BF slept with prostitute abroad....

LegacyUser

Was going through rough patch with BF when he went on hols abroad with his friend to Thailand. Im not naive so knew there would be good chance they would use prostitutes while there and told him I didn't want to know bout it - just be safe so he wouldn't come back with anything.

He's now home and condom split while over so he had to tell me and he's getting it checked out. Its starting to bother me now. What if he has got HIV? What if he thinks he can get away with cheating on me at home (I wouldn't put up with this).

Its put such a downer on his return. Now i'm questioning whether I should split up with him over this. This break was to give us time to think bout whether we wanted long term relationship. We are together a year now and happy most of the time but were both happy being single before.

Anyone got any advice?

beth-lou

You gave your boyfriend permission to sleep with a protitute and he did. What did you expect?

I honestly am baffled that any woman would accept this kind of behaviour. Leave him and work on your self esteem. That is not acceptable behaviour in a healthy relationship.

miders

you think its ok from him to cheat abroad?but on home turf its wrong?

homerun_homer

I know prostitution is more of a guy thing and it's not typical for girls to use a male prostitute, especially when travelling. So from my perspective I would be horrified if a girlfriend, on a break from me or not, slept with a prostitute. I'm not a prude by any means but I would find it such a cheap & sleazy thing for the OH to do, and it may not even boil down to a trust issue afterwards - just an ethical one.

The fact that he could now have an STD is further off putting. IMO you should get rid of him.

John Mason

OMG:eek:

you reap what you sow - you sent him off on holidays and gave him your blessing to sleep with prostitutes and now you are complaining

sorry no sympathy for you. get yourself and himself tested and pray he doesnt decide to go to Amsterdamn on holliers next year.

Seriously though - the mind boggles, i cant believe you told him it was okay to sleep with other people :eek:

Jumpy

beth-lou wrote: »

You gave your boyfriend permission to sleep with a protitute and he did. What did you expect?

I honestly am baffled that any woman would accept this kind of behaviour. Leave him and work on your self esteem. That is not acceptable behaviour in a healthy relationship.

To be fair, "healthy" relationships arent a set standard.
You forgot the "In my opinion" bit.

If it bothered her that much, she wouldnt have said it.
People should be really careful of what comes out of their mouth OP, if you didnt mean it, then dont say it.
Right now I would make it very clear that now the break is over that you are the one and only, any further carry on in the other women department will get him a swift gutter kick.
Of course if you cant get over it, then break it off. It wont be fair on you or him if you seethe over this.

Kintarō Hattori

Sleeping with a prostitute is never cool OP and you essentially gave him permission to do so. You need to take a long hard look at your relationship, ask yourself is it healthy/normal and where can it go.

Any guy who would willingly sleep with another woman doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.

That Girl..

Cheating on you with a random girl is soo not acceptable but with a prostitute, thats just disgusting..
Cheating is cheating and you practically gave him the right to sleep with someone else..

Thats not how a relationship is supposed to be..

I think you should stay away from him if he had no bother doing this to you.

partyguinness

The only positive here (no puns intended) is that he told you..he could have said nothing or denied it.

MagicMarker

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyone got any advice?

Retain what little self respect you have and get rid of him.

CianRyan

You gave him permision, he hasnt done anything wrong, relationship wise.

I'm against prostitution, so i dont think its good that he did it, weather he was with you or not.

I have no symapthy tbh, you can't tell some one its ok to do something and then get pissed off when they do it.
Wrecks my head when girls do this...

PurpleBerry

I do think you should seriously consider ending things with this bloke. Not for anything that he did in Thailand, after all, you gave him your full permission, but because of the fact that you do not mind if he cheats on you with a Thai prostitute. That rings an alarm bell.

I just personally feel that it's not quite healthy to not mind if he sleeps with foreign prostitues while on holiday. Surely if he were worthy of a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship then you would mind? That's assuming you want a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship.

Wagon

It's your own fault, you gave him permission. But your logic gave me a good aul' laugh all the same. Sort yourself out.

LegacyUser

Hi OP here again.

I'm not making excuses for him but....

I didn't tell him he could sleep with prostitute but did say if it happened to be careful. This trip was something he had planned before we met but at the time didn't happen. Then his mate asked him to go and as it was something he always wanted to do I agreed we would have that time to do our own thing to see if we really missed eachother which we did.

Thailand is known for its sex trade and I think most men who go there are curious and wanna try out stuff they can't at home. The guy with him did the same and his GF will probably never know. I know alot of people think its mad that I think this is ok but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him.

