Where are all the men??

laurak265

Hey all,

I'm a bit fed of late. Can't seem to find any decent men!! Can anyone tell me where would be a good place to men nice men..by nice i mean good looking and good conversation.

Recently went out with some girlfriends for some drinks. Had an asshole come over to us and sat down. Basically had a big mouth and wouldn't leave our table...we had to leave to get away from him :mad: He stood up at one point and started telling guys walking by to keep walking we were his!!!!!! :mad::mad: None of the guys walking by caught our eye anyway but this jerk really got on my nerves..just one example of whats out there.

One of my gfs met a guy and they have been texting. He asked her to the cinema and insisted on picking her up and paying for everything. They enjoyed their meet and had a kiss when he dropped her home. Told her he'd text her and half and hr later he did. 2 Days later he told her he wasn't available for more dates cos he didn't want a relationship but wanted to continue texting her!! WTF

Just have no faith in love anymore!!!

minidazzler

You will never find love when looking for it!!!


Also, all the men are in Cavan, everyone of them, so your Sh1t out of luck in Wicklow.


But really, At least 75% of the lads I know have GF's so that's where they are, with their GF's!!!


And another worse one, my main group of friends, the Lads, there are 7 of us all together, out of that 7, 5 have GF's, and 2 don't. I am one of those 2. I am going out monday night with the lads, on the razz nice and proper. but this is our first time going out, all of us, in 6 month's!!!

So that's where all the lads are, with their God Damn girlfriends!!! :D

I want to know where all the nice, non-crazy females are!!! Every girl I have scored, dated, or gone out with over the past year have been a bit off!!!

bogzilla

hi op.

i'd like to think i'm in the same boat as you. male, relatively attractive and always enjoy a good bit of decent conversation with the opposite sex! but alas i can't seem to find any decent girls out about the town [ones that i'm interested in anyway!]

i know a few girls that i'd be seriously into but they have long term bf's. seems the nice ones are gone off the market ages ago. most times i approach girls in a club i get the distinct impression they're doing me an enormous favour even listening to me so now i'm pretty selective and only approach the ones that don't seem drunk or snobbish.

in terms of what you mentioned above, i usually find that the alpha male type is [generally] the only type that would approach a group of 5 or 6 girls at a table in a club. i know i certainly wouldn't. not because you're not attractive and interesting but because guys can find that thing difficult. you don't see many women approaching tables of guys chatting them up so in many cases the same applies the other way around.

in summary, i don't think clubs / pubs are the best ways to meet somebody, usually it's hard to chat to them cos everybody is hammered and the place can be a bit manic.

i certainly agree it is difficult out there but i ain't giving up!

adieu.

bog.

laurak265

Well i don't necessarily want love right now..it would just be an added bonus!

Lol yeah the nice guys seem to have already have girlfriends :rolleyes: I seem to have been too slow lol

No men in wicklow or kildare i'm on the border and have have checked out both..lmao!

minidazzler

laurak265 wrote: »

Well i don't necessarily want love right now..it would just be an added bonus!

Lol yeah the nice guys seem to have already have girlfriends :rolleyes: I seem to have been too slow lol

No men in wicklow or kildare i'm on the border and have have checked out both..lmao!

Are you saying I'm not nice?:D

laurak265

bogzilla wrote: »

hi op.

i'd like to think i'm in the same boat as you. male, relatively attractive and always enjoy a good bit of decent conversation with the opposite sex! but alas i can't seem to find any decent girls out about the town [ones that i'm interested in anyway!]

i know a few girls that i'd be seriously into but they have long term bf's. seems the nice ones are gone off the market ages ago. most times i approach girls in a club i get the distinct impression they're doing me an enormous favour even listening to me so now i'm pretty selective and only approach the ones that don't seem drunk or snobbish.

in terms of what you mentioned above, i usually find that the alpha male type is [generally] the only type that would approach a group of 5 or 6 girls at a table in a club. i know i certainly wouldn't. not because you're not attractive and interesting but because guys can find that thing difficult. you don't see many women approaching tables of guys chatting them up so in many cases the same applies the other way around.

in summary, i don't think clubs / pubs are the best ways to meet somebody, usually it's hard to chat to them cos everybody is hammered and the place can be a bit manic.

i certainly agree it is difficult out there but i ain't giving up!

adieu.

bog.

