Maintaining the 'Illusion of Perfection'

shellyboo

A spin-off from another thread on a rather interesting topic.

The lovely Das Kitty said that her friend has never let her husband hear her pass wind, or see her shave her legs - apparently maintaining the 'Illusion of Perfection' with her husband.

In a former long-term relationship, there were no secrets between me and my bf... there was no boundary, at all. The toilet door was never locked and he wouldn't have been any stranger to flatulence or chatting to me while I showered and de-fuzzed.

Now... I'm reconsidering. I think I'd rather maintain some boundaries between me and my partner - that includes what I'm doing on the loo and how I remove my bodily hair


Do you think this is going a bit far, or is it just a nice way of keeping a bit of mystery about a relationship?

Xiney

The two of us are not particularly interested in mystery, I guess. We're just comfortable with ourselves and with each other - more so than we are with anyone else. Also, we have a lot of... I suppose immature or After Hours style humour.

jellie

i think theres a line.

i have no issue with long term partners seeing me with a few hairs on my legs, showers, baths etc., no problem. i think its nice to have someone you are that comfortable around and it adds to the relationship far more than any "air of mystery" could.

but i think anything to do with the toilet is going a bit too far. & thats nothing to do with any mystery.

shellyboo

sar84 wrote: »

i think theres a line.

i have no issue with long term partners seeing me with a few hairs on my legs, showers, baths etc., no problem. i think its nice to have someone you are that comfortable around and it adds to the relationship far more than any "air of mystery" could.

but i think anything to do with the toilet is going a bit too far. & thats nothing to do with any mystery.

Yeah, it's kinda complicated! Like, I'd have no bother getting nekkid with a bf even if I wasn't perfectly groomed - stubbly legs are a poor excuse to refuse intimacy. That doesn't bother me at all.

But I think I'd rather keep the grooming techniques private - do my shaving and waxing and things privately. I dunno, it just seems nicer that way.

But then, perversely, I love watching my bf shave. Love it love it love it. It's just so sexy!

I agree that the toilet is a unbreachable boundary. I went there before and I'm not going there again.

Wibbs

I'm cool with pretty much everything, period stuff, sickness snotters hair, you name it I'm cool, except toilet stuff especially farting. I have a major phobia/madness/issue about that for some reason. Never have in front of a woman and if they did in front of me(unless accidental) I would honestly think twice about the future with her. I actually split up with a woman way back for this. She would do it quite a bit and was proud of it. Cool, but not for me. Mad I know but there ya go. People are wierd(me basically)

Wibbs

I've helped women wax before. Those home kit thingies. Slap on the stuff with the wooden spatula with the temperature indicator, stick on the strip, rub on and pull in one move. Was a bit of a laugh actually:) Shaving too, though I stopped short of those epilator things. Jeez they are agony(tried it my own hair on legs.:D) so there would be no laugh involved.

SeekUp

sar84 wrote: »

but i think anything to do with the toilet is going a bit too far. & thats nothing to do with any mystery.

Amen!

I've no problem with having a high level of comfort with your partner. I mean, farting happens, showering together is fun, I'm not going to shave my legs every day, who cares (and if he's in the shower with me while I'm shaving, so be it). But I've found that there are a few personal grooming things that I do when he's out or occupied. It's not as if it's anything mysterious about it or I'm trying to keep up the appearance that I don't have to work at looking presentable (HA!), it's just . . . he knows I do these things, but does he need to see me do them? Not really.

Our bathroom door is never locked either, but when it's closed, it's usually for a reason.

Malari

We're pretty open about this kind of stuff. I'll often sit in the bathroom and chat when he's having a shower or vice-versa.

Farting...hmmm. What can I say, he's a boy (no offense to anyone!) :rolleyes: He laughs every time and I have to admit it's funny I'll only do them by accident in front of him, despite the fact that he's been begging me for years to "let it rip".

As for the toilet, I am like Eliot in Scrubs - it's private and there will be ASOLUTELY NO TALKING TO ME through the door if I am on the loo! :eek:

I think it's a bit juvenile, trying to pretend every day is like a first date, where you want to appear perfect. I want someone who loves me when I'm dolled up AND when I've just climbed out of bed with messy hair and no make-up.

