Parents leaving proceeds of house sale to kids in their will

gazzer

My granny has decided to do up a will and has asked my dad (her son) to be executor. Anyway there is about 12 in the family and the amount of grief my dad is getting over the issue of what happens to the house when my granny dies is unbelieveable. They all want to make sure that they are getting their fare share of the house sale proceeds. Some of them feel that they should get more than others because they say they do more for my granny etc etc.

Anyway i was talking to my parents about it and we got talking about what happens to their house when they pass on. I told them that they should find a way of selling the house before they die and having a nest egg to life out their days in comfort and go travelling. I dont want them to leave the house to me or my brothers. My parents paid for the house, they should be allowed to enjoy the benefits of it.

I spoke to a few friends about it as well and to my amazement a lot of them 'expect' money when their parents die. They have factored in what they could get from their parents house sale into paying off their mortgage and things like that. I think that is so wrong. Why should you expect that your parents will leave you money. When you become an adult you should be standing on your own two feet and not be relying on what you 'feel' you are entitled to.

Wha do others think?

My name is URL

Nobody should feel entitled to a fcuking thing when it comes to inheritance. Make your own life is the way I see it.

Birdie086

My stepfather died last year and my mother tried to pomise us some money out of his life insurance when it paid out. I told her stop being ridiculus the money was for her. Also think she should find a way of sellling up the house when the times comes and enjoy the money!!!!
She reared me, fed me, dressed me for a long time. My self and my bro worked in the family business for years but when it closed up that was that. We just moved on to other things.

Abi

Your father has to see beyond their greed. Tell him if they want to take issue with it, to see your grandmother. If they decide to do that, well I can see her making another trip to the solicitor. Isnt it funny how the mere mention of a will exposes families true colours? It disgusts me.

I have told my parents to do the exact same thing, sell up and see the world. Go live in the sun, and let us make our own way. My siblings feel the same way.

Dartz

Sounds like the common sort of thing. Shoving the old burdens off the mortal coil to snarfle whatever cash they've gathered together.

It's horrible when you think about it, so I don't.

Especially since I'm likely to get saddled with 20 years of a mortgage on top of the bloody house....

Degsy

A friend of mine once told me that he was a millionaire.
I asked hi m how he figured that and he said the value of his parents property and the small family business when divided up would bring him a cool million.
So,in his mind he'd not only buried both his parents but he'd sold the family house and the business too.
I hope to **** they leave him nothing in the end,or better yet,out live him.

Jet Black

Feel the same op. Its there money they put into the house so why should anyone else expect anything? Greed and ignorance tbh

Sleipnir

It amazes me how much these things tear families apart, including my own. The whole family on my mother's side are in the "I'm not speaking to such-and-such"

When my gran on that side died she basically used her will as a weapon, punishing those that displeased her over the years and leaving the house to just one of her children. That person tried to keep it for themselves, it went to court etc and now nobody speaks to her except me. I know she did wrong but life is too short for all this nonsense.
If she leaves me anything at all when she goes, it's all going back to the other siblings, every penny of it.

She came to us for Christmas because, well, she had nowhere else to go and I wouldn't see any member of my extended family on their own for Christmas. I knew it would cause trouble but it was the right thing to do.

Now, I hear that some of the next generation have decided that their not speaking to the kids of the parents who are not speaking to each other! So that old witches poison continues to permeate throughout the whole family. Ridiculous!
I emailed my cousin in Australia to say hello but didn't get a response. Didn't think anything of it really; maybe she didn't use that address anymore until 4 months later I found out that she's not speaking to me because I had my aunt over for Christmas! I mean really, there's no point in not speaking to someone if that person doesn't know!

My own folks house is (or was anyway) worth a good bit and when my dad retired I was telling them to sell, buy something smaller and use the proceeds to travel the world and basically spend, spend, spend. One of my brothers got quite upset that I was trying to convince my parent to spend his inheritance. "Excuse me, it ain't yours yet buddy!"

