On a date, who do you think should pay?

MadelineNYC

who should pay on a date?

Always the man?
The woman?
Split the cost?
Whoever did the inviting for the date?

Mr. Presentable

Let's face it; one way or another the guy always pays.

Mr. Presentable

nipplenuts wrote: »

Let's face it; one way or another the guy always pays.

But actually the invitor, as the other is a guest.

Chinafoot

nipplenuts wrote: »

Let's face it; one way or another the guy always pays.

What does that even mean? Seriously.

As to the topic at hand...I'm all for going dutch.

1huge1

I'd go with the invitor.

Rebel021

Grow up and pay your own way
Although I have always paid apart from a few girls who insisit on going Dutch

Chinafoot

Rebel021 wrote: »

Grow up and pay your own way

Eh, want to calm down there? The OP asked a question. At no point did she say she felt the man should pay for everything.

Poccington

Personally, I've no problem with paying for myself and my lady friend.

If a girl wants to pay her own way though, I'm not gonna try stop them or any of that malarkey.

Creamy Goodness

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055404449

/thread

PrivateEye

I tend not to allow 'em to put the hand in the póca, theres a good point in letting the invitor pay but who wants to be the bloke seen standing back while see buys the tickets to something/keeps getting the drinks in? The last missus used to insist on paying something blahblah, so the way around that was to take her out and then she'd buy the 'drink on the way home' or something like that, or the popcorn at the cinema, nothing mega- but enough to keep her quiet :pac:


Its probably some old-school gene in men, I know a young one who thinks its almost 'sexist' her boyfriend tends to cover the little things, I don't get that myself. She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named used to get me little gifts for nothing which was sweet-as to be honest, it can go both ways.

CathyMoran

I think that in an ideal world the person who asks the other person out should pay but the other person should offer to pay halves (for a first date) afterwards halves or alternating...from my own experience though the relationships that lasted were the ones where the guy paid for the first date (I paid for the second one)...the hubby and I still do it in turns though we do not keep an exact tab.

Stheno

Split the cost?

Or as Cathymoran says, alternating?

I just don't get this "As a bloke, I would always pay" thing at all. And as for "who wants to be the bloke seen standing back while see buys the tickets to something/keeps getting the drinks in?" who cares?

RxQueen

always pay my own way , or if he did pay id pay the next time

hate the way some girl thing the guy should always pay

minidazzler

It really depends on which date.

But I am a payer for all just because I am a bit of a pushover when it comes to females.

twanda

I am a girl and I also prefer to pay half of the bill. Always have done.
I think in this day and age we shouldn't be expecting the guy to foot the bill.

Twee.

I'll always offer to go halves on a date, or if we're at the cinema, maybe one of us will get the food, the other get the tickets. With my last BF we used to go for lunch somewhere once a week and just alternated the cost.

Placid_Casual

I always offer to pay but if the girl refuses and insists on splitting the bill I wouldn't argue for a second. Personally, I think going Dutch should be the way (we do live in times of supposed equality after all) but i'll always offer because I think it would give a bad impression otherwise. Most girls i've gone out with either insist on going Dutch or else let me pay for dinner, lets say, and then they pay for drinks afterwards, which is fair enough.

If a girl let me pay for everything all night, while I wouldn't say anything, it would leave a negative impression on me. I think i'd kind of feel like I was being used. And no, I wouldn't expect anything "in return", if you know what I mean. Luckily, I haven't really come across too many girls like that.

spinandscribble

dutch all the way. its nice to treat and be treated sometimes.

who007

The guy on the first date unless iot was the girl who asked him on the date, go dutch from then on except for one treating the other from time to time, but without keeping track of whose turn it is to do the treating..

scorpioishere

Split the cost. For me i always pay the first and the second time we meet she pays.

jellie

i will always expect to pay my own way. but if someone wants to treat me, why would i say no?

