The Mess - Military Forum Off Topic Thread!

Zambia

Poccington wrote: »

Eddie Rockets
Nom nom nom

F**king hell now I miss eddies too ....:(

Your a bad man :mad:

iceage

Done! am I bollixed or what. Been eating and drinking all around me this evening, Bacon Cheddar whatsit is on my hit list tomorrow.:D

Manic Moran

When I found them, I loaded up on Yorkies, Jaffa Cakes and Bounty bars in Afghanistan.

My First Sergeant didn't seem to see the appeal.

NTM

Local-womanizer

The pocket on the right arm of our smock is absolute perfect size for a Yorkie bar and a Nutri-grain bar....

iceage

My Son passed his Leaving Cert with flying colours.....the relief!!

He obviously got the brains from his Mothers side of the family.

Local-womanizer

Fair play to him!

What next for him,college or the army?!

iceage

The College route is what he's interested in I reckon, but then "I ain't the boss of him now" cue weird TV lyrics, or so I'm told! Bit of down time for him, he deserves it.

Congratulations to all you other leaving Cert loonies out there.....Even you misguided ones!

.22 Lover

Wheres the nearest RDF recruting office in swords?

Local-womanizer

.22 Lover wrote: »

Wheres the nearest RDF recruting office in swords?

There ya go,should tell you there!

On another note,took a mad notion to go running all week,3-4 miles a day and sprinting alot,at this rate I'll catch up with Ice-age,but I am along way off poc and his training twice a day!

Yitzhak Rabin

I didn't want to a start a new thread about this, so I guess here would be best.

Did anyone else here the rumors that the DF will be going back to Lebanon in April 2011?

I heard it'll be a 4 W Bde led mission. 5 companies I heard from one person, and another told me almost 700 troops! Heard we'll be based in Tyre.

If its true its great news for all in the DF.

thefishone

yekahs wrote: »

I didn't want to a start a new thread about this, so I guess here would be best.

Did anyone else here the rumors that the DF will be going back to Lebanon in April 2011?

I heard it'll be a 4 W Bde led mission. 5 companies I heard from one person, and another told me almost 700 troops! Heard we'll be based in Tyre.

If its true its great news for all in the DF.

Yes heard that rumour,also heard the Golan Heights mentioned for early
2011,something about the Finns withdrawing and us taking over,all rumours of course!

SIRREX

yekahs wrote: »

I didn't want to a start a new thread about this, so I guess here would be best.

Did anyone else here the rumors that the DF will be going back to Lebanon in April 2011?

I heard it'll be a 4 W Bde led mission. 5 companies I heard from one person, and another told me almost 700 troops! Heard we'll be based in Tyre.

If its true its great news for all in the DF.

This is what has everybody talking in work. People are very eager to get back to our full overseas deployment of 850 at a time. Everyone has heard different numbers but the one constant seems to be rumours of taking over Tyre Bks, apparently the Fijians are pulling out?

Along with the Recruitment beginning, an announcement of an overseas mission would go a long way to lifting heads

iceage

West Bank is getting busy these days....

iceage

Infantry: A good rifle

Armoured: A big tank

Artillery: A loud boom

UPON HEARING FIREWORKS

Infantry: Cool, just like a live fire excercise

Armoured: Not loud enough

Artillery: Fireworks? What fireworks?

OTHER TRADES

Infantry: Waste of rations

Armoured: Waste of rations

Artillery: Waste of rations

IDEA OF FUN

Infantry: Not having to “pepper-pot” an entire grid square before the objective

Armoured: Racing across a grid square on “full stab”

Artillery: Levelling a grid square

FAVOURITE SONG

Infantry: “Ballad of the Green Beret”

Armoured: “Purple Haze”

Artillery: Anything, just play it LOUD!

BIGGEST LUXURY IN THE FIELD

Infantry: Engineers blowing trenches for them with C4

Armoured: Grunts to dig their trenches for them

Artillery: Cable

A LONG ROUTE MARCH WITH FULL KIT

Infantry: 20 clicks

Armoured: From the hangars to the tank

Artillery: What’s a route march?

OFFICERS

Infantry: Are morons and should stay away from the trenchlines

Armoured: Are morons and should stay out of the vehicles

Artillery: Are morons and should stay away from the gun lines

FAVOURITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

Infantry: Anything but walking

Armoured: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS!

Artillery: Don’t you have to move around to require transport?

