Why are women in bars/clubs so nasty?

Porkpie

Was out Saturday night in a bar in town with a couple of mates. We were standing there chatting when 2 girls walked up beside us. They were looking around, maybe looking for other friends or looking for a seat. One of them looked at me a couple of times. I thought (mistakenly!) that she looked approachable and asked her with a smile "are you lost?" in a playful non-threatening manner. She replied "We're lost, but not desperate".

How feckin rude is that? Bear in mind that this was at the start of the night, we were on our first pint. I wasn't being sleazy or anything, just trying to make conversation. My opener was spontaneous and wasn't exactly 'line of the year' or anything, I know, but did it deserve such a wicked reply? She could have just said 'no' or something, or even if she just ignored me and walked off, I could deal with that no problem! But why be so rude?

I know women have to put up with drunken idiots talking crap to them on nights out but I'm not that kind of person. I'm a decent looking, well dressed respectable kind of guy. But looking back on it, I feel that she deserved an "f... off" in response. I'm not that kind of person though. At the time I didn't reply, it just took a minute for me to absorb what she had just said. The two of them then walked off anyway, and that was that.

I'm not tarring all females here with the same brush, and I have talked to some really nice women before but they seem increasingly to be in the minority. My mates agree with me, one of whom has given up trying to chat to women completely. Women just seem so cold and uninterested. Other nights I've been told to f... off, pushed, even threatened. I think I'm turning into a misogynist, can anyone restore my dwindling faith in women?

ntlbell

at least you knew where you stood.

Clare Bear

I don't know why some girls are like that. No matter how many drunken idiots come up to me in a club I will always be at least pleasant with them. Some of my friends are absolute bitches to guys when they're out. Never got it myself and I don't see the need for it but it seems almost acceptable to behave like that.

Then again drunken idiots are annoying, but it's easier to just smile and talk briefly before walking away instead of throwing insults and dirty looks at them.

Cmol

She deserves a big aul slap

who007

Hey I know - but it's an Irish woman thing. Have told non-national women about my similar experiences and they were horrified. said it never happens in their countries. I have fallen prey to the "**** off" answers when I too had just been trying to be nice and polite. I gave up chatting up women a long time ago cos I couldn't be arsed with some little nasty scumbag treating me like dirt in public. Women of quality can be hard to find.
Oh - and one other thing - I notice it's mainly in Dublin it happens.

RubyXI

Self defence. Lash out before someone lashes out at you. Illogical and no need for it but sometimes it makes sense in your head. Specially if you've been messed around before.
She also could just be a bitch.

faceman

Now now, its hardly fair to brand all women with the same brush as the result of your experience. Presume you were in Cafe En Seine?

Look at this way, she pretty much summed up in 2 seconds why she isn't worth dating or being friendly with. Saves you the hassle of finding out the hard way!

I hate when this topic rears its ugly head.
Why do we have to listen to earache, because you hadn't the guts to tell this woman what you thought of her. Or the common sense to take pride in keeping your own dignity.

kmick

Why did'nt you give as good as you got. A reply like "well with teeth/hair/face like yours I'm surprised" would have got a bit of banter going - or alternatively a slap. At least you would have come away with some dignity.

RedXIV

Moonbaby wrote: »

I hate when this topic rears its ugly head.
Why do we have to listen to earache, because you hadn't the guts to tell this woman what you thought of her. Or the common sense to take pride in keeping your own dignity.

Bingo. If she says that to you starting off mate, rip shreds out of her. She asked for it. If she was polite about it like Claire Bear, i'd have no problems leaving her alone but anyone that responds like that would be my target for the night's pranks

who007

faceman wrote: »

Look at this way, she pretty much summed up in 2 seconds why she isn't worth dating or being friendly with. Saves you the hassle of finding out the hard way!

Genius! lol

fatmammycat

'No, I can see you're not desperate, just incredibly rude.'
That's all you have to say in a situation like that. There is no need suggest Irish woman are more rude or for anyone else to perpetrate the foreign women as so much nicer falsehood either. A woman was rude to you-she happened to be Irish- and you didn't pull her up on it. End of.

stovelid

A woman was unnecessarily rude to me on Saturday night too. I'm attached and wasn't chatting her up: just asking her to let me through to the bar.

Don't really see what the big deal is. It's hardly representative of all women, just her. I just returned the rudeness two-fold, got my drink and forgot about it. As should you. It's her problem, not yours.

nomorebadtown

Porkpie wrote:

and asked her with a smile "are you lost?" in a playful non-threatening manner. She replied "We're lost, but not desperate".

hah ha thats an excellent burn, i would have laughed my ass off:D
i find razor sharp wit attractive.

who007

Ehm.. the OP didn't say that about foreign women - I did. Seems women on Boards get real angry real fast about this stuff and post in anger without thinking through what's being said. As for having a go back at the girl - have seen it done and also seen how the barmen take the side of the women automatically and tell the lad to stop hassling them and he's not gonna be served again.
And yuo don't have to get "earache", you are more likely to get "eyeache"

biko

Porkpie wrote: »

I know women have to put up with drunken idiots talking crap to them on nights out but I'm not that kind of person.

I think I'm turning into a misogynist, can anyone restore my dwindling faith in women?

She looked at you a few times because you were looking at her.

Maybe you should try another approach, turning into a woman hater will probably not work for you.

It seems you've met some nice women but remember that they meet far too many idiots to know when some guy is actually nice.

Dragan

The main problem with all these threads ( and there are a lot of them on boards ) seems to be the inability of the man in the story to react and put said woman in her place.

Quicker reactions next time and burn her back mate.

fatmammycat

If that is directed at me there is nothing angry about my comment. I said there is no need for 'anyone' to bring foreign women and their supposed saintliness into the replies.

who007

fatmammycat wrote: »

If that is directed at me there is nothing angry about my comment. I said there is no need for 'anyone' to bring foreign women and their supposed saintliness into the replies.

Not at you in particular and ok sorry, my bad on that, granted. Was just an example of how it may not be ALL women but just those in a certain ehmm.. whatyamacallit - demographic group (if that makes sense?)

fatmammycat

Fair enough.

who007

Kind of ironic though considering my comment about posting in haste!

Puddleduck

Who007 I think Irish women are just sick to the back teeth of being compared to other women around the globe and told they are constantly lacking. A few rotten apples have spoiled the whole bunch apparently and after meeting a few witches all irish women are tarred with the same brush.

OP You were just unfortunate to come across a complete wagon with no manners. Plenty of other women probably would have smiled or made a joke. Dont let it turn you off women in general

Porkpie

who007 wrote: »

Oh - and one other thing - I notice it's mainly in Dublin it happens.

Couldn't agree more. Outside of Dublin women tend to be much more approachable

Moonbaby wrote: »

I hate when this topic rears its ugly head.
Why do we have to listen to earache, because you hadn't the guts to tell this woman what you thought of her. Or the common sense to take pride in keeping your own dignity.

Was it you?

kmick wrote: »

Why did'nt you give as good as you got. A reply like "well with teeth/hair/face like yours I'm surprised" would have got a bit of banter going - or alternatively a slap. At least you would have come away with some dignity.

Firstly because she walked off right after saying it. It took a few seconds to register with me that she was being nasty. She said it nonchalantly with a blank expression. I was thinking 'Did she actually just say that?' It was only after she was a distance away that I said to myself 'Man that was actually really rude, what she just said'.

Anyway, I'm not a pr1ck and wouldn't lower myself to her level by replying in such a manner. That's just not my style.

in2dblue

I agree with Puddleduck
If it had have been me you were talking to I would have been polite and friendly and no way near as rude as that other girl
I can see why you are so annoyed, there was no excuse for her behaviour at all!!
But don't tar us all with the same brush infact I am raging reading through the posts here thinking that no guys will chat to the nice girls now because of the behaviour of these 'bitches' for the want of a better description. No wonder alot of us nice ones are still single
I hope the experience doesn't deter you in the future

jellie

oh good idea, post in the LADIES lounge about how irish girls are so rude & horrible. & then throw in a comment about how foreign girls are so much nicer.

the majority of posters here are irish and women. we're all lovely :pac: stop comparing us to the random rude cows you come across on a night out.

TerrorFirmer

The girls POV:

in2dblue

Even if someone wasnt considered great looking like the pic above it's still no reason why a girl should be rude!!

who007

in2dblue wrote: »

I agree with Puddleduck
If it had have been me you were talking to I would have been polite and friendly and no way near as rude as that other girl
I can see why you are so annoyed, there was no excuse for her behaviour at all!!
But don't tar us all with the same brush infact I am raging reading through the posts here thinking that no guys will chat to the nice girls now because of the behaviour of these 'bitches' for the want of a better description. No wonder alot of us nice ones are still single
I hope the experience doesn't deter you in the future

in2dblue - I think the OP isn't really tarring all women with the same brush (and none of us are really) he/we are just recounting bad experiences and asking why these women in particular are such bitches. I have met many lovely women who have been nice to chat to and some (in hindsight!) whe were very nice to me when I was drunk and talking absolute sh1te. Just havin a bit of a rant - similar to how smoe women say men and shrug their shoulders and then ball b*st*rds or whatever - not all tghos ewomen actually mean that - they are just blowing off steam.

As for the comparison - I understand that, but I think it's a fair point to make when culturally, on the surface it does look like an "Irish" thing in this case...

who007

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

The girls POV:

LOL!! Classic! :D:D

who007

sar84 wrote: »

oh good idea, post in the LADIES lounge about how irish girls are so rude & horrible. & then throw in a comment about how foreign girls are so much nicer.

the majority of posters here are irish and women. we're all lovely :pac: stop comparing us to the random rude cows you come across on a night out.

Ooppss.. I just saw the thread on te main page. Didn't realise I'd wandered nito the Ladies Lounge..

*backs off quietly towards the door*

Kintarō Hattori

It's been said before but I'll say it again

---

> foreign wimmins ftw!

Porkpie

in2dblue wrote: »

I agree with Puddleduck
If it had have been me you were talking to I would have been polite and friendly and no way near as rude as that other girl
I can see why you are so annoyed, there was no excuse for her behaviour at all!!
But don't tar us all with the same brush infact I am raging reading through the posts here thinking that no guys will chat to the nice girls now because of the behaviour of these 'bitches' for the want of a better description. No wonder alot of us nice ones are still single
I hope the experience doesn't deter you in the future

Puddleduck, cheers for the positive outlook. Totally agree with you, and just want to reiterate that I'm in no way tarring all women with the same brush, I know there's plenty of nice girls out there too. And I didn't want to make this thread an 'Irish women' thing either. I will pick myself up and try again, it hasn't turned me off women completely. Anyway I know that bars and clubs aren't always the best places for meeting women.

Apologies for the rant, I'm sure there are loads of other threads like this lurking in the site, but I just had to get that off my chest!

Porkpie

Porkpie wrote: »

Was it you?

I was at a concert over christmas.
This lad was trying to chat me up during my favorite song. I had been talking to him and his friends before. I explained to him that even though he didn't like music, this was my a highlight for me. And I'd chat to him when it was over. I explained this 3 times. He did not take my disinterest well.
So he grabbed me by the throat to attract my interest.

Does that sound at all familar?

Kintarō Hattori

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

It's been said before but I'll say it again

---

> foreign wimmins ftw!

That was not what you said during your mini-break....

who007

Moonbaby wrote: »

I was at a concert over christmas.
This lad was trying to chat me up during my favorite song. I had been talking to him and his friends before. I explained to him that even though he didn't like music, this was my a highlight for me. And I'd chat to him when it was over. I explained this 3 times. He did not take my disinterest well.
So he grabbed me by the throat to attract my interest.

Does that sound at all familar?

:eek::eek::eek:
Holy Sh*t!!!

panda100

Ahhhhh ,we get one of these threads at least ever other week on TLL!

Rudeness isnt gender specific.I have met guys who have been incredibly rude to me on nights out. In fact when I was out last week I was at the bar,started chatting to a guy and he just said 'Sorry love but I wouldnt date a beanpole'. Im 6'1.

Some people, wether male or female, are always going to be rude little pricks,its best just to give them a wide berth and dont even dignify their catty remarks with a response. That or step on their toes really hard ,by accident of course, when your leaving the bar

who007

who007 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:
Holy Sh*t!!!

And then he made his girl friend take pictures of me.
And he wasn't drunk.

who007

panda100 wrote: »

Ahhhhh ,we get one of these threads at least ever other week on TLL!

Rudeness isnt gender specific.I have met guys who have been incredibly rude to me on nights out. In fact when I was out last week I was at the bar,started chatting to a guy and he just said 'Sorry love but I wouldnt date a beanpole'. Im 6'1.

Some people, wether male or female, are always going to be rude little pricks,its best just to give them a wide berth and dont even dignify their catty remarks with a response. That or step on their toes really hard ,by accident of course, when your leaving the bar

Wow - that is INCREDIBLY rude! Never realised (honestly) that such men existed! Can only apologise on behalf of the rest of us!

Partizan

I was out on Saturday night in Dublin (live here but not a native) I came across some lovely well mannered Irish girls. First in Flannerys then in D2. I was at the bar in D2 and got chatting to this nice bird from Longford. A stunning bird and we hit it off. Only problem she was attached. I would have asked her out no problem.

I'm sorry for you OP that you came across some wagons but at the end of the day give me an Irish cailin. I havent dated an Irish girl in years. I have lived abroad and having dated Bulgarian, Serbian, Latvian and Polish girls, I am still longing for an irish girl. They have that natural beauty both outside but most importantly on the inside. I guess its each to his own.

who007

Moonbaby wrote: »

And then he made his girl friend take pictures of me.
And he wasn't drunk.

No, but he sounds like he should be in prison. And he had a girlfriend with him? Too many questions arise about that dude!

who007

who007 wrote: »

No, but he sounds like he should be in prison. And he had a girlfriend with him? Too many questions arise about that dude!

He had a bevvy of lady friends with him, that is how i got talking to him in the first place.

Fajitas!

ntlbell wrote: »

at least you knew where you stood.

Exactly;

faceman wrote: »

Look at this way, she pretty much summed up in 2 seconds why she isn't worth dating or being friendly with. Saves you the hassle of finding out the hard way!

There you go, consider it an idiot filter - If someone's going to be that rude, then you move on, now in the knowledge that it wouldn't have been worth the effort of a full on conversation.

As stated before, it's not all women, just the rude'uns out there (gender unspecified before I get crucified).

*runs from Ladies Lounge until the next interesting thread comes up on the front page*

who007

Moonbaby wrote: »

He had a bevvy of lady friends with him, that is how i got talking to him in the first place.

Feck's sake - what kind of women wanna hang around a guy who'll grab a woman by the throat with no provocation? Boggles the mind!

scanlas

Threads like these really do highlight how insecure your average guy is. A guy who is secure isn't bothered by any rude remarks made towards him. He doesn't feel the need to say something back. He might say something back for fun but not so he feels good about himself again. Some people need to have a good hard look at themselves.

Alarums

Moonbaby wrote: »

So he grabbed me by the throat to attract my interest.

What a tool. Sorry that happened to you. A few experiences like this would be more than enough reason for you to start tarring all men with the one brush, but it sounds like you haven't. Good for you. Us men have to do the same. I am also sick of hearing about how crappy Irish women are in comparison to foreign ones. I just think we are too wary of each other at this stage.

iseeyou

She probably was just a bitch, and there are plenty of them around. Its unfair to say that Dublin girls are not as nice as country girls.
I wouldnt pay much attention if I was you, I was with my boyfriend in a club a couple of months ago and he said to his friend when he was at the bar "so are we gonna stay here or head off" and some "Lady" butted in and said "Well if yous are staying then we are leaving", and she trotted off like some little diva, he was a bit put out by it because he wasnt even talking to her and she just took an oppurtunity I wouldnt let it put you off talking to women there are plenty of nice girls out there

DM-BM

sar84 wrote: »

oh good idea, post in the LADIES lounge about how irish girls are so rude & horrible. & then throw in a comment about how foreign girls are so much nicer.

the majority of posters here are irish and women. we're all lovely :pac: stop comparing us to the random rude cows you come across on a night out.

Are you referring to the OP here? Because he didn't make any comment about foreign girls being nicer.

who007

scanlas wrote: »

Threads like these really do highlight how insecure your average guy is. A guy who is secure isn't bothered by any rude remarks made towards him. He doesn't feel the need to say something back. He might say something back for fun but not so he feels good about himself again. Some people need to have a good hard look at themselves.

and what? women are so secure about themselves that they don't give a toss if a bloke says something nasty to them?

Why are they so bothered about being compared to foreign women then? cop on

justsomebloke

ye I'd have to say I am surprised by the amount of people who are basically saying you should of given as good as you got. Seriously what is the point in that? Does being a rude arsehole back make it all good?

As some people have said before this is just girls that do this and it isn't just irish girls that do it either as I have had similar experiences in other countries from local women and I wasn't even trying to hit on them.

jellie

DM-BM wrote: »

Are you referring to the OP here? Because he didn't make any comment about foreign girls being nicer.

no not the OP specifically about the foreign girls, but its already been mentioned in the thread a few times. it gets very tiring to see the weekly thread in the LL about how irish girls are rude/ugly/whatever & then someone will jump in with how foreign girls are better.. blah blah blah.

it just gets old to be told that irish girls are crap while everyone else is great just because someone has a bad experience with one woman, when anyone who posts in the LL regularly will tell you that theres plenty of lovely ladies on here.

tLL = the Lovely Ladies :pac:

who007

sar84 wrote: »

no not the OP specifically about the foreign girls, but its already been mentioned in the thread a few times. it gets very tiring to see the weekly thread in the LL about how irish girls are rude/ugly/whatever & then someone will jump in with how foreign girls are better.. blah blah blah.

it just gets old to be told that irish girls are crap while everyone else is great just because someone has a bad experience with one woman, when anyone who posts in the LL regularly will tell you that theres plenty of lovely ladies on here.

tLL = the Lovely Ladies :pac:

That's a fair point sar and we didn't mean it!