The only thing to do with the inheritance is split it evenly, 12 ways in your case. Deciding how to split it depending on who took her for Sunday dinner for a whole year in 1983 is just plain stupid.

ejmaztec

Sounds like the usual case of not helping the Granny because they want to help her, but because they want to be paid for it.

All of the moaners should be excluded. They can all then try their luck putting the squeeze on some other old lady.

twanda

I don't expect anything from my parents. I don't even like to think about them not being here anymore. I think the property bubble in Ireland has made a lot of people turn very greedy when it comes to wills.

We had an old woman live next door to us for years. She lived on her own and didn't even have any running water. She used to come in to us to fill her water buckets every day. She was a very lonely woman. She had grown kids but they never came to visit her. When she died the amount of family members who crawled out of the woodwork was ridiculous. They turned up at her house, tore the place apart - stripped it of anything valuable and then sold it off. Greedy feckers.

PeakOutput

people expect it because thats what happens the majority of the time

i expect that i will be left money and assets when my parents die i dont feel entitled to it. they can spend as much of their money and assets as they want before they die and i hope they enjoy it but i expect me and my bro and sis will get whatever is left that is not particularly greedy i dont think.

i have seen and heard from both family and friends how the whole inheritance thing can tear families apart though i know families who havnt talked in years over a stupid run down house on a bit of land. money can make otherwise perfectly reasonable people become unrecognisable

tinkerbell

I wouldn't expect anything from my parents either, I don't even want to think of not being here anymore. I'm always telling my parents to enjoy themselves, go on nice holidays as they've worked hard. I'm working hard myself now so that I can have a secure future and won't have to be worrying about handouts. I mean probably most of our parents built up from nothing, I don't see why this generation feels that they have a right to get handed a big sum of money just because they think they are entitled to it.

Mollywolly

Inheritances can cause all sorts of trouble. My OH was an only child and got his mother's entire estate when she died. Of course, there were plenty of cousins who felt it was their "right" to get something as a memento. That was fair enough and he did his best to accommodate everyone, but when it came to one of them removing a wall clock and leaving a gaping hole in the wall when the house was being sold - without even telling him - well that just said it all :eek:

We don't have any children and I've had problems with my own brothers and sisters over the years (one of them has decided they're not speaking to me but I don't know why!) so I'm not too keen on leaving anything to them. I have a feeling that there are a few charities who are going to make a fortune out of me when I go

mikemac

Mollywolly wrote: »

I have a feeling that there are a few charities who are going to make a fortune out of me when I go

More likely there will be a few lawyers getting rich, your family will hire them

Degsy

Sombody i know from co Clare was telling me that a lot of the so called random break-ins in isolated areas that result in 90 year olds getting beaten half to death are in fact attempts by greedy families to get relatives to sell up.

Mollywolly

mikemac wrote: »

More likely there will be a few lawyers getting rich, your family will hire them

I should have mentioned that they're all at least ten years older than me so I suppose, in the natural run of things, they won't even be around when I go. They have children, some of whom I've not seen for years, and I might leave a few bob to them, but the bulk will go to charity.

Anyways, if they do try to fight it, I'm damn well going to find a way to come back and give them a good haunting

kelle

I sadly lost both my parents very near to each other. Some of us were given sites when they were alive, which was very handy when they became ill and needed looking after as we were only a stones throw away.


The land has been divided enenly between 4 of us, and the house was left to the brother who didn't get a site.


Looking back at previous posts, it's fantastic we are so amicable in this whole thing.
It would have been a lot more preferable had our parents lived and enjoyed their money, but God had other ideas.