Otis Driftwood

Meh,everything except a twosie is fine with me.

Oryx

Malari wrote: »

As for the toilet, I am like Eliot in Scrubs - it's private and there will be ASOLUTELY NO TALKING TO ME through the door if I am on the loo! :eek:

Its funny, but I wouldnt mind if he had to nip into the bathroom to pick up a towel or razor or something while I was on the bog, but that talking to me, through the door or otherwise would drive me nuts too. I think you need space to meditate or something.:)

I dont have an issue over being seen doing anything at all, if it happened that he was there while I was doing waxing etc. But there are times when I just need space and would prefer to do stuff like that alone. It has nothing to do with having a hangup over it, just that I want the peace and quiet to concentrate... I think too, that if you are in a relationship where you are trying to create an illusion of perfection, youre just making work for yourself. In my experience, half the time he wont notice much either way, and if he does, he probably wont mention. Id say more relationships were lost over a woman being hung up over being seen with a naked face, than were ruined by a woman being her natural self, stubble and all. A time will come anyway when he will see you without a bikini wax. You ever try to find your bikini line when youre pregnant, let alone wax it?


(This thread reminds me of that tv ad where the the guy brings a girl home all sexy and she goes upstairs to change, comes back down in a baggy tshirt and upper lip bleach, ripping him about the broken window)

Léan

I'm pretty much cool with most things except faltulance and toilet related actvities. I'm so weird about it that if someone is within listening distance i'l leave the tap run on full blast .

They only other things I wouldn't want him to see would be bleaching/waxing. I mean, he knows I do it, but would feel a bit odd if he was there.

LivingDeadGirl

Cool with everything I think. I barely ever shave tbh, like once a month! I've got pretty fine hairs on my legs that are blondish anyway. If he doesn;t like it he can piss off, I don't see him starting any deforestation on his AMAZON! Bathroom stuff, mostly ok I think, we just laugh at it! He likes to flick the light on and off when I'm in the bathroom to piss me off though, cunt! :mad:

SarahSassy

My OH finds it entertaining that I close the door using the loo and will not fart in front of him.... Have no issue shaving my legs in front of him but dont consider than an intimate thing to do..

He actually really likes the bit of mystery and has told me so... I think he thinks I am more of a lady because of it (poor him!! ) .....

Morag

There has to be a certain ammount of privacy and boundaries tbh.

Faith

I'm in a relatively new relationship (< 1 year), so it's not quite the same as a marriage, but I do try to be well groomed all the time, purely out of my own self-consciousness. Sure, after a marathon of sex, he's going to see me being sweaty with a red face and hair sticking up all over the place, but I doubt he even notices then! I'd rather do my make-up as soon as I'm out of the shower rather then wander around bare faced. I'm very self-conscious without make-up in front of him, it's like I just don't believe he'll still fancy me without it!

I wouldn't ever be in the bathroom while he was on the toilet, and vice versa. I don't even like knowing he can hear me pee, and have on occasion gone to another bathroom in the house to avoid using the ensuite . He farts in front of me all the time and we laugh, but I'd hate to fart in front of him! I'm sure if I do, he'll just laugh, but I'd rather not.

I don't think I'd care if he saw me shaving my legs or whatever. I tell him about my bikini waxes on occasion, by way of conversation. My razor lives in the shower, so it's not like he think I have magically hairless legs!

Suaimhneach

I think sometimes its more to do with the sort of person you are and then that can reflect in your relationship. And just like ourselves and relationships, time and growing, changes things.

I'm very laid back and wouldn't have any problem with all of the above, but there is something classic about the illusion of perfection... something intriguing.

Tbh, I think if you explained everything you were doing to "maintain" yourself to a guy, and literally showed him, and then disappeared into a bathroom did all your stuff and came out looking a million dollars he'd probably still just go "Phoawh, how did you do that?".

Ginny

We're together less then 1 year ourselves, we have an ensuite, so I have popped in to ask him something while in the shower. He's never seen me shave my legs or underarms, but then again I don't think anyone has ever. My skin is quite sensitive so I have to left the stubble grow before i can shave it again, its not an issue at all for us, anyways seemingly I have hairless enough legs, I think its down to a good few years of waxing.

