WAR between scientists!

Trance

1) Physicists/Mathmaticians
2) Chemists
3) Biologists
4) Computer Scientists

At a massive and worldwide televised conference for scientists, a discussion about which science has been the most beneficial to mankind becomes volatile. An arguement breaks out and as a result, 7 scientists are shot live on air. This causes uproar in the scientific community and a full scale global war erupts.
Which group ultimately would reign victorious, wiping out all who appose them?

I believe it's the physicists. We would control all heavy weapons and machinery. We have nukes at our disposal and satellites to spy on our enemies. The biologists would get completely wiped out, erradicated and squashed. They'd have absolutely no way of retaliating.

Trance

Trance wrote: »

The biologists would get completely wiped out, erradicated and squashed. They'd have absolutely no way of retaliating.[/COLOR]

Biological weapons?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

surely mathematicians could just divide by zero, ultimate suicide bomb.

Creature

Chemists. Every good chemist carries a vial of hydrogen cyanide for situation such as this.

sunnyjim

Creature you imbecile, we're hardly gonna kill of them pesky number crunchers by topping ourselves :mad:

I think the physicists have us on this, what with the lasers and the nuclear bombs and the gloyvan! We'll let them think they've won - and we'll be underground, with our hands waiting to turn the valves so that tons of nerve gases are released into the atmhosphere...

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Morbert

Trance wrote: »

I believe it's the physicists. We would control all heavy weapons and machinery. We have nukes at our disposal and satellites to spy on our enemies. The biologists would get completely wiped out, erradicated and squashed. They'd have absolutely no way of retaliating.

To fire the missiles, we'd need some sort of guidance system software.

hobochris

Morbert wrote: »

To fire the missiles, we'd need some sort of guidance system software.

sounds like a possible alliance between the Physicists & the computer scientists...the plot thickens

hobochris

hobochris wrote: »

sounds like a possible alliance between the Physicists & the computer scientists...the plot thickens

What about fuel for the rock propulsion? Chemists may need to be involved too...

amen

Physicists would win of course

all the other sciences can be explained in terms of physics/maths and in fact they couldn't do their job without our breakthroughs.

Of course the physicists/maths might have to have a war afterwards!

KnifeWRENCH

Boring answer: They're all interdependent and of equal importance.

Boards answer: Physics = Win.

Overheal

computer geeks would google everyone else's work and put it together like some twisted chimera of a doomsday weapon. Or simply program skynet and laugh from a bunker somewhere.

tenacious-me

Biological sciences!

Bioweapons-Microbiology
super soldier army-genetics
Chemi-bio weapons(Ricin)&(VX Gas)- Biochemistry
Etc...

Akrasia

Trance wrote: »

1) Physicists/Mathmaticians
2) Chemists
3) Biologists
4) Computer Scientists

At a massive and worldwide televised conference for scientists, a discussion about which science has been the most beneficial to mankind becomes volatile. An arguement breaks out and as a result, 7 scientists are shot live on air. This causes uproar in the scientific community and a full scale global war erupts.
Which group ultimately would reign victorious, wiping out all who appose them?

I believe it's the physicists. We would control all heavy weapons and machinery. We have nukes at our disposal and satellites to spy on our enemies. The biologists would get completely wiped out, erradicated and squashed. They'd have absolutely no way of retaliating.

nuclear weapons would be useless in this kind of conflict as they are too indiscriminate. Biologists could potentially develop a kind of virus that could attack the higher mathematical function of the brain (but they would have to have been planning this war in secret for years to develop that kind of technology)

Manach

The Geologists would win of course, with the secret army of cloned dinosaurs. Did ye not see Jurassic Park?

taram

Manach wrote: »

The Geologists would win of course, with the secret army of cloned dinosaurs. Did ye not see Jurassic Park?

Ah but that'll be mostly biology, which will ultimately conqueur all. (Mwhahaha) Naturally :P biologists have a plethora of weapons at their disposal, we'll just withhold food, medicine and alcohol, maybe even sex if we can get some anti-viagra genetically modified into your food :P

Capt'n Midnight

taram wrote: »

we can get some anti-viagra genetically modified into your food :P

It already exists. It's called wedding cake.

Futurism

Can't everyone just get on?

