality, so the area's of my physicality that i felt we lacking were like a chain around my neck. I allowed this "inability" to live up the image i had for myself to basically become a noose.

Eventually some injuries and illness would knock me out of training, I would get weaker, smaller and all that. These identifiers i had for myself lessened but there wasn't really any impact. My self image didn't sink.

As i couldn't train and i like to keep busy I got into other things and personal projects. I acknowledged that i both have and enjoy using an artistic streak and all kinds of things came out. Now i take photographs, i write music, i paint and draw and all kinds of good stuff. These activities have allowed me to see that there is a lot more to me than the physical incarnation but a mental and a spiritual side which is worth putting the same thoughts and efforts into that i used to dedicate to my training.

Even my attitude towards training has now changed. I used to be a bit all over, no real goals beyond general size and strenght. I think at the moment i have a stronger drive to train than i have ever had in my life.

Not because i hate my body like i used to, i have accepted myself in that way. Simple because i now VALUE my body more than i ever have and i want it to be strong and healthy and able for the challenges that i want to face.

So, with that my plan is to return to training with the goal of simply being healthy and happy and to train for what i consider to be the best reason in the world to do anything, because i love it.

I think what i am trying to say is that i think it's important to not get hung up on how you look, and to not make the mistake that i made, of allowing that to consume you. But you do need to accept that your body is important and it's, in a way, the very essence of who you are. So you need to accept and respect that.

shellyboo

sar84 wrote: »

That is AWFUL! did he tell you this or his family? i had an ex tell me his friend told him he had horrible taste in women - that was a lovely feeling.

His family told him and then he told me He wasn't allowed talk about me at home at all, and his family never knew we moved in together.

The things I put up with, actually... mad.

bronte

I feel constantly under scrutiny due to my line of work (Acting)
There is a major pressure to be the most talented, most beautiful and skinniest girl in the industry. Even in training, schools will put pressure on girls to lose weight, even when they don't need to.
It drives me NUTS! If I wanted to starve myself for the rest of my days I'd have become a runway model. Not that it's okay in that industry either.
I do not see how being skeletal has anything got to do with being a good actress. Last time I checked, acting was the realistic portrayal of a human being.
Since when have all human beings become size zero?

This damn industry makes me sick sometimes.


GRRRRRRRRRRR...rant over. :mad:

Faith

Yeah, I think I have a skewed body image. I know by my clothes size (12, although I put on exam weight so that's hanging in the balance at the moment!) that I can't be that fat, but I look in the mirror and often see this ugly obese woman staring back at me. My mum played a large part in that, as she's obsessed with her weight and transferred that to me. She'll often tell me that I need to lose weight, with the best of intentions though. It's left with with a lot of hangups. I could spend hours outlining everything that I think is wrong with my body. I'm constantly aware of my stomach, and feel people are staring at it and judging me. It's ridiculous, but it's not something that's easy to change.

metaoblivia

I've never been overweight. Growing up, I did the normal, "oh jeez, I'm so fat," but I knew it wasn't true. I wasn't 100% happy with my body, but I knew that what I picked on was little details. I even did gymnastics - a sport known for body image issues - and I was a big girl compared to most of my teammates because of my height and because I hit puberty several years earlier. But weight was still never really an issue. I was actually much, much more insecure about my face and coloring. I thought I was just hideously ugly.
Now, I'm pretty happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. I never weigh myself because I don't see the point unless you're at the doctor's office. Sometimes I'll nit pick, but I can recognize that pretty quickly and tell myself that I'm nit picking. I've also come to accept a few things, such as my thighs. I would love to have slender, skinny thighs, but I don't. Gymnastics and swimming made sure of that.
The only time I do get unnecessarily nervous is when I have had to see myself in photos or on film. I absolutely dread it. Usually, it ends up being nowhere close to the disaster I imagine. But I still find flaws, and I usually have to view/watch it and put the pictures or the film aside for a few days and come back to it. Then I can look at and say, oh I don't look so bad afterall.