I have an Elliott phobia too about the toilet, I hate the thought of anyone hearing me in there, or talking to me, whatever you have to say can wait.
I also have a habit of locking the bathroom door even if I'm just going in to do my teeth, I think its from growing up with a younger brother who'd barge into the bathroom if the door wasn't locked.

JackieRyan

Him indoors and i are together a long time he has seen me with removal cream on my legs and underarms ,we have an en-suite and neither of us feels the need to leave the room while the other uses the facilities ,and often carry on a conversation .if this is not the norm so be it,it works for us



cheers
jackie

allandanyways

There are no disillusions between me and the OH. He used to make fun of me if I didn't shave my legs or whatever when we'd only been going out a while and call me fuzzball etc but he soon learned that the whole "always-have-to-have-my-legs-shaved" thing wears off after a while. Sometimes I'm just not arsed like.

He's intrigued by the fact that I wax my eyebrows and lip. He asked me to wax a bit of his arm before and I told him it would hurt more cos the hair was longer etc but he said no, he could take it so I did and he didn't cry but there were tears in his eyes... He just kept saying "that is brutal, that's self harm you know" :rolleyes:

I have IBS so he got over the flatulence pretty quick...

Agreeing with previous posters, I think being comfortable with each other brings far more to a relationship than an air of mystery, takes the pressure off having to look perfect all the time and worrying if he's noticed the one eyebrow hair you didn't manage to pluck or whatever...

sam34

i think showering with someone can be a very erotic and sensual experience.

however, i realy dont want to witness someone else on the loo, or to have them witness me there. close teh door please!

Madame Razz

Hmmmmmm...

Well, I look after myself anyway, and he knows this, and moans about it more often than not, though I think that secretly he appreciates it.

Think it's more the time that gets him; like, we might be in town and I'll have an appointment of some sort and it means that he has to hang around..... and that can really bug him.

As regards at home, he just thinks I'm funny.

I'm really into my cosmetics etc, and my bathroom reflects this. It scares the average man, and when himself first saw it, he was fairly taken aback.But he's used to it now. He still laughs at my washbag if we go away....I'm never excessive, cos I travel loads anyway, but compared to his two items I supoose it does look funny.

I don't have a problem doing certain things around him, like showering or make up, or putting lotion on, that sort of stuff.

Other stuff though, like toes and feet, face masks, that sort of thing, I'd lock myself in the ensuite. It probably wouldn't bother him, but I'd feel weird about it. I don't think he NEEDS to see stuff like this. Withing reason, I try to look my best around him as much as I can. Being blessed with a spectacular bedhead confounds this though:(.....though weirdly, he loves the bedhead.....men are strange.....:rolleyes:

Toilet habits; I think as couples go we're pretty respectful. I think generally guys are more comfortable with this sort of thing anyway, but for us, toilettime is strictly a locked door on my own activity for me, regardless of nature of said action:o. There's something especially vulnerable about sitting on the loo, and I never want anybody to witness it!! As for him, he might use the loo whilst I'm showering(strictly no 1s of course) and I don't mind this. Men peeing is more impersonal I think???

Other business he confines to the main bathroom and doesn't inflict on me or my ensuite, which is nice of him I think:D

And on the subject of wind.....He's very inoffensive about stuff like this too really, and would only ever do in front of me if he really needed to. Which is fair enough. The same would probably go for me tbh, but I must admit to being a little weird about it, so would tend to prefer some privacy even for this:o

I used to date a guy who took great pleasure in farting as much as he could, as loudly as he could, as often as he could, in front of me....he would also like to waft them in my direction.....

The same guy also used to take pleasure in freaking me out by walking into the bathroom while i was 'engaged', and thought this too was absolutely hilarious. It wasn't. And I really didn't appreciate any of it. What a knob....:rolleyes:

Das Kitty

We're both pretty low-maintenance people. I wear makeup maybe once a week, he shaves every second day.

The main reason I remember the conversation with the girl mentioned in the original post is that I couldn't get over the leg shaving thing. I can understand keeping your farts to yourself, but I really really don't know why you wouldn't want your partner to see you shave your legs. In fact having your partner shave your legs for you can be extremely erotic (provided he's not a brute with the razor!).

