invading your space

honey79

just thought of this when reading people views on bring called love

does anyone else have a problem with people standing just too close to you , i have no problem with anybody i know doing this what i mean are just random people in q's etc and if i move away they just move closer

i would be quite a touchy feely person when speaking to people i know
but stangers i find it a bit odd anybody else or am i just being weird

Silverfish

"This is my dance space, this is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame "

Chinafoot

I hate this. It's a major pet hate of mine. I don't like being touched by people I don't know/barely know/am not in a close relationship with/related to.

It happens sometimes in work too. People lean right across the desk practically in my face when they're waiting for me to check something for them.

I used to work with a woman with absolutely no comprehension of personal space. If I asked for her help with anything, instead of just telling me she'd come to my desk, lean right across me touching me, and show me on the screen. Always drove me mad!

SeekUp

There should be a rule -- with strangers, there should always be a three-foot-bubble of personal space (which can be modified, of course, if you're talking to bank tellers/giving money to cashiers/riding public transit/etc.).

My pet peeve is when I'm standing in line and the person standing behind me is so close that my shoulder bag touches them if I turn around. Standing closer to me isn't gonna get you to the front of the line any faster!!!!

Daisy Dweller

Some frickin weird guy at a bus stop started stroking my hair one day....:eek:YES!! INVASION OF MY PERSONAL BUBBLE!!! I don't mind when its peeps I know, like, I'd be quite physical with people I know and love when talking to them....

Although its happened once or twice when I've apparently given folks some sort of signal, un beknownest to myself, that its ok to touch...like they think they know me and they think its ok but its not...

If that makes any kind of sense...?

SarahSassy

Yeah this bugs me and its generally older doddery women who do it....

rachel

I find the handshake/kiss on the cheek combination that people use to say hello/goodbye boarders on an invasion of my personal space. I have no issue with the handshake, it's the kiss i dislike.
It's something my family and friends have never done which is possibly why I am uncomfortable with it.
I just hate when people who I would consider more as acquaintances rather than friends go in for the kiss on the cheek.
In a formal setting I have no issue with handshake and in a more informal setting, I have no problem with a handshake when meeting someone for the first time but do not feel the need to add in a kiss!

kizzyr

Yes I hate it. With people I know and like then I'm ok with them being close to me but there is this girl at work who is so up close and really invades my personal space. Whenever I am talking to her I always back away but she follows me:eek: I think an arms length is an appropriate distance, well except for my boyfriend and then the closer the better;)

MysticalSoul

A pet hate of mine too. I do find Irish people don't have the cop on as other cultures (and yes, I am Irish saying this ). I have found at checkouts in supermarkets, and I am paying my laser, that the odd guy (tends to be a guy here), is looking over my shoulder while I am trying to put in my pin - due to the side raise, is difficult to try and hide too.

Also, people on buses or the DART practically sitting on my lap, thinking they can take up a seat and a half (and no, they are not even big enough to take up that kind of space).

*Lees*

One of my bosses has no understanding of this, if he needs to look at my screen for anything he will wheel a chair right over beside me so his arms are rubbing off mine!!!! Its horrible!!!! The other day i had to print something off for him and I got up and walked to the printer, he walked over and stood right beside me so i was wedged into the corner where the printer is!!!! :mad::mad:
My other boss is the complete opposite which can be just as uncomfortable, he makes a big deal out of not invading my space to the point where if he needs to get something thats near me he will lean over then stop, get flustered and go all red and then ask me to hand it to him!!!
People in queues are the worst though, and it always seems to be someone who's obviously sick, sneezing and wiping their snotty nose!!! Eww!!:o

Ickle Magoo

Ewww, I really don't like it if somebody is encroaching on what I consider to be my personal space. It gets to the point where I'm tilting precariously to lean away. I often take a few steps away but they often follow - what's the protocol? Grin & bear it?

My particular bug bear is blokes I don't know thinking they are being uber friendly by putting their arm around my shoulders, I never know what to say without seeming rude so I just make my excuses & leave their company.

stupidusername

I actually thought I had to be the only person that couldn't stand this! A while ago queuing for the bus, this guy stood beside me at a very uncomfortable closeness, i moved down a foot or two, he moved down again. I was like freaking out inside. So i moved again, and he did it again! I couldn't believe it,i was about ready to smack him, or at least scream at him does he know anything about personal space!?? eugh!