Pyr0

I'm currently becoming more aware of my fitness atm. If I have something which isn't exactly healthy I have a "fat" moment, even though I'm only 10 stone with 12% body fat, I'm hardly chubbs ! So I guess I know how wimmen feel sometimes !

I'd also train whenver I can, all this week i haven't been able to do anything because of work and I feel terrible and unhealthy, even though I know i'm not. Back to the gym over the weekend and monday/tuesday before I go away. That should keep me feeling okay !

ciagr297

Dragan wrote: »

But you do need to accept that your body is important and it's, in a way, the very essence of who you are. So you need to accept and respect that.

absolutely Dragan, i think acceptance is key. yes, everybody wants to change things about themselves but you've also got to work with what you have.
for me, i've always had serious image issues. so much so that i realised i used those issues as a shield against the outside world.

i'm not saying i've got rid of the issues, they'll always be there. but i have been able to look at what i see as flaws from a different angle.

instead of saying i don't like this or this and continuing in that spiral, i accept that i don't like whatever it is and see if i can change it (non-surgically i mean) or hide it discreetly (clothes) and failing that i find that simply accepting makes it seem like a smaller issue and much easier to digest.

and the big moment for me in being able to accept me was when i realised that if i had been as perfect as i want, i would not have gone the places i went, met the people i did or see the world in the same way. and at the end of the day, i value that more than anything

all said, i have good and bad days. i still don't enjoy mirrors but i try to see these things as reconstructive as opposed to destructive

ciagr297

metaoblivia wrote: »

The only time I do get unnecessarily nervous is when I have had to see myself in photos or on film. I absolutely dread it. Usually, it ends up being nowhere close to the disaster I imagine. But I still find flaws, and I usually have to view/watch it and put the pictures or the film aside for a few days and come back to it. Then I can look at and say, oh I don't look so bad afterall.

yup, me too

LauraLoo

to quote allabouteve "but I've learned never to compare"

well said...i think we only start finding faults when we start comparing ourselves to others.

My external family are obsessed with weight. When you see them they'll tell you who's put on loads of weight and whos lost it. Growing up, if you didnt get the "you've lost loaaaaaadddds of weight" it means you've put it on.

Ive come to realise that body image isnt about weight as when i was tiny i still hid in baggy clothes. Im 2 sizes bigger than my smallest and im actually happier and more confident. I am not relying on being tiny to feel attractive- i think real attractiveness comes from confidence, a nice attitude and making the most of what you have.

I am so very unhappy with my body. I weigh myself daily. I am totally obsessed with how I look. I know I can look good when clothed, and I rarely leave the house for a night out not feeling a million dollars but once I'm out the insecurities start to hit. I think alot of it is down to the clothes I would like to wear, I carry weight mostly on my legs so I can't wear short skirts etc. I ALWAYS compare myself to other women, always. It's a horrible feeling.

When I was younger I was so super fit, I did Karate, Basketball, Athletics, Dancing, and of course I could eat what I liked, but I badly injured my knee in Karate and ended up never going back and that was the only sport that I did outside school so once I left school, I left behind all the other activities too. I thought I was fat when I was in school but when I look at the pictures - I was feckin fabulous!

I don't think i'll ever be happy with my looks and I think it's something that is always going to be an issue in my life

Edit; Just to add, noone that meets me would ever think I was so unhappy as I come across as this super confident person who's always happy! I'm sure I'm not the only one like this!

stiff kitten

happish..have been told many times im a good looking gal..
i think i have to work hard at keeping in shape because i think ive a slow metabolism...bit annoying....

face...:)
arms, legs...:)
stomach....:rolleyes:
boobs....:(
ass.....:)

Aisling(",)

I go through phases of hating parts of my body but my only main evil area is my stomach.

Im not fat but it just seems so bulbous and horrible and when i sit crouched down i get the hideous roll of fat under the line of my bra.
Most of the timei dont mind because overall my body isnt too bad but at the moment its really getting me down.I havent had any weight gain being in and around the same weight for the last three years i just keep convincing myself its getting bigger.Even having sex id be concious of how it looks and would try and suck it in as much as possible.