& viceversa, sometimes id wanna treat the boy.

now just gotta go find a boy.. :pac:

stovelid

If you feel men should always pay: fine. but you should always put out after the date.

TEDDYBEAR90

im happy to go dutch. I don't think either person should have to foot the entire bill.

Polleta

The invitor for the first date though I'm pretty sure if it was dinner for instance one of us paid for dinner and the other paid for post dinner drinks in all of my first dates.

After that in my relationships it has always been alternating. My ex gave up fighting with me over paying though always insisted on he had to pay for dinner but I could pay for lunch/breakfast or drinks.

Toots

When I started seeing my OH, I was still in school and he was working, so he insisted on paying for everything (probably cos he knew I had no money). Our usual dates in the early days were dinner and either the cinema or a game of pool, so I'd always buy the cinema tickets or pay for the pool table cos it was only about €10, and at least that way he wasn't paying for absolutely everything. Now all our accounts etc are joint so it's simply a matter of who wants the hassle of taking their wallet out of their pocket.

I think in general though, if you invite someone out for a date then you should pay. If it's a mutual arrangement to meet up, then probably going dutch is best.

Mr. Frost

twanda wrote: »

I am a girl and I also prefer to pay half of the bill. Always have done.
I think in this day and age we shouldn't be expecting the guy to foot the bill.

Why not? What's wrong with chivalrous values like that? This 'this day and age' stuff? What does it even mean? It's hardly on par with expecting the man to work and the woman to stay at home. I think it's nice for the guy to pay, I think if the woman wants to go halves fine. If she invites me out, I pay, I just like to. I wish some women would stop coming across as insulted by such a gesture.

Jules

Depends on the situation, a guys asks me out and i expect him to pay but all going well at the end of whatever i would say, wanna do it again sometime, but its on me. Or if i sak him out first i pay, Or something to that degree. Now in a relationship we kinda split it, but if we are having a date night kinda deal or im cooking something special he'll pay or i'll pay depending on who came up with the idea!

taram

Last year when my boyfriend was only working weekends and I was working full time I'd usually pay for things like dinner out, he'd pay for small things like coffees and such. Now we're on the same hours we have free dates (picnic and walk ).

rediguana

I think the man should pay unless the woman is rich and he is poor, and that sounds like an unlikely date pairing.

Students etc can split the cost.

roberta c

Why?

AnnieB82

I think if a guy asks a girl out he should pay for the first date ( yeah old fashioned) Afterwards it should be 50/50

ntlbell

I guess it depends what sort of a date it is etc. but i've always paid if i asked the person out

but now when me and the missus go on a "date" it's never really brought up sometimes i'll pay sometimes she'll pay or sometimes it just goes on our joint account it's never something that we actually talk about it just sort of "happens"

Orlee

50 50 all the way Unless he insists on paying!

lickleMo

AnnieB82 wrote: »

I think if a guy asks a girl out he should pay for the first date ( yeah old fashioned) Afterwards it should be 50/50

i agree....this is the way it should be!! on a first date if they pay for at least dinner and then maybe I'd buy drinks or something. but after that its only fair that i pull my way. i once went out with a guy on a first date and we split the bill. fine....then we went for drinks and we stood around like idiots for ages till eventually i had to ask him what he was drinking. could see the scabbiness a mile off and that's just not a nice quality in someone.

Jellybabs

lickleMo wrote: »

i agree....this is the way it should be!! on a first date if they pay for at least dinner and then maybe I'd buy drinks or something. but after that its only fair that i pull my way. i once went out with a guy on a first date and we split the bill. fine....then we went for drinks and we stood around like idiots for ages till eventually i had to ask him what he was drinking. could see the scabbiness a mile off and that's just not a nice quality in someone.

i agree i hate scabiness in men.. went to the cinema with a guy recently and i ended up payin. i do go halves but is so nice when they offer to pay hehe :P

lickleMo

Jellybabs wrote: »

i agree i hate scabiness in men.. went to the cinema with a guy recently and i ended up payin. i do go halves but is so nice when they offer to pay hehe :P

