Hate myself physically.. Mainly my height..

thebigcheese22

Hey I'm 5 foot 6! And while I wish I could have been taller it doesn't bother me coz I know I cant do anything about it

LegacyUser

You have some self-esteem body image problems which might be related to other depression problems so I would maybe check that out - GP, school or uni counsellor etc. You can work on these things... absolutely. Don't be afraid to go and talk to someone. Don't feel negative about how you look - just accept that maybe you need to ask someone with some pro experience for advice.

I had horrible body image problems when I was younger, related to depression and mental issues. I tore myself apart physically and well the depression ran me down and I was pretty ill.

After many years of working on it (I'm not saying it will take you years - I had some pretty large obstacles to overcome on the way!), I am now much better able to deal with my problems and I'm much healthier. The funny thing is that being much healthier I'm also about 3 stone heavier and I wonder why I ever worried when I was younger.

Sometimes I hate my body. I look at it and I shudder and I'm disgusted and repulsed and all those horrible feelings come back. But I've learnt how to deal with them - how to tell them to go away. Other times I feel confident in myself. I wiggle with confidence! My big wide hips and my wobbly tummy don't make me any less beautiful. I am beautiful! I know that.

Oh yeah, and I do like shorter, slimmer guys. Everyone likes different things. I sometimes am amused by how my little and large relationship works. I'm 5ft 4in, size 14, big hipped, big boobed, just generally wide (!!) and I walk along with my 5ft 9in boyf, slender wee thing that he is (but strong - you don't have to massive or ridiculously muscley to be strong!) and I think we make an interesting match. But he loves my body and I love his.

Húrin

Unreg09 wrote: »

I have nothing. It's scary to say it but I guess this could just be natural selection hmm? Only the strong and naturally blessed humans survive.. And the likes of me are supposed to just die off..

This is rubbish. Natural selection doesn't apply to us humans.

You're only 19. I'm sure you're brilliant without consciously knowing it yet. Most of the other posters have given good advice.

partyatmygaff

5,9 is hardly short to be saying the truth.


If you want to act manly the best way is to walk with a slight swagger (slight shoulder movement)

LegacyUser

Alright, here we go.

Obviously you have a problem. But I can understand completly why somthing like image (especially height) can make you crazy. Alot of guys fall short of perfect, and so many girls put guys into their own personal category to be what they want them to be. Now, you say you have nothing good about yourself. Do you play an instrument? do you write? are you good at sports? Are you creative? these are things that somewhat make up for being less than perfect. Physically I am far from perfect. I have a baby face, and i have a slight hunchback. But I can put on muscle quite easily and have a v shaped body framed (broad shoulders) However Because of my lack of bone density and my height, Im not strong or anything above average.

Now back to height...This part of my reply probably wont be pleasent to hear, but its time to put things to rest. You have been measered at 5'9.5. That means your true height is probably around 5'9 or 5'8.75 because you shrink during the day. Now height is a GIANT factor for girls. I cant tell you how many girls have turned down guys who are short like (5'7) but you might still have trouble at 5'9 since it is indeed quite a short height for a full grown man. I have been measured at 5'9 as well and Its hard to compare yourself to other young men who average about 5'11-to 6'2 these days. I feel your pain about your dad being so tall and you being so short, my father is 6'2 and all of my uncles and cousins are even taller than him. I get the rep for being short all the time at home, as well as with my friends.

How I survived I don't know, but Im still here and enjoying life. I don't care what people think of me and Im a damn good guitarist to boot. Just stop being overly critical about yourself, find things in life that make you happy. Don't let other people rule your life, live your own and get what you want. thats my philosophy and its helped me along the way.

LegacyUser

It's the OP here. Was surprised to see my thread revived this late.

Meant to reply at some point around the time I started getting responses but put it off as I was far from in the mood. When it drifted to the next page I decided not to knock it back up. I am thankful to all those who replied and the attention. Of course replying this late, it's easy to have suspicions on wether or not I'm the original poster. All I can do is assure you that I am the OP.