Yeah i agree...girls can be snobs and i suppose the odd time i have been too but only to an ass i promise!

I think there needs to be speed dating or something on a regular basis...I don't trust internet dating...prefer gace to face and a bit of chat to find a spark!

Fingers crossed for us all....X

laurak265

minidazzler wrote: »

Are you saying I'm not nice?:D

Oh your loverly! But alas you live in Cork!!

aoibhebree

Don't give up hope yet!! I know two girls (they don't know each other), one 33 and one 35, both of whom were in relationships from their late teens for most of their twenties, one of whom got engaged. In both cases, the relationships broke up a few years ago for various reasons. I'm close to both of these girls, and was their no.1 cheerleader as they resumed the whole dating thing over the last few years, but they'd pretty much given up hope of ever finding decent guys. But, totally unrelatedly, they both met really nice guys over Christmas - when they weren't even looking, in both cases - and both relationships are going really well (Yes, it's early days yet, but I'm an optimist!!!)

Just go out there and have fun!! I know it's a cliche, but you really are a lot more likely to find your guy if you're not actively looking for him.

Don't give up hope

jaffa20

Sorry but....

Placid_Casual

My god, but there does seem to be an awful lot of "Why are there no decent men/ Why are women bitches when you try to talk to them in clubs" type threads.
As a semi-permanent single guy, i've just given up thinking or worrying about it and I seem to have an easier time meeting girls because of it. Not the right one yet but she will come along. Over-analysing (and this goes for just about anything) is the enemy. It took me years to figure that out.

Wazdakka

jaffa20 wrote: »

Sorry but....

Kudos..

I loled

gaeilgegrinds

I think by looking for love one is their own worst enemy...I want love but figure by going on dates the worst that can happen is I meet new friends. He/she is out there somewhere, enjoy the journey!

banshee_bones

I sat outside a prominent pub in Galway today for two hours drinking with three lady friends and unashamadly "talent spotting"

We came to the conclusion that there is no talent/men in Galway. Least not today! Sorry OP I think they culd all be in collective hiding somewhere? :pac:

Placid_Casual

banshee_bones wrote: »

I sat outside a prominent pub in Galway today for two hours drinking with three lady friends and unashamadly "talent spotting"

We came to the conclusion that there is no talent/men in Galway. Least not today! Sorry OP I think they culd all be in collective hiding somewhere? :pac:

Move to Dublin so. We're all hot, honest.

banshee_bones

Placid_Casual wrote: »

Move to Dublin so. We're all hot, honest.

Il get my coat!

galwayguy22

I'm forever single but wouldn't mind a date. I'm originally from the south east, near enough to Wicklow. I'm back home most weekends so maybe we could meet up and go for a meal or something.

I'm below average looking and not too good on conversation.

PM me.

Placid_Casual

galwayguy22 wrote: »

I'm forever single but wouldn't mind a date. I'm originally from the south east, near enough to Wicklow. I'm back home most weekends so maybe we could meet up and go for a meal or something.

I'm below average looking and not too good on conversation.

PM me.

Way to sell yourself.

Nothingcompares

Do you think it's possible that due to over exposure to the 1% of the human population who are extremely attractive (through film, television, magazines etc.) average looking people don't find other average looking people attractive?

There has been books and paintings telling and showing attractive people for centuries but it's only in the last 100 years (you could narrow that down to 40) has technology allowed beautiful men and women to be shown to entire populations.

Like if we were sitting in a bar and I asked you to rate a man out of 10 for looks would 10 be the most beautiful man in the planet (Brad Pitt, clooney, who ever you consider the ultimate) or would 10 be the best looking bloke you've seen in real life in the last couple of years? (the underlining assumption being the famous movie star/model is still much more attractive then a very good looking person you meet in the pub).