That being said i do eat everything i want without gaining weight and i think the extra flab may just be a result of 6th year where i had to cut back on the time i spent out and about even just walking.

I weigh myself about 2/3 times a day but i only do it out of habit.I dont go my my weight i go by how i feel when i look in the mirror.
Having a fat week this week but even with that id never go for an extremist diet.

so to sumarise im happy enough just annoyed by my belly this week.:P

dancingqueen

I've always been small (I'm a size 6) I'm also only a shortass (5 foot nothing). TBH, I'm well fed up of the comments like "sure you've a lovely figure" and "I wish I was as thin as you"

Do you? Do you wish you couldn't get clothes to fit you because you're too short and too thin? Or adult shoes because your feet are small? It goes both ways - I'd like a bit more, I'd like an arse to fit my jeans, I'd like to be able to buy sexy women's tracksuit pants, not kids ones that look **** I do have a decent cleavage considering my other child like features but still....

Meh.

LivingDeadGirl

My body image fluctuates on a daily basis, some days I think I look great, other days I think I'm the ugliest thing going.I used to be pretty fat so I reckon that that has a lot to do with it. Old habits(or perceptions) die hard I guess, even after losing 2 stone(9st 7lbs atm, lightest I was was 9st 1lb, that rocked). I'm an average height(5'5 and a half) and a broad build, which bugs the shit out of me, because no matter how thin I get, I'll always look 'big.' Not that I'm built like a tank or anything, but I'm a fair bit broader than your average girl. It just bothers me. I've come a long way though, I used to have a terrible self image, now I'd say it's just okay. Main problem area would be my stomach, whenever I'm thinking of what I'll wear to some event or whatever I think 'what weight am I right now? How big is my stomach right now?', I even have certain clothes that I'll only wear when I'm 9st 5lbs and under, bit sad eh? My ideal weight is 9st, with a flat stomach.
I'm also very aware of asymmetry/flaws on my face(and body too), how one side of my nose is broader than the other, that my eyes are too small and are slightly different from one another, one side of my face is wider than the other etc. I don't think anyone is completely aware of how much I feel like this, but I do have very high standards across the board in every aspect of my life, I expect the best from everyone and everything, but especially from myself.

gemmah

Constantly working on my body, doing fit classes non sto, looking even into a personal trainer at the moment! i want the bikini body :mad:

G86

I used to be pretty hung up on it when I was younger, but I'm not anymore really. I stopped eating crap a few years ago and hit the gym; and so long as I'm looking after myself and eating well then I'm fairly confident. I've lost a wee bit of confidence the last while because haven't been working out as much, was in my final year in college and flat out, but I know I'll be back on form soon once I get back at it - so I'm not letting it get me down

Although I do have my off days - you know when you look in the mirror and convince yourself you've gained 10 stone in one night!:o

Lia_lia

Deleted User wrote: »

I am so very unhappy with my body. I weigh myself daily. I am totally obsessed with how I look. I know I can look good when clothed, and I rarely leave the house for a night out not feeling a million dollars but once I'm out the insecurities start to hit. I think alot of it is down to the clothes I would like to wear, I carry weight mostly on my legs so I can't wear short skirts etc. I ALWAYS compare myself to other women, always. It's a horrible feeling.

When I was younger I was so super fit, I did Karate, Basketball, Athletics, Dancing, and of course I could eat what I liked, but I badly injured my knee in Karate and ended up never going back and that was the only sport that I did outside school so once I left school, I left behind all the other activities too. I thought I was fat when I was in school but when I look at the pictures - I was feckin fabulous!

I don't think i'll ever be happy with my looks and I think it's something that is always going to be an issue in my life

Edit; Just to add, noone that meets me would ever think I was so unhappy as I come across as this super confident person who's always happy! I'm sure I'm not the only one like this!

Don't mean to sound like a weirdo or anything but you are VERY pretty!