^ To the last poster, you are a similar height to me and can relate. Not just that but you are also a guitarist, as I am also. I'm a talented guitarist and really it's the only thing that's good about myself. However I would gladly give up my talent in return for an instant 3 inches without even thinking about it. Height is everything to me now.

After doing a lot of research into the procedure I am considering having Leg Lengthening some time in the near future. Even though it would knock my proportions out of whack thanks to my already longer than average legs.... It's the most effective and really the only option. Unlike you I just cannot sit back and continue life without concern for my height. The past few weeks I have been waking up in the morning and checking my height a number of times desperately hoping to see that I have grown a bit with no joy.. It needs to be changed or I won't be able to live out my life. Thats it.

cantdecide

Unreg09 wrote: »

Unlike you I just cannot sit back and continue life without concern for my height. The past few weeks I have been waking up in the morning and checking my height a number of times desperately hoping to see that I have grown a bit with no joy.. It needs to be changed or I won't be able to live out my life. Thats it.

You must understand that if you were 5'3", the posts would have been much different.

Very very few would be heard to say that 5'9" is anything other than a good average. If you walk down any street, you will pass lots of men much chorter than you. The point is that aspiring to better yourself is one thing eg, getting braces to correct bad teeth but you seem to have an unhealthy fixation on your pefectly acceptable height.

Going through painful surgery that is intended for much shorter people than you is proof of this. The fact that you are prepared to exaggerate your already long legs is even more worrying.

I would suggest and I wager that few will disagree, that if you were determined to have this done, you should still see someone. I dare say that any specialist would suggest the same...

ForTheLoveOf_Fi

its obvious you have low self esteem and you are merely focsing on your height to have somthing to focus on. i have to warn you it may not change- do not get your hopes up. your best bet is to wall tall (metaphorically) chin up and smile. its much nicer to see someone happy than down and dwelling on things that are just the way they are.

let me give you some perspective. my best friend is 5ft5. he walks with a smile and is always upbeat and is much loved. now the best part, my boyfriend is 6ft9. no kidding. now he is extreemly self concious as he is medicallly classed as a 'giant'. he realised about 6 months ago that nothing can be done and him wallowing isnt going to do anything for him. i love him to bits and am most proud of him for his courage.
now i know this is the opposite to your case but im trying to point out that wat ever physical attribute you believe is a negative be it a small thing or everything it can me overcome by accepting yourself. you have to accept yourself before other peole will.

and one last word of advice: if it aint broke, dont fix it.
you are 19, a year older than myself, and you have your whole life ahead of you. you wana take all obstacles that come your way head on, not half heartedly because of you insecurities.
good luck, private mail me if you wish to speak to me further. X

LegacyUser

There are always advantages of being taller/bigger. While I do except that taller than average (or unusually tall) people can have disadvantages and reason to feel depressed, it's certainly not as bad as being on the opposite end (shorter than the majority or unusually short).. The few disadvantages of being tall and strong simply do not match up to or compare to the disadvantages of being short {and weak}. In fact there are no advantages to being short and weak. There are MANY advantages to being tall (and thus strong).

At least if one is tall he can rest in the comfort that he is physically stronger/superior to any idiot who might try to make fun of him..

Wibbs

I'm around the 6 foot mark and I can tell you there are plenty of 5"1 women that could give me a hiding. Strengths got nada to do with it. Sexual attractiveness? Give me a break. The most successful bloke I know on that score with women is about 5 5(he could be less. My mates tend to worry if I produce a measuring tape).

I would tend to agree with some of the other posters. It seems like an issue with you that has gone towards the unhealthy end over time. Everyone has some body issue or something they're self conscious of. That's fine enough, but when it gets to the point of an obsession then it's not so fine. YOu have youth, talent and health on your side, but that matters little in the face of this issue of yours.

I think some sort of counseling would be money far better spent than looking into surgery, because chances are, even if it worked, something else would be an issue. If you can fix the reason not the symptom then you will be a happier bunny all around.

mutualismo

I am a couple of inches shorter than the poster and I have thought about it and finally realised that I don't care. I've never been in a fight and probably will never be. I've never needed to intimidate anyone physically, and never been intimidated by anyone (ok, maybe when I played rugby).