Galvasean

galwayguy22

Galvasean wrote: »

I've spent a good few minutes looking for Wally now, only to realize I totally forget what Wally looks like.

Galvasean

galwayguy22 wrote: »

I've spent a good few minutes looking for Wally now, only to realize I totally forget what Wally looks like.

edit: thats him on the left

bennyblanco

He's kind of like Elijah Wood in Sin City before he got into killing and eating prostitutes:D


I'm below average looking and not too good on conversation.
I lol'd,fair play:D

It seems to me you only find what your after when you stop looking.
Do you ever approach guys yourself OP?
(Please don't take this the wrong way,as I love irish women but....)
I've often found them alot less approachable than their foreign sisters.
Alot of guys are not willing to risk the ignominy that can sometimes result from such a venture (as bogzilla mentioned) or perhaps they just lack the confidence.
From all the threads I've read it certainly seems to me that from a female perspective pubs and (night)clubs arent the way forward.
I think there's alot to what Nothingcompares said too.
I'm sure if you don't fret over it and just do your thing that you'll encounter your leading man somewhere along the line.
Try and enjoy the journey:)
Good luck

Blitzkrieger

laurak265 wrote: »

Can anyone tell me where would be a good place to men nice men

If I had a penny for every time I've heard that......I'd have about a buck-fitty...

I'm long-term *single myself and I keep hearing that. I'm amazed when I hear it from women because every time I'm out with the lads I find myself in the middle of a sausage factory listening to moans of "Where are all the women?"

At this point I'd usually type out some long anecdote which I think is amusing and illustrates my point but actually serves to confuse people. Basically, I think our "dating culture" in Ireland is fundamentally flawed. Sometimes I wish we were one of those cultures who are reviving the match-maker traditions.

The best advice I've received is to get your friends who are in relationships to set you up with friends of their other half. The supposed advantages are they will know something about your likes and interests and their friend probably won't turn out to be a serial killer. I've been the victim of this once though and she turned out to be **dull as dish-water.







*Combination of a nasty accident involving an ugly tree and a mental age of 10.
**I'm known as Mr. Excitement myself...

Nevyn

http://www.goldenpages.ie/search/ireland/decent_men.html :P

jellie

ive come to the conclusion that theres no point looking for men. any relationships ive had have all started randomly when i was just drifting along not expecting anything.

i think the best thing to do is just enjoy whats happening in your life & not get caught up thinking "i wish i had a boy". its not always easy, but if you spend your life looking for a man you might forget to live it

(im feeling all full of wisdom this morning :P)

also - i reckon men sense desperation. if youre happy in yourself & your life youre probably more attractive.

super_furry

Already been done.

Most people making these kind of threads either have abnormally high standards or sit around all day waiting to be approached.

Wibbs

They're everywhere. 50% of the population. I got to be frank here, when men or women say where are all the men/women gone, I do roll my eyes a bit. We've rarely in history been exposed as much to the opposite sex on a daily basis than today, or have had more avenues to meet people and potential romantic partners.

You do have to look, or at least expose yourself to more social situations, where you'll meet people. I think leaving it up to fate, while romantic and all that, narrows your odds. I think both genders have advantages and disadvantages. Women have the advantage that they are in general the "pursued", but of course that's also their disadvantage. Men on the opposite side have their role as an advantage or disadvantage.

Be more approachable. The gregarious and approachable women have more luck with men, regardless of looks. Men are more visual as far as attraction goes so keep an eye on that aspect. Get clothes that suit you etc.

Approach men. Play with the stereotype of pursued and pursuer.

Basically its an odds game, for both genders. The more you meet, the more your odds of meeting the right person for you go up.

Attractive people of either gender are at a premium. They don't stay single for long and have more choices open to them. Anyone can make themselves more attractive and increase their choices too. It's not the size of your wallet or the size of your arse that's stopping you either. Some of the most successful men and women I've known in the dating game and who have the most choices are either broke men or big girls.