He is a great guy and I don't think he would ever cheat on me other than this and he is sorry (not only cause of condom splitting). He told me before he left he didn't wanna be with anyone else. I'm not having doubts cause of the prostitute...its the scare of the STI/HIV thats freaked me out. He's not gonna get off lightly over the cheating but we kinda were on break.

I do this its awful this has happened but I think I can get over it cause we are good together. I guess my attitude to these things is different to other people.

Craft25

It seems we've had enough of people telling the OP it was her own fault, i'm sure she's asked herself that question, everybody makes mistakes, now is the time to look forward. Having said that, i would want my girlfriend to want me passionately & exclusively, so if she gave me the 'green light' it would actually feel like a kick in the balls. He may have acted out a self fulfilling prophesy.

It is good that he told you, you have a period now waiting for the results where you can both take a hard look at things, possibly involve a third party, a counsellor/couples therapy. Try be unflinchingly honest and see where it leads.

Why was there trouble, was it because the magic wore off, it might be a time to take a pragmatic look at things?

Did the condom break and he got out of there and ran away? I can picture a situation where he's over there getting egged on by one of the lads, thinkin, "**** it, she doesnt even care if i do or i dont", goes in fumbles around, rips condom , runs away. I dont know, only you do, and i'm not absolving him of all guilt.. ask yourself, is he worth a chance. But youll both need concerted, prolonged effort on this one.

BaZmO*

Unregistered wrote: »

He's now home and condom split while over so he had to tell me and he's getting it checked out. Its starting to bother me now.

It's only starting to bother you now?

Unregistered wrote: »

What if he thinks he can get away with cheating on me at home (I wouldn't put up with this).

I'm sorry but if you give your boyfriend permission to cheat when he's away (and with a prostitute at that!) he's always going to think it's ok to cheat. He's stepped over the line now and it'll never be a big deal for him to do it again.

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyone got any advice?

Be more careful in your next relationship.

Gone Drinking

If i were you, i'd do what the condom did.. split.

DamoKen

Craft25 wrote: »

Having said that, i would want my girlfriend to want me passionately & exclusively, so if she gave me the 'green light' it would actually feel like a kick in the balls.

was thinking the same, if a girlfriend of mine said use protection when going away on a stag/lads weekend/whatever major alarm bells would sound. First thought would be wtf is she planning that weekend???

If you didn't think it was ok for him to do it you need to really learn how to express what you're thinking. Sounds like you took it for granted he was going to be with someone when away, that alone would end it for me.

Think you really need to examine your self esteem, resigning yourself to the "fact" your OH is going to stray while away and going for damage control rather than prevention is a really odd way of dealing with something that would normally spell the end of a relationship.

BaZmO*

Unregistered wrote: »

I didn't tell him he could sleep with prostitute but did say if it happened to be careful.

But by saying that you implied that it was ok.

Unregistered wrote: »

Thailand is known for its sex trade and I think most men who go there are curious and wanna try out stuff they can't at home. The guy with him did the same and his GF will probably never know. I know alot of people think its mad that I think this is ok but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him.

London is known for Jack the Ripper, doesn't mean you have to kill some Prostitutes when you go there.

I've been to Thailand and didn't sleep with a Prostitute, not that I think that there's anything wrong with, it's just not my thing, but I certainly didn't feel like I had to because it's expected.

Unregistered wrote: »

I guess my attitude to these things is different to other people.

I think you'll probably find that it is, but hey, it's your life and it's your choices.

petethebrick

I know a girl who gave the ok for her fella to sleep with a hooker in amsterdam while he was there on a lads weekend. Her reasoning was that she wanted him to 'get it out of his system' so he'd have no desire to try it in the future :eek:
needless to say they didn't last long^^

Delirium

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi OP here again.

I'm not making excuses for him but....

I didn't tell him he could sleep with prostitute but did say if it happened to be careful.

Did you actually tell him he couldn't sleep with a prostitute? Because I can't understand the logic of telling to use protection for something you told him you didn't want him doing.

Thailand is known for its sex trade and I think most men who go there are curious and wanna try out stuff they can't at home. The guy with him did the same and his GF will probably never know. I know alot of people think its mad that I think this is ok but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him.

This sounds like you don't have a problem with him having slept with a prostitute, just because he might never travel to Thailand again.

He is a great guy and I don't think he would ever cheat on me other than this and he is sorry (not only cause of condom splitting). He told me before he left he didn't wanna be with anyone else. I'm not having doubts cause of the prostitute...its the scare of the STI/HIV thats freaked me out. He's not gonna get off lightly over the cheating but we kinda were on break.