Over our 10 year relationship there is pretty much no boundary that has yet to be passed (except for the Bobby Brown Whitney Huston one, I'll let you google that!). I've had medical problems and needed his help with bathing and getting to the loo, and you know what, it was the most caring, lovely thing to have done for you, you can't be embarrassed. He's seen me at my worst and showed me the most love at that time.

Now, we still close the door (not lock) for twosies, but it's more in consideration of the other person rather than a sense of embarrassment.

shellyboo

Oryx wrote: »

I think too, that if you are in a relationship where you are trying to create an illusion of perfection, youre just making work for yourself. In my experience, half the time he wont notice much either way, and if he does, he probably wont mention. Id say more relationships were lost over a woman being hung up over being seen with a naked face, than were ruined by a woman being her natural self, stubble and all.

I completely agree. For me, it's not about maintaining any sort of illusion - I know men know that women come with hair on and that it has to be removed somehow

I wouldn't be ocd about him not seeing xyz... but I just think it's nice to make the effort for him, in private, and be all nice and groomed as if by magic Does that make any sense?

Léan wrote: »

I'm pretty much cool with most things except faltulance and toilet related actvities. I'm so weird about it that if someone is within listening distance i'l leave the tap run on full blast .

I hate the thought of people hearing me pee too! It gives me the creeps.

Faith wrote: »

I'd rather do my make-up as soon as I'm out of the shower rather then wander around bare faced. I'm very self-conscious without make-up in front of him, it's like I just don't believe he'll still fancy me without it!

Have to say though, think this is a bit bonkers! No offence intended at all Faith, though. Does he not see you bare-faced at night when you take it off?

I don't wear make-up every day anyway, so I guess it's no big deal for me!

allandanyways wrote: »

Agreeing with previous posters, I think being comfortable with each other brings far more to a relationship than an air of mystery, takes the pressure off having to look perfect all the time and worrying if he's noticed the one eyebrow hair you didn't manage to pluck or whatever...

I sort of disagree with you here... it's not about pressure to look perfect (at least it isn't for me). I know I don't have to look perfect 100% of the time in front of my bf, but I think it's nice to make the effort BECAUSE he doesn't take it for granted.

sam34 wrote: »

i think showering with someone can be a very erotic and sensual experience.

Definitely! But combine that with "scuse me til I just shave my pits..." and the sexy is pretty much gone, right?

Madame Razz wrote: »

Other stuff though, like toes and feet, face masks, that sort of thing, I'd lock myself in the ensuite. It probably wouldn't bother him, but I'd feel weird about it. I don't think he NEEDS to see stuff like this. Withing reason, I try to look my best around him as much as I can.

This is pretty much how I feel. I just don't think he needs to be involved in the process of how I make myself feel good and sexy... I think that spoils the excitement of it all.

MJOR

:DWe have an ensuite and we don't close the door at all...We're sharing our lives together... duvet wafting and all

Otis Driftwood

MJOR wrote: »

duvet wafting and all

That made me lol,cheers.

Quality

Ahh I am with Mr Quality 14 years this year, he has seen it all... blood, Sh1t and tears...

He caught me hand-expressing milk into a bowl, for the babies rice on Sunday morning... He just laughed.
He has seen me at my best and worst!! And he loves me. If he felt embarrassed about me doing certain things, I would question his love for me.

joejoem

shellyboo wrote: »

Now... I'm reconsidering. I think I'd rather maintain some boundaries between me and my partner - that includes what I'm doing on the loo and how I remove my bodily hair


Do you think this is going a bit far, or is it just a nice way of keeping a bit of mystery about a relationship?

Shellyboo - there is zero mystery between you and pretty much anyone that's been on the internet more than five minutes! Seriously, just get a 'diary', write to it, then someday burn it, and basically stay away from the internet.

Wibbs

joejoem, take a week off to read the charter, especially the part about personal abuse.

Latchy

shellyboo wrote: »

A spin-off from another thread on a rather interesting topic.

The lovely Das Kitty said that her friend has never let her husband hear her pass wind, or see her shave her legs - apparently maintaining the 'Illusion of Perfection' with her husband.

