out of interest

profun · 14-03-2009 4:31am #1

what do you think of people who sit down to wipe their ass?
i was stunned when i heard of such a thing last year. i just assumed that everyone performed this task standing! however i then conducted a drunken survey that evening and was amazed that in fact its split about 50/50. by the way people were very passionate about being a sitter or a stander and by the end of the night friendly banter had turned to nasty exchanges and people began to become segregated in their respective 'sitter' or 'stander' camps.
seriously though i don't get it. why do people do this sitting down? is it laziness or what? i mean there are problems of accessibility i would have thought. when ive finished my business i just stand up, wipe and get it over with. surely sitting prolongs the inevitable. thoughts are welcomed

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 4:35am

what. I never knew anyone sat to wipe. I must make up a little survey. How the feck can ya do it sitting down. Sure wouldnt yer side arse be in the way. And if ya go from the front ya might dig yourself in the nuts by mistake.
Sitting to wipe, tut tut. Whats the world coming to.
How are ya supposed to get enough strength to remove a lair of skin, to be sure like, if yer sitting.

profun · 14-03-2009 4:39am

yeah seany totally agree man.
i just couldnt believe it when this guy told me and then when i hit the streets looking for answers i was even more stunned when i found out how many sitters are out there. i mean how would they even know when theyre clean? surely there gonna be some bodily contact on the back or side after uve had a wipe and then need to see if u need to have another one.

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 4:43am

profun wrote: »

surely there gonna be some bodily contact on the back or side after uve had a wipe and then need to see if u need to have another one.

Ah jaysus, sure there must be some contact.
I must print out a few surveys for the pub tomorrow night and see what kinda smelly people I drink with. I am going to be all paranoid when I see people walking outta the jacks , just incase they have sh1t on side of leg syndrome.

profun · 14-03-2009 4:48am

seanybiker wrote: »

Ah jaysus, sure there must be some contact.
I must print out a few surveys for the pub tomorrow night and see what kinda smelly people I drink with. I am going to be all paranoid when I see people walking outta the jacks , just incase they have sh1t on side of leg syndrome.

ha yeah you just never know if your in the the proximity of a dirty sitter.
the fcuked up thing was they were amazed there were standers out there!! as if we were somehow the freaks here. were not the ones lounging on the toilet seat smearing bits of sh1t over ourselves

Hogzy · 14-03-2009 4:51am

WOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!:eek::eek::eek:

You guys STAND to wipe yer arses!!! I sit and aslouch over to one side while wiping, jaysus how small are yer toilets(or fat yer arses) to not be able to reach under! Iv never heard of someone standing, what if its a messy ****e and it requires prolonged wiping, surely yer legs would get tired quickly as i presume yer not in a full upright stance...

profun · 14-03-2009 4:53am

but yeah you should do one these surveys in the pub because something we encounter daily as people and yet are in the dark about humans behaviour and the reasons behind it. is is like writing with your left hand versus writing with your right? how do people make that sub conscious decision to become a sitter or a stander?

profun · 14-03-2009 4:55am

Hogzy wrote: »

WOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!:eek::eek::eek:

You guys STAND to wipe yer arses!!! I sit and aslouch over to one side while wiping, jaysus how small are yer toilets(or fat yer arses) to not be able to reach under! Iv never heard of someone standing, what if its a messy ****e and it requires prolonged wiping, surely yer legs would get tired quickly as i presume yer not in a full upright stance...

ah a sitter...
welcome.
why dont u just stand instead of slouching to one side? its easier and quicker. i kind of arch a small bit when standing. try it. u'll never remain seated again.

profun · 14-03-2009 4:58am

just added a pole by the way should sort the sitters from the standers

M450 · 14-03-2009 5:00am

Ah a good ol lean n scoop for me...

Ooh... 2 to 1 to the sitters.. booya!

Hogzy · 14-03-2009 5:01am

profun wrote: »

ah a sitter...
welcome.
why dont u just stand instead of slouching to one side? its easier and quicker. i kind of arch a small bit when standing. try it. u'll never remain seated again.

My ways have been adhered to for the last 21 years, but im intrigued to see what standing is like...

I speak for myself though when i say iv NEVER had any contact in all my life... Even drunk! Although you do have to be careful with your hand but im experienced in the field of wiping while sitting so its a simple task now!

Hogzy · 14-03-2009 5:02am

CUMMON THE SITTERS!!!!!

profun · 14-03-2009 5:07am

Hogzy wrote: »

My ways have been adhered to for the last 21 years, but im intrigued to see what standing is like...

I speak for myself though when i say iv NEVER had any contact in all my life... Even drunk! Although you do have to be careful with your hand but im experienced in the field of wiping while sitting so its a simple task now!

but thats the beauty of standing. no experience required. nothing can go wrong. u just rise, arch your ass out a bit and wipe away. total control.

although one guy told me of something called the 'hercules position' where after uve deposited u stand but then u put one foot on the seat of the toilet and begin to wipe, like a statue or something out of the roman empire. i swear i nearly shat mysef when he told me that. i couldnt belive what i had just heard.

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 5:38am

what the deuce is with ye two sitters. Get off the internet and learn how to wipe yer arse properly.
Standers FTW.
Hercules position sounds fun . Put yer leg on the toilet and look down at what you have just conquered with pride.
Any of ye ever do the AJ slater crap. Sit on the toilet backwards. Just google it. It seems to be a phenomenon of some sort.

M450 · 14-03-2009 5:49am

How can you see what you're doin back there by standing up??? I dont see any difference in having more or less control either way...

unless you're standing up with conveniently placed mirrors...

That would be interesting...

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 5:56am

M450 wrote: »

How can you see what you're doin back there by standing up??? I dont see any difference in having more or less control either way...

unless you're standing up with conveniently placed mirrors... That would be interesting...

Its not that hard. Tissue between arse cheeks is all.
Im getting worried about all these sitters to be honest. Must go to conspiracy forum and see why ye sit. Are ye the new world order or whatever they call it.

profun · 14-03-2009 5:58am

M450 wrote: »

How can you see what you're doin back there by standing up??? I dont see any difference in having more or less control either way...

unless you're standing up with conveniently placed mirrors... That would be interesting...

u can gain greater access and so once youve wiped you can then look, without the risk of contact, and see how the wipe went and approximately how many more its gonna take to finish the job.

profun · 14-03-2009 6:05am

seanybiker wrote: »

Any of ye ever do the AJ slater crap. Sit on the toilet backwards. Just google it. It seems to be a phenomenon of some sort.

just found it.

AJ Slater To sit backwards while on the toilet and taking a ****, just like AJ Slater did whenever he pulled up a chair when at "The Max"
I like to AJ Slater when I take a dump, that way I can prop a book up on the back of the toilet and read it

profun · 14-03-2009 6:07am

is that slater from saved by the bell hes talking about?

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 6:16am

profun wrote: »

is that slater from saved by the bell hes talking about?

Thats the man.

SoupyNorman · 14-03-2009 6:19am

seanybiker wrote: »

what the deuce is with ye two sitters. Get off the internet and learn how to wipe yer arse properly.
Standers FTW.
Hercules position sounds fun . Put yer leg on the toilet and look down at what you have just conquered with pride.
Any of ye ever do the AJ slater crap. Sit on the toilet backwards. Just google it. It seems to be a phenomenon of some sort.

It's AC Slatering

On the issue of wiping, you cant lump it into the either of categories mentioned:

For instance, you may fire out a sticky wet mess...should you stand up directly after you'll have a much bigger job on your hands.

