I want to be bullied

LegacyUser

I male
Up until I was 18 I was regularly bullied, I find it hard to admit that I was and that I was hurt by it.
Now I am older not by much but I have more sense now and I have worked hard on making myself a very confident and strong person.
The problem is I have no way of proving it, I desperatly want someone to try and bully me so I can lay down the law like I should have back when I was younger.
I have tought about being different to lure people into bullying me but this is just silly. I need this terribly, I need to prove that I am what I think I am.
I have worked hard to strip away any fantasies I had about myself, like believing I was strong etc I saw myself for what I was and became stronger by seeing the truth.
Now I just want to prove to myself that all my hard work has paid off, I am no longer living a lie in my head.
I need a situation where I can prove to myself my new found strength of character.
I'm not a complete warmonger, I want to get along with people above all else and will give them the benefit of the doubt, but I need an attack, I really need the challenge.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Get a job in a call center.

cowzerp

Keep away from hassle and hold your head high, asking for trouble makes you the arse.

also what happens if you get your ass kicked? you'll be back to square 1..

just be happy that you've more confidence and remember this is what keeps bullys away.

oh, your not a kid anymore-so bullying will play less a part in your life anyway..

Slow Motion

Unregistered wrote: »

I male
Up until I was 18 I was regularly bullied, I find it hard to admit that I was and that I was hurt by it.
Now I am older not by much but I have more sense now and I have worked hard on making myself a very confident and strong person.
The problem is I have no way of proving it, I desperatly want someone to try and bully me so I can lay down the law like I should have back when I was younger.
I have tought about being different to lure people into bullying me but this is just silly. I need this terribly, I need to prove that I am what I think I am.
I have worked hard to strip away any fantasies I had about myself, like believing I was strong etc I saw myself for what I was and became stronger by seeing the truth.
Now I just want to prove to myself that all my hard work has paid off, I am no longer living a lie in my head.
I need a situation where I can prove to myself my new found strength of character.
I'm not a complete warmonger, I want to get along with people above all else and will give them the benefit of the doubt, but I need an attack, I really need the challenge.

No you don't! That is a very dangerous road to go down and you may end up being a bully because of it! How would that sit with you? Let it go and move on!

LegacyUser

I'm not talking about looking for fights on the street, I mean in work situations etc
If I do get my ass kicked, I wont give a damn. They'll be lucky if they get that far.

Nervous Wreck

Ironically OP, you don't really seem to have any sort of new 'strength of character'. The strongest thing you can do for yourself is let it go. To me, it sounds like you were a wimpy kid who had enough and went to the gym to buff up. Now that you're more capable of taking care of yourself, you want to unleash your anger and pain on the world to prove that you came out 'better' for it. Inviting a fight is the same as starting one. Don't let yourself become the bully. You've obviously found a physical confidence in yourself. Now work on the inside. Let the anger go and live for yourself. Forget proving your silly macho point.

Wibbs

If you were truly over the bullying and the effect it had on you, you would not be seeking to prove yourself in this way. A secure individual would realise that was the past and they're a diferent person now. A person that only needs to prove themselves to themselves. This is not the way to prove that. You need to find and fix these unresolved self esteem issues another way. I can guarantee if someone does try and bully you and you over react and take them on, you'll be back to square one, only on the other side of the fence. I would suggest counseling if I were you.

coadyj

Unregistered wrote: »

I male
Up until I was 18 I was regularly bullied, I find it hard to admit that I was and that I was hurt by it.
Now I am older not by much but I have more sense now and I have worked hard on making myself a very confident and strong person.
The problem is I have no way of proving it, I desperatly want someone to try and bully me so I can lay down the law like I should have back when I was younger.
I have tought about being different to lure people into bullying me but this is just silly. I need this terribly, I need to prove that I am what I think I am.
I have worked hard to strip away any fantasies I had about myself, like believing I was strong etc I saw myself for what I was and became stronger by seeing the truth.
Now I just want to prove to myself that all my hard work has paid off, I am no longer living a lie in my head.
I need a situation where I can prove to myself my new found strength of character.
I'm not a complete warmonger, I want to get along with people above all else and will give them the benefit of the doubt, but I need an attack, I really need the challenge.

How about this for an attack, you're a stupid moron. This is how people who were bullied end up becoming bullies. Your hard work and character reformation is bs as you sound to me like the puny little dweeb you were back when you were being bullied, why don't you take that energy and put it into something good, like I don't know an education, or even learning how to use spellcheck mr desperatly tought

Slow Motion

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not talking about looking for fights on the street, I mean in work situations etc
If I do get my ass kicked, I wont give a damn. They'll be lucky if they get that far.