BIGGEST BITCH IN THE FIELD

Infantry: The weather

Armoured: Coffee maker in tank not working

Artillery: Only having basic cable

BREAKFAST IN THE FIELD

Infantry: I don’t care what it is, just so long as I can sit down to eat it

Armoured: Hot coffee and rum with a beer chaser

Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton’s coffee

WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES

Infantry: Death Techs

Armoured: Cavalry

Artillery: 10 Mile Snipers

WHAT OTHERS CALL THEM

Infantry: Grunts

Armoured: Zipperheads

Artillery: Drop shorts

Needed a giggle, enjoy.

iceage

UP TIPP!! Seems a certain Kitty got proper Fcuked today.

A pint or two to celebrate me thinks.

Carry on..

Manic Moran

FAVOURITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

Armoured: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS!

LMAO. Yep, that one's accurate.

Road march one also highly accurate.

NTM

OS119

iceage wrote: »

Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton’s coffee

obviously i'd disagree with the coffee - only fit as it is for women, Americans and those with a lavender persuasion - and replace the toast with fried bread, but upon reading that list, one wonders why anyone would what to join anything but God's own (Royal) regiment...

iceage

+1 there brother on the fried slice and splosh. Couldn't find a proper English version of above ditty.

I remember getting into a punch up as a kid Cadet in 78th RA in East Dulwich with a knob from the Chav Cav, when the yellow in my stable belt was called into question by the all hallowed Taxi Regiment. Oh how we laughed. .

Manic Moran

Household 6 and I have dramatically diverging viewpoints on vehicles. She made me sell the XFR I had bought. She believes in spending the least amount of money possible on cars, they devalue quickly, and the cheap ones work for as long as the expensive ones. Driving is something which needs to be done, not something to be enjoyed for the sake of it.

As a result, her vehicle is a 1994 Toyota 4-Runner. Perfectly sensible for the time. Which looks like it's had a few years. Filled with 'quirks', I did not believe it was going to last the coming year, regardless of her faith in the car.

This weekend, before the year even started, she killed it. Engine stopped working on the drive home. AAA man comes out, looks at it, checks the oil and 'there's your problem'.

Yep, even though I had remarked to her two weeks ago that I couldn't recall the car ever going in for servicing, she let the thing run out of oil.

The timing could have been better. Fortunately, she's paying for the replacement. Unfortunately, it's probably going to be a fairly large SUV, despite her desire for me to pick something 'sensible.' I hate trucks.

NTM

iceage

Manic Moran wrote: »

She made me sell the XFR I had bought.

Thats a Jag!! She made you do it....Mate do we need to talk?

Manic Moran wrote: »

As a result, her vehicle is a 1994 Toyota 4-Runner. NTM

Shes got some neck! then she Killed a Toyota, Im impressed.:)

Manic Moran

Well, the S4 droptop isn't the worst car in the world to be stuck with, and it does still leave the airplane option open.

NTM

iceage

Wings...now thats thinking with ya head! :cool:

BigDuffman

So who's going on this "gathering" for the weekend?

Local-womanizer

BigDuffman wrote: »

So who's going on this "gathering" for the weekend?

Yea,ill be present.

BigDuffman

Should be huge! Everyone seems to be pulling out all the stops...thank fcuk!

Manic Moran

This is cool... All I have to do is send an email to the local Sheriff, and say "you are commanded forthwith to arrest the above-named individual and bring him or her before me at (Location). The arrest may be made either during the day or at night" and minions shall be dispatched to go do my bidding.

I've got two personnel in my crosshairs for this one right now. Must keep control of myself before my megalomania gets the better of me, though.

NTM

goldie fish

BigDuffman

Capt Blackadder

goldie fish wrote: »

BigDuffman wrote: »

Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann: "AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

Pte. Joker: "AGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann: "AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

Pte. Joker: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Simples.

In other nudes, I'm looking for a new multi tool for myself. Decided I need one. That new Leatherman MUT looks the dogs danglers, but it's pricey. Any recommendations for other multi tools that'd be useful with regards to RDF/outdoors use?

BigDuffman

Cant go wrong with a Leatherman, got the charge myself. Had it years and not one complaint yet. One handed opening on the blades is dead handy.

Manic Moran

Here's an odd one. The effect of ice on a bullet.

http://gizmodo.com/5663836/the-incredible-case-of-the-spinning-bullet-on-ice

Tank advert.