Lia_lia

Lia_lia wrote: »

Don't mean to sound like a weirdo or anything but you are VERY pretty!

eh WEIRDO :pac: :pac:

Ah thanks I don't think I'm ugly but I wouldn't say VERY pretty or anything like it! Jesus there are so many beautiful women out there I would say I'm fairly average. I wouldn't go anywhere without make up but I think it's more my body that I'm very unhappy with. I think that I would go under the knife tomorrow if I thought I'd wake up with the perfect bod but I would never touch my face as I'd be scared if it went wrong I'd end up worse off.

Also hate my teeth, have a big gap in between my front two teeth, wish my parents had gotten me braces when I was younger!!

Alicat

Ugh, stupid body image! I know I've put on about a stone in the last 1-2 years and it's very depressing when your favourite pair of jeans just won't fit anymore

Instead of panicking and crash-dieting, I'm trying to just look at what I'm eating and make an effort to choose the healthier option. I plan on getting into some regular exercise but i haven't started yet.

I hit a low the other day though when a customer asked me was I pregnant I was like "WTF, no, but thanks!" People can be so fupping insensitive and stupid sometimes.

pikachucheeks

I think what we can take from this so far is that regardless of your size, how "pretty" people think you are, we all have our insecurities and down days!

I guess it's just important to make the most of what you've got and embrace your body and your whole self as it is!

If someone came to you and asked you for one piece of advice on improving their body confidence, what would you say to them?

Wibbs

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I think what we can take from this so far is that regardless of your size, how "pretty" people think you are, we all have our insecurities and down days!

+1000. Very much so. I know a woman who was never big, naturally eats very healthily, who lived in the gym, very sporty, who actually had the "Perfect Bikini body" that most women would die for and most men would kill for. She still found fault. She actually found more fault than most women I've known. When she was sporting a flat stomach(Actually the flattest I've ever seen on a woman) and had what would be described as a four pack she still thought she was bloated, she still thought her bum, thighs etc were too big. So she went beyond that and the last time I saw her she looked more like a very skinny man. She's still very fit technically speaking, but I'd put money she's still not happy. This wasn't someone with any eating disorder either. But she defo has a body image thing going on. She's convinced she's the same size as she was a year ago and it's obvious to anyone she's not. Very sad.:(

I guess it's just important to make the most of what you've got and embrace your body and your whole self as it is!

+1

If someone came to you and asked you for one piece of advice on improving their body confidence, what would you say to them?

I'd tell them the chances are very high that if you got the bikini body, any confidence would be shortlived and the worries would just get more precise. That the confidence starts inside. That anyone you think is judging you is judging themselves too and that in ten years time you'll look back at how you are now and regret not seeing how beautiful a person you were, you'll regret not enjoying your life and youth and you'll regret worrying so much about the little things.

barbiegirl

I am of course on a Diet WW, who isn't. But honestly whilst I hate my tubby tummy, I'm happy enough with most other areas, and being naked doesn't bother me.
I grew up in a large extended family where the women were generally big, but confident in their dressing and everyone would regularly try on clothes in front of one another, so being and being seen in very little was never an issue. I'm very thankful for that.
I never want to be totally hung up on my body. Yes I want to get fit, yes I want to get back into a healthy weight category, and I will, but do I like me, yep I guess I do.
I think as you get older you get happier with who you are. There has to be some pay back for the wrinkles :-)

hunnymonster

As an Adult I've been every weight from 23 - 75 kgs and I've felt horrendously fat at every weight I've been. The logical woman in me, realises I've got a problem, the other half of me can't see beyond the fat in the mirror. There was a picture of me in the mods forum earlier in the week, I'm sure everyone else saw, another Boards AC jersey - great, all I saw was fat-girl-running :-( I'm getting married soon, and I can't face going dress shopping because I'm convinced I'll look hideous... so yep, I guess I have issues. The bit that gets me, is that I'm so structured in life and have achieved almost everything I've set out to (academically, athletically, socially,...) but for some reason, I can't get a handle on my body.

Fluorescence

I have a really crap body image tbh lol. My thighs and stomach really bother me on some days, but on others I think, "Oh yeah that doesn't look too bad today really." I just hate it though when I start feeling confident about myself and my mother turns around and whispers condescendingly, "You know you really should do something about that weight.... Are you really going to eat ALL of THAT?" :mad: I'm not thin by any means but I'm no heifer either (I'm size 12/14) but my mother's comments about my weight/fitness really drag me down.

