Giving out your number

GrayD

Girls,
Can i ask a serious question?

How hard is it to get a number from a girl?
What I mean really is this... suppose a guy sees a really nice girl and decides to go up and talk to her, it might be at the supermarket, at the busstop, in a bookshop, whereever...

As long as the guy isn't creepy, if he just tries to say hi and have a little banter... What are the chances he might get your number if he was to ask?

This might sound a stupid question but if I see a nice girl I see how reason why I shouldn't go over and say hello. If she's not too busy or having a bad day its cool if she chats back but some girls I know think it'd be creepy to give out a number during the day...

Girls always say they hate drunken slobs so if a guy is genuine, funny and complimentary, why is it creepy to give him your number if its NOT creepy to give it to some guy perving all over you at the bar later that night.

Do girls have a hangup about this and if so why? I'd have thought this would be much more acceptable by now.???

Lola123

Personally, i'd probably be a bit taken aback (i think ireland is still a wee bit behind the times in this area:rolleyes:) but flattered at the same time. If I felt there was an attraction I'd defo give my number. I'm not sure why people would find it "creepy"?

G86

To be honest I'd find it a little odd if some randomer just came up and asked for my number in th street, but if a guy came up and chatted to me and THEN asked then I'd be all for it. I think it'd be dead sweet, but you'd have to have some nerve to do it!

beks101

GrayD wrote: »

This might sound a stupid question but if I see a nice girl I see how reason why I shouldn't go over and say hello.

GrayD, please do.

I think we need more of this sort of casual chatting up in this country as too many people are stuck in the mindset that you have to be out 'on the pull' for this to happen and only then is it acceptable to ask for a girl's number.

Obviously this isn't how everyone thinks, but judging by the amount of threads started in PI by single people who can't meet anybody, it can pose a problem for people who aren't into the club/pub scene.

Personally, obviously it depends on the guy and the method of approach, but I think I'd be pretty flattered and impressed because in my opinion it's a pretty ballsy thing to do!

GrayD

Well yes I know it depends on the guy and the approach...

Like if someone straight out asks you for a number fomr nowhere or lurks around the magazine stand for 5 mins, yeah, thats creepy.

But I hear so many girls go on about lack of quality men in ireland and theat they're all drunk and stuff at night.

Yet if you approach them sober on a night out and they either just paint you as a drunk guy anyway or since your not half cut you aren't jumping around being a dancing monkey for them then your too boring or whatever...
...so girls hate bars....

... so why not try by day? If it makes sense and like she's not cornered or doesn't need to rush away... Whats wrong with asking a girl for her number, maybe get a coffee sometime? To me this seems much less pressure and your actually meeting a genuine honest guy who thought you looked nice and just wanted to meet you.

But most girls are freaked out by a daytime approach... Even if the interaction is great and she laughing and comfortable , most girls will either not give the number or else she will and then flake...

I don't get it... if girls complain about drunk guys in clubs, then why are ye creeped out by a genuine guy who's not like that? I don't get it.

Personally I'd prefer this approach or at least a sober conversation in a pub cos dancing around being mr. enertainer in a nightclub for girls just isn't me. I don't need to put on a show to impress anyone while looking like an idiot. Just me though it seems who doesn't want to do it, yet won't get any girls without.

georgem25

I would probably be a bit freeked out but only becasue its not the usual way its done in this country. But if I did find him attractive I hope I would get over it and give him my number

Galvasean

I don't think it's recognised as being socially 'normal' just yet. A few times I've tried starting off conversations with girls in public places - train stations, book shops etc. - and they generally look like I have done something completely daft and inappropriate. Then again maybe I'm creepy looking.

CeilingCat

beks101 wrote: »

GrayD, please do.

I think we need more of this sort of casual chatting up in this country as too many people are stuck in the mindset that you have to be out 'on the pull' for this to happen and only then is it acceptable to ask for a girl's number.

Obviously this isn't how everyone thinks, but judging by the amount of threads started in PI by single people who can't meet anybody, it can pose a problem for people who aren't into the club/pub scene.

Personally, obviously it depends on the guy and the method of approach, but I think I'd be pretty flattered and impressed because in my opinion it's a pretty ballsy thing to do!

+1
Totally agree.

I had this happen to me once in my life, in London, and I was completely bewildered by it, being as I was from Ireland and totally not used to it at all

Gave him my number though

likely_lass

happened to me once, but he actually gave me his number on a bit of paper and said if i wanted to i should give him a text. I thought it was really sweet and did but it was a classic case of a bad match !

LightningBolt

Getting your number from a girl here is a bit more difficult than other places. Best thing is to suggest giving them your number if you've clicked or she's smiling at you whenever you glance at her, otherwise you'll come across as weird and creepy if you were to do it randomly.

banshee_bones

I would be flattered but tbh honest iv stopped giving it out seen as it is never used!
so sorry guys please dont take our numbers if you have no intention of using it!

sambuka41

I think it would be great to be chatted up in the shops! Takes a lot of courage to go up and ask in middle of the day so fair play! I would offer your number tho,could ask for hers and if she uneasy bout giving it then offer yours. Would be one way of showing that you're genuine and not creepy!!!:D

seanybiker

banshee_bones wrote: »

I would be flattered but tbh honest iv stopped giving it out seen as it is never used!
so sorry guys please dont take our numbers if you have no intention of using it!

Ill ring ya

The Saint

I don't think I'd have the balls to do it to be honest. I'd probably walk up mutter, mix up my words, dribble and basically fumble around like an idiot until she pepper sprayed me, screamed or called the guards. I'm not the smoothest charcter in the world anyway.

metrovelvet

In the US the phone does not stop ringing with random marketing people and insurance and god knows who calling you so to give your number is not a big deal since you probably arent going to answer the phone anyway or will screen your calls. So if these random people can get your phone number even if you are unlisted then, no I dont think it is a big deal to give out your number. It would be a question of laziness or being bothered for me.

homerun_homer

banshee_bones wrote: »

I would be flattered but tbh honest iv stopped giving it out seen as it is never used!
so sorry guys please dont take our numbers if you have no intention of using it!

It works both ways.

This happened me a few years ago when I was helping my cousin at a market. An American girl came up and started chatting and asked me for my number. I was taken aback and surprised and gave it to her for having the guts to do it, though I wasn't sure if I would be interested.
She never called anyway.

I would be scared of doing it. Tried it once and it worked so it does have a 100% success rate, don't want to ruin it.:pac:

RacoonQueen

Lola123 wrote: »

Personally, i'd probably be a bit taken aback (i think ireland is still a wee bit behind the times in this area:rolleyes:) but flattered at the same time. If I felt there was an attraction I'd defo give my number. I'm not sure why people would find it "creepy"?

Galvasean wrote: »

I don't think it's recognised as being socially 'normal' just yet. A few times I've tried starting off conversations with girls in public places - train stations, book shops etc. - and they generally look like I have done something completely daft and inappropriate. Then again maybe I'm creepy looking.

I think this is it. It's not really the 'done' thing here is it? Nor is asking someone on a date below a certain age. None of my relationships were started from being asked on a date first. They all sort of just happened. I have friend in the UK who can't believe I've never been 'asked out'

LolaLuv

Giving out your number is a totally different thing in the States, I guess. I've had guys ask for it after 5 minutes of chatting. I've always given it to them, even if I wasn't into them, because I figured I'd just ignore their calls lol. I feel like I've been asked for my number a lot here, too, though. Lots of semi-strangers in my phone book.

I never realised people thought this was actually weird until recently.
A friends friend asked me out in a shop, and when I went to vet him.
She was totally freaked out by it. ~shrug~
I just assumed that it wasn't done because we are a shy people.
It impresses me no end tbh. Well at least here it does.

LolaLuv

Moonbaby wrote: »

It impresses me no end tbh. Well at least here it does.

That's the thing; you can really learn a lot about a guy by the way he asks for your number. Sometimes they're very smooth about it which is sexy as hell. Much better than just flat-out saying "So can I get your number?" Laaaaame.

banshee_bones

seanybiker wrote: »

Ill ring ya

ha ha thats cute



but i bet ya wouldnt really though....

4zn76tysfajdxp

PillyPen wrote: »

That's the thing; you can really learn a lot about a guy by the way he asks for your number. Sometimes they're very smooth about it which is sexy as hell. Much better than just flat-out saying "So can I get your number?" Laaaaame.

Define "smooth."

LolaLuv

Moshe Slow Gemstone wrote: »

Define "smooth."

Just bringing it into the conversation in a flirty sexy way instead of being totally direct about it. I can think of a couple examples, but a lady never tells. :cool:

4zn76tysfajdxp

PillyPen wrote: »

Just not bringing it into the conversation in a flirty sexy way...

Shít. Plan B it is...

LolaLuv

Moshe Slow Gemstone wrote: »

Shít. Plan B it is...

I'm afraid to ask but what's plan B?

4zn76tysfajdxp

PillyPen wrote: »

I'm afraid to ask but what's plan B?

Begging.

Stheno

Moshe Slow Gemstone wrote: »

Begging.

Urgh, that's so unsexy/unmanly, uneverything

Unless.........................:D

LolaLuv

Moshe Slow Gemstone wrote: »

Begging.

I don't buy it for a second. If Moshe Slow Gemstone can't find a witty way to get a girl's number, then no man anywhere stands a chance!

4zn76tysfajdxp

nouggatti wrote: »

Urgh, that's so unsexy/unmanly, uneverything

Unless.........................:D

No, I'm not a transsexual.

PillyPen wrote: »

I don't buy it for a second. If Frada can't find a witty way to get a girl's number, then no man anywhere stands a chance!

That's why it's not done in this country.




And we have come full circle...

Snowie

i remember i meet a girl one night out she gave me her number....

so i waited till the morning at the time i wasnt hugely confident so i texted her and said hey how are you she replyed who's this....
I gave my name and she text back " I dont remember you"

I never wanted to crawl into a hole and hide lmao........

LolaLuv

Moshe Slow Gemstone wrote: »

That's why it's not done in this country.




And we have come full circle...

All lies! I've met some very smooth Irish men. (And some epic losers, but we'll pretend those ones were Scottish. :pac:)

4zn76tysfajdxp

PillyPen wrote: »

(And some epic losers, but we'll pretend those ones were Scottish. :pac:)

Aye, lets.

likely_lass

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

i remember i meet a girl one night out she gave me her number....

so i waited till the morning at the time i wasnt hugely confident so i texted her and said hey how are you she replyed who's this....
I gave my name and she text back " I dont remember you"

I never wanted to crawl into a hole and hide lmao........

AWH you poor thing, if she couldn't remember you she was probably a slut so your best of without!

Snowie

likely_lass wrote: »

AWH you poor thing, if she couldn't remember you she was probably a slut so your best of without!

Well at the time i wanted to die now im just like MEH ... and its so FUNNY... makes me laugh

but my point is if a girl gives me her number i will contact her ... but you gotta geta chicks number in a smooth way

Saying as pillypen said : So do you wanna give me your number ? is the lameist way ..... you gotta flirt with a lady to ask her for her number more fun ......

Samba

GrayD

Email every woman's magazine that you know of distributed in Ireland and link this thread, ask them to run an article on......

Something to the effect.. daytime pickup tips, how to attract men during the day, spotting Mr. Right in the light of day. You get the idea

Once the articles have been thoroughly distributed, away you go.

You should get far less, what planet are you from looks.

Smooth doesn't cut the mustard with me at all at all.
Besides I'm too easily confused to be aware of what is happening unless someone is straight up.
I think being able to put your balls straight on the line, is a sign of real confidence.

Nevyn

I don't give my number out to strangers, random people or mere aquantices.
I have had the same mobile number for the last 10 years and never had any hassle with
unwanted texts/calls.

So no way a person who I have just meet is going to get given my phone number off me.
Also anyone who has my number knows that they don't pass it on to people with out checking with me first if I want that person to have my number.

I do and will give out one of my email addresses and if thats not good enough of too much effort then that works for me in screening people out.

homerun_homer

Moonbaby wrote: »

I think being able to put your balls straight on the line, is a sign of real confidence.

So there are no rules since there are 2 versions going on here on what girls prefer. Just don't be weird or sleazy about it lads... or Scottish!!

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't give my number out to strangers, random people or mere aquantices.
I have had the same mobile number for the last 10 years and never had any hassle with
unwanted texts/calls.

See I think that if your going to have proper phone hassles in your life, Its not going to be from a stranger.
If someone is that bothered it is personal and they are likely to be or have been very close to you.

I've just lost a lovely phone number to my stupid ex.

Nevyn

Moonbaby wrote: »

See I think that if your going to have proper phone hassles in your life, Its not going to be from a stranger.
If someone is that bothered it is personal and they are likely to be or have been very close to you.

I've just lost a lovely phone number to my stupid ex.

Most of my ex know me and would rather not declare war

Black Swan

GrayD wrote: »

Girls always say they hate drunken slobs so if a guy is genuine, funny and complimentary, why is it creepy to give him your number if its NOT creepy to give it to some guy perving all over you at the bar later that night.

I'm just the opposite in terms of pubs and clubs, where I go to be with friends I know (never to meet randomers). You would have more luck getting my number in some relaxed chatty social setting like a coffee house, or at a sporting event where we all have fun cheering our team to victory... Of course, the attraction would have to be mutual too.

homerun_homer

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

You would have more luck getting my number in some relaxed chatty social setting like a coffee house

But here's the thing, people go to coffee houses to relax, read a paper, chat to a friend and not be bothered. It's not exactly somewhere where someone will look at you, like in a club, and start up a conversation, or somewhere you should expect to bump into a dashing stranger. That's what people expect to happen and expect to do in a club/pub.

Black Swan

homerun_homer wrote: »

But here's the thing, people go to coffee houses to relax, read a paper, chat to a friend(s) and not be bothered. It's not exactly somewhere where someone will look at you, like in a club, and start up a conversation, or somewhere you should expect to bump into a dashing stranger.

Coffee houses do not have a rep as a "meat market," consequently when you encounter someone, there is no pressing need for males to produce silly one-liners. Conversation is more natural, and in the coffee houses that I often frequent there are more students, faculty, and creative art types that will often engage you in all sorts of interesting topics. Occasionally you meet someone mutually attractive and you would like to see them again... so numbers are exchanged.

The coffee house was just one example of a relaxed social setting, there are others. When I was last in a Brussels chocolate house I ended up in conversation with a couple of lads while sipping a rich brew, and we chatted for quite some time before I got asked for my number.

Of course I am a uni student, and that may make a difference? I've never had problems getting dates. Sharing classrooms, sporting events, house parties, etc., with lads all the time breaks down barriers, to where you don't need to be on the prowl in a pub or club to meet someone new.

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Most of my ex know me and would rather not declare war

Being a ray of sweetness and light obviously does me no favours




Cafe culture doesn't work in Ireland. Unfortunately.

Black Swan

Moonbaby wrote: »

Cafe culture doesn't work in Ireland. Unfortunately.

Unfortunately indeed! I've been away for more than 3 years and was a bit young when I left, so I'm out of touch.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

shellyboo

likely_lass wrote: »

AWH you poor thing, if she couldn't remember you she was probably a slut so your best of without!

Um... what? Being so drunk you can't remember someone now makes you a slut? More likely she was an inconsiderate idiot, but I'm not sure how being rude automatically makes someone a slut.

Thaedydal wrote: »

I do and will give out one of my email addresses and if thats not good enough of too much effort then that works for me in screening people out.

Excellent fool filter, Thaed. Me likey.

Real Clare Man

I walked up to a stunning Russian lady in the street who I had noticed occasionally over the course of a few months. I gave her my email address and we now email regularly.....she is soooo hot.

homerun_homer

Real Clare Man wrote: »

I gave her my email address and we now email regularly.....she is soooo hot.

"She's so hot like a curry.. She's so hot she's making me sexist... bitch":pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT5AQIlmM0I

I've only gave my e-mail to people I've met who I want to be friend's with, never thought about it as something to pass to someone I'd like to ask out but then again I think it's because phones are more immediate and some people don't go on the internet as much as us boardsies.

petethebrick

Real Clare Man wrote: »

I walked up to a stunning Russian lady in the street who I had noticed occasionally over the course of a few months. I gave her my email address and we now email regularly.....she is soooo hot.

If I wanted to email a hot girl regularly I'd get a hot penpal or just email some hot randomer on myspace - isn't the point of exchanging/giving contact details to then schedule an actual date as opposed to texting/emailing on end?

Snowie

shellyboo wrote: »

Um... what? Being so drunk you can't remember someone now makes you a slut? More likely she was an inconsiderate idiot, but I'm not sure how being rude automatically makes someone a slut.

well thats some what how i feel but it was a long time ago