The biggy is though, what do you want in someone? If you don't have a fair idea there and instead base it on "oh Ill just know", then you'll be again relying on luck. Are you turning down men that you shouldnt be?

homerun_homer

Thaedydal wrote: »

http://www.goldenpages.ie/search/ireland/decent_men.html :P

Yeah but I have also noticed this

Wibbs

super_furry wrote: »

Most people making these kind of threads either have abnormally high standards or sit around all day waiting to be approached.

or have no clue what they're looking for or think they want.

sar84 wrote:

also - i reckon men sense desperation. if youre happy in yourself & your life youre probably more attractive.

I agree. Desperation in both genders is a turn off(though I think its worse for men). What it basically tells the other person is that you don't see your own value and that others dont either, so why should they? If you're attractive to yourself, then you'll be attractive to others. Pretty much guaranteed.

Nevyn

Yes but that can backfire as well as they think you are not intrested in a relationship or presume you are already in one.

Nevyn

Wibbs wrote: »

The biggy is though, what do you want in someone?

I think a bigger question is why you want 'someone' at lot of these threads
seem to be about finding 'anyone'.

SJPRogue

These threads get terribly dodgy....

Been in too many long term relationships.... even married once....

My only conclusion: have some members of the opposite sex for good friends. Pick 2/3 to breed & have babies with but DONT settle with them or move in together... at all costs stay apart.

Men & women just arent suited in that way.

Don't get me wrong - I have more female friends than male - but when it comes to 'love' & all the strange ideas that people have when it comes to it - well, i'd prefer to be left on my tod.

That way I won't wreck their heads - & I know I can wreck heads with the best of them - & they won't wreck mine.

Wibbs

exactly. OK we're a social animal and we need to pair bond to reproduce so that's there, but you're dead right. People would rather have anyone than the right one. I honestly can't see the reason to be in a relationship that isnt adding to or growing me as a person. I certainly wouldn't want second best just to say I have a partner. Far too many do. Far to many judge themselves on whether they have a relationship. I would say women are worse for that too. yes men judge themselves on how many they can pull, but less so realtionship wise.

Dragan

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think a bigger question is why you want 'someone' at lot of these threads
seem to be about finding 'anyone'.

Don't forget the second predominant factor in all these threads, they kind of want to find anyone but are making no effort.

Most of the time.

I think Ireland is truly past the pub being the place to meet up days and people will need to be slightly more daring. Girls want confident men, willing to brave a challenge and all that....well blokes don't want a shrinking violet either.

SJPRogue

Wibbs wrote: »

exactly. OK we're a social animal and we need to pair bond to reproduce so that's there, but you're dead right. People would rather have anyone than the right one. I honestly can't see the reason to be in a relationship that isnt adding to or growing me as a person. I certainly wouldn't want second best just to say I have a partner. Far too many do. Far to many judge themselves on whether they have a relationship. I would say women are worse for that too. yes men judge themselves on how many they can pull, but less so realtionship wise.

Hit the nail on the head...

PEople bring so much expectation into a relationship, it either handicaps it or builds the relationship on false perceptions.

If you've found a soul-mate, great for you. But i'm not going to settle for the sake of it or for what others might think. Yes, I want to have kids & look after them, but there are many ways in which to do that then the old nuclear family model we seem to have decided is the end all & be all of our existence.

I've reached a very happy point in life.... I know I'm gonna wreck heads so I'm honest about it... I'm also honest about how potential partners are gonna wreck my head.... Keeps things simple, cuts out alot of bull.

banshee_bones

I think there is some fantastic common sense being disperesed here and the "i want a boyyyyyyyfriendd/giiiiirlfriend" whiners should sit up and take note.

Nail has been hit on the head, nobody should settle and they would also do well to keep in mind their personal motivations for wanting another half.

nomorebadtown

laurak265 wrote: »

good conversation.

bogzilla wrote: »

enjoy a good bit of decent conversation with the opposite sex!

see the thing is, lady and gentleman, you're not actually looking for good conversation at all. if you wanted good conversation, sex, age and looks would be irrelevant. what you are in fact looking for is someone to bone / someone to be a doner of genetic material. i'd imagine once people begin starting threads asking "where are all the decent men", they are probably getting very frustrated and/or desperate - and these qualities are the worlds most effective decent man repellent.

Niamho!

laurak265 wrote: »

Well i don't necessarily want love right now..it would just be an added bonus!

Lol yeah the nice guys seem to have already have girlfriends :rolleyes: I seem to have been too slow lol

No men in wicklow or kildare i'm on the border and have have checked out both..lmao!

jesus don't bother coming to Dublin either, that certainly won't help your problem. pfft.

Niamho!

D'ya know what it is though?...

I'm at my most confident on a night out, and i'd imagine most girls are the same, because you make more effort going out for drinks, You've done your slap and you've a nice get up on.

I honestly couldn't see myself pulling in an every day situation, i suppose thats my own fault for being lazy and not putting in as much effort.

Walking the dog or in a dance class or the gym for example....It just wouldn't happen and i can't be arsed dolling myself up to do any of those things.

Rant over.

SJPRogue

..................just not getting it.........

............*sigh*.......................

Wibbs

nomorebadtown wrote: »

see the thing is, lady and gentleman, you're not actually looking for good conversation at all. if you wanted good conversation, sex, age and looks would be irrelevant. what you are in fact looking for is someone to bone / someone to be a doner of genetic material

True enough. The genitals by way of potential reproductive fitness are what rules for the most part. Yes some may dress it up in romance and such, but that's what it boils down to and women are just as bad as men for this if not worse indeed. They dress it up better though. I've known far more men to leave a woman they're hot for because she was an abusive nutjob, than the other way around. If a woman mate of mine asks me advice about a guy she says is bad for her(even abusive) and wants to leave, I listen and try to help and all that, but I also ask her "do you still fancy him". If she says yes, 9 times outa ten she'll be back with him, regardless of the situation or advice. Until she stops fancying him or someone comes along she fancies more. I have known some men to do that, but not nearly to the same degree. They're usually younger men who reckon they're operating out of their "league". I have been honestly shocked by how much some women, seriously attractive and clever women too who take crap from guys they have the hots for and how quick they'll bale the second they lose that, though nothing else has changed. Maybe because women have more invested and more to lose once they make a decision about a bloke?

Unfortunately just because you're compatible that way it certainly doesnt mean you're actually compatible as people. I'd even say more often than not it doesn't. Hence the amount of relationships you see that go pear shaped at the 2/3 year mark when the wobbly bits cool off and they are dealing with each other as individuals and not just lovers. A lot stay because of shared experience or assets or just out of fear of looking elsewhere. I had a mate of mine who was torn between two guys and I said there was aother option, look for another that you won't be torn and her response was that she was tired of looking and just wanted to settle down. Mad. I can predict she wont be happy. Guarantee it in fact.

An uncle of mine gave me good advice years ago on this. He said "If you fancy someone and you think shes the "One", ask yourself this; would you hang around with her if she was a bloke?". Good advice IMHO, often lost when we get a rush of blood to the nethers.

ntlbell

Wibbs wrote: »

An uncle of mine gave me good advice years ago on this. He said "If you fancy someone and you think shes the "One", ask yourself this; would you hang around with her if she was a bloke?". Good advice IMHO, often lost when we get a rush of blood to the nethers.

do most men want to be married to a female version of "one of the lads" ?

Wibbs

well none of my male mates could be described as "one of the lads" anyway. It means that you have to be compatible beyind the contents of her bra and pants, intellectually, socially, trustwise, emotionally, some overlap of shared interests etc That would sum up my male freindships too.

jaffa20

Thaedydal wrote: »

http://www.goldenpages.ie/search/ireland/decent_men.html :P

Hey, ye big copycat!

RacoonQueen

Placid_Casual wrote: »

Move to Dublin so. We're all hot, honest.