In a former long-term relationship, there were no secrets between me and my bf... there was no boundary, at all. The toilet door was never locked and he wouldn't have been any stranger to flatulence or chatting to me while I showered and de-fuzzed.

Now... I'm reconsidering. I think I'd rather maintain some boundaries between me and my partner - that includes what I'm doing on the loo and how I remove my bodily hair


Do you think this is going a bit far, or is it just a nice way of keeping a bit of mystery about a relationship?

Each to their own but I would find that about as intresting as a Brian Cowen speech on the recession.

In other words , no fcuking mystery at all .

t-ha

Wibbs wrote: »

joejoem, take a week off to read the charter, especially the part about personal abuse.

Seriouly though, obviously while I don't want to wind up with a ban I do think that Joejoem's post does represent what most guys would think? Seriously, no-one wants to hear that cr*p. Farting, crapping, etc. etc. This may be the ladies lounge so maybe I just shouldn't be here, but if you want an honest guys opinion - that **** IS disgusting and whatever your man says to you you're better off keeping it to yourself. JOMA (Just One Man's Opinion)

CeilingCat

It could have been said without the insulting overtones though. No need for it.

idontknowmyname

At the start of a relationship yeah you go all out, making sure your lovely legs are hair free. My ex used to use the toilet to pee if I was in the shower but there was no looking. He used to love my bed head, actually used to tell me I looked quite hot :P

Snowie

Shelly boo all i can say is women dont poo, if i walked in and even got the suspision that she was pooing which is completely impossible, Id wash my self in belach and go see a hipnotist....

SexyD4Lady

I don't believe in hiding everything you do to yourself or what is natural from your partner, but I think there are definitely some things that are better kept personal. My OH has seen me shave my legs, underarms and lady bits, purely because we often shower together. Never seen me wax lip but knows I do it. Using the loo is something I don't like other people seeing, unless it's my best girlfriends in which case, we're probably in the same cubicle with a few G&Ts on board Wouldn't dream of passing wind in front of him. I said I've never done it in my life and he always encourages me, like an earlier poster said, to "let rip". Vile! Have burped on occasion accidently e.g. after a few beers, etc. Always followed by a ladylike hand over mouth and "excuse me"

Xiney

t-ha wrote: »

Seriouly though, obviously while I don't want to wind up with a ban I do think that Joejoem's post does represent what most guys would think? Seriously, no-one wants to hear that cr*p. Farting, crapping, etc. etc. This may be the ladies lounge so maybe I just shouldn't be here, but if you want an honest guys opinion - that **** IS disgusting and whatever your man says to you you're better off keeping it to yourself. JOMA (Just One Man's Opinion)

And you know what? This is the Ladies Lounge.


STFU.

nomorebadtown

hmmm me and the OH...we've been in the room when the other is peeing but taking a dump is a one-man-show, i hope we never cross that line tbh:eek:. farting in the others presence is extremely rare. i cant remember if i've seen her shaving legs etc but if i did i dont think any spell would be broken...shes seen me shave plenty:p as for showering, be do that together whenever we feel like it, i'll scrub yours if you scrub mine and all that;)

Salome

I think it's nice to have some boundaries but I don't believe in trying to maintain an air of mystery though. Me and my OH are together 2 years and we're moving in together soon. I don't wear make up every day but I make an effort on the leg shaving front when I can but it wouldn't stop him if I had a bit of stubble! I prefer to keep pees and poos private but showering together is great fun!!

I think it would be pretty exhausting to be as committed to perfection as Das_kitty's friend and extremely unrealistic too. I love relaxing with my OH and I couldn't do that if I was worrying if I've bedhead or my mascara is running - real life isn't like a fashion show.

*Honey*

We're pretty much the same as everyone else ... we don't have an ensuite unfortunately so take turns using the bathroom but when we stay at MIL's (who lives in the UK hence the stayover) we share the bathroom - he brushes his teeth whilst I shower and vice versa.

Loo things are a one person show - if it's an emergency, we can be in the same bathroom for a wee but that doesn't happen very often as we've a cloakroom downstairs. No. 2's are completely and utterly off the radar though (bar once in Thailand when I couldn't hang on and he didn't know anyways!).