So you're going to go into work and provoke a situation? Sounds like a bully to me, well done on going from one side to the other :rolleyes:

Wibbs

coadyj less of the personal attacks or you will be banned from this forum.

TheInquisitor

I'll meet you in the back yard after school....I guarantee you when you get in a fight you won't want it. I think subconsciously you don't want a fight because their not that difficuly to start... Build a bridge....

tony1kenobi

Take up boxing. You sound like you've wound yourself up to the last and you are going to end up giving someone a slap that doesn't deserve it.

You need a release to get that aggression out of you.

Either that or get a job as a doorman in a nighclub. Your current temperement sounds spot on for that line of work.

coadyj

Wibbs wrote: »

coadyj less of the personal attacks or you will be banned from this forum.

sorry, but he did say he wanted it :P

LegacyUser

What areyou thinking? The people you are provoking are the the people who bullied you in the first place - why are you trying to take it out on them/bully them??? You will never fix what happened to you. It happened you are stronger now - move on.

You will not feel better once you do. You will just prove you can bully other people. Do you want to put them in the situation you were in when you were being bullied?

It's good you feel you can stand up for yourself now. Use that when you need to (and only when you need to). Leave the innocent people who had nothing to do with any of this in the first place alone

genericguy

Unregistered wrote: »

I male
Up until I was 18 I was regularly bullied, I find it hard to admit that I was and that I was hurt by it.
Now I am older not by much but I have more sense now and I have worked hard on making myself a very confident and strong person.
The problem is I have no way of proving it, I desperatly want someone to try and bully me so I can lay down the law like I should have back when I was younger.
I have tought about being different to lure people into bullying me but this is just silly. I need this terribly, I need to prove that I am what I think I am.
I have worked hard to strip away any fantasies I had about myself, like believing I was strong etc I saw myself for what I was and became stronger by seeing the truth.
Now I just want to prove to myself that all my hard work has paid off, I am no longer living a lie in my head.
I need a situation where I can prove to myself my new found strength of character.
I'm not a complete warmonger, I want to get along with people above all else and will give them the benefit of the doubt, but I need an attack, I really need the challenge.

Sorry Mr. Mitty, but that ain't no good idea.

LegacyUser

Right I may have given the impression its a physical fight Im after, its not. I mean kind of a locking of horns type of thing.
As for being a bully now, NO im not.
Reading back on my post I sound like a prick, as I always do on these things.
All I'm looking for is validation of my new character, I dont want to jump down the throat of the first person who laughs at me. I know how it feels to be bullied and I'm not going to do that either.
I just feel regretful that I was'nt a strong enough person to stop it back then, I am now and just need to prove that to myself. I wanted to know if this was weird and the impression is it is,,, very.
I only want to be bullied again so I can see how I react as a new person.
I have come across as a complete ass.
As for being a wimpy kid, yes I was and still am wimpy. This used to bother me but it doesnt anymore. This is why I was bullied in the first place.
I dont know, after reading yer post I ve just realised that the sign of my change is that I'm not being bullied in the first place. I must be holding myself different or something.
I never said I lured people into bullying me, just that I thought about it and it was silly.

LegacyUser

coadyj wrote: »

sorry, but he did say he wanted it :P

Yeah, I actually thought it was funny!!
But you made a good point based on my posts, and thats exactly what I come across as.

Rics

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Get a job in a call center.

This is true. I am posting from one right now and the stick you get can be brutal. Only thing is that you can't give any back, unless you want to lose your job you still have to conduct yourself in a reasonably professional manner.
Pretty insance thread title, I thought you were a masochist or something!

Kinetic^

Lame. You want to trap somebody and make them feel like crap so you can feel better?

Grow up and stop living in the past.

RossFixxxed

It's hard to say anything without it being an attack. I have to say OP your post is the very definition of idiotic. You want to get bullied so you can THEN BULLY THAT PERSON, showing that you are over the bullying. So over the bullying you need to bully other people because YOU ARE OVER IT. YOU ARE SO OVER BULLYING that you need all this? Get my point. This is how the cycle goes, this is how the bullies start.

Get some councelling, and if not at least cop on and let bygones be bygone, otherwise we'll have a post from some poor young one here about this psycho looking for fights in the office all the time.

You're 18 man, time to put on the big boy pants.

seamus

Did you ever stop to consider that the reason nobody's attempted to bully you is *because* you have the confidence to deal with it? Bulllies by definition operate on weaker targets. You're no longer a weaker target, therefore you don't get bullied. Job done. Pat yourself on the back and hold your head high.

The opposite of "being bullied" isn't "fighting bullies", it's "not being bullied". You've succeeded, let it drop.

