What useare cats

colrow

I can't think of any use for the horrible furry yokes except for ...

Queen-Mise

As a certain australian singer (Kevin bloody wilson) used to sing -

The fcuking cats back, the fcuking cats, i stuck my foot up its bum and kicked it till kingdom come. the fcuking cat's back, the fcuking cats back.

And so on, and so forth.

Rhyme

They offer neither milk nor meat.


They are cuddly though, anyone disputing this can meet me around the back of the nest in five minutes, choose your weapon wisely.

[edit]:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYzM4tVbjyE

colrow

Meat, mmm, i spose they might be nice barbecued, after stroking them a lot to lull them into a false sense of security.

Cat ribs in a tangy lime sauce anyone ?

tangerinepuppet

Oh come on! We're never more than a couple of feet away from a rat! At least feeding a stray cat to keep it around the outside of your house keeps those dirty feckers at bay.

colrow

We've got a wild one made its home in the barn, can't get near it, so to stroke it I'd have to shoot it first, maybe I could cook it the hedgehog way wrap it in clay put it in the fire, and when its cooked the clay will pull away the fur

445279.ie

Totally agree - hate cats :mad:

kittens are cute though

colrow

[QUOTE

kittens are cute though [/QUOTE]

speshully s e x kittens eh

Hermy

Without cats there'd be no lolcats.

randylonghorn

Oh, c'mon ... there's nothing like making a pussy purr ... >_>

colrow

Thats my boy, but you is confused we're talking about those flea ridden, asthma inducing, 4 legged dog teasers

Black Swan

Ghost Train

colrow

Keep thison topic pleze .... What Use Are Cats ????

Sleipnir

colrow wrote: »

I can't think of any use for the horrible furry yokes except for ...

Shoes, handbags, emergency rations...

colrow

I wonder if they'd be any good for plugging a leak in sinking boat ?

banshee_bones

Cats are great pets, cuddly and loveable, they keep rats away. And stroking a cat or dog for 20 minutes or so has been shown to reduce blood pressure.
Therefore pets such as cats have a theraputic affect.

Rhyme

There is also more than one way to skin a cat.

banshee_bones

Rhyme wrote: »

There is also more than one way to skin a cat.

yeah? speaking from experience are you! :eek:

Rhyme

There's this little tab where the tail meets the spine that if you pull hard enou-


...I've said too much.

banshee_bones

Rhyme wrote: »

There's this little tab where the tail meets the spine that if you pull hard enou-


...I've said too much.

:eek: x 1,000

Rhyme

Okay you got me, even i flinched at the thought of tearing the skin from an innocent kitty, curing the thin hide and fashioning it into a stylish doublet to be worn to soireés.

banshee_bones

http://thedailykitten.com/media/kittypix/0/kitten390_09.jpg

you wouldnt.....

Mr. Presentable

Turn em inside out for a nice muff.
Use the intestine as a condom.
Nailed inside the front door they make a very good intrusion detector

Rhyme

Super-serious.

colrow

Some old boys in Cornwall used to swear by hanging a dead cat over their favourite fishing spot, for a week or two, the maggots that dropped out as a drip feed, got plenty of fish interested.

colrow

banshee_bones wrote: »

Cats are great pets, cuddly and loveable, they keep rats away. And stroking a cat or dog for 20 minutes or so has been shown to reduce blood pressure.
Therefore pets such as cats have a theraputic affect.

Anyone offering to let me stroke their pussy for an hour or two ?:)

banshee_bones

colrow wrote: »

Anyone offering to let me stroke their pussy for an hour or two ?:)

FAIL.




EPIC FAIL!

Matt Holck

colrow wrote: »

I wonder if they'd be any good for plugging a leak in sinking boat ?

Nope

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p6YQzrxu4o

purplegeko

Cats can make us laugh though as Jimmy Car suggested ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM-GZHLPNyU

Rhyme

Captain Mog and his four peg-paws.

banshee_bones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muLIPWjks_M




quality....!

kerash

What use are cats? WHAT USE ARE CATS?!!!!!!!
What use are you?

colrow

They cats make a good pair of slippers, and if they are freshly dead, got that nice warm feeling

Queen-Mise

brilliant for clawing faces

colrow

yeah, and if you use em as a brush when painting, you can use them as a fire lighter, after they've been dipped in turps

Deki

1. Put both the seat and lid in the up position. Add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up kitty. Soothe him as you carry him to the bathroom.
3. In one smooth, quick movement drop cat into bowl. Quickly shut both lids.( At this point you may be required to stand on top lid.)
4. The cat will self-agitate,providing ample suds. (Ignore noises from toilet- the cat is actually enjoying this).
5. Flush toilet 2 or three times to provide a "power wash" and rinse.
6. Be sure to have the front door to your home open. Ensure there are no people or obstacles between the toilet and the door.
7.Standing as far behind the toilet as you can get - Quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket from the toilet, streak through the house and out the door. Once outside he will calm down and dry himself in the sun.
9. Rewards- you now have both a shining commode and freshly cleaned kitty !
Sincerely Yours,
The Dog

Queen-Mise

They provide aerobic exercise for dogs

homah_7ft

They help us identify which people are allergic to cats.

They stand in when the rabbit's on holiday, down at the dogs.

staker

they make a great sliotar.
and "kill the cat,kill the cat" is my favourite pastime whilst driving.

homah_7ft

They form the first, some say most important, part of caterpillars.

staker

i see what you done there homie:cool:

They're good at slowing down traffic outside schools.

homah_7ft

Don't thank me, thank the cats.

Queen-Mise

as an accessory for sofas

FredH3as

Without them a large scale disaster would not be a catastrophe

staker

without them that "catch it behind the door" joke would've never taken off.

Queen-Mise

the same for mr hands except for small people

colrow

queen-mise wrote: »

the same for mr hands except for small people

What does that mean exactly, its confusicated moi. And I am King Vandal of Kerry