Though we won't benefit financially - we're anxiously awaiting the solicitor's bill!
And OP, if all this fighting continues it looks like your grandmother's solicitor will be the main beneficiary too!

gino85

parents told me i get to be the executor of thier will, and when they do die in the far off distant future the money will be split 4 ways and my sisters know not to piss me off because i'll put thier share into a charity in a heartbeat, they said they would leave me the house aswell but i havnt made up my mind on that yet, i might just keep that and split the money between my 3 sisters

Danbo!

Wasnt there full page ad in the RTE guide a couple of years ago, or on a billboard in dublin, with a picture of an elderly woman and the text said something like "You can all stop fighting over my money, I've used it to buy this ad, I hope you are all proud of yourselves." Pretty impressive, I'd say the family were very embarassed.

stovelid

If I ever had half an inkling that my kid was waiting for me to die for an inheritance, I'd leave everything to a charity.

gino85 wrote: »

parents told me i get to be the executor of thier will, and when they do die in the far off distant future the money will be split 4 ways and my sisters know not to piss me off because i'll put thier share into a charity in a heartbeat, they said they would leave me the house aswell but i havnt made up my mind on that yet, i might just keep that and split the money between my 3 sisters

Do you sit around a lot thinking of these scenarios involving your dead parent's possessions?

Caoimhín

The only thing i have inherited is a dodgy back and a streak of madness.:o

Abi

gino85 wrote: »

parents told me i get to be the executor of thier will, and when they do die in the far off distant future the money will be split 4 ways and my sisters know not to piss me off because i'll put thier share into a charity in a heartbeat, they said they would leave me the house aswell but i havnt made up my mind on that yet, i might just keep that and split the money between my 3 sisters

I wish your parents could see your post.

You will also find that you are the executrix of the will. You are unable to make changes to the will yourself. An executor, or executrix is a representative of the deceased, nominated to carry out the directions of the will as stipulated by the deceased.

pljudge321

I'd leave everything in some sort of trust fund for the grandchildren, only to be used for college fees, emergency medical bills, maybe a bit towards a wedding etc. At least they'd be forced to remember me and maybe be a little grateful.

robinph

gino85 wrote: »

parents told me i get to be the executor of thier will, and when they do die in the far off distant future the money will be split 4 ways and my sisters know not to piss me off because i'll put thier share into a charity in a heartbeat, they said they would leave me the house aswell but i havnt made up my mind on that yet, i might just keep that and split the money between my 3 sisters

You don't get to make decisions like that by being executor though. You just have to make sure that things like all debts, bill, taxes etc are paid off and then follow the instructions in the will to divvy up whatever remains. It does not give you any extra power over what happens to the inheritance, just means that you have been deemed responsible enough by the person concerned to have an extra task to do after they snuff it.

Abi

stovelid wrote: »

If I ever had half an inkling that my kid was waiting for me to die for an inheritance, I'd leave everything to a charity.

Charity my hole! I'd send the greedy fuckers postcards from every corner of the globe, a few pics of momma knocking back the Moet and snorting coke off a well-hung high-class male escorts árse.



Thinking of you etc.

xx

Dave!

I actually started a thread about this exact same thing a couple of years ago!
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055102084

I think it's a great idea, and they should do whatever they want with their house without feeling compelled to give the kids anything -- they've given enough. If someone's in financial difficulty, perhaps.

tbh though I don't think my folks would do it... My mam is really into the idea of the 'family home', so as my siblings and I used to go to my nana's house for Christmas, etc., she'll want the grandkids to come to her house. And it won't be the same if they're coming to a new house with no history and no memories in it.

We shall see

Gran Hermano

Where there's a will there's a relative...

Jet Black

If there my relatives were planning my death and were being greedy like the op's, i would have whatever i had sold on my death and a plot in the graveyard bought for each of them. And a little note to all of them saying seem's and you planned so well for my death i've decided to look after all of you in death. Hope to see you soon.