LegacyUser

I have come across as an asshole, Im not one. Anyone who has described me as such in this thread was perfectly correct given my posts. I hope I can rectify that
I was only asking if its a normal way to feel and its clearly not.
As for being a wimpy kid, I was and still am wimpy. But I've learned to be cool with that thats who I am. Thats why I was bullied in the first place.
I'm not going to jump down the throat of the first person who laughs at me, or be a prick.
I know how it feels to be bullied and if i put someone through that I will have lost all touch with my humanity.
I'm not looking for a physical fight. but a locking of horns type of thing, but having read this thread it is apparent to me that I am not being bullied anymore and that is the sign that I have changed.
Thank you all very much.
And who got the infraction for attacking me personally? Honestly when I read that posts I tought it was very funny and you were correct in your assesment with the way I had written previous posts.
Thanks again

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

claiva

hello op,
if you are serious about what you are saying, why don't you ask one of your friends brothers or something - someone you do not know - to do a little role play with you. This person could verbally abuse you and try to put you down. I know its not a real situation but it would enable you to utilise the tools you believe you now have at your disposal.
Maybe agree a "safe word" to come out of the role playing if it gets too much etc.
It could be done in private with this person to avoid humiliation in front of your mate.

LegacyUser

Take up an improv class, work a sales job, take up MMA. But please don't go looking for fights (verbal or physical) cos it makes you just as bad as the bullies who did it to you.

If you got in a verbal fight with someone simply cos you know you could outdo them, you'd simply make them feel as small as you did back in the day. You may think you want that but you don't. It may feel good to you at the time but when you realise that this random person is feeling depressed about the situation, you'll realise that you've just become your tormentor.

And we both know that when you were being bullied, you weren't jealous of the bully. You just wished they'd stop.

Take up an MMA class or an improv class, it'll help you get out your stresses and will be a great way to meet new people.

But definitely, try to let go of the past

LegacyUser

I can relate completely to what the OP has said even though it might have came across badly. I myself was bullied when i was younger and it took a while to re-gain my confidence. Once i did however, i had this immense sense of frustration and anger with myself that i took such crap when i was younger and it really annoyed me. i promised myself that i would never take any crap off anyone again.

I think for a while, i may have subconsciously got into situations like fights/arguments with people just to prove to myself my own strength and to let off a lot of pent-up anger (btw, i never started fights but i certainly didn't back down or avoid them.) This went on for a while and then i realised that it was not healthy for me....that all this anger was never going to solve anything....that basically i needed to let-go of the past. it's more difficult then people think it is to let go of such deeply emotional memories but i think i'm getting there. it's a gradual thing.

i'm not sure if i'll ever fully let-go but i think you should try to channel this energy into something productive....maybe get into a sport and get rid of all the tension your feeling. You have no need to worry about finding situations to test your strength because they will inevitably come along during your life....prob when u least expect it.

Good luck anyway!

LegacyUser

OP i was the same as you one time. You have to work on confidence and assertiveness so that it comes natural to you. What you are trying to do is different you are trying to go into a situation where you know you will get angry and you will be prepeared for it. But this wont make you confident in other situations. You have to be direct and firm not loud and angry

smileykey

Take the fact that you are no longer getting bullied as a sign that you are strong. Bullies only pick on the weak. Getting bullied to prove your strong would entail either acting or becoming weak first.

zxcvbnm1

Unregistered wrote: »

If I do get my ass kicked, I wont give a damn. They'll be lucky if they get that far.

Yiou sound like an idiot IMO for what it's worth.

wolfric

I know you're getting a lot of mixed feedback but let me give my 2 cents. You're not an idiot or a bully.
Have a watch of the film "never back down"
Its quite interesting and you shouldn't go looking for a fight... i disagree with that. It just starts up **** because they're not the ones bullying and being put in their place now but being provoked. What you CAN do is this:

I found with confidence i was able to talk to people a lot more. Slag them a bit friendly style and make a lot more friends. You should consider making that your goal. As for people messing with you, i can't deny it.. people do try mess with me every so often and showing exactly how much you've come out of your shel really does feel good.

• Make friends
• Make friends with your bullies and if they give you heat instead you know what to do
• Join a dojo and learn how to fight. Putting your enegy into fighting in the ring or learning moves. You'll build confidence and learn your own body without having to damage anyone elses.

Realise that sometimes people act like dicks to be friendly. I think its an irish thing and sometimes they can be just trying to be friendly... Of course if you take it the wrong way they become fustrated and think YOU'RE the one being the dick and take it out on you. In that case it becomes progressivly more like bullying.

Zaph

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

Yiou sound like an idiot IMO for what it's worth.

1 week ban for personal abuse