So now you're saying you weren't a couple when he went to Thailand?

Sorry if I'm picking things up wrong from your post, its just the way it reads to me.

PurpleBerry

I hope people here (including the OP) aren't assuming that the quote/unquote boyfriend only slept with one prostitute. It's possible but not likely.

LegacyUser

Just to clarify that I don't think its ok to use prostitutes but this was a once off for him and it wasn't pre-meditated. I don't think he used prostitute cause he thought i'd let him off with it if I found out. He said he didn't know how i'd react when he told me and was very worried about it. The situation was they were drinking all day & went to club where there was strippers and sex shows. The opportunity arose and since we were not sure what was gonna happen when the holiday finished he paid for sex. He didn't find her attractive, he feels guilty over it and he's never used prostitute before.

This is the longest relationship he's had and when we got together it was meant to be a fling but we just drifted into a relationship and before he left we talked bout a fresh start when he came home if we felt we missed eachother. The problem was we spent all our time together and became too dependant on eachother which wasn't healthy. We wern't sure if we were together just for convenience or because we loved eachother. While away he rang me and missed me and is glad to be home to me.

I was sorry I posted here when I read the first replies but I think its helped me sort it out in my head. I'm meeting him later to talk bout all this cause we havn't had much time since he got home. I understand why some people think I should not get back with him but I think its worth trying.

AnonoBoy

A once in a lifetime opportunity

?????

You do realise that there's prostitutes in Ireland too OP, don't you?

I hope you're abstaining from sex with him until he gets his results.

partyguinness

My current g/friend asked me had I ever been with prostitutes and I said no even though she said if I had it wouldnt bother her. She also asked how many women I ve slep with--golden rule-- NEVER TELL.

TBH- I have been with hookers in Canada, Mexico, Amsterdam, and Ireland.

While this is not a boast its prob double figures. Its all in the past (I hope!!). And yes I have been tested twice and all clear.

There is no way I would ever tell a g/friend.

No lectures please.

Sir Humphrey

Jumpy wrote: »

To be fair, "healthy" relationships arent a set standard.
You forgot the "In my opinion" bit.

"In my opinion" is surely an implied preface to every statement made here is it not?

Healthy relationships are certainly not a set standard but I would be surprised of the general spectrum is broad enough to include consorting with hookers or other women. People are funny like that sometimes.

LegacyUser

OP here again....

Yes I know there are prostitutes everywhere but he doesn't want to sleep with prostitutes. It was a once off and it was only one prostitute. He told me everything and I believe him. He hasn't put me at any risk cause he's gone to get checked out and we won't be sleeping together til we sort out this mess.

My first post was a bit vague....I should have said we were on a break but we both hoped the break would be good for us and believed we could sort things out when he got back. I think if I was in his position I would have experimented if I was away and didn't know what I was coming home to....although I wouldn't have chosen prostitute. The fact that it was prostitute is easier than if it was a girl he had fancied cause after all it was just for weird sex.

The reason I said bout the prostitutes to him before he left was cause I know other guys who were there who said they just did it outta curiosity. Maybe it was stupid thing to say but its done and can't be changed.

I am upset over it but it was one mistake. Im not a fool or a walk over and im not sure if it even was cheating because of the circumstances. I just wanted to talk to someone else bout it before I talk to him later.

LolaLuv

Unregistered wrote: »

I know alot of people think its mad that I think this is ok but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him.

I'm embarrassingly addicted to once-in-a-lifetime opportunities myself, but to accommodate that I stay single. If I were to get into a relationship, I would accept that it would mean an end to certain behaviors. I would not expect any guy I were with to look the other way sometimes so that I could still have single-gal adventures. This is largely because I'd have to care about someone an awful lot to give up being single for them, and caring means doing your damndest not to hurt the other person. Your man wants to have his cake and eat it too. The thing is, a relationship is about TWO people. Yours is currently only about one.

Sleipnir

Sir Humphrey wrote: »

"In my opinion" is surely an implied preface to every statement made here is it not?

ROFL! I know! It's such a silly, stupid thing to say! Of course it's my opinion, that's why I said it!



OP - You gave him permission to sleep with a hooker and now you wish...what? That he hadn't or that you hadn't given your permission?

TO be honest I'd be deeply offended if I was going to Thailand and my girlfriend said it would be okay if I shagged a hooker while I was over there.

"Jee, thanks darlin....."

beth-lou

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi OP here again.