On the other hand I quite like my face most of the time. Obviously I have my ugly days (my brother cannot understand the concept of ugly/fat days no matter how hard I try to explain in to him lol), when I look in the mirror and think, "OMG that's hidious!" For the most part though, I'm happy enough with my face (except one eye is bigger than the other... which looks kinda weird close up :P)

lemon_sherbert

I've always had a poor body image, and mainly because I've been very overweight for my whole life. It's been improving recently, and I would go days without thinking that I didn't like myself. I suppose what really bothers me is that I know, even were I to lose the weight, because of loose skin and a rather unfortunate birth-mark on my face, I'm never going to be a looker.

What I am trying to do however, is remind myself that looks aren't important, and that health is. I almost never notice how others look, pretty or not, unless I find them attractive, and that varies widely, yet I spend so much time obsessing about myself, when I could be doing better things.

It's always reasssuring to read threads like this, to see you're not alone, to realise that everyone is insecure about some aspect of themselves, yet it is extremely rare that I actually see someone and notice a fault.

CathyMoran

A relative has had skin problems so I have always known that people can be cruel...my dad was also a fashion designer and I did some modelling when I was younger - I found that world vacuous and unheathily obsessed with weight, they wanted me to be 7 stone which is a BMI of 17.9 for me and I told them where to go...

It did make me paranoid about my weight, not helped that I have diabetes (type 1) that a lot of people wrongly associate with obesity, then I got a cancer that is mainly linked to obesity (oesophageal cancer)...someone must be telling me something - thing is my BMI now is 20-21 and even at my fattest was never above 25. I still have fat days though and hate my ass (though my husband loves it).

I do appreciate my skin, especially with my relative...though now I have scars from live saving surgery...it was horrible when people stared. I dont go for heavy makeup though I dress up like a goth a lot as it makes me feel comfortable - I think that my boobs and legs are good so I tend to showcase them...

I never thought much of my hair until I lost it to chemo, it was a lot harder than I thought and I felt very ashamed to feel so vain about it - it is only hair and it did mean that the chemo was having some effect! I do look after it now - I cried recently when my hair was back to "before" though nothing else in my life is...I am different, I hope a lot nicer...life changes you...my husband gives me the biggest confidence boost.

That is me.

pikachucheeks

I love that people here are being so honest! And since you all have been, I guess I should be too!

I went to boarding school, shared a dorm with a few girls - so from that, I've learned just how paranoid women can be about their body, their weight and their appearance.
One girl used to go to bed with her face covered in sudocream and toothpaste, trying to get rid of teeny little pimples none of the rest of us even noticed! Another used to eat as little as possible during the week, then go home for the weekend and make herself sick, amongst other disfunctional things, and another girl would drink gallons of water to try and trick her body into thinking it was full.

As for me, I was always pretty shy in secondary school - and I remember one day one of the guys calling me "chubby" - although it was just one comment, it caused me a lot of pain.

It made me feel bad about myself, and it caused me to diet. I stopped eaten certain foods - refused to eat bread or carbs, skipped lunch regularly and was constantly paranoid about my appearance.

Looking back on that, I realise just how hard it is, being a young woman growing up in today's society - there's so much out there to make you feel unworthy, not good enough or even worthless.

Since then, I've found it quite hard to be proud of my body - I'm quite a skinny girl, my stomach's relatively flat, I have slim legs - but I have BIG boobs - came out of nowhere when I was 15 or so! Reading this, you might wonder what I'm complaining about ... !

But for me, I hate getting so much attention from guys because of them. I feel like people always notice me for the wrong reasons, or for shallow, superficial reasons and it makes me paranoid about myself.
It's hard to deal with people presuming you're easy, or judging you before they've spoken to you because of your appearance.


Now, I've just decided that the people out there who are like that, can think what they like about me - Because I can only be myself and I've accepted myself for who and what I am.