Capt'n Midnight

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cuttlefish.png


Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one.

tatabubbly

I reckon phyicists or chemists.... crush the biologists like flies...

If there was a war, computer scientists would freak out... there'd be no electricity to turn on the computer....

velocirafter

tatabubbly wrote: »

I reckon phyicists or chemists.... crush the biologists like flies...

If there was a war, computer scientists would freak out... there'd be no electricity to turn on the computer....

I think you're on to something, the computer scientists are too relient on infastructure, with a few targeted hits from the physicists they could take out the electric grid and the internet.... but if the computer scientists were clever enough they would have taken a copy of Wikipedia before the physicists had time to strike....their retaliation would rely on their ability to absord relevant information and adapt to new forms of non technological warfare, but I think it's too much to ask.


The biologists haven't a chance against the chemists, they'll be trying to evolve some giant fly trapper plants while the world is crumbling around them. The chemists should be able to throw some cyanide/chloroform/napalm together and wipe them out before breakfast.


So the final stage.....we can assume at this stage that most infrastructure, technological and physical, has been destroyed or severly damaged. The physicists should have been able to construct some crude but effective medievil style weapons, crossbows, catapults and that sort of thing.
The only chance I can see for the chemists is if they can get some guys in behind enemy lines and poison some prominent figures in the physics movement. They have no way of deploying a chemical weapon to cause widespead damage so if they get into a fistfight the physicists have them by the balls.


In summary I think the physicists would win

Capt'n Midnight

tatabubbly wrote: »

I reckon phyicists or chemists.... crush the biologists like flies...

If there was a war, computer scientists would freak out... there'd be no electricity to turn on the computer....

UPS FTW

Technician 1: Wat a minute! We can just shut off the power!
Technician 2: No such luck. It's solar powered.
Technician 1: [disgusted] Solar power. When will people learn?

Capt'n Midnight

velocirafter wrote:

The chemists should be able to throw some cyanide/chloroform/napalm together and wipe them out before breakfast.D

Aren't you forgetting about Pneumonic plague ?

Of course throwing bees nests at people so the bears will go for the honey

velocirafter

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Aren't you forgetting about Pneumonic plague ?

Of course throwing bees nests at people so the bears will go for the honey

If they release a plague they will wipe themselves out aswell, it'll will take far too long to engineer it to infect only people who studied physics/chemistry/computer science. In the mean time the chemists could have slipped some LSD into their cornflakes.

Capt'n Midnight

no engineering needed it's natural ,
all they need is a vaccination OR they can just infect everyone and only treat themselves.

IrishKnight

Biological FTW...

How do you think H1N1 came about?! :P

thebouldwhacker

As an ex-chemist I am confident us lab rats would win...(can one become an ex-chemist, or a non-practicing chemist, perhaps lapsed chemist???) we know how to melt your flesh off just using everyday house hold products. All we would need to do is for each of us to hide in a kitchen press of our chosen enemy and when they open the said press and reach in for a tasty snack BOOM your a bio stain in your own home. Victory would be swift.

Fluffybums

Biologists: transfect some bacteria with a sequence for some deadly toxin (which has an antidote) and the codes to allow expression. Transfect some other bugs to express the antidote. The basic chemistry required to extract the antidote would be well within the capabilities of most biologists. Provide the antidote to the biologists and release the toxic bugs voila!

Of course, the bilogists would be making use of their chemistry, physics and computer science capabilities so I guess the question is moot:o.

jumpguy

I'm gonna stick up for biologists here! Biologists can use diseases and genetical engineering (imagine giant attack suicide monkeys invading a city - you are F**CKED). Or super-soldiers.... Biologists also have lethal disease attacks. If anthrax was released, it was devastate everywhere and render cities and countrysides uninhabital for decades. Best of all, there is no chance of it spreading to your country (unless your backstabbed by a fellow biologist).

A physicist can only use nukes and heavy armoury, all of which have a defence - missile shields, heavy, heavy-duty bunkers. It's just conventional war really.

dfx-

Chemists. One big vat of HF poured over physicists and their pesky instruments & the biologists and computer engineers would see sense and run:cool:

HF rulez :pac:

the_syco

By Computer Scientists, you mean hackers, yes?

JC 2K3

Lol. Computer Scientists, easily.

How are the Physicists, Chemists or Biologists going to fight when the computers controlling their nukes, satellites, biological weapons, chemical weapons etc. have all been taken down - or used against them?

Computers are far, far too pervasive for there to be any other outcome.

Bajingo

Biologists will win for sure after making an alliance with the chemists.

After deploying all of their missiles the physicists would soon realise that all they managed to accomplish was the extinction of all geologists who were out in the stupidly out in the field at the time! All of the worthwhile biologists and chemists were in their underground labs at the time. Having no nuclear missiles or radioactive ores left (that was the geologists job) they are left extremely vulnerable.

The Bio-Chem alliance then send out their first wave of giant genetically modified cockroaches equiped with bullet/laser proof uniforms and chemical brain altering helmets(to ensure obedience)..thankyou chemists.

Before the nuclear launch all computer scientists were taken out by an elite team of part time physicists/Judo yellow belts who were subsequently eliminated by the physicist secret police.

Not too far fetched in my opinion at all:p

legologic

Physicists clearly

Nukes, lasers, etc.

They wouldn't need computer scientists as computational physics covers that. They wouldn't need chemists as well... it's a branch of particle physics that deals with the electron. I think Pauli solved chemisty once :P . As for biologists... sure you can create bio toxins etc but try build a bomb to deploy em!

Tea_Bag

Trance wrote: »

I believe it's the physicists. We would control all heavy weapons and machinery. We have nukes at our disposal and satellites to spy on our enemies.

Dos attack the **** outta your nukes and send them flying back home.

Bajingo

Why do physicists get all the nukes? Engineers are the guys who build them and are a lot tougher than physicists and would take them.

Bajingo

Bajingo wrote: »

Why do physicists get all the nukes? Engineers are the guys who build them and are a lot tougher than physicists and would take them.

An engineer is just an applied physicist, who in turn is just an applied mathematician.:pac:

Outkast_IRE

Computer scientists will be the most sought after, most of the high tech labs will have computer security ........
Computer scientists to form an uneasy alliance with maths/phy you then have a deadly combo of wmds whilst a denial of the best labs to the opposition.
This should really be made into a game

El Siglo

Ah no, you're forgetting about the best 'scientists' of all....
Geographers!;)

-> Okay, I'm getting my coat!

Personally, I think Physicists and Mathematicians would still win just for the sheer brilliance of this. So you can keep you VX, Sarin, Botox, Small Pox to yourselves, this thing would obliterate them!

Capt'n Midnight

dfx- wrote: »

Chemists. One big vat of HF poured over physicists and their pesky instruments & the biologists and computer engineers would see sense and run:cool:

HF rulez :pac:

HF ruins :pac:

Liquid Fluorine is so much more fun.

But once Iron has a coating for Fluoride it doesn't get attacked further so it's not the universal solvent you'd think it was. I had some universal solvent at home but the bottle leaked


War hasn't yet killed off as many as Smallpox Or Malaria, or possibly even Flu.
and because the agents are self replicating logistics is not a problem.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000596.htm

Certain forms of the plague can be spread from human to human. When someone with pneumonic plague coughs, microscopic droplets carrying the infection move through the air. Anyone who breathes in these particles may catch the disease.
...
Almost all people with pneumonic plague die if not treated. Treatment reduces the death rate to 50%.
...
A vaccination is available for high-risk workers, but its effectiveness is not clearly established.

mawk

my money is on the engineers tbh..

*edit
except civil engineers, those guys only ever build targets

Gurgle

"Computer scientists"
Theres an oxymoron if ever I heard one.
And the physicists would kick ass all the way.

clartharlear

-JammyDodger- wrote: »

An engineer is just an applied physicist, who in turn is just an applied mathematician.:pac:

locum-motion

The economists/accountants/financial guys would win.

The scavengers and parasites always survive to feed upon the rest!

Akrasia

I wanna change my vote. I originally said Biologists cause they could engineer a virus, but after reviewing all 3 terminator movies, the computer scientists would clearly have the upper hand...

downside being, after the war was over, the artificial intelligence would simply take over and the obese immobile warcraft addicted computer scientists would be helpless against them.

nyarlothothep

math dudes, they have default mastery over physics and computer science if the whim takes them.

Flamed Diving

History has shown that nothing quite wipes out an entire population like a good germ.

Biologists win.