I bet he was a keeper!! I wouldn't be bothered about a guy that deliberatley did that on a first date. I once was seeing a guy and we'd met up a few times. We were going out for dinner and he forgot his wallet...I didn't mind that...but then he went and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. I personally would be mortified to do that. If it was me, even if it was my best friend I wouldn't do that....let alone someone I had only known a short while. I just felt like he was taking the piss....
I also know a guy who had got free tickets to the cinema from work....brought a girl along and he told her to go and buy the popcorn and sweets as he was going to buy the tickets....unbelievable!!! God help any girl that ends up with him cause he really is the most miserably scabby guy I have ever come across in my life!!
Men can never say we take the piss out of them cause I really think that sometimes they do it to us!

Jellybabs

lickleMo wrote: »

I bet he was a keeper!! I wouldn't be bothered about a guy that deliberatley did that on a first date. I once was seeing a guy and we'd met up a few times. We were going out for dinner and he forgot his wallet...I didn't mind that...but then he went and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. I personally would be mortified to do that. If it was me, even if it was my best friend I wouldn't do that....let alone someone I had only known a short while. I just felt like he was taking the piss....
I also know a guy who had got free tickets to the cinema from work....brought a girl along and he told her to go and buy the popcorn and sweets as he was going to buy the tickets....unbelievable!!! God help any girl that ends up with him cause he really is the most miserably scabby guy I have ever come across in my life!!
Men can never say we take the piss out of them cause I really think that sometimes they do it to us!

haha no he wasnt a keeper and then he left d cinema and went 2 boots 2 buy d drinks and d sweets i was like hang my head in shame i suppose i get embaressed easy but defo there wasnt gonna be a date no.2 and tat guy that got the free tickets and got her 2 pay shud be stayed well away from haha
im not sayin men should pay all the time but its so sweet wen they do and you always want to pay your way then well i do anyway haha

lickleMo

Jellybabs wrote: »

haha no he wasnt a keeper and then he left d cinema and went 2 boots 2 buy d drinks and d sweets i was like hang my head in shame i suppose i get embaressed easy but defo there wasnt gonna be a date no.2 and tat guy that got the free tickets and got her 2 pay shud be stayed well away from haha
im not sayin men should pay all the time but its so sweet wen they do and you always want to pay your way then well i do anyway haha

Oh my!! scabby alert....scabby alert!! :eek: sounds like something that guy with the free tickets would do! i wonder was it the same guy...haha!! you had absolutely nothing to be embarressed about....the guy clearly had no shame!! girl power and all that....but as you say it is sweet when they do offer...and when I know someone isn't taking the piss and I really like them I want to treat that person. that's just what i think anyway!!

Snowie

easy really if i asked a girl out for a drink id pay even if im just a mate if she invites me out il still probably pay because or insist on at least spliting...

mind you my x braught me out for a meal / kfc heh she payed i was broke ....

i baught the ice cream....

Jellybabs

lickleMo wrote: »

Oh my!! scabby alert....scabby alert!! :eek: sounds like something that guy with the free tickets would do! i wonder was it the same guy...haha!! you had absolutely nothing to be embarressed about....the guy clearly had no shame!! girl power and all that....but as you say it is sweet when they do offer...and when I know someone isn't taking the piss and I really like them I want to treat that person. that's just what i think anyway!!

ya i guess ! yep i agree if u like dem and their genuine of course then your gonna want to treat them back.. i may be a little old fashioned in thinkin d guy shud defo offer 2 pay on d first date tho haha i remember of mate of mine sayin one day i was ruininG feminism one day wen i said that i dunno about that tho !! :P guess will just have 2 choose nicer guys the next time although i dunno is there many genuinely nice guys around anymore !! :O

Kenno90

lets face it , in these hard recession times , both sohuld spilt the cost ,

well seriously i think if the guy asks a girl then he should pay in full ,
if they become BF/GF then it should be spilt down the middle

Jellybabs

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

easy really if i asked a girl out for a drink id pay even if im just a mate if she invites me out il still probably pay because or insist on at least spliting...

mind you my x braught me out for a meal / kfc heh she payed i was broke ....

i baught the ice cream....

thats different when your going out with someone thats grand !! and at least you paid 4 d dessert dat was nice esp when u were broke

Jellybabs

Kenno90 wrote: »

lets face it , in these hard recession times , both sohuld spilt the cost ,

well seriously i think if the guy asks a girl then he should pay in full ,
if they become BF/GF then it should be spilt down the middle

tat sounds fair as u say esp in dese recession times haha

lickleMo

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

easy really if i asked a girl out for a drink id pay even if im just a mate if she invites me out il still probably pay because or insist on at least spliting...

mind you my x braught me out for a meal / kfc heh she payed i was broke ....

i baught the ice cream....

I don't ever expect friends to pay for me. but of course that sometimes happens and the other person might buy drinks the next time. i think it all boils down to if people are being fair and not deliberatley avoiding paying their way...I know there are times that we don't have a lot of money (I'm a student again and really very broke!!) but i still always make sure someone doesn't think im taking advantage of them. i dont mind but when its a regular occurance that someone has no money and you're constantly having to pay the way for both well then i think get rid....and that goes for the guys too!!

lickleMo

Jellybabs wrote: »

:P guess will just have 2 choose nicer guys the next time although i dunno is there many genuinely nice guys around anymore !! :O

Putting the "split the bill" thing to the side...i do agree that its really hard to meet nice genuine guys....maybe that's a topic for a different thread!!

Snowie

lickleMo wrote: »

I don't ever expect friends to pay for me. but of course that sometimes happens and the other person might buy drinks the next time. i think it all boils down to if people are being fair and not deliberatley avoiding paying their way...I know there are times that we don't have a lot of money (I'm a student again and really very broke!!) but i still always make sure someone doesn't think im taking advantage of them. i dont mind but when its a regular occurance that someone has no money and you're constantly having to pay the way for both well then i think get rid....and that goes for the guys too!!

why are you justfying that to me all i said was id happilly buy them a few drinks and proabably split a bill if they invited me out and if i invited them out id buy there drinks... and food...

Snowie

Jellybabs wrote: »

thats different when your going out with someone thats grand !! and at least you paid 4 d dessert dat was nice esp when u were broke

shes my x and she new she was paying :cool: she wasa troubelsome gf so its time for her to reach into them pockets :P

lickleMo

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

why are you justfying that to me all i said was id happilly buy them a few drinks and proabably split a bill if they invited me out and if i invited them out id buy there drinks... and food...

I don't think I was trying to justify myself...I was just responding and adding more to the responses...:) I'm new to all this!

But i think that's nice what you do its nice to be nice!!

Snowie

lickleMo wrote: »

I'm don't think I was trying to justify myself...I was just responding and adding more to the responses...:) I'm new to all this!

But i think that's nice what you do its nice to be nice!!

sorry you just came across to me as thos you where ..


It is indeed

TerrorFirmer

When I was first dating my girlfriend, I paid for a lot of things, but only because I wanted to - she certainly didn't expect me to, but I insisted. There's a crucial difference there between 'think' and allow. If a girl yields to being bought stuff that's fine, if she actually expects to be bought stuff....in my opinion that's a warning sign for any man. Nowadays, we go even on things, give or take a small bit - some days I'll buy stuff, other days, she'll buy stuff, naturally some days will be more expensive then others. It's not an exact science.

Alessandra

On dates I always make an attempt to pay my way. If I was with a fellow student definitely go halfs. I've been taken out by professionals when I was a student who insisted on paying and I didn't mind. Now I am working I never expect a free meal but sometimes it happens that way. If I suggest the evening I'll pay.. Depends on the situation!