That would shut them up.

amdublin

gino85 wrote: »

parents told me i get to be the executor of thier will, and when they do die in the far off distant future the money will be split 4 ways and my sisters know not to piss me off because i'll put thier share into a charity in a heartbeat, they said they would leave me the house aswell but i havnt made up my mind on that yet, i might just keep that and split the money between my 3 sisters

As far as I am aware the execeutor of the will has to carry out the instructions of the will.
If your parents have said the money is to be split it 4 ways, it is your responsibility to see that is done. You cannot give your sisters' shares away.

What age are you btw? In my opinion your parents should reconsider their decision.

Overheal

My Parents have already been quite good to me in life so I don't figure a need to look forward to their deaths.

I love the idea OP. Kinda gross that your siblings dont want to keep it as a family home.

CCCP^

gazzer wrote: »

My granny has decided to do up a will and has asked my dad (her son) to be executor. Anyway there is about 12 in the family and the amount of grief my dad is getting over the issue of what happens to the house when my granny dies is unbelieveable. They all want to make sure that they are getting their fare share of the house sale proceeds. Some of them feel that they should get more than others because they say they do more for my granny etc etc.

Anyway i was talking to my parents about it and we got talking about what happens to their house when they pass on. I told them that they should find a way of selling the house before they die and having a nest egg to life out their days in comfort and go travelling. I dont want them to leave the house to me or my brothers. My parents paid for the house, they should be allowed to enjoy the benefits of it.

I spoke to a few friends about it as well and to my amazement a lot of them 'expect' money when their parents die. They have factored in what they could get from their parents house sale into paying off their mortgage and things like that. I think that is so wrong. Why should you expect that your parents will leave you money. When you become an adult you should be standing on your own two feet and not be relying on what you 'feel' you are entitled to.

Wha do others think?

My Mother passed away in 2006, leaving our family home empty. As there is 7 of us in the family, the general consensus was to sell it, because 7 people can't share a house apparently and some of us didn't get on well with our Mother and didn't want the house. As there was no will, this was the only course of action to take. However one member of our family argued that she had previously said he was to get the house and then moved into it, wrecked the house and prevented it being sold for 2 years. The rest of us had to take legal action to get him out, but by the time he was out, it was 2008 and the property market had crashed.

Now our family home, the house I grew up in, is empty and getting damp, and probably won't be sold until atleast 2012. What pisses me off most is the house is empty. Somebody should live in it. If my asshole of a brother actually took care of it I'd let him in it. I think your parents should do whatever they like with that house. They paid for it. Your all grown up now, you have your own lives. Your parents worked hard to put a roof over your head and now in their golden years they should be able to kickback and have some fun.

I think it's a bit materialistic for people to be thinking of their parents death as a financial windfall. It's shameful. Looking back now, I would rather my Mother had enjoyed herself in her final years, gone abroad more, had some decent holidays, then me just getting a pile of money which I know I don't deserve.

drunkdaz

I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting something when your parents pass away.

You need to remember there has been a huge transfer of wealth in the past decade from the young to the old. Today young people have to get 35 year mortgages to put a roof over their heads, 20 used to be the norm. And two people have to work to service theses loans which invariably benefit the older generations who either have seen the value of their own homes rocket or profited by been involved in property in some way.
As well as this our parents will most likely be the last generation to enjoy a state pension. Young people have to pay taxes to pay for current pensions, generally working longer hours, while trying to contribute to their own private pensions. Modern life is just more stressful.

This isn't the same as waiting for a windfall on your parents demise. The parents should of course enjoy their old age, and what they worked hard for. But its just its pragmatic to expect to have a little left over for the kids.
Anyway is it not right to want your kids to have a better life then you? I know if I am successful I'll make sure I'll be very generous to my kids.

KeyLimePie

That's nasty and morbid, i'd never expect anything from my parents and they can give it all to charity if they wan't

My granmother died more than ten years ago and just a month or so ago the family were still arguing about a savings account she had, which had like 3000 pound

phasers

Sure all my parents have to leave me is debt :pac:


I hate thinking about stuff like that!How could people be waiting for their parents to die like that? Vultures.