I would've thought this kind of thing would be obvious to people, but apparently not. There's just no need to be that close to some stranger

minidazzler

For me personal space really depends on the situation.

I hate it when people enter my personal space if I don't know them, and they consider it OK to stand within 2 feet of me in a queue.

But, I wouldn't conplain on a bus, even though I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I will never initiate a hug with an aquaintance but if I don't dislike them, I will reciprocate.

Rhyme

If i can feel a strangers breath on me, it's too close.

MagicMarker

There's a guy in work like this. If he's bending down to look at my screen for whatever reason, he almost has his head resting on my shoulder!!! Way too close for my liking.

However, I have a suspicion that he is ADHD or something. His behavior overall makes me think that but isn't an inability to recognize personal boundaries a symptom? I could be totally wrong though...

jellie

MagicMarker wrote: »

There's a guy in work like this. If he's bending down to look at my screen for whatever reason, he almost has his head resting on my shoulder!!! Way too close for my liking.

Guy where I work does this too. & reaches over me to point at the screen & brushes his hand against mine *shudder* & he smells.

He creeps me out anyway, but in general he just has no sense of personal space. i hate him

Acacia

I don't really mind people standing next to me or whatever. It's when they start feeling me up ( usually weird drunk guys here) without even knowing my name that I get annoyed. And when they're chatting you up, and just won't take the hint that you're not interested, and cling on to you, follow you around, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I like being chatted up and and don't mind guys approaching me. I'd just like them to realise that they're not going to get anywhere by walking over to me after I walked away from them.;)

Piste

My personal space is sacred, I hate it being invaded! I also hate strangers hugging me.

Dudess

Chinafoot wrote: »

I hate this. It's a major pet hate of mine. I don't like being touched by people I don't know/barely know/am not in a close relationship with/related to.

It happens sometimes in work too. People lean right across the desk practically in my face when they're waiting for me to check something for them.

I used to work with a woman with absolutely no comprehension of personal space. If I asked for her help with anything, instead of just telling me she'd come to my desk, lean right across me touching me, and show me on the screen. Always drove me mad!

Yeah I get similar members of the public at work, practically sitting on my desk. When I was doing reception they'd lean on the desk and just stay there. It's really rude.

Princessa

I have a box, i dont like people going in my box, you stay out of mine, i'll stay out of your! :P

Chinafoot

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah I get similar members of the public at work, practically sitting on my desk. When I was doing reception they'd lean on the desk and just stay there. It's really rude.

I have a major thing about people breathing on me. It amazes me how many people I deal with on a daily basis that have bad breath!! Stop breathing in my face while I'm checking for a book for you!! There is absolutely no need for them to lean across my desk and study my face while I seach through the catalogue.

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

I have a major thing about people breathing on me. It amazes me how many people I deal with on a daily basis that have bad breath!! Stop breathing in my face while I'm checking for a book for you!! There is absolutely no need for them to lean across my desk and study my face while I seach through the catalogue.

Also hate my face being breathed on, though that doesn't just include strangers and isn't a bad breath thing.

Was in an airport queue for security check once. Unbelievably slow, about 30 mins. Woman behind me was practically snoring when standing still. Seriously, like snoring. Every time I took a small step ahead to attempt to get away from her she'd come right up behind me and resume snoring. :mad:

Chinafoot

bluewolf wrote: »

Also hate my face being breathed on, though that doesn't just include strangers and isn't a bad breath thing.

Oh same here. I have to face away from the OH at night because I feel very claustrophobic when I have him breathing in my face.

Nearly had a row in the queue for a club once. Drunk girl behind me kept shoving into me as if that was going to make the queue move faster. Told her to back off as the people in front of me hadn't moved, she mumbled something of an apology but continued to shove into me. I ended up telling her if she pushed me again she'd regret it (I'm not a violent person, I just hate people I don't know touching me like that, particularly silly bints that can't handle their drink) and thankfully her friends dragged her back. She didn't get in in the end.

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

Oh same here. I have to face away from the OH at night because I feel very claustrophobic when I have him breathing in my face.