Short guys: Nicolas Sarkozy, Bono, Neil Hannon, Al Pacino. You think these guys can't stand up for themselves?

If you think that height is a big deal for women, then you're right. Some of them. But I'm about 5'6 or 5'7 and I've been in love with some brilliant women. Most of my friends around my height have too, and the older ones are married. It's true that I have poor chances with immature/shallow girls, drunk girls in a nightclub, or girls taller than me who couldn't deal with going out with somebody shorter than them, but I can live with that.

The real questions are: are you a fun guy to be around? Can you make a women feel good? Do you live a life you're proud of?

You mentioned that you would swap your music ability for 3 inches. That's a bit sad, don't you think? What else would you swap - your intelligence? Your honesty? Your integrity?

I think you should consider getting professional counselling to find out what's really bothering you. There's no shame in that. Many people with more serious issues will never seek counselling. But if you really want to find out what's going on and get on a more productive route, that is the way forward.

mutualismo

Unreg09 wrote: »

TAt least if one is tall he can rest in the comfort that he is physically stronger/superior to any idiot who might try to make fun of him..

Which is useful if you are a boxer, a policeman, a bodyguard.... most people don't need to beat up anybody else.

irish_bob

im over 6 ft 3 and ive never found it to be any kind of advantage , one poster mentioned that their partner was 6 ft 9 , thats awfull , personally i would perfer be 4 ft 9 than 6ft 9 , in fact id perfer be mini me , he seems to do ok with the ladies despite being vertically challenged

Fol20

Your biggest issue seems to be your height.

Whats so good about being tall.I for one standing at 6.3 doesnt see the big deal.The only thing its help you in is certain sports such as basketball but thats about it.Do you really want to be my height and be dancing in a club,i think not since youd feel like an fool.Everyone comes with the good and bads in life,Instead of thinking you have an odd face,think of it as a unique face with strong characteristics that help you stand out from all the other bland people.Instead of thinking like you have unmanly hands,think of it as soft hands like a babies bottom that any women would wanted to be to touched by.You get the idea.You feel like your the odd one out,but BELIEVE ME when i say this that everyone has things they dont like about themselves.

Hope this helps

LegacyUser

Unreg09 wrote: »

After doing a lot of research into the procedure I am considering having Leg Lengthening some time in the near future. Even though it would knock my proportions out of whack thanks to my already longer than average legs.... It's the most effective and really the only option. Unlike you I just cannot sit back and continue life without concern for my height. The past few weeks I have been waking up in the morning and checking my height a number of times desperately hoping to see that I have grown a bit with no joy.. It needs to be changed or I won't be able to live out my life. Thats it.

That's retarded. Seriously. What would you think if someone with anorexia told you the only way they would get over their weight problem was to not eat?
It's not your height that's the problem, it's your self image. Go see a professional and get over it before you do something so horrific to your body.

Flipz4Rollz

SoWatchaWant wrote: »

Looks aren't everything. Look at Jack Nicholson. What he lacks in that compartment, he makes up for in sheer charm.

You can make your hands muscly too, if you like. I envy my dad's hands, they're like a bear's paw. That's from 20 years of menial labour though. However, you can just exercise them!

Hope I've helped...:)

Also

Natural Selection, in the way you think of it, doesn't apply in the modern world as much as you think it does. Strength is of no advantage to a modern man, pretty much, even if it's useful to a tiger or whatever.

What is favoured in humans is social charm, etc, stuff that's all in the head.

The way he's talking i'd say he does enough "Hand Exercising".:p

Seriously, Looks aren't everything. Be lucky you don't have any major disabilties.

Slutmonkey57b

Unreg09 wrote: »

I'm average build/weight, weak and seem to lack a natural ability to gain muscle at a normal rate (Although not important as that can be changed)
I'm definitely not tall (which I only recently noticed about myself) being merely 5'9 and a half'' barefoot.. This is now by far the most depressing part about myself..

And of course size dictates physical strength and ability to defend oneself as well, making me clearly weaker and inferior to 80% of men I encounter or have to compete with.

I NEEDED height. One thing I could have had to be proud of. As well as giving me a much needed advantage in attracting women, I would feel more able as a man to stand up for myself or others. Just in general feel like a man.. And now that's gone too...