I judge my wiping method on a case by case basis, saying you're either a stander or a sitter is like saying that life is divided into two catagories -
Fear and Love, and that dont fly with Donnie Darko so it dont fly with me.

profun · 14-03-2009 6:28am

bravestarr082 wrote: »

For instance, you may fire out a sticky wet mess...should you stand up directly after you'll have a much bigger job on your hands.

quote]

even if this happens then its even more reason not to sit around as the chances of contact have multiplied. you just stand a little bit more carefully, retaining control at all times by possibly even arching your ass more than usual and make sure you get an acurate, all-encompassing first wipe in to avoid anything unfortunate trickling onto the floor or seat.

seanybiker · 14-03-2009 6:31am

profun wrote: »

even if this happens then its even more reason not to sit around as the chances of contact have multiplied.

Another valid point. It seems us standers are better off intellectually.
To say you would have a bigger job on your hands goes to prove the sitters are lazy.

profun · 14-03-2009 6:36am

bravestarr082 wrote: »

I judge my wiping method on a case by case basis, saying you're either a stander or a sitter is like saying that life is divided into two catagories -
Fear and Love, and that dont fly with Donnie Darko so it dont fly with me.

altough, that is interesting that somehow you fall into both camps. even more interesting is how you you somehow managed to get donnie darko involved. respect for that. however i still believe a man is either a sitter or a stander. theres no middle ground. its like saying a ladyboy is both a man and a woman. clearly this cant be the case as it has a penis and is therefore a man no matter what its wearing or claiming (not)to have.

SoupyNorman · 14-03-2009 6:43am

profun wrote: »

altough, that is interesting that somehow you fall into both camps.

That is my main point, I go from a sitting to a standing position as circumstance
dictates.

profun wrote: »

however i still believe a man is either a sitter or a stander. theres no middle ground.

But your first point contradicts this and my method disproves it

profun wrote: »

its like saying a ladyboy is both a man and a woman. clearly this cant be the case as it has a penis and is therefore a man no matter what its wearing or claiming (not)to have.

It's not like saying that at all, many fat men have breasts and we dont call them gender confused....away with you, go watch Donnie Darko...AWAY!

Melted M&M · 14-03-2009 2:55pm

It's not like saying that at all, many fat men have breasts and we dont call them gender confused....away with you, go watch Donnie Darko...AWAY![/QUOTE]

M450 · 14-03-2009 4:37pm

I dont get the whole "contact" issue... It's as if you have the opinion that we sitters wipe our ass and drag the tissue around to the side to have a look!!

Lean 'n scoop! If you lean then there's no difference between that and standing... can't say I've ever suffered the inconvenience of "contact". Well, maybe as an infant

NoQuarter · 14-03-2009 8:47pm

I used to be a stander years ago but since converting to a sitter i would never go back, unless you have a big fat arse, which i surmise every stander does, then there is no risk of contact!

here is the problem with standing and why i dont do it:

while sitting your cheeks are more parted, however upon standing, the cheeks come closer together and therefore carry the risk that some chocolate might spread over more of the cheeks on compression!!

profun · 23-03-2009 3:53am

Standers Unite

Prof.Badass · 25-03-2009 2:32pm

M450 wrote: »

I dont get the whole "contact" issue... It's as if you have the opinion that we sitters wipe our ass and drag the tissue around to the side to have a look!!

:eek::eek::eek:WHAT:eek::eek::eek:????????????????????????????????????!!???!:eek::eek::eek:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!11111111111111111!????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!111?!?!?!?!?!?!?^&*(!!!!!!?!?!?!///!?!!!!!!!!567!!!!?!?!?!?!!!????!?!!!!?!!11111111!?!?!?!?!?!?11!??!?!??!11?!?!???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?ELEVENTY1111!!!!

you don't look after every wipe :eek::eek::eek:?

Then how do you know when you're done???

Sitters would have to drag up the paper to look at it and thus risk smearage on their leg :eek::eek::eek:!

Standers ftw!

Turd Ferguson · 25-03-2009 5:57pm

How can you guys stand when wiping? Its way easier to wipe sitting and when you sitting you have the cheeks spread open more so you get a good deep clean.

SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING SITTING

out of interest

are u a sitter or a stander? 18 votes

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