Me too! I had to explain this finally to the OH recently, I think he thinks I'm strange

banshee_bones

When I was in Canada i commeneted to my canadaian friend at how far back the people stand from you at the atm (a good 5-6 ft) and told them in Ireland theyd be nearly on top of you!

She said if they did that here you would be told to get the fcuk back!

pawrick

hm it's become a bit of a running joke with one of my house mates and her friends that i don't do the hug/kiss on each cheek type greeting.
I just find it weird but it's come to the point that I seem like a freak if I don't!

re people standing close in a q - I'll stand close if I think you are leaving a big gap in front just to make you move - dunno why i do it, just like orderly q's I guess.

Dolbert

stupidusername wrote: »

A while ago queuing for the bus, this guy stood beside me at a very uncomfortable closeness, i moved down a foot or two, he moved down again. I was like freaking out inside. So i moved again, and he did it again! I couldn't believe it,i was about ready to smack him, or at least scream at him does he know anything about personal space!?? eugh!

I have developed a defence mechanism for the queue offenders. I put my hands in my pockets and leave my elbows jutting out at a sharp angle. Often they'll still dozily edge into my elbow, which does not budge. It's tough, but fair :pac:

marti101

Hate this with a venegence the way people have no idea of personal space.Like many others i work with the public and you wouldnt believe the amount of times they just stand there after you have asked them to move,esp if im trying to put my pin in to approve them for something.Also atms wtf is the problem with standing back and letting people conduct their business in private.

MJOR

used to work in retail and th amount of people that would nearly lapdance on you was unreal I feel ya bluewolf, breath is minging. If someone behind me stands too close i stand on their foot!

Ickle Magoo

Chinafoot wrote: »

Oh same here. I have to face away from the OH at night because I feel very claustrophobic when I have him breathing in my face.

I'm like that too, my OH has this weird head back snorting down his nostril at me way of sleeping sometime. I HATE it. I have shoved him over onto his other side, moved his head so his nostril breath wasn't directed at me & shoved a pillow between us so I can't feel it. It literally makes my skin crawl (not him I hasten to add - anyone breathing on me), especially breathing on my neck...eugghh!

Blush_01

I hate people touching me unless I know it's going to happen. I love hugs, I'm quite affectionate, but please do not touch me unless I have some forewarning, or I might punch you. It's not deliberate, but it has happened in the past.

honey79

im so glad this is not just me was thinking i was a freak

Miss_Moneypenny

It bugs me when I am in a queue and people behind me stand too close. It nearly always happens in shops or in the bank. I think it freaks me out because I can't see them and I am in a somewhat vulnerable position. What I do is turn around, look at them and then turn sideways so that I am taking up more space and they are less likely to move into your personal space (your elbow). I always leave loads of space for people in front of me at ATMS and in shops as I think its an invasion of someones privacy peering at their banking transactions etc

homerun_homer

I'm the same, hate people invading my personal space. This can include people standing near my desk in work.

DaMooseDog

I dunno folks, I think people are overreacting a bit on this one..... especially in social situations in a pub/club or whatever.... I have issues with this "if I don't know you, I don't want to know about you" attitude, I mean if people are going to be that anti-social why bother going out. The overwhelming majority of people i meet randomly are warm, friendly people, fair enough if someone is repeatedly doing something that annoys you but "stay clear of my dance space" is a bit extreme imo

allabouteve

sar84 wrote: »

Guy where I work does this too. & reaches over me to point at the screen & brushes his hand against mine *shudder* & he smells.

He creeps me out anyway, but in general he just has no sense of personal space. i hate him

I stopped being subtle about this type of thing a few years ago.
Now, when someone is too close for my comfort, I just say,

''Do you mind moving a little further away? Body odour affects me''

Doesn't make me popular though.:)

Latchy

honey79 wrote: »

does anyone else have a problem with people standing just too close to you ,

but stangers i find it a bit odd anybody else or am i just being weird

Hi there ..HELLO ....I've arrived * big hugs *

stovelid

Personal space policing can sometimes be overreaction imho. Some people just get in close unconsciously and are a bit overwhelmingly tactile. Unless there is a dodgy/sleazy/ intimidatory aspect, I just ignore.