I'm not making excuses for him but....

II do this its awful this has happened but I think I can get over it cause we are good together. I guess my attitude to these things is different to other people.

Your attitude to this isn't so different to other people. If it was you wouldn't now be questioning if he might cheat on you at home and aside from the testing thing, it wouldn't have raised doubts in your head. Once he gets the all clear, you'd forget about it and move on.

Your posts however suggest that contarary to how you thought you might feel about the situation, and all of the logic that you have used to excuse the act, your heart is hurting a bit and you are feeling a bit insecure. It's ok to feel like that. You're only human.

But sleeping with a virtual sex slave is not a once in a lifetime opportunity, there are lots of prostitutes here. I've been to Thailand, and I can tell you that prostitution is not glamourous or nice and the girls are for the most part in a bad situations, most of them paying off family debts. I would have to question how I felt about any man who could ignore that. And that's before I came to deal with how he could do that to me.

It's ok not to be cool with it. You're not going to be the greatest girlfriend on earth and it won't make it any easier to deal with if you keep telling yourself it was inevitable and it was the best way to deal with it. Be honest with yourself and be honest with him and the best of luck whatever you decide. But don't brush your feelings under the carpet in the hope that this will go away.

BaZmO*

At the risk of sounding all Ross Geller on this one, but if you were on a break he has done nothing wrong other than maybe telling you what he did, but his hand was kinda forced on that one.

You were silly to tell him it was ok to go with one in the first place but by the sounds of things you were trying to act all breezy and cool and didn't want to put pressure on him but you were even sillier bringing up the subject in the first place. As you've already said though, it's done now and you can't do anything about the past. But you can sort out your present future and as to whether or not you're both past the point of no return.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here again....

Yes I know there are prostitutes everywhere but he doesn't want to sleep with prostitutes. It was a once off and it was only one prostitute. He told me everything and I believe him. He hasn't put me at any risk cause he's gone to get checked out and we won't be sleeping together til we sort out this mess.

My first post was a bit vague....I should have said we were on a break but we both hoped the break would be good for us and believed we could sort things out when he got back. I think if I was in his position I would have experimented if I was away and didn't know what I was coming home to....although I wouldn't have chosen prostitute. The fact that it was prostitute is easier than if it was a girl he had fancied cause after all it was just for weird sex.

The reason I said bout the prostitutes to him before he left was cause I know other guys who were there who said they just did it outta curiosity. Maybe it was stupid thing to say but its done and can't be changed.

This is fairly naive.

If he didn't want to sleep with prostitutes then he wouldn't have done so.

Guys choose a prostitute they fancy where possible. Do not think for a moment she had a face like a bag of spanners. More likely a super-fit 18 year old Thai with a body to die for.

And the best laugh of all is that guys told you they slept with prostitutes out of curiosity! The instinct is much more base than that! You catch a look at your ex's new squeeze out of "curiosity". You sleep with hookers because it's easy hassle-free no-strings sex and you like that. It's a different matter. Let be real here.

If it was a question of curiosity then you'd find a hooker in this country is approximately 10 seconds on the net. You don't have to a few thousand miles to satisfy that curiosity. It's not like it's Sydney Opera House. There's one in every town.

Men come in two types - those who sleep with hookers and those who don't. The location is irrelevant believe me. Your boyfriend is one of the former group....end of.

LegacyUser

to be honest i would look at it no differnet then a one night stand in ireland. he just needs to get checked out...
you were on a break and its the done thing in thailand....you can pick someone up a in a restaurant there and not pay anything but still have sex that night with her.

It is nearly impossible to go to thailand and not have sex with a girl...ive been there...would you be ok if it was more than one ????

you are an open minded person, and thats good for you. it would of been worse if you told him not to in a stern way and he came back, lied that he was with no one , then had sex with you only to find out you have an STD.

TheZohanS

Unregistered wrote: »

Thailand is known for its sex trade and I think most men who go there are curious and wanna try out stuff they can't at home.

Yes it is well known for it's sex trade but you are incorrect in thinking that most men want to "try out stuff they can't at home".

I have been over twice, and both times I was with a gang of around 10 mates.

NONE of us went near any prostitutes.


It doesn't matter if your b/f's condom split or not; you still have a chance of being infected with several nasties through him.

Genital warts is one.

I would suggest you read the sticky on STI's, condoms do not protect you from many different diseases that you can catch.

partyguinness

A few years back buddies of mine went to Australia for a year and on the way over they stopped in Thailand for some RnR.