AckwelFoley

i love my father hes a great guy.

But since the recession has taken a grip on me, ive sat down with him and politely asked him to hurry up and die so we can get our hands on the €8,000,000 worth of assests he has and split it 3 ways.

Ive left him to think about it.

Suprisingly he hasnt got back to me yet on my proposal.

S.I.R

take the money when she dies ( r.i.p ) gather the family then burn it on the spot...


to immortalize the point that family is more important then money if you can be rational about it you dont deserve it...


i done Everything i could for my granny and didn't take a cent of the proceeds no when she passed... nor should i of... it was and still is her money, not mine...

Davidius

All I want is the time machine that I know my Dad's been hiding.

Ruu_Old

My father fell out with his brother over an inheritance (and they still don't speak now), must be an Irish thing to fight over wills. All I would ever want from an inheritance would be a small momento or something that meant a lot to me. My grandad is 92 this year and I would hope when he moves on that I could have his WW2 photos or things he collected over the years. As for people fighting over land and money, cop the fuck on, I hope ye get nothing.

AckwelFoley

Ruu wrote: »

My father fell out with his brother over an inheritance (and they still don't speak now), must be an Irish thing to fight over wills. All I would ever want from an inheritance would be a small momento or something that meant a lot to me. My grandad is 92 this year and I would hope when he moves on that I could have his WW2 photos or things he collected over the years. As for people fighting over land and money, cop the fuck on, I hope ye get nothing.

I know a girl who lost her father when she was a child.

Her uncle shot her father over a "field"

In Ireland there is something about Land that drives some people to do very bitter and bad things.

Sleipnir

drunkdaz wrote: »

I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting something when your parents pass away.

You need to remember there has been a huge transfer of wealth in the past decade from the young to the old. Today young people have to get 35 year mortgages to put a roof over their heads, 20 used to be the norm. And two people have to work to service theses loans which invariably benefit the older generations who either have seen the value of their own homes rocket or profited by been involved in property in some way.
As well as this our parents will most likely be the last generation to enjoy a state pension. Young people have to pay taxes to pay for current pensions, generally working longer hours, while trying to contribute to their own private pensions. Modern life is just more stressful.

but when they were young, they had 18% mortgages which they had to beg for and that was only if they were one of the ones lucky enough to have a job!
Modern life is not any more stressful, it's just stressful in different ways.

Orla K

My granny has made out a will saying how much everyone should be getting. My uncle is getting the least amount because when my gran had to go in for a triple by-pass my father and aunts decided to go private with it and paid for the op but my uncle didn't(I'm sure he had his reasons). She made out the will to pay them back the money that they spent.
The only thing I'll probably get when she dies is a mass card.

My father also wants to give us the deposit for our own houses or a share in his house. So far none of us want to buy a house, none of us are in a place where we can buy houses.

jos28

I genuinely do not expect anything from my Mam when she dies yet I know it is very important to her that she leaves us all something. I don't know why she feels it is so important.We are all sorted financially, we all have houses and jobs and are doing ok. My parents spent all their lives working and making sacrifices for us and I truly appreciate everything they did for us, materially and otherwise. After we all left home, my Mam and Dad enjoyed a few years of nice holidays, getting stuff done to the house, bought a new car...all the things they could not afford to do when they were rearing us. It was great to see them have that enjoyment but it did not last long enough. Dad died 4 years ago and my Mam has Parkinsons and is no longer mobile. I would give up any inheritance just to see the two of them happy, healthy and splashing their cash on themselves.

ayapatrick

here. shur if you were fit to do it, buy them out, let them live in the house and let them spend the money?

stovelid

Hagar wrote: »

To quote the song "when Papa died all he left us was alone".
.

Until now, I'd always thought he was singing when Papa died all he left us was a loan.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

IvyTheTerrible

Ruu wrote: »

My father fell out with his brother over an inheritance (and they still don't speak now), must be an Irish thing to fight over wills.