You're hot? That's my only requirement in a man, I'm shallow. Wanna hook up?

Nothingcompares

I'm not sure where the last couple of posts have come from. i think a lot of people are looking for Mister/Miss Right Now as opposed to Mr/Miss Right. There are loads and loads of interesting and sexy people out there and it's fantastic to meet these people, do the whole friendship/companionship/sex thing for a while and than move on when the time is right. If these things develop into something long term so much the better.

SJPRogue

Wibbs wrote: »

Unfortunately just because you're compatible that way it certainly doesnt mean you're actually compatible as people. I'd even say more often than not it doesn't. Hence the amount of relationships you see that go pear shaped at the 2/3 year mark when the wobbly bits cool off and they are dealing with each other as individuals and not just lovers. A lot stay because of shared experience or assets or just out of fear of looking elsewhere. .

Was married once, & i soon discovered that I'd totally misread the person I'd married. I'd known her nearly 10 yrs, with a gap in the middle, but had let the fact that I thought she was hot totally shape all my other perceptions of her. thought she was open, adventurous, wise etc... all coz she was hot. Think she made a similar mistake. When we eventually married & moved in together neither of our expectations matched the realities, & neither of us were going to change..... lawyers have been bleeding us dry & stocking the conflict ever since.

Have also been in relationships with girls that were really good mates of mine but i didn't have the hots for, & stayed with some out of some kinda loyalty/debt to our shared experience, & that was wrong too... waste of everybody's time: nobody was going to be really happy in the end. everybody was just going to settle.

I think I'll stick to my original post on this thread.... have some great friends amongst the opposite sex; if you can, find 2-3 members of opposite sex to have & raise kids with, but LIVE ALONE.

Dragan

SJPRogue wrote: »

Was married once, & i soon discovered that I'd totally misread the person I'd married. I'd known her nearly 10 yrs, with a gap in the middle, but had let the fact that I thought she was hot totally shape all my other perceptions of her. thought she was open, adventurous, wise etc... all coz she was hot. Think she made a similar mistake. When we eventually married & moved in together neither of our expectations matched the realities, & neither of us were going to change..... lawyers have been bleeding us dry & stocking the conflict ever since.

Have also been in relationships with girls that were really good mates of mine but i didn't have the hots for, & stayed with some out of some kinda loyalty/debt to our shared experience, & that was wrong too... waste of everybody's time: nobody was going to be really happy in the end. everybody was just going to settle.

I think I'll stick to my original post on this thread.... have some great friends amongst the opposite sex; if you can, find 2-3 members of opposite sex to have & raise kids with, but LIVE ALONE.

No offence, but YOU made your mistakes, not anyone else.

Joey the lips

i must say i am glad i am a man cause i would hate to be looking for one cause i honestly think we are a@@ [EMAIL="ho@@s"]ho@@s[/EMAIL]

but where would i think the best place is to meet one?

The first thing i would consider is make as many friends you can without a view to a relationship then the clingers will drop away cause all they want is one thing

Then you will eventually meet friends of friends.

Be a girl/women no need to be a man. Men talk to men about man things and women? about nothing

i honestly dont believe you will meet a good man in a disco/rave so if you do make sure its on a friends bases

lastly lokk around, your mates brother might be looking at you. thats what happened with me but i thought she was to good for me and had not been looking

SJPRogue

Dragan wrote: »

No offence, but YOU made your mistakes, not anyone else.

Isn't that stating the obvious considering I drew up the list of my mistakes? (although I'm sure the girls involved would probably agree they made a mistake too). & I'm not moaning about them. I don't regret them & learnt alot more than if I'd found a nice girl, nice semi-d, 2 kids, 2 cars, dog, etc at age 23.

Anyway, isn't that what everyone here on this thread who can't find whatever has listed out... lists of mistakes - theirs or others - that have made them unhappy?

Wibbs

Dragan wrote: »

No offence, but YOU made your mistakes, not anyone else.

TBH I dont see where he said any different, though I do agree with you as far as taking personal responsibility for our own mistakes.