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Elbows on tables = Bad Manners? What table "rules" should be ignored?

IvaBigWun

Ok so certain table manners are a given:

Talking with your mouth full = no

Throwing food at people after 4 bottles of wine = no

Talking with your mouth full whilst throwing food at people and simultaneously feeling up your mate's fiance under the table = no.

But elbows on tables?

Whats thats all about?

What other antiquated table "rules" dont you get?

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Shiny

I would rather that someone had their elbows on the table rather than
shoving them in my ribs. :mad:

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I see it as a "Snobbery" rule, along with using the right fork and knife etc etc, cutting in a certain way, holding fork in left hand... bla bla bla, why would there be rules for how you eat. FCUK OFF ENGLAND!!! Really...

Having courtesy for others at a table is all you need. Don't fart or burp if you can help it. All the rest is made up bullsh!t to envisage royalty or some crap like that.

[Deleted User]

Having a hand job while eating corn on the cob

Pighead

That whole put your knife and fork together when you're finished your dinner gets Pighead blood boiling. Only recently became familiar with it and it's a pain in the pants. It's supposed to indicate that you've finished your meal yet surely the fact the food has all gone from the plate means that this has already been established. It's a rubbish rule.

acontadino

Veda Lemon Guy wrote: »

I see it as a "Snobbery" rule, along with using the right fork and knife etc etc, cutting in a certain way, holding fork in left hand... bla bla bla, why would there be rules for how you eat. FCUK OFF ENGLAND!!! Really...

Having courtesy for others at a table is all you need. Don't fart or burp if you can help it. All the rest is made up bullsh!t to envisage royalty or some crap like that.

the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

generalmiaow

I am right handed but hold the fork in my right hand. I use it far more anyway and my left hand isn't as strong. If I am eating steak I switch hands (hard to make that look polite, but it's possible).

Depends on the company obviously.

I'll also use my hands to eat certain foods, such as hamburgers inside buns (which are technically sandwiches)

papajimsmooth

Its rude to cut open a breadroll, you are supposed to rip it open.

Shiny

Pighead wrote: »

That whole put your knife and fork together when you're finished your dinner gets Pighead blood boiling. Only recently became familiar with it and it's a pain in the pants. It's supposed to indicate that you've finished your meal yet surely the fact the food has all gone from the plate means that this has already been established. It's a rubbish rule.

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

I once went to take someone plate that, as you said looked like all the
food had gone, and I got the face taken off me.

It makes a persons job ALOT easier not having to ask hundreds of people
every day "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished?".

If its in your own/friends house then it doesn't matter as much.

jester77

Yeah, I don't like people making comments about the way I eat :mad:
So what if my mam takes my plate, cuts all my meat, hides the vege in the mash, smothers everything with the specially requested gravy before I dig in with the big spoon that lies on the table.

Pighead

Shiny wrote: »

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

I once went to take someone plate that, as you said looked like all the
food had gone, and I got the face taken off me.

It makes a persons job ALOT easier not having to ask hundreds of people
every day "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished?".

If its in your own/friends house then it doesn't matter as much.

Ah c'mon. If a waiter hasn't got time to say "Excuse me Pighead, are you finished" well then he's not much of a waiter. A good waiter will tend to his tables needs, engage in frivolous chit-chat and most importantly try and give the impression that you are the most important person in the room!

Pighead respectfully puts it to you that you were/are a shit waiter.

994

Fork in left hand, knife in right. No concession made to southpaws!

Lobelia Overhill

Shiny wrote: »

haha, you clearly have never worked as a waiter.

Nor lived in my mother's house. I was eating my dinner one Christmas Day (when I was lickle) I put my fork down to look at the telly and when I turned back, plate gone. "I was eating that!"

"you put your fork down, that means you were finished eating"

Jaysus you'd think they'd give you a rule book like.

