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How to fix The Recession

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  • 25-01-2009 7:00pm
    #1
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭


    Put a big hoover in the Dáil and suck up all their money.

    Obviously this wouldn't exactly be legal since the TDs wouldn't agree to it, so we'd get Batman to do it. He's on honest guy, he'd use the money to buy all the banks and sort them out. Then he'd commission a giant statue in his honour and construction jobs would be created.

    No need to thank me folks.
    Tagged:


«1

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    #2
    Saibh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,431 ✭✭✭✭Saibh


    phasers wrote: »
    Put a big hoover in the Dáil and suck up all their money.

    Obviously this wouldn't exactly be legal since the TDs wouldn't agree to it, so we'd get Batman to do it. He's on honest guy, he'd use the money to buy all the banks and sort them out. Then he'd commission a giant statue in his honour and construction jobs would be created.

    No need to thank me folks.

    How not to fix a recession


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    #3
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    It can't be fixed, we just gotta get away from it.;)


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    #4
    Four-Percent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 873 ✭✭✭Four-Percent


    I can see this plan working, if by money you mean breakfast rolls, and if by hoover you mean Mary Harney.


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    #5
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Four-Percent wrote: »
    I can see this plan working, if by money you mean breakfast rolls, and if by hoover you mean Mary Harney.

    You could hide a lot of money up her crack, :rolleyes:


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    #6
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Stage one: Make becoming a politician a non-waged/perked volunteer occupation/vocation.
    See how many of the money grabbing wasters will stick around then!


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    #7
    freire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭freire


    Why not a 'destruction industry'? We could pay all the now jobless construction workers to dismantle the hundreds of thousands of houses we didn't need after all. Then with the burgeoning destruction industry in full flight, migrants would return and we'd need to build the houses again in order for them to live in while they dismantled the others, meet in the middle and start all over again. Flawless logic I think you'll agree.


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    #8
    deadhead13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,034 ✭✭✭deadhead13


    Unfortunately, very few of those houses are paid for, which is a big part of the problem.


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    #9
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 24,011 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    freire wrote: »
    Why not a 'destruction industry'? We could pay all the now jobless construction workers to dismantle the hundreds of thousands of houses we didn't need after all. Then with the burgeoning destruction industry in full flight, migrants would return and we'd need to build the houses again in order for them to live in while they dismantled the others, meet in the middle and start all over again. Flawless logic I think you'll agree.

    Yep, we could do with a Legoland.


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    #10
    sdanseo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,233 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    phasers wrote: »
    Put a big hoover in the Dáil and suck up all their money the useless cnuts in there.


    Fixed. :D


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    #11
    freire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭freire


    deadhead13 wrote: »
    Unfortunately, very few of those houses are paid for, which is a big part of the problem.
    Curses.


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    #12
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Ignore it and it might go away, Bertie did that for 18 months.:rolleyes:
    He probably doesn't think it's happened at all , perched in his ivory tower.:rolleyes:


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    #13
    ronnie3585
    Registered Users Posts: 6,675 ✭✭✭ronnie3585


    Kickboxing.


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    #14
    m5ex9oqjawdg2i
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,221 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    We could start shutting the fcuk up about it... that would be a start. Talking about it doesn't seem to be working.


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    #15
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    We could start writing Irish scam letters, seems to work ok for the Nigerians.:D
    Hello friend, I am attorney for the late Irish Goverment official...................


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    #16
    Nolanger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,556 ✭✭✭Nolanger


    Get rid of the 'nice people' with fantastic communication skills working in Dept Finance and hire some sh*t hot economists.
    That's the reason we're in this mess.


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    #17
    sdanseo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,233 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    Miranda Brave Ghost wrote: »
    We could start shutting the fcuk up about it... that would be a start. Talking about it doesn't seem to be working.

    You must have it in for boards.ie Ltd - if we did that, traffic in AH would drop by about 50% :rolleyes:


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    #18
    Tech3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,010 ✭✭✭Tech3


    spend, spend, spend and stop living the fear of the recession.


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    #19
    freire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭freire


    tech2 wrote: »
    spend, spend, spend and stop living the fear of the recession.

    Dunno about others but about all I got to spend is time, hence posting inane comments on here.


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    #20
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users Posts: 17,187 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    Nolanger wrote: »
    Get rid of the 'nice people' with fantastic communication skills working in Dept Finance and hire some sh*t hot economists.
    That's the reason we're in this mess.

    Bertie Ahern? Brian Cowen? Brian Lenihan?

    A Stutterer, 2 fat lads and 3 idiots, excellent communications skills there.


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    #21
    iPlop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,822 ✭✭✭iPlop


    Lads the construction industry will be booming soon with all them new dole offices bieng built --economy fixed:D


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    #22
    sdanseo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,233 ✭✭✭sdanseo


    Septic Leper wrote: »
    Lads the construction industry will be booming soon with all them new dole offices bieng built --economy fixed:D

    We should do what Obama plans to do - build new roads and railways and generally improve our infrastructure, whilst employing people rather than having them be on the dole. Then when the economy does bounce back, eventually, we have a first-class public transport system waiting for it.

    The only problem is funding it, but that can be put on the long finger in times of crisis, or substituted from less important things. That or let private companies operate the things, as has been done very successfully with the LUAS.


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    #23
    monkeyfudge
    Registered Users Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    But Batman is already a billionaire....


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    #24
    eVeNtInE
    Registered Users Posts: 7,020 ✭✭✭eVeNtInE


    This post has been deleted.


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    #25
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    You fix it by spending money you don't have.

    Simple right?


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    #26
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,523 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    ClioV6 wrote: »
    You fix it by spending money you don't have.

    Simple right?

    Didn't work out the best for zimbabwe.
    Personally I think a showtrial is in order.


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    #27
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    but I want one trillion euros


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    #28
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,523 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    A one trillion euro note would be rather cool. I endorse your sound economic policies as does Eddie Hobbs who is tied up in my cellar.


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    #29
    friendface
    Registered Users Posts: 812 ✭✭✭friendface


    phasers wrote: »
    Put a big hoover in the Dáil and suck up all their money.

    Obviously this wouldn't exactly be legal since the TDs wouldn't agree to it, so we'd get Batman to do it. He's on honest guy, he'd use the money to buy all the banks and sort them out. Then he'd commission a giant statue in his honour and construction jobs would be created.

    No need to thank me folks.

    Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.


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    #30
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,647 ✭ [Deleted User]


    phasers wrote: »
    Put a big hoover in the Dáil and suck up all their money.

    Obviously this wouldn't exactly be legal since the TDs wouldn't agree to it, so we'd get Batman to do it. He's on honest guy, he'd use the money to buy all the banks and sort them out. Then he'd commission a giant statue in his honour and construction jobs would be created.

    No need to thank me folks.

    If it was 2006, it could have been done wih a roundhouse kick.:(


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    #31
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Print more euros! \o/


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