One of the lads was with a hooker and the condom split.

By the time he got to Australia he was riddled with genital warts. His first week in Australia he is in a clinic getting his knob frozen and hacked at.

gabigeist

Good post OP

Fairly upstanding of him to tell you IMO.

You have to ask yourself though: 1) Did he tell you just to give you a reason to break up permanently?
2) Has this irrevocably broken the trust in your relationship?

If the answer is no to both then you have as good a chance as any.

Best of luck

mirwillbeback

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Sleeping with a prostitute is never cool OP and you essentially gave him permission to do so. You need to take a long hard look at your relationship, ask yourself is it healthy/normal and where can it go.

Any guy who would willingly sleep with another woman doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.

No doubt if it were a girl who cheated, you would feel a second chance is deserved. :rolleyes:

Bottle_of_Smoke

In response to your actual PI. It's very unlikely he'd catch HIV. It's extremely difficult for men to catch it from having sex with women. Though I'd be getting the test if I were him for peace of mind.

IF he went to thailand he was probably vaccinated against Hepititis B. If the prostitute was an injecting drug user theres a hepititis C risk, afaik its generally not passed on with sexually activity,though still a possibility.

Now, he's more likely to have caught chlamydia, gonnorrea or syphallis - curable with antibiotics, so not a major issue.

What also may have caught was Herpes and HPV - Herpes is a virus that causes more painful cold sore type blisters for the genitals which come and go. Condoms don't stop it. Incurable.

HPV - a virus with multiple strains. Some are harmless and the body's immune system kills them off. Others cause genital warts(most comon sti in Ireland), if they show up he'll require treatment but the body can eventually get rid of them altogether. He could pass this virus on to you even if he has no warts and he's undoubtedly been exposed to it. Other strains can lead to cervical cancer, though most people who've had sex even once or twice with "normal" people will already have been exposed to that strain.

I'm sure there's plenty more but those would be the common ones.

gd1987

Facepalm

Sir Humphrey

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Any guy who would willingly sleep with another woman doesn't deserve to be in a relationship.

I take it then that you would be more flexible about guys who unwillingly sleep with another woman - the selfless altruistic guys who grit the teeth and just get on with it for the greater good? I would say they have indeed earned the right to be in a relationship, unlike the other ne'er-do-wells you mention.

LegacyUser

speaking in an entirely general manner. People do sometimes just make mistakes. Obviously I cannot acurately comment on the OP's OH. But, a friend of mine slept with a prostitute about 5 yrs ago while backpacking around eastern Europe. It was once of thing. He was single at the time. But I can tell you now, for two years he battled with depression, anxiety and self disgust because of it. He had had a lot to drink and coupled with that and been surrounded by amazing looking women with little or nothing on, he went for it.

He claims it was the worst mistake of his life. He hasn't talked about it for a few years now but sometimes I wonder does he still battle his conscience over it. Does this one act define him as a person or is he bad because of it? I think not. He made a mistake, he learned for it and felt crap about it for a long time. I am sharing this because some of the posts aimed specifically at the OPs OH are nasty solely on the basis that he slept with a prostitute. Thats a wrong attitude to have towards people. After all, we are all human and all make mistakes. In the grand scheme of "evilness" sleeping with a prostitute once in a life time is right down the bottom of the list if you ask me.

Nevyn

gd1987 pictures are disabled for this forum to prevent that type of a reply
which was no helpful or on topic, I suggest you read the charter for this forum
as unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.

cojomo2

Unregistered wrote: »

It is nearly impossible to go to thailand and not have sex with a girl...ive been there...would you be ok if it was more than one ????

STD.

total rubbish...im a red blooded 27 yo male with a girlfriend, ive been to thailand 6 or 7 times and go there 3 times a year, quite often alone and have never ever thought about sleeping with a prosi...i was in a bar with naked dancers once with a mate of mine and was only there 5 mins when a prosi was trying to sell herself to me..i just laughed it off and said ''no thanks i have a girlfriend'' ..the only other people in that bar were fat middle aged men, mostly english..they were such sleezy perves ...some in their 60's with 18 yo girls...and they probably tell their wife they are away on a 'golfing trip'...i just remembered thinking how discusted i would be if i thought my dad ever got up to something like that..

i really cant understand why sm1 would pay for sex, unless they are ugly as hell and single...even still, its taking advantage of a girl in a bad situation ..

MagicMarker

OP, it's time to OPEN YOUR EYES!!

1. It was premeditated, he knew he was going to have sex, and so did you if it even came up in conversation before he left!