Thirdfox

Chopsticks ftw

ScumLord

I was over in the chambers beside the British high court of justice having lunch with a gang of lawyers and they did it. So I'm guessing it's ok.

alexandros

acontadino wrote: »

the guy that actually came up with all this crap was some italian chap, wrote some book hundreds of years ago about etiquette(?)

I can't see how the Italians would be behind this one.
How the hell do you eat pizza with a knife and fork???

I blame a book called "Savoir Vivre" and thus the French.:p

[Deleted User]

Spaghetti with a spoon?.....................Go an ask me bollix.

*sluuuuurrrrrrrrrrp*

Kipperhell

Eating with your elbows on the table is dangerous, you could slip and ram a fork up your nose. That is the first piece of logic for the etiquette rule.

Many of the rules are similarly based on dangers e.g. knife in your mouth. The more complex rules were just to put the newly rich in their place.

holly1

Cant stand it when people start waving their knives and forks around when they are talking during a meal,or when they hold their knife and fork in one hand.

BaconZombie

I do not see anything wrong with using your hands to eat, but if I'm in a restaurant I say to the rule of only ever using one hand.

Have to agree with pighead on the placing your knife and fort together then your finished. If the waiter was following proper etiquette then he should not remove anyone's plate until everyone is finished eating.

IvaBigWun

BOFH_139 wrote: »

f the waiter was following proper etiquette then he should not remove anyone's plate until everyone is finished eating.

I have Caveman Etiquette if Im eating meat in restaurants.

If a waiter tries to remove my steak in pepper sauce before Im finished he gets stabbed to death with a steak knife and I eat him instead. Simple.

OldGoat

Kipperhell wrote: »

Eating with your elbows on the table is dangerous, you could slip and ram a fork up your nose. That is the first piece of logic for the etiquette rule.

Many of the rules are similarly based on dangers e.g. knife in your mouth. The more complex rules were just to put the newly rich in their place.

The rules of ettiquete as laid out first in DeBretts in the mid 1900's were devisied for and by the middle classes. The upper classes and the lower classes don't give a flying fnck about elbows on the table.
That makes me so very (lower)middle class as I tell the kids to Sit Up Straight, Use your Napkin, Champaigne goes in a champainge flute and not in the wine glass.

AnonoBoy

The staff know I'm finished when I'm eating out because I get up and stick the packaging in the bin before stacking the tray neatly on top.

Pfff.... waiters! :rolleyes:

Terry

I eat M&Ms with a spoon and use a knife and fork when I'm eating a snickers.

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?
I was at a wedding and there was 7 forks and 8 spoons. I used one spoon and one fork.

ScumLord

Terry wrote: »

I eat M&Ms with a spoon and use a knife and fork when I'm eating a snickers.

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?
I was at a wedding and there was 7 forks and 8 spoons. I used one spoon and one fork.

They're free ones to take home with you.

Busi_Girl08

I put my napkin on the plate when I'm finished.

Does that mean I am savvy in social dining etiquette, or does that reserve the waiter the right to gag me with said napkin and slap me over the head with the plate and stab me with the remaining cutlery and shove the flower arrangement one the table up me arse?

Gone Drinking

Elbows on the table, fine, whatever, the way you leave your plates etc, fine, i don't care..

but when i see someone holding a knife and fork like a boxer with gloves on, and eating from the far side of the plate inwards, i just think to myself "do they know how retarded that looks.."

OldGoat

Terry wrote: »

What's the deal with all the spoons and forks?

Sporks!! http://lightmyfireusa.com/spork.html

Gone Drinking

I know a guy called Spooner who was caught scratching his itchy arsehole with a spoon whilst away with school.. I'd imagine that's what one of those 8 spoons is for at a fancy restaurant.

sagat

Mum always gave me **** for licking my plate.

"Did I teach you no manners? You better not behave like that when you are out with other people!"

[Deleted User]

sagat wrote: »

Mum always gave me **** for licking my plate.

"Did I teach you no manners? You better not behave like that when you are out with other people!"

your mum always gave you dick for licking your plate?