Imo, it's far ruder to knowingly and publicly react in a negative way to unwanted actions that are essentially innocent and unintended.

I accept that the line is blurred on the first few occasions because you may not be able to gauge intent, but with people that you know like workmates, I just let it go

allabouteve

stovelid wrote: »

Imo, it's far ruder to knowingly and publicly react in a negative way to unwanted actions that are essentially innocent and unintended.

Innocent they may be, offensive they still are.

People should be made aware of how their actions affect others, and that they are considered unacceptable. If you don't let them know, they'll just keep doing it.

Latchy

Invading sombodys space , either in a office envoirment, shop , public transport ,pub or otherwise is wrong .Big difference between queing and rubbing shoulders at the bar to being felt up on the tube.

*Dallas

oh god .. i really dislike it when people don't understand personal space.

i was out in a bar with a work friend I'd known for about a year, i walked in to a toilet cubicle and she came in with me, not given me the option to go alone.. she whipped down her underwear and just started pee'in :eek: i felt so akward, i just started fixing my hair in the mirror! lol

MadelineNYC

Rhyme wrote: »

If i can feel a strangers breath on me, it's too close.

(shudder...) yes, much too close.

The worst is when you are pregnant. People seem to think that your stomach is now public property...I'm talking complete strangers coming up to you to rub it and that kind of thing...awful!!

GirlInterrupted

allabouteve wrote: »

I stopped being subtle about this type of thing a few years ago.
Now, when someone is too close for my comfort, I just say,

''Do you mind moving a little further away? Body odour affects me''

Doesn't make me popular though.:)

I wish I had the moxy to do that, but I generally just inch away or shrink as far away as I can.
I can only really assert myself confidently if I'm touched in an obviously over-familiar way.

*Dallas

*Dallas wrote: »

oh god .. i really dislike it when people don't understand personal space.

i was out in a bar with a work friend I'd known for about a year, i walked in to a toilet cubicle and she came in with me, not given me the option to go alone.. she whipped down her underwear and just started pee'in :eek: i felt so akward, i just started fixing my hair in the mirror! lol

EEwwwwww!!!!

Faith

I can't stand people being too close to me. I really, really hate it. The only person allowed into my personal space without me initiating it is my boyfriend.

Peared

I swear some people think that they will get served quicker in a queue by leaving one millimetre of space between them and you.

If I am in front of soembody who is pressing in to the back of me in their eagernes to, I don't know, get a frickin stamp (post office queuers are the worst culprits) what I do is leave miiillles of space between me and the person in front of me. It really really annoys them. They have to look at all the valuable space that they could be hogging except can't and get really antsy that you're not peering over the shoulder of the person in front of you like they would.

Also sometimes I stay really still, then turn around super quick to bash into them and then say "oh sorrrryyy, I didn't think anybody would be standing so close that they would get bumped into by the mere action of me turning around in my own standing space."

Yeah, sometimes I annoy myself.

Fock it though, get out of my space.

I've never noticed that we have a problem with space invaders.

I have a bugbear though, I hate it when "no right" man touches the small of your back.

GirlInterrupted

Moonbaby wrote: »

I've never noticed that we have a problem with space invaders.

I have a bugbear though, I hate it when "no right" man touches the small of your back.

I have a problem with complete strangers (usually men), stroking my hair.:mad:

GirlInterrupted

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I have a problem with complete strangers (usually men), stroking my hair.:mad:

It is terrible but that has happened so much to me, that it is isn't really that weird anymore. I actually left the last guy away with a tressle while I tried to chat up his mate.
I don't even have particularly nice hair.

Caoimhe89

While I fully understand and respect other people's personal space, I really have very little problem with anyone who I remotely know in any way getting close/innocent touching. I've just always been like that. In some situations it can be a little awkward, i admit, particularly in a club and it's unwanted attention... but generally, I really have so little problem with the whole personal space thing that I don't notice when people invade it!

Peared

Ick. Stroking the hair of women you don't know is one step away from that fella who likes pyjamas too much.

Girl Interrupted, I wouldn't stroke your hair, I'd use it to pull you into the ring after you ran away weeping and pleading for mercy.