undeniable truths

el_tiddlero

generalisations are always inappropriate and render any argument void..


any others glorious truths??

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Genghiz Cohen

Steal a car at 16, drive it into a pole, it won't end well.

Insect Overlord

Godwin kills threads.

el_tiddlero

Scien wrote: »

Triangle sandwiches taste better than halved ones.

agreed wholeheartedly.. although the question remains, 2 or 4 triangles? I go for 2 personally, those tiny quarters don't seem as filling as 2 halves.

Turd Ferguson

el_tiddlero wrote: »

generalisations are always inappropriate and render any argument void..


any others glorious truths??

All women are batshit crazy

Fratton Fred

when someone starts a sentence "I'm not criticising...." they are about to criticise.

If they start "I'm not being bossy...." they are about to be bossy.

etc etc.

destroyer

What goes up must come down.


* wistfully thinks of what house was worth 2 years ago*

keano_afc

Standing on an upturned plug is the worst pain imaginable.

Genghiz Cohen

el_tiddlero wrote: »

agreed wholeheartedly.. although the question remains, 2 or 4 triangles? I go for 2 personally, those tiny quarters don't seem as filling as 2 halves.

2 is still halving, he must mean 4.

el_tiddlero

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

2 is still halving, he must mean 4.

yeah but it's the shape that makes the taste...

by your logic, a sandwich quatered in squares would taste better than a triangular halved sandwich - that i could not agree with..

mikedragon32

Depending on your point of view those quartered square sambos might be seen as diamonds...

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Turd Ferguson

el_tiddlero wrote: »

yeah but it's the shape that makes the taste...

by your logic, a sandwich quatered in squares would taste better than a triangular halved sandwich - that i could not agree with..

I like to cut my sandwiches in 3 triangles...like below

el_tiddlero

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I like to cut my sandwiches in 3 triangles...like below

damn you and your maverick ways Ferguson.. You're off the case..

xOxSinéadxOx

and there I was expecting a picture of a sandwich, how naive of me

Dlite

Two heads are better than one, as long as they're not attached.

Turd Ferguson

xOxSinéadxOx wrote: »

and there I was expecting a picture of a sandwich, how naive of me

The square symbolises a sandwich

Darkbloom

anyone who calls it "St. Patty's Day" needs to be purged from the genepool.

xOxSinéadxOx

I am aware of that but I was expecting a big juicy sandwich cut into 3 triangles. food porn ftw

Turd Ferguson

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I like to cut my sandwiches in 3 triangles...like below

It's lopsided

Lopsided doesn't taste nice

Turd Ferguson

bluewolf wrote: »

It's lopsided

Lopsided doesn't taste nice

You're lopsided!!!! And its only like that cos I suck as mspaint.

Lynskey

Undeniable truths?

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

Everyone remembers the day a dog ran into their school

The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is call your teacher "mom" or "dad"

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity

It's impossible to look cool while picking up a frisbee

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with

Every bloke has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed halfway through and then raced against the flush

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad :pac:

monkeyfudge

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

monkey9

Fratton Fred wrote: »

when someone starts a sentence "I'm not criticising...." they are about to criticise.

If they start "I'm not being bossy...." they are about to be bossy.

etc etc.

Or if they start "I'm not being racist but......." you better believe someone's about to be called a n!gger

Latchy

Compulsive liars cant help themselfs but it's annoying when they expect you to believe their untruths .

easyeason3

If you drink lots of beer & eat taco fries you CAN'T stray too far from the toilet the next day.

If you're trying to avoid someone, chances are you will fall over in front of them.

Mother doesn't know best because if she did she wouldn't have given me a dog bowl hair cut when I was younger.

New Years Eve is usually spent kissing & hugging people you would normally cross the road to avoid/ like to set on fire.

deco05ie

Lynskey wrote: »

Undeniable truths?

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

Everyone remembers the day a dog ran into their school

The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is call your teacher "mom" or "dad"

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity

It's impossible to look cool while picking up a frisbee

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with

Every bloke has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed halfway through and then raced against the flush

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad :pac:

It's so true, even if you have already got it stuch and released 10 times you still panic. I think the only reason you get it stuck in the first place is for the relief of getting it unstuck

Genghiz Cohen

deco05ie wrote: »

It's so true, even if you have already got it stuch and released 10 times you still panic. I think the only reason you get it stuck in the first place is for the relief of getting it unstuck

Meh, all you have to do is turn off the hoover, your todger comes right out.

SeekUp

The only thing certain in life is death.

Not particularly glorious, but there you have it.

barleybooley

Scien wrote: »

Triangle sandwiches taste better than halved ones.

In the words of Mrs. Doyle "They're diagonal". Glorious.

Mayo people, myself included, refer to all crisps as "Tayto".

You can't get your hair to look as nice as it did leaving the hairdresser yourself.

Tea from the pot tastes better than a bag in the cup.

-fact.com

El Guapo!

You can never trust a fart :eek:

Catari Jaguar

Peter Kay much? Some originality please. I expect more from you After Hours people.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

monkey9 wrote: »

Or if they start "I'm not being racist but......." you better believe someone's about to be called a n!gger

The worst has to be "Now no offence but..." I put my offended face straight on when I hear that.

Other truths: The weather is always best during the Leaving, you'll always get ill at the worst possible time, and it's only when you have to get up early that you can't get to sleep.

easyeason3

Dean09 wrote: »

You can never trust a fart :eek:

I only realised the true extent of that when I went to Turkey a few years ago on holiday. The local food had me in ribbons & for about three months after it I had a phobia about farting anywhere else but in the toilet.
Nasty :eek:

Professey Chin

Try to sneak in quietly when drunk, youre guaranteed sh!t gonna get smashed

Lobelia Overhill

Lynskey wrote: »

Everyone remembers the day a dog ran into their school

I remember the day a cow ran into our school...

+1 on the "no offence but ... " and you know you're going to be mortally offended.

Coffee always tastes best from one particular mug, it just doesn't taste the same from any other vessel

Boskowski

SeekUp wrote: »

The only thing certain in life is death.

What about the taxman?

ejmaztec

realcam wrote: »

What about the taxman?

All tax-men are zombies.

biko

Everyone is someone else's weirdo

dr.bollocko

Seen graffiti'd on the wall behind a restaurant in Limerick:

"It's not always about what you get out of it."

It was in a speechbubble coming from an anthromorphised ice cream.


What?


My drink was spiked.

Sam Vimes

el_tiddlero wrote: »

generalisations are always inappropriate and render any argument void..

Saying that generalisations are always inappropriate is a generalisation

red-demon

87% of people believe made up statistics

Shacklebolt

barleybooley wrote: »

Mayo people, myself included, refer to all crisps as "Tayto"

Not round my neck of the woods .... What part of the county are you from?

Captain Darling

red-demon wrote: »

87% of people believe made up statistics

60% of the time, it works all the time.......

Lynskey

Sam Vimes wrote: »

Saying that generalisations are always inappropriate is a generalisation

There you go again with your relentless logic....

Shanotheslayer

Captain Darling wrote: »

60% of the time, it works all the time.......

Damnit! got there before me

Jeapy

Shacklebolt wrote: »

Not round my neck of the woods .... What part of the county are you from?

+1. I'd say i know about 5 people who say that!

slamman

Always remember your unique...........Just like everybody else.

Insect Overlord

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Seen graffiti'd on the wall behind a restaurant in Limerick:

"It's not always about what you get out of it."

It was in a speechbubble coming from an anthromorphised ice cream.

Completely off-topic, I know, but there are some brilliant graffiti artists in Limerick. Plenty of shite ones too though, they're unavoidable.

GirlInterrupted

Lobelia Overhill wrote: »

I remember the day a cow ran into our school...

+1 on the "no offence but ... " and you know you're going to be mortally offended.

Coffee always tastes best from one particular mug, it just doesn't taste the same from any other vessel

This is completely true.