To anyone out there who's feeling bad about their body, I'd encourage you to look at yourself in a mirror, and realise that you're not perfect, but you are beautiful. Look at yourself in a positive way! If you love something about yourself, play it up! and forget about the flaws you think you have - don't try to change yourself! Something you hate about yourself might be the reason someone falls in love with you!

If anyone has the cheek to make you feel insecure about yourself, realise it's not you, it's them! All you can do is embrace yourself, love yourself for what you are, and do your best to take care of your body and respect it, as it is.

Hermione*

Dragan wrote: »

I have discovered that being happy with how i look has very little to do with how i actually look.

So, with that my plan is to return to training with the goal of simply being healthy and happy and to train for what i consider to be the best reason in the world to do anything, because i love it.

QFT. The former point I think is true for most people; the latter point I would like to be true for all.

g'em wrote: »

Actively making an effort to take care of your body will give you infinitely better confidence levels, knowing that you're giving the one and only body you have the best tlc it could wish for pays many, many, many dividends You'll look younger, your skin will be tauter, your general well-being will improve, you'll sleep better, you'll have more energy and be more focused.

In all honesty I look younger now than I did pre-exercising 5 years ago!!

I think this is the best way to feel happy with your body image.
And G'em, I can not believe you've only been training for five years! :eek: Wowsers!

I'm reasonably happy with my body image, and I would say I probably have been for most of my life. This might be easier for me in that I'm relatively tall and genetically designed to be slender. I don't think I'm by any means perfect-looking - I just like me.

That being said, I am actively trying to lose weight. I went through a period in my life where I was very depressed and unhappy, and as a result, I stopped looking after myself. My normally healthy eating habits slid by the way side, I dropped my yoga practice, I even thought my thirty minute walk home from work too much. I didn't notice this happening and paid no attention to it. I was too unhappy to care, frankly. Life went on like this for about a year, 18 months, until one day I realised that I had never been heavier in my life as I was then. This did not really help my depression, unsurprisingly. For a few months after that, I began paying attention to the weighing scales again (a new phenomenon for me) but I changed nothing in my lifestyle so the numbers continued to increase. I felt huge even though I knew I wasn't really. I was a size 12, sometimes a 14, and I'm 5' 8", so that wouldn't be overweight. It felt overweight though. Shortly before Christmas, I began doing Pilates. Then at Christmas, I decided that if I'd dealt with the thing which were making me emotionally unhappy, the next step was to deal with what was making me physically unhappy. I adopted my healthy eating habits of old, kept up the Pilates, started walking and made more time for me. I took up running some time later. Even though I haven't yet lost all the weight I'd like to, I feel happy with myself again because I know I'm looking after myself.

Once I'm healthy and happy and looking after myself, weight and numbers are immaterial to me. What other people think of me is also immaterial to me. I know I'm not naturally a curvy girl (I have no boobs or hips really, to speak of). It doesn't bother me. I like me, and that's what counts.

silvervixen84

I've always felt a bit insecure about my looks, my face mainly. i have a lazy eye, a nose that veers to one side, and teeth that aren't straight, but i'm dealing with it alot better now than i did when i was a teenager. I know that if i make an effort i can look decent. It still gets me down sometimes however when i go to clubs and see girls with perfect figures and pretty faces, but that's for me to deal with and when i'm not faced with those situations i'm ok.

I think that body image is a demon that most people (women AND men) face at some point, and it's very easy to say "everyone's beautiful in their own way" but it's up to the individual to realise their strong points (inner and outer) and build on these.

Curse beauty magazines, i mainly avoid them now!

Novella

Wow :O
I guess no one is completely happy with how they look then! Thing is, we probably all worry about what other people think of us but no one actually notices because they are too busy worrying about what we think of them! Does that even make sense?!!

I am a size 8 - 10 but I'm never happy with my body. I put on weight really easily so if I eat a few takeaways in a week or whatever it will be noticable I tend to have weeks where I eat terribly, loads of junk etc and then a few weeks where I try to eat as little as possible, maybe just an apple a day or something. I definitely have a really negative attitude towards food but hopefully, as I get older I'll get more comfortable in my own skin!