I suppose it depends on the couple - some people are more comfortable with some things than others... that's cool, we all tick differently; as long as people respect each other's foibles, then it's all good.

dizzyniki

I live with my boyfriend of three years now and have "broken wind" once in his company when he jiggled my bum....... i was absolutely mortified and i was only with him a few weeks......he has this thing that girls dont fart or make poos and HE IS RIGHT....WE DONT!!!!! nudge nudge;);)...that being said i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it......now we live in a tiny house and im afraid to do anything in the bathroom....i turn on the fan, the tap and sing out as loud as i can because he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....but i want to maintain the 'perfect' illusion!! i won't shower with him unless i have been beautified earlier and know that i'm hair free which is ridiculous really because he sees me at my worst....panda eyes in the morning, stinky breath and a mop of hair you could fry a quarter pounder on!!! he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

Pyr0

LivingDeadGirl wrote: »

Cool with everything I think. I barely ever shave tbh, like once a month! I've got pretty fine hairs on my legs that are blondish anyway. If he doesn;t like it he can piss off, I don't see him starting any deforestation on his AMAZON! Bathroom stuff, mostly ok I think, we just laugh at it! He likes to flick the light on and off when I'm in the bathroom to piss me off though, cunt! :mad:

I don't have to shave, I'm a manly man.

I only do that cause it's hilarious, that's all that matters ! :pac:

dizzyniki wrote: »

I live with my boyfriend of three years now and have "broken wind" once in his company when he jiggled my bum....... i was absolutely mortified and i was only with him a few weeks......he has this thing that girls dont fart or make poos and HE IS RIGHT....WE DONT!!!!! nudge nudge;);)...that being said i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it......now we live in a tiny house and im afraid to do anything in the bathroom....i turn on the fan, the tap and sing out as loud as i can because he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....but i want to maintain the 'perfect' illusion!! i won't shower with him unless i have been beautified earlier and know that i'm hair free which is ridiculous really because he sees me at my worst....panda eyes in the morning, stinky breath and a mop of hair you could fry a quarter pounder on!!! he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

I have to say wtf at that !

It's natural, there's no reason to be embarrassed in your own bathroom when doing the business ! I reckon you should just let one rip if you feel it building up, tell him to like it or lump it !

*Honey*

dizzyniki wrote: »

I live with my boyfriend of three years now and have "broken wind" once in his company when he jiggled my bum....... i was absolutely mortified and i was only with him a few weeks......he has this thing that girls dont fart or make poos and HE IS RIGHT....WE DONT!!!!! nudge nudge;);)...that being said i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it......now we live in a tiny house and im afraid to do anything in the bathroom....i turn on the fan, the tap and sing out as loud as i can because he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....but i want to maintain the 'perfect' illusion!! i won't shower with him unless i have been beautified earlier and know that i'm hair free which is ridiculous really because he sees me at my worst....panda eyes in the morning, stinky breath and a mop of hair you could fry a quarter pounder on!!! he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

I find this somewhat disturbing. You live together and yet, in one area of your life, you're really really being made to feel so uncomfortable in your own house? Not good.

My take on it is that I'm me, this is who I am - I burp sometimes (not often but sometimes it catches you unaware), I fart sometimes (again not often but you can't always control it), I pee and poo, when I cry hard there's sometimes snots. I wake up looking like something out of the Munsters at times, when I've a cold I could be honking into a tissue 24/7.. it happens, it's called being a human being. It's me, it's what I do, I'm not gross or vile - but if my hubby had an attitude about me in the loo that was this far off the radar, well ... lets just say he'd have to grow used to me very very quickly! There's gotta be a bit of give and take and people, in their own homes and in their relationships, need to feel like they can be themselves.

Das Kitty

dizzyniki wrote: »

i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it.

Wow, nice boyfriend.

he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....

Well it's obviously no joke to you if you're that paranoid about it

he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

Yikes missus!

Madame Razz

dizzyniki wrote: »

I live with my boyfriend of three years now and have "broken wind" once in his company when he jiggled my bum....... i was absolutely mortified and i was only with him a few weeks......he has this thing that girls dont fart or make poos and HE IS RIGHT....WE DONT!!!!! nudge nudge;);)...that being said i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it......now we live in a tiny house and im afraid to do anything in the bathroom....i turn on the fan, the tap and sing out as loud as i can because he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....but i want to maintain the 'perfect' illusion!! i won't shower with him unless i have been beautified earlier and know that i'm hair free which is ridiculous really because he sees me at my worst....panda eyes in the morning, stinky breath and a mop of hair you could fry a quarter pounder on!!! he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

OP, your post really disturbs me.

Even from a health perspective, it really isn't good to put your body under such pressure all of the time to save face. Seriously.

I'd be giving your boyf a good kick up the hole if I were you, you're living together, it's plain ridiculous.

Seriously girl, for your own sanity you've got to get him to cop himself on!!!

MJOR

dizzyniki wrote: »

I live with my boyfriend of three years now and have "broken wind" once in his company when he jiggled my bum....... i was absolutely mortified and i was only with him a few weeks......he has this thing that girls dont fart or make poos and HE IS RIGHT....WE DONT!!!!! nudge nudge;);)...that being said i did once and cried for the whole night over it!!!! he made me feel awful about it......now we live in a tiny house and im afraid to do anything in the bathroom....i turn on the fan, the tap and sing out as loud as i can because he really makes me feel weird about it....and i know he's only joking which is the mad thing.....but i want to maintain the 'perfect' illusion!! i won't shower with him unless i have been beautified earlier and know that i'm hair free which is ridiculous really because he sees me at my worst....panda eyes in the morning, stinky breath and a mop of hair you could fry a quarter pounder on!!! he often says to me "none of the other lads' gfs have ever farted in front of them...thats a no no!!!!" Are they only trying to torment us???? because im seriously considering turning into a mess and expressing myself in some rude ways just to spite him!

Ah c'mere we aren't living in Jane Austens times anymore.... Tell you OH to get a life.. in all fairness... women fart and poop! its just the way your body works.... I am not sure how you cope during your monthlys.


Next time just do it ... then its over with and that is it..

Does he let rip in fromt of you??????/:)

dizzyniki

SO so true to ALL of the above...it does put pressure on my body when i'm sitting right next to him but of course i try to leave the room to...am.....evacuate.....ye know what i mean!!!! As for the time of the month...he feels that its natural and cest la vie...what can you do about the whole thing.....its really just a farting and pooping phobia coz id burp the odd time and thats completely ok with him!!!

k now im coming to learn this is the silliest thread i've ever replied to and it's the one that people are taking the most seriously!!!!

Otis Driftwood

t-ha wrote: »

Seriouly though, obviously while I don't want to wind up with a ban I do think that Joejoem's post does represent what most guys would think? Seriously, no-one wants to hear that cr*p. Farting, crapping, etc. etc. This may be the ladies lounge so maybe I just shouldn't be here, but if you want an honest guys opinion - that **** IS disgusting and whatever your man says to you you're better off keeping it to yourself. JOMA (Just One Man's Opinion)

Most (17 year old) guys I take it?

Have you read any of the blokes replys here?

Jules

I try not to fart and i get embarressed about it but he puts on this cute little voice to make me feel better, belching.. hell ya, nothing like a good belch after a few beers and a take away. Peeing it doesnt bother me at all but the pooing, nope, nadda,zip now way. I never lock the door in the bathroom unless im pooing or have my period. At times i go into the bathroom while he is showering and wash his back for him and visa versa.

So just the pooing thing is a no no from me. A friend of mine broke her arm and her then boyfriend who is now husband used to change her tampon for her when needed... now thats love!

Xiney

Jules wrote: »

A friend of mine broke her arm and her then boyfriend who is now husband used to change her tampon for her when needed... now thats love!

:eek:

that is certainly love. I don't even like changing my tampon.

*Honey*

Jules wrote: »

A friend of mine broke her arm and her then boyfriend who is now husband used to change her tampon for her when needed... now thats love!

And they say romance is dead :pac::D:p

MJOR

Jules wrote: »

A friend of mine broke her arm and her then boyfriend who is now husband used to change her tampon for her when needed... now thats love!

there it is...... THE STEP TOO FAR...

sam34

Jules wrote: »

A friend of mine broke her arm and her then boyfriend who is now husband used to change her tampon for her when needed... now thats love!

:eek::eek:

even if she broke her dominant hand, surely she could manage this one-handed??