Nope. My boyfriend is French and his father's family are already fighting over their parents property, and they are still alive. My boyfs grandfather already set up a company so that every year each of the children gets an equal amount, he did it because he thought that would make things above board and easier to sort out when he dies, but no, half of them aren't speaking to the others, and two of them aren't even speaking to the grandparents It's a disgrace to see the way they are behaving. The grandparents should be enjoying their final years but they are just upset over children not speaking to them.

I have to admit I find this whole thing rather boggling - the last thing I think of when I think about my grandparents and my parents is "what'll I get when they finally keel over?"
It's so selfish and insane. How will the kids feel when they're in their winter years and they're only regarded as a potential income source instead of loving family? Can you imagine actually looking at your (healthy and happy) relatives and hoping for them to DIE and not being able to think of anything else? That's messed up


Whatever I get by land/money/etc I will earn myself, that's that.
Frankly if I had to deal with such a bunch of spoilt selfish brats, I'd donate the bulk of my assets anonymously to charity. Serve them right.

IvyTheTerrible

bluewolf wrote: »

I have to admit I find this whole thing rather boggling - the last thing I think of when I think about my grandparents and my parents is "what'll I get when they finally keel over?"
It's so selfish and insane. How will the kids feel when they're in their winter years and they're only regarded as a potential income source instead of loving family? Can you imagine actually looking at your (healthy and happy) relatives and hoping for them to DIE and not being able to think of anything else? That's messed up


Whatever I get by land/money/etc I will earn myself, that's that.

+1

I want my parents to spend all their money on themselves, they've done enough for me and my siblings already,we won't need their money when they're gone.

My wife's family fell out over land, so did my mothers, tis an Irish thing allright.

My parants have already told us that they are SKIing!* so not expecting anything.



SKI: spend the kids inheritance

magenta73

Degsy wrote: »

Sombody i know from co Clare was telling me that a lot of the so called random break-ins in isolated areas that result in 90 year olds getting beaten half to death are in fact attempts by greedy families to get relatives to sell up.

OH MY GOD--- that has made me feel sick!!!!!!!


my parents are in there 70's and have their own house, and there are 4 siblings, me and 3 brothers. I have a really hugh back garden 135 feet, and it's very private. I have built a "shed" I have water, plumbing, heating and electricy down there. I would love (and I've said it too them) if they sold the house and moved into the "shed". It's not tiny it's 17ft x 20ft so it's cosy. But it would mean that not only would it free up some money for them, hols ect, but as they are in their 70's I would feel more secure knowing that their near me for just-in-case's. 2 brothers are fine about it but it's the brother that has lived in America for the past 26 years that seems to have the problem with it!

any sugestions as to why!!!

drunkdaz

drunkdaz wrote: »

You need to remember there has been a huge transfer of wealth in the past decade from the young to the old. Today young people have to get 35 year mortgages to put a roof over their heads, 20 used to be the norm. And two people have to work to service theses loans which invariably benefit the older generations who either have seen the value of their own homes rocket or profited by been involved in property in some way.
As well as this our parents will most likely be the last generation to enjoy a state pension. Young people have to pay taxes to pay for current pensions, generally working longer hours, while trying to contribute to their own private pensions. Modern life is just more stressful.

Sleipnir wrote: »

but when they were young, they had 18% mortgages which they had to beg for and that was only if they were one of the ones lucky enough to have a job!
Modern life is not any more stressful, it's just stressful in different ways.

Ignoring the accidential wealth created by houses increasing in value above the rate of inflation, most people approaching retirement will have had a period of about 20 years or so to build up savings for a comfortable retirement. Kids moved out mortgage paid.

The current generation won't have that luxury as many will still be paying mortgages almost up to retirement age and kids will be staying home longer as they can't affort to get places of their own etc.