2. By telling him to ''be careful'', you gave him your approval.

3. You're defending him saying how you were on a ''break'', yet in more than one post you've referred to cheating and asking whether you should break up with him... which is it?

3. There's no chance she was ugly, he probably fancied the arse off her. I know I would, it's practically every male's fantasy (the thai ladies that is, not the hooker part)

4. The condom didn't break as there probably was no condom. But of course he wouldn't tell you that.

LegacyUser

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

In response to your actual PI. It's very unlikely he'd catch HIV. It's extremely difficult for men to catch it from having sex with women. Though I'd be getting the test if I were him for peace of mind.

IF he went to thailand he was probably vaccinated against Hepititis B. If the prostitute was an injecting drug user theres a hepititis C risk, afaik its generally not passed on with sexually activity,though still a possibility.

Now, he's more likely to have caught chlamydia, gonnorrea or syphallis - curable with antibiotics, so not a major issue.

What also may have caught was Herpes and HPV - Herpes is a virus that causes more painful cold sore type blisters for the genitals which come and go. Condoms don't stop it. Incurable.

HPV - a virus with multiple strains. Some are harmless and the body's immune system kills them off. Others cause genital warts(most comon sti in Ireland), if they show up he'll require treatment but the body can eventually get rid of them altogether. He could pass this virus on to you even if he has no warts and he's undoubtedly been exposed to it. Other strains can lead to cervical cancer, though most people who've had sex even once or twice with "normal" people will already have been exposed to that strain.

I'm sure there's plenty more but those would be the common ones.

Its really nice to see someone posting some real sense and facts on this forum for once.

Op as BoS says, HIV is highly unlikely for a one time hetrosexual exposure and although the condom did break he would have been protected up to the point of the breakage. So the risk is lower again.

He would not have caught hep c unless he had vigorous ANAL sex with the girl and even then it is quite low risk.

As BoS states, quite a low risk fro hep b too especially if vaccinated which I am sure he was.

syphilis is very rare even among prostitutes. not impossible that he would have got it but very rare none the less.

Herpes - this is the only point I slightly disagree with BoS on. Condoms have been proven to provide approximately 50% protection against HSV transmission. Although in your particularly case that doesn't matter as the condom broke. The chances of HSV transmission is something in the region of 1 in 1,000 per single exposure. this is reduce to 1 in 2,000 with condom use and 1 in 4,000 with condom use and anti-viral regime. So at 1 in 1,000 its highly unlikely that he caught it. If he hasn't developed visible symptoms within 4 weeks from exposure then you can be fairly sure he didn't catch it.

As for HPV - just don't worry about it. condoms are 70% effective against HPV but it only takes one exposure to get it but generally its not a big deal. just be on the look out for visible symptoms (warts) of low risk type and have annual pap smears to ensure effective treatment against higher risk strains.

Stheno

Imo you were on a break, he was free to behave as he wished, did so, and has told you of the possible risks of his behaviour.

If I were you, I'd abstain from having sex until the tests are through, then work through the issues that caused your break in the first place (if you can)

Best of luck

Peared

I cannot belieeeevve the focus on the prostitute part and how wrong and awful it is to have sex with one. Not everybody thinks like that.

To be honest I find the profession of the woman largely irrelevent.

OP I would just concentrate on the fact that to put it bluntly your boyfriend wants to have sex with other women on 'special occasions'. You have to look to the future and think about stag nights, work dos, lads holidays etc.

You will always be wondering.

Dave!

The fact that you took a break indicates that your relationship was rocky to begin with... and then he went off and shagged a hooker...

And you're questioning whether you should split with him?!

GTFO

MJOR

I don't want to be mean but every single time you come back to answer you are justifying what he did. "we were on a break" and all this lark really doesn't ring through. I hope that health wise he is ok.

This is not a good place to be in. Sleeping with hookers while abroad isn't too clever. Come to think of it its not clever anywhere. HIV and all other STDs are on the up. Don't stay with this guy. He should have kept it in his pants if he was coming back to you.

Kold

I'd disregard what these people say. If you're fine with it, you're fine with it. Just make sure he gets tested and voice your opinions to him. Jesus, talk about the thought police in here.

partyguinness

Kold wrote: »

I'd disregard what these people say. If you're fine with it, you're fine with it. Just make sure he gets tested and voice your opinions to him. Jesus, talk about the thought police in here.

And what...??...listen to you instead..

Are you aware what this is? Thats right...'A discussion forum'..now repeat twice more..:rolleyes: