Your Ladies Lounge = Can we have your thoughts please!

shellyboo

Deleted User wrote: »

I noted the thanks of two mods to Jezzy's post above.

Should I just go now?

Definitely not. I love having men in here, lots of them are brilliant posters and really contribute to the place - but there are a few who smack of lions round the watering hole.

Just make sure you're in the first category by being a good poster You seem to have the right idea already, tbh.

shellyboo

Deleted User wrote: »

I noted the thanks of two mods to Jezzy's post above.

Should I just go now?

Oh, and also, neither of those mods are actually mods of tLL. So they're just members here.

Jazzy

wonder why that hit a nerve?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i just dont see a point in posting here if your a lad. there are only a few topics that would be of interest to boys really and 95% of the time one post will do. id say that more then half the posts here are from blokes which is fundamentally wrong imo. as in, theres something up

Dragan

nedtheshed wrote: »

I do not have the words to comment on this that wouldnt degenerate into dowright insulting you so I wont even bother.

I post on here because I enjoy the banter,its a bit of fun and there are some genuinely nice people that post here that I like interacting with.

If you feel so strongly then go to the help desk and ask it to be made a female only forum instead of making sly comments and insinuations.

Bingo....it's an interesting assumption that an opinion is invalid because the source is male.

Otis Driftwood

Jazzy wrote: »

wonder why that hit a nerve?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i just dont see a point in posting here if your a lad. there are only a few topics that would be of interest to boys really and 95% of the time one post will do. id say that more then half the posts here are from blokes which is fundamentally wrong imo. as in, theres something up

So blokes have never had relatonships,dont have opinions on porn,or dont use facebook?They are just 3 threads on the first page of this particular forum.

Im not a footballer so I shouldnt post my thoughts in the soccer forum?
Im not a pyschologist so I shouldnt post my thoughts in the PI fourm?
etc
etc
etc
etc

There is a forum for blokes currently in the works so do you think females should not be allowed post in there when its launched?

Or should females not be allowed post in the mens health forum?

Suggest that,see how it goes down.

I can understand where you are coming from in relation to certain topics but to say men shouldnt be allowed post here simply because they are men is offensive.

As for hitting a nerve,you are giving yourself way to much credit,believe me.;)

I just take acception to condescending and snide remarks particularly when they are directed at my gender.

*Edit*
I find it interesting that this has been raised by a bloke,ie Jazzy.
I was under the impression that this poster was female,hence the righteous indignation.
Interesting indeed.

Raze_them_all

Jazzy wrote: »

wonder why that hit a nerve?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i just dont see a point in posting here if your a lad. there are only a few topics that would be of interest to boys really and 95% of the time one post will do. id say that more then half the posts here are from blokes which is fundamentally wrong imo. as in, theres something up

There was a thread a while ago asking about implants or breast augmentation, one of the mods said a male opinion was not needed as the poster wanted opinions from someone who had the op, In my opinion one of the most helpful posts was by a male who advised the op to move all things they would need into higher presses etc and to have a family member around for the first few days. Beleive it or not men can have intelligent opinions in regards women, we don't all cut our knuckles off the ground.

Jazzy

nedtheshed wrote: »

*Edit*
I find it interesting that this has been raised by a bloke,ie Jazzy.
I was under the impression that this poster was female,hence the righteous indignation.
Interesting indeed.

i found it pretty easy to understand

g'em

Raze_them_all wrote: »

There was a thread a while ago asking about implants or breast augmentation, one of the mods said a male opinion was not needed as the poster wanted opinions from someone who had the op, In my opinion one of the most helpful posts was by a male who advised the op to move all things they would need into higher presses etc and to have a family member around for the first few days.

And what you didn't see was that my post was in response to the first reply the OP got, from a man, who told her she doesn't need implants and encouraged her to love the way she looks. Did the OP need that in her thread about a VERY sensitive topic? Absolutely not. We don't wade in on threads when we're not needed, give us some credit...

Raze_them_all wrote:

Beleive it or not menMods can havemake intelligent opinionsdecisions in regards women's issues, we don't all cut our knuckles off the ground.

This whole vibe about the volume of men posting here comes up without fail in a cyclical fashion. No-one's going to stop men posting here. But please understand that the more men post, the more muppets invariably arrive. And by simple law of averages of gender use of the intarweb as the male population of the forum increases the risk is run that male rabble becomes louder than that of the girls.

It is, after all, a Ladies Lounge. It was created FOR women to include discussions FROM women. No-one is saying that men can't be here, we simply ask that they be mindful that they are in a forum where different rules apply to all those elsewhere on boards. It means you can't get away with the same "banter" (if it's seen as insulting/ aggressive/ mean/ adversely provocative) towards women. It means that if a woman is uncomfortable with ANYTHING that a bloke posts we will consider the complaint very seriously. This is one place, ONE forum on boards where women's opinions, frankly, take precedence over men's. If you wish to talk about these issues where the male voice gets equal weighting then start a thread on the same topic in Humanities or (if you risk it) After Hours.

Call it discrimination or prejudice or whatever the hell you like, but there's >200 forums on boards.ie and this is ONE place, one single forum where women will be put first, unequivocally and without fail.

Dragan

g'em wrote: »

It means that if a woman is uncomfortable with ANYTHING that a bloke posts we will consider the complaint very seriously. This is one place, ONE forum on boards where women's opinions, frankly, take precedence over men's.

Good to know.

Confusing, mildly insulting, but good to know.

Jazzy

Dragan wrote: »

Confusing, mildly insulting, but good to know.

take your licks Henri

Sherifu

I can't believe this thread turned bitchy.

g'em

Dragan wrote: »

Good to know.

Confusing, mildly insulting, but good to know.

Oh get over it D ffs. More drama from the blokes here than the Discuss your Bits and Bobs/ Relationships Dilemma threads combined.

We're putting women in a women oriented forum first. How confusing a concept can that possibly be? And again, insulting why? Because, as a man, you're not being treated equally in a women's oriented forum? Meh, plenty of other fora for you to migrate to.

Fink Goddie

g'em wrote: »

Oh get over it D ffs. More drama from the blokes here than the Discuss your Bits and Bobs/ Relationships Dilemma threads combined.

We're putting women in a women oriented forum first. How confusing a concept can that possibly be? And again, insulting why? Because, as a man, you're not being treated equally in a women's oriented forum? Meh, plenty of other fora for you to migrate to.

In fairness to the blokes, if it was the other way round, women would go mad and wouldnt stand for it.

g'em

Fink Goddie wrote: »

In fairness to the blokes, if it was the other way round, women would go mad and wouldnt stand for it.

If the women were complaining about being treated secondarily in a male-oriented forum they absolutely wouldn't have a leg to stand on either tbh.

Dragan

g'em wrote: »

Oh get over it D ffs. More drama from the blokes here than the Discuss your Bits and Bobs/ Relationships Dilemma threads combined.

We're putting women in a women oriented forum first. How confusing a concept can that possibly be? And again, insulting why? Because, as a man, you're not being treated equally in a women's oriented forum? Meh, plenty of other fora for you to migrate to.

And this is exactly why, since when is it considered even acceptable, or mannerly, for a MOD to tell someone to "get over it for **** sake".

Or is this an answer because i am a male?

A simple "That's the way it is" would have been fine, instead of the usual run to the "you are a MALE, so it is fine for me to treat you in this way" reply.

It's not about being treated equally, it's about being judged on the opinions you express....which would be a nice assumption when it comes to posting in any forum...that you will be judged by the opinion expressed.

Whether you meant it or not, the post you made implied that ANY complaint against a male poster, no matter how ludicrous....or how right the males posters opinions would be given weight because the complaintant was female?

A reasonable answer would be appeciated...being told to "get over it for **** sake" can be replaced with silence if you don't feel the need to answer with a basic amount of manners.

Then again, the just might not be as empowered eh?:rolleyes:

Xiney

No, it's because you're acting silly, and g'em is exasperated, hence the ffs.

Wibbs

I see it like this. All are welcome, but the angle the forum is coming from is female. The clue is in the title. If anyone is being a muppet, male or female it'll be dealt with. If some thread descends into a situation where the women users of the forum feel they have to justify their gender then yes the weight of the argument will be on their side. I cant see the issue with that TBH.

g'em

Dragan wrote: »

And this is exactly why, since when is it considered even acceptable, or mannerly, for a MOD to tell someone to "get over it for **** sake".

Oh jeebus. The drama continues. You felt "confused and insulted". You're an intelligent guy D, you know that posting something like this right after the post I made is equivocal to sh!t stirring, albeit it in a rather polite way.

Dragan wrote:

Or is this an answer because i am a male?

Jesus called. He wants his cross back.

Dragan wrote:

A simple "That's the way it is" would have been fine, instead of the usual run to the "you are a MALE, so it is fine for me to treat you in this way" reply.

Nope, not cause you are male, because you are playing the wounded innocent as opposed to taking on board the things we say and trying to discuss them.

Dragan wrote:

It's not about being treated equally, it's about being judged on the opinions you express....which would be a nice assumption when it comes to posting in any forum...that you will be judged by the opinion expressed.

You'll fit right in over in the Humanities forum so.

Dragan wrote:

Whether you meant it or not, the post you made implied that ANY complaint against a male poster, no matter how ludicrous....or how right the males posters opinions would be given weight because the complaintant was female?

I was relying on the intelligence of the readers to know that (as I also stated in my post) Mods make decision for good reasons. It should also therefore be implied that when we take complaints seriously, we will act accordingly on their merit and not simply on the gender of the complainant. But hey, if you don't like the decisions being made here you know where to take it.

Dragan wrote:

A reasonable answer would be appeciated...being told to "get over it for **** sake" can be replaced with silence if you don't feel the need to answer with a basic amount of manners.

Discussing this issue as opposed to taking the "woe is me" approach on your behalf would also have been more conducive to the topic at hand.

Dragan wrote:

Then again, the just might not be as empowered eh?:rolleyes:

Oh Lordy. Words fail me.

shellyboo

Fink Goddie wrote: »

In fairness to the blokes, if it was the other way round, women would go mad and wouldnt stand for it.

g'em wrote: »

If the women were complaining about being treated secondarily in a male-oriented forum they absolutely wouldn't have a leg to stand on either tbh.

Exactly. Off you go Fink and start a feedback thread on sexism and misogyny in BGRH and see how far you get.

"They call us 'wimmins' and expect us to make the rasher sandwiches the whole time... it's so sexist!" :rolleyes:



Give me a break. There are PLENTY of forum that prioritise the interests of their main demographic. PLENTY.

Fink Goddie

Here's the @ss licking and pack mentality i was talking about earlier. All the girls against the guy and all the thanks at the end of the posts from the girls.

Fink Goddie

shellyboo wrote: »

Exactly. Off you go Fink and start a feedback thread on sexism and misogyny in BGRH and see how far you get.

"They call us 'wimmins' and expect us to make the rasher sandwiches the whole time... it's so sexist!" :rolleyes:



Give me a break. There are PLENTY of forum that prioritise the interests of their main demographic. PLENTY.

There's plenty of girls that go on AH and complain about the humour etc on there and get people banned, but then its not ok for guys to have their view here. Come on!

Madame Razz

Fink Goddie wrote: »

There's plenty of girls that go on AH and complain about the humour etc on there and get people banned, but then its not ok for guys to have their view here. Come on!

But there are views and there are views. You may have the very best of intentions in your posting habits in these parts but a lot of men do not. A lot of men come in here to sleaze, to antagonise, to patronise and to do anything else that vexes as opposed to advise.

And THAT is what drives us wimmins nuts, and THAT is why many of us who were regular posters are not so anymore.

Oh, and I don't think you can equate AH to tLL tbh.

g'em

I don't want this to descend into chaos, but this thread has been resurrected and the main complainants (from what I can see) are guys. We made radical changes to tLL when the thread came about and, from what we can see, the forum became a better place for it.

We absolutely respect the opinions of everyone who posts here (those with good intentions anyway ) but men: please understand that he way tLL is Moderated now is a direct reflection of the feedback we received from women the target audience of the forum.

Women said: we don't mind men posting, but please don't let them take over the forum. Please give us somewhere we can post without fear of judgement and ridicule. This is what we are endeavoring to do. If the men feel hard done by then so be it, but here, the girls really do come first. That is what we're trying to accomodate.

D, I apologise if you felt I was being harsh or unmannerly, I was, as Xiney so succinctly put it, exasperated.

shellyboo

Fink Goddie wrote: »

There's plenty of girls that go on AH and complain about the humour etc on there and get people banned, but then its not ok for guys to have their view here. Come on!

Are there? I don't read AH, so I wouldn't know. Unless those same women are posting in here, I really have no idea what relevance this has to tLL. If you've got a problem with the moderation in AH, take it to helpdesk.

AH and tLL are different forums with different charters. Just because something happens in AH doesn't mean it's ok here, and vice versa.

And also, Fink... if you think we're a cliquish bunch of asslickers, why don't you follow my example and just stay out of the forum. If you don't read it, it can't annoy you.

JC 2K3

In fairness, this forum has turned into more than just a female forum. Half the topics aren't really all that related to women specifically, they're interesting topics on life, relationships, gender equality etc. Not too unlike the way the Nocturnal Forum turned into a 24/7 general social forum.

If this is a direction that the mods do not like, and these are topics that I'm not really supposed to post in, I won't.

But it's not fair to say that males are welcome, and then a few months later have someone make a post calling for "less boys", it being thanked by a lot of regulars and a mod appearing to support this sentiment.

Fink Goddie

shellyboo wrote: »

Are there? I don't read AH, so I wouldn't know. Unless those same women are posting in here, I really have no idea what relevance this has to tLL. If you've got a problem with the moderation in AH, take it to helpdesk.

AH and tLL are different forums with different charters. Just because something happens in AH doesn't mean it's ok here, and vice versa.

And also, Fink... if you think we're a cliquish bunch of asslickers, why don't you follow my example and just stay out of the forum. If you don't read it, it can't annoy you.

Maybe you should only reply to things you DO KNOW about then.

It doesnt annoy me because i'm not easily annoyed like some people . i just think its funny.

Make it women only if ya cant handle a bit of male banter!

Madame Razz

g'em wrote: »

I don't want this to descend into chaos, but this thread has been resurrected and the main complainants (from what I can see) are guys. We made radical changes to tLL when the thread came about and, from what we can see, the forum became a better place for it.

We absolutely respect the opinions of everyone who posts here (those with good intentions anyway ) but men: please understand that he way tLL is Moderated now is a direct reflection of the feedback we received from women the target audience of the forum.

Women said: we don't mind men posting, but please don't let them take over the forum. Please give us somewhere we can post without fear of judgement and ridicule. This is what we are endeavoring to do. If the men feel hard done by then so be it, but here, the girls really do come first. That is what we're trying to accomodate.

D, I apologise if you felt I was being harsh or unmannerly, I was, as Xiney so succinctly put it, exasperated.

I have no problem with men posting in the tLL AT ALL, as long as it's done in good spirit with a bit of respect and cop on.

The forum absolutely is a better place because of the changes that were made and I think the mods have done and are doing a fantastic job, and I'd like to thank them for their efforts.

MR.

shellyboo

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Maybe you should only reply to things you DO KNOW about then.

It doesnt annoy me because i'm not easily annoyed like some people . i just think its funny.

Make it women only if ya cant handle a bit of male banter!

No, Fink... don't come in here if you don't like the fact that there's no male banter. This is the way the forum is, because this is the way the users wanted it to be. End of.

And if you don't care, why are you in here stirring? There's a word for that, starts with tr- and ends with you getting banned again.

Macha

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Make it women only if ya cant handle a bit of male banter!

It's not about women not being able to "handle male banter". Full marks for trying to make it out that any tension is the woman's fault (after all, we just can't handle it).

I really enjoy male input (especially you Dragan ) here but am slightly irked that men get a totally OTT forum of BGRH where they can be as sexist as they like but any inkling of favouritism in here is apparently the height of ignorance.

It smacks of the old idea of women having to be the upholders of virtue and everything righteous and good.

Well, then again, favouritism isn't good...glad I'm not a mod!

g'em

JC 2K3 wrote: »

If this is a direction that the mods do not like, and these are topics that I'm not really supposed to post in, I won't.

It's not up to us to decide.

If the women, the target audience of this forum, do not like the direction the forum is heading in then we will act accordingly. But the most recent posts of complaint are from men, and until the women say differently we'll leave things as are.