Elbows on tables = Bad Manners? What table "rules" should be ignored?

IvaBigWun

Ok so certain table manners are a given:

Talking with your mouth full = no

Throwing food at people after 4 bottles of wine = no

Talking with your mouth full whilst throwing food at people and simultaneously feeling up your mate's fiance under the table = no.

But elbows on tables?

Whats thats all about?

What other antiquated table "rules" dont you get?

Shiny

I would rather that someone had their elbows on the table rather than
shoving them in my ribs. :mad:

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I see it as a "Snobbery" rule, along with using the right fork and knife etc etc, cutting in a certain way, holding fork in left hand... bla bla bla, why would there be rules for how you eat. FCUK OFF ENGLAND!!! Really...

Having courtesy for others at a table is all you need. Don't fart or burp if you can help it. All the rest is made up bullsh!t to envisage royalty or some crap like that.

Having a hand job while eating corn on the cob

Pighead

That whole put your knife and fork together when you're finished your dinner gets Pighead blood boiling. Only recently became familiar with it and it's a pain in the pants. It's supposed to indicate that you've finished your meal yet surely the fact the food has all gone from the plate means that this has already been established. It's a rubbish rule.

acontadino

Veda Lemon Guy wrote: »

I see it as a "Snobbery" rule, along with using the right fork and knife etc etc, cutting in a certain way, holding fork in left hand... bla bla bla, why would there be rules for how you eat. FCUK OFF ENGLAND!!! Really...

Having courtesy for others at a table is all you need. Don't fart or burp if you can help it. All the rest is made up bullsh!t to envisage royalty or some crap like that.

the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

generalmiaow

I am right handed but hold the fork in my right hand. I use it far more anyway and my left hand isn't as strong. If I am eating steak I switch hands (hard to make that look polite, but it's possible).

Depends on the company obviously.

I'll also use my hands to eat certain foods, such as hamburgers inside buns (which are technically sandwiches)

papajimsmooth

Its rude to cut open a breadroll, you are supposed to rip it open.

Shiny

Pighead wrote: »

That whole put your knife and fork together when you're finished your dinner gets Pighead blood boiling. Only recently became familiar with it and it's a pain in the pants. It's supposed to indicate that you've finished your meal yet surely the fact the food has all gone from the plate means that this has already been established. It's a rubbish rule.

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

I once went to take someone plate that, as you said looked like all the
food had gone, and I got the face taken off me.

It makes a persons job ALOT easier not having to ask hundreds of people
every day "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished?".

If its in your own/friends house then it doesn't matter as much.

jester77

Yeah, I don't like people making comments about the way I eat :mad:
So what if my mam takes my plate, cuts all my meat, hides the vege in the mash, smothers everything with the specially requested gravy before I dig in with the big spoon that lies on the table.

Pighead

Shiny wrote: »

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

I once went to take someone plate that, as you said looked like all the
food had gone, and I got the face taken off me.

It makes a persons job ALOT easier not having to ask hundreds of people
every day "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished?".

If its in your own/friends house then it doesn't matter as much.

Ah c'mon. If a waiter hasn't got time to say "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished" well then he's not much of a waiter. A good waiter will tend to his tables needs, engage in frivolous chit-chat and most importantly try and give the impression that you are the most important person in the room!

Pighead respectfully puts it to you that you were/are a shit waiter.

994

Fork in left hand, knife in right. No concession made to southpaws!

Lobelia Overhill

Shiny wrote: »

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

Nor lived in my mother's house. I was eating my dinner one Christmas Day (when I was lickle) I put my fork down to look at the telly and when I turned back, plate gone. "I was eating that!"

"you put your fork down, that means you were finished eating"

Jaysus you'd think they'd give you a rule book like.

Thirdfox

Chopsticks ftw

ScumLord

I was over in the chambers beside the British high court of justice having lunch with a gang of lawyers and they did it. So I'm guessing it's ok.

alexandros

acontadino wrote: »

the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

I can't see how the Italians would be behind this one.
How the hell do you eat pizza with a knife and fork???

I blame a book called "Savoir Vivre" and thus the French.:p

Spaghetti with a spoon?.....................Go an ask me bollix.

*sluuuuurrrrrrrrrrp*

Kipperhell

Eating with your elbows on the table is dangerous, you could slip and ram a fork up your nose. That is the first piece of logic for the etiquette rule.

Many of the rules are similarly based on dangers e.g. knife in your mouth. The more complex rules were just to put the newly rich in their place.

holly1

Cant stand it when people start waving their knives and forks around when they are talking during a meal,or when they hold their knife and fork in one hand.

BaconZombie

I do not see anything wrong with using your hands to eat, but if I'm in a restaurant I say to the rule of only ever using one hand.


Have to agree with pighead on the placing your knife and fort together then your finished. If the waiter was following proper etiquette then he should not remove anyone's plate until everyone is finished eating.

IvaBigWun

BOFH_139 wrote: »

f the waiter was following proper etiquette then he should not remove anyone's plate until everyone is finished eating.

I have Caveman Etiquette if Im eating meat in restaurants.

If a waiter tries to remove my steak in pepper sauce before Im finished he gets stabbed to death with a steak knife and I eat him instead. Simple.

OldGoat

Kipperhell wrote: »

Eating with your elbows on the table is dangerous, you could slip and ram a fork up your nose. That is the first piece of logic for the etiquette rule.

Many of the rules are similarly based on dangers e.g. knife in your mouth. The more complex rules were just to put the newly rich in their place.

The rules of ettiquete as laid out first in DeBretts in the mid 1900's were devisied for and by the middle classes. The upper classes and the lower classes don't give a flying fnck about elbows on the table.
That makes me so very (lower)middle class as I tell the kids to Sit Up Straight, Use your Napkin, Champaigne goes in a champainge flute and not in the wine glass.

AnonoBoy

The staff know I'm finished when I'm eating out because I get up and stick the packaging in the bin before stacking the tray neatly on top.

Pfff.... waiters! :rolleyes:

Terry

I eat M&Ms with a spoon and use a knife and fork when I'm eating a snickers.

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?
I was at a wedding and there was 7 forks and 8 spoons. I used one spoon and one fork.

ScumLord

Terry wrote: »

I eat M&Ms with a spoon and use a knife and fork when I'm eating a snickers.

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?
I was at a wedding and there was 7 forks and 8 spoons. I used one spoon and one fork.

They're free ones to take home with you.

Busi_Girl08

I put my napkin on the plate when I'm finished.

Does that mean I am savvy in social dining etiquette, or does that reserve the waiter the right to gag me with said napkin and slap me over the head with the plate and stab me with the remaining cutlery and shove the flower arrangement one the table up me arse?

Gone Drinking

Elbows on the table, fine, whatever, the way you leave your plates etc, fine, i don't care..

but when i see someone holding a knife and fork like a boxer with gloves on, and eating from the far side of the plate inwards, i just think to myself "do they know how retarded that looks.."

OldGoat

Terry wrote: »

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?

Sporks!! http://lightmyfireusa.com/spork.html

Gone Drinking

I know a guy called Spooner who was caught scratching his itchy arsehole with a spoon whilst away with school.. I'd imagine that's what one of those 8 spoons is for at a fancy restaurant.

sagat

Mum always gave me **** for licking my plate.

"Did I teach you no manners? You better not behave like that when you are out with other people!"

sagat

sagat wrote: »

Mum always gave me **** for licking my plate.

"Did I teach you no manners? You better not behave like that when you are out with other people!"

your mum always gave you dick for licking your plate?

asdasd

I've seen English people gently push some peas onto the downfacing fork - held in the left hand- with a knife and hope for the best as they bring them up.

On average they get about two peas every go.

allabouteve

acontadino wrote: »

the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.

I hate when people throw an unused napkin into the sauce remnants on their plates. What a waste.

Eoin

AARRRGH wrote: »

If you've ever worked with a bunch of down syndrome folk, you'll know as soon as one of them starts masturbating they all go at it.

This has happened to me while we were all at a table during dinner.

Jesus, you get drunk once at the work Christmas party, and you never hear the end of it...

asdasd

As far as I recall eoin, you've done that a lot more than once.

Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.

Hmm, they dont seem to follow these silly rules nowadays, though.

allabouteve

asdasd wrote: »

Hmm, they dont seem to follow these silly rules nowadays, though.

The one's I know do, just to make life complicated.

FlutterinBantam

Spare me form those cnunts who hold a knife and and fork like a pen.

All these rules are there for a reason, like you don't shift on to one cheek and unload a ripper at a wedding.

Just not done.

FruitLover

papajimsmooth wrote: »

Its rude to cut open a breadroll, you are supposed to rip it open.

While beating your chest.

ukraine_orange

alexander.t wrote: »

How the hell do you eat pizza with a knife and fork???

It's quite easy...

BOFH_139 wrote: »

I do not see anything wrong with using your hands to eat, but if I'm in a restaurant I say to the rule of only ever using one hand.

That does depend on what the food is, though. I wouldn't start eating spaghetti with my hands. But I'd maybe eat Pizza with my hands (if I was in the right mood :P)

FruitLover wrote: »

While beating your chest.

LOL.

UnderpantsGnome

I fully believe in/agree with this rule, that's it's rude to have your elbows on the table, but I always find my elbows ending up on the f*cking thing!

In public I'm always going "F*ck, take them off" and remove them from the table but in private I let my eyes linger on them and think to myself "Why do I seem to always have my elbows on the table? It's something I agree is rude, yet my elbows always end up there. Are they staging their own type of protest at the rules of polite society? Should I be worried?" and end up leaving them there because if I took them off they'd only wind up back on the table again.

misty floyd

Waiting for everybody at the table to receive their dinner before you eat yours is dumb. The person waiting for their dinner feels stupid and everyone's dinner is going cold.
Its funny looking when one person that doesn't know this dumb rule starts their dinner, shoves food in, looks up and realises nobody else is eating. They then put their knife and fork down and chew trying not to be noticed. Annoys me but I still follow this if out on a work thing or out with people I might not know.

Zillah

Pighead wrote: »

Ah c'mon. If a waiter hasn't got time to say "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished" well then he's not much of a waiter. A good waiter will tend to his tables needs, engage in frivolous chit-chat and most importantly try and give the impression that you are the most important person in the room!

Pighead respectfully puts it to you that you were/are a shit waiter.

I don't want a waiter to bother me with unnecessary questions. Ideally we would use some sort of non-intrusive telepathy for him to understand my wishes. By putting my knife and fork together I can get one step closer to such communication and one less reason to have the help engage me in conversation. There are similar traditions around the world. For example, in China when your tea pot is empty you put it near the side of the table and put the lid slightly off centre. Moments later a fresh pot of tea will silently appear. It's an efficient system, don't rock the boat you barbarian.

GirlInterrupted

allabouteve wrote: »

Doesn't surprise me, bloody italians.

I hate when people throw an unused napkin into the sauce remnants on their plates. What a waste.

Careful.

To preserve an unused napkin is considered rude because it implies the host or hostess cannot afford, or would prefer to avoid laundry costs.

Its considered rude to place your elbows on the table because you may jog your neighbour beside you as they use their knife.

Its considered rude to turn your fork because you'll have to open your mouth wider to accommodate it, and no-one wants to see your tonsils.

Its rude to cut your roll, rather than tear it, because the knife provided is for spreading butter, and its considered overkill to provide two knives.

Italians often forgo the use of a sideplate for bread, as the naipery is changed with every meal anyway.

Its rude to lick your knife because you may cause injury to yourself and ruin everyone else's meal.

Most rules of manners are rooted in common sense, a few are simply ridiculous.

Aidric

It's difficult to get through a full sitting without putting your elbows on the table at some point, so I don't bother trying.

pickarooney

In France it's not done to cut bread as it's akin to stabbing the body of Jesus. It's fine to tear it limb from limb though.

useful_contacts

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Careful.

To preserve an unused napkin is considered rude because it implies the host or hostess cannot afford, or would prefer to avoid laundry costs.

Its considered rude to place your elbows on the table because you may jog your neighbour beside you as they use their knife.

Its considered rude to turn your fork because you'll have to open your mouth wider to accommodate it, and no-one wants to see your tonsils.

Its rude to cut your roll, rather than tear it, because the knife provided is for spreading butter, and its considered overkill to provide two knives.

Italians often forgo the use of a sideplate for bread, as the naipery is changed with every meal anyway.

Its rude to lick your knife because you may cause injury to yourself and ruin everyone else's meal.

Most rules of manners are rooted in common sense, a few are simply ridiculous.

i do this- at home and in restaurants and i dont care

what they gonna do throw me out?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

What the hell kind of knife do you use? I wouldn't lick a steak knife or a stanley knife... but most would use a blunt butter knife... so yea I always lick my knife

MIN2511

I have eaten with some really messy lads and etiquette is quite important! Some eat with their hands and mouth... food everywhere, talking with food in their mouth... Not conscious of food on their lips/teeth.....

I am no saint but some basic etiquette is needed!
Elbow on the table, i really try to do that but i forget... I always close my cutlery...

TPD

Anyone remember Nando's? The 'Do's and Don'ts of Etiquette' were great. Basically telling you to be a loud rude cnut at the table. Excellent food too.

JerryHandbag

I used to go out with a girl who basically told me I was mentally ill because I never heard about this 'knife & fork together after eating' codswallop....my parents never taught me this crap because I would imagine they were quietly grateful just to have a meal in front of them rather than worrying what exact position on the plate to put the cutlery after eating.....its upper class toffee-nosed snobbery of the damndest....so in memory of my ex (no shes not dead....yet) I make a point of putting my knife and fork as far away from each other as possible on the plate, the 'quarter past 9' position, so to speak. That'll learn the bitch. :P

Eoin

Aidric wrote: »

It's difficult to get through a full sitting without putting your elbows on the table at some point, so I don't bother trying.

It's only rude while eating. Between courses etc, it doesn't matter.