NTM

Manic Moran

Speaking of Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFgiUm4lQig

NTM

Saw this thread, had to pass it on.

Rec > Fashion & Appearance- lads wearing those military style boots??


So, would you bring your non-steel-toe Magnums on the tiles?

Manic Moran

Well, I issued my first arrest warrant on Saturday. Confused the hell out of the law enforcement agencies, their procedures tend not to incorporate the concept of some random non-judge chap coming up, handing them a piece of paper and saying 'Go get this guy and bring him to me'.

Worked, though. He wasn't at home at the time the police dropped by, but the word got out that the warrant was issued and he turned up of his own volition the next day. I then demoted him two grades for repeated AWOLs.

I think it's set a bit of an example for some of the other lads. System still needs a bit of tweaking, though, I have to see yet how to get the warrant entered into NCIC. (National computer, so that if the subject gets pulled over for speeding three years later while on his summer holidays in Florida, he gets the handcuffs put on him). It can be done, but it seems a bit convoluted.

NTM

OS119

you have no idea quite how much i envy you....

otoh - in your experience, how will this bloke perform in future, will he leave, buck his ideas up, or just be a malcontent there under sufference who, when your next OPTOUR comes up, you wouldn't want within a thousand miles of you?

Manic Moran

OS119 wrote: »

you have no idea quite how much i envy you....

otoh - in your experience, how will this bloke perform in future, will he leave, buck his ideas up, or just be a malcontent there under sufference who, when your next OPTOUR comes up, you wouldn't want within a thousand miles of you?

If he leaves, I'll just sign another warrant...

I have absolutely no basis upon which to make a statement. I've never issued a warrant before, never seen it done (have heard of it done in whispered rumours, but nothing directly), and when it comes to this guy, I don't know what he's like since he's been AWOL so much! The only time I've interacted with him he seemed a little, well, unenthusiastic, but given that at the time I was instructing him to remove his rank insignia and place it on my desk, that may not be entirely representative.

The guy was former Active Duty army, he did three years before signing on with the Guard, so I'm assuming the military life didn't disagree with him that much. He also could do with the money, his civilian job isn't fantastic.

I've suggested that if he doesn't like the Cav (Odd, since he was infantry), we'd be willing to help him transfer to a transpo or signals unit or whatever; it's not so much that we don't want him to leave, but we're going to force him to carry out his obligation that he raised his hand for. He's got until 2012 to serve.

NTM

OS119

Manic Moran wrote: »

it's not so much that we don't want him to leave, but we're going to force him to carry out his obligation that he raised his hand for. He's got until 2012 to serve.

NTM

if your sqn got slated for an emergency tour in Helmand, would you take him - or find some non-job where he'd be out of the way?

Manic Moran

Oh, we'd take him.

Whether or not he was redeemable as a combat troop might depend on what we'd do with him, though. There are always plenty of positions to be filled as 'Water tank inspection trooper' or whatever.

NTM

Manic Moran

Basic Training must have gotten tougher just before I got in. I don't recall it being much like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUvg7Empjfg

NTM

Manic Moran

Interestingly, the Gardai over at Emergency Services seem to disagree with my actions with respect to issueing the warrant. They seem to believe the police have better things to do with their time.

NTM

Local-womanizer

Manic Moran wrote: »

Interestingly, the Gardai over at Emergency Services seem to disagree with my actions with respect to issueing the warrant. They seem to believe the police have better things to do with their time.

NTM

Seen that!

Different mindset regarding the Police and Reserves in this country I would suggest,and I dont just mean the governments mindset!

concussion

I saw that - surely the local cops prioritise their calls. I'm sure if there was a few serious crimes going down they would have responded to them and left the Trooper for later.

Manic Moran

Bought my 'plane ticket. I'll be skulking around the first week of January.

NTM

OS119

Manic Moran wrote: »

Bought my 'plane ticket. I'll be skulking around the first week of January.

NTM

bring salt.

discus

Is Irish Military Online offline or something?

SIRREX

discus wrote: »

Is Irish Military Online offline or something?

Good I'm not the only one. I keep getting this message
"You don't have permission to access / on this server."

discus

SIRREX wrote: »

Good I'm not the only one. I keep getting this message
"You don't have permission to access / on this server."

Same here!

OS119

discus wrote: »

Same here!

just tried it. me too...

Poccington

Me three.

Irish_Army01

Its down..wonder how long it will be down...