This is a great example of how depression warps your view not just of yourself, but of what your "flaws" really are. The truth is that very tall guys are at a disadvantage unless they're professional boxers. Short, stocky guys do very well in units like the SAS. How often do you get into fights that you have to win anyway?

The feeling of being a man that you're describing isn't proportional to height, or weight, or money. It's about how you feel within yourself, and that's something that you can work on, even if it doesn't feel like it now. I used to be in the same position of assuming it was impossible to put on weight, and feeling weak as a result (I was 6'2 and 11 stone). But with work and (most important) eating, I was able to put on close to 3 stone, change my body shape and feel better about myself - not because I suddenly looked different, but because I proved to myself that I could change the things I wasn't happy about. That's the most important thing - to prove to yourself that just because you don't like something about yourself, doesn't mean you can't fix it, and that as a result, it doesn't define who you are.

You are 19. You're at the point where you've come through the **** times in life (school) and now you can make your own way in the world. You don't need surgery, and you don't need drastic measures. The average male height is 5'10. You're an inch below that - that's the facts. You might feel small, or weak, or worthless, but you're not. You're just like everyone else and if you have the strength to tap it, you can improve yourself, and you won't need surgery to do it. Your problem is depression, and that's mental. It's treatable, and you can manage and beat it.

Adyx

:eek: I'm 5ft 5 (Male), I wear a size 7 shoe (I'm closer to a 6 though) and I have tiny, tiny hands. I also play the bass which looks huge on me, I still get the occasional good-natured joke but I never let it bother me. I don't understand how anyone could feel short when they're 5ft 9.

Sure the first thing people notice is my height but the people who get past that are the ones that end up lasting as friends or whatever.

LegacyUser

Unreg09 wrote: »

It's the OP here. Was surprised to see my thread revived this late.

Meant to reply at some point around the time I started getting responses but put it off as I was far from in the mood. When it drifted to the next page I decided not to knock it back up. I am thankful to all those who replied and the attention. Of course replying this late, it's easy to have suspicions on wether or not I'm the original poster. All I can do is assure you that I am the OP.

^ To the last poster, you are a similar height to me and can relate. Not just that but you are also a guitarist, as I am also. I'm a talented guitarist and really it's the only thing that's good about myself. However I would gladly give up my talent in return for an instant 3 inches without even thinking about it. Height is everything to me now.

After doing a lot of research into the procedure I am considering having Leg Lengthening some time in the near future. Even though it would knock my proportions out of whack thanks to my already longer than average legs.... It's the most effective and really the only option. Unlike you I just cannot sit back and continue life without concern for my height. The past few weeks I have been waking up in the morning and checking my height a number of times desperately hoping to see that I have grown a bit with no joy.. It needs to be changed or I won't be able to live out my life. Thats it.

Okay, were both 5'9, it sucks I know. For all of you guys that are saying 5'9 is average, its not. Anyway why are you so keen on going though surgery? Surgery is expensive and can screw up your body even more (not to mention give you weaker joints, and decreasing your overall strength.)

If you really REALLY NEED to gain height, I sugest wearing lifts or boots, Or but shoes that give you a couple inches. I wear boots all the time now ever since i turned 18 a couple years ago as height had never been a real problem untill this period in my life. You would be surprised at how even an inch or two difference can make you feel even if you dont hit 6ft. Dont set your standards at 6ft for now, try 5'10.5. Thats what I suggest, at least it will lessen the problem in the mean time.

Also you should see a therapist or someone you can trust about these feelings. I am seeing a therapist now actually (not just for height) and it seemed pointless at the beginning but you can't let these feelings rule you! You lose in life when that happens. Belive me I feel really bad that height is everything to you now, but that was me about a year ago so I know how you feel. I would like to continue to talk to you on this forum even if it is a little late on the post just to check in on how your doing. Please wait on surgery. You may regret it.

Also Im not sure I would trade my talent for 3 inches, its tempting, but Ill say no. Music is what helps me cope with all this ****. Keep doing music its a great hobby. Hope to hear from you soon.