Going to pub niteclub byself

quinevere

would you consider going to a pub by yourself or is that still unsafe/ not proper ?

MagicMarker

It's neither unsafe (if you're not an idiot) or not proper, but it is a little pointless.

Weidii

Depends on two things:

1. Are you male or female?

2. Are you simply going to enjoy a match on your own or are you going on the prowl?

Personally I find it a bit strange when lone men approach me in nightclubs.

Dudess

Don't think gender should matter, or whether it's "improper"... but these, especially clubs, are social spaces so what's the point in going to them alone?

niceirishfella

its SAD, sadly

Dudess

It probably would be of benefit to the OP if you elaborated on that.

star-pants

OP I don't believe it's unsafe or not proper. Granted if you're in a dodgy pub/nightclub on your own drinking then it might not be the safest.
Some people head out on their own, but to be honest, I don't really see the attraction, I'd rather go out with friends. In saying that, I've gone to comedy gigs on my own, but I've known the people performing. Otherwise you'd just feel alone no?

quinevere

i suppose i've been down in the dumps recently and i'm i need to meet new people and i'm unsure about the best way to do it .

star-pants

Meeting new people would be better done in a more sober and open atmosphere.
Joining a club of sorts (sports/book/etc) or a dance/acting class, that way everyones open to making new friends, you'd have something in common with them to talk about and you wouldn't be awkwardly trying to make friends with a semi-knit group.

Onikage

Sounds like you should be staying away from the pub scene in that case. Why not call on some friends you haven't seen in a while? A new social circle might open up to you.

fonpokno

Quinevere am I right in thinking that you recently moved to Dublin and were finding it difficult to meet people? I think I remember you posting that a while ago...

Anyway, have you gone to any of the Ladies Lounge meet-ups? They can seem super unnerving but the ladies (and lads) on boards are some of the loveliest people i've ever met and new people are always made welcome.

Personally I wouldn't go to a club alone, I'd find it very intimidating and I'd be watching my back the whole night just in case. I'm paranoid and I'd imagine that I was presenting a target...

quinevere

fonpokno wrote: »

Quinevere am I right in thinking that you recently moved to Dublin and were finding it difficult to meet people? I think I remember you posting that a while ago...

Anyway, have you gone to any of the Ladies Lounge meet-ups? They can seem super unnerving but the ladies (and lads) on boards are some of the loveliest people i've ever met and new people are always made welcome.

Personally I wouldn't go to a club alone, I'd find it very intimidating and I'd be watching my back the whole night just in case. I'm paranoid and I'd imagine that I was presenting a target...

I was at one of the dos in the mercantile I found it hard to intergrate not being a fully pledge boarders and I did post about meeting people put in all honesty I think i'm a little guarded and been very good at cutting people off trying to work on this not successfully though

fonpokno

Yeah I thought so! I remember meeting you but I was a bit drunk at the time... The mercantile meet up you were at was a big-ish one and was difficult to get to know people at really. I think that was only my 3rd or 4th beers. I was ok with it cos my now boyfriend was there with me and is a boardsie.

The Ladies Lounge ones are smaller and are therefore much easier to go to than the bigger site-wide beers. Keep an eye on the sticky at the top of this forum, I think the ladies meet up quite regularly. Most of the ladies would be happy to meet you outside so you're not left looking around scared and confused in a bar somewhere.

Zaph

niceirishfella wrote: »

its SAD, sadly

And a complete lack of cop-on isn't? If you've nothing useful to add then perhaps you'd like to post elsewhere?

p1akuw47h5r3it

Goin pub on own is jus about acceptable but def not a club

Rabies

Working in a bar (not Ireland), I'm surprised at the amount of men and women that drink alone.
We get older men and women (30+) regularly in the day time. At night it would be more men than women. Men tend to walk around the bar trying to spark up random conversations and it usually works. Women tend to sit at the bar waiting for someone to approach them.
At night our age group is 18-50.
If we ever see girls sitting alone at the bar we keep an eye on them and make sure no one is being sleazy towards them. Couple of times we've had guys throw out, they expect a single girl to be an easy target.

OP, I'd say go to pubs alone if you want, but only go to a club alone if you feel safe and comfortable there. Clubs are all about scoring and pubs is the start of the night, more fun and easier to chat to people. Pick where ever you're going yo based on music, it can have a bearing on the customers.

likely_lass

Harry Savory Shaver wrote: »

Goin pub on own is jus about acceptable but def not a club

would have to agree

your chances of meeting anyone who will actually become your friend or more are very slim, men are usually only lookign for their "bit" on a night out and i cant really see you striking up conversation with a group of girls which is the way most of us go out

you might be better off joining something - like swimming and even though ive never been the LL meet-up would probably be great for you, you'll have a common interest

Agent Smith

I'm the sort of person, who wouldnt drink in a Pub on his own, would never go to a club by myself, thats for sure. I wouldnt eat in a resterant by myself either. i'd odd like that


I did notice in america (well, NYC) that this seems to be more socially acceptable. Maybe its starting to cross the water.

redout

Worked as a barman in town for several years and would say alot of men drink alone in pubs. Some read the paper, some come to watch a match and some just sit there and drink. Most sit around the bar counter and you get to know them after a while.

But women dont in general. I only ever saw a handful of women come on their own. Some were alcholics others were just eating lunch so that was not really that strange. I had a couple who did drink on their own but they were not Irish. One was an Aussie and the other a New Zealander so never any Irish women. I never judged either way. Its people's own business if they choose to go on their own or not.

LilOc

I go to pubs on my own very often. Don't feel any shame about it. Often to eat , have a quiet drink or read the paper or especially watch a match, before doing something else into town etc... Often start conversations with other people. I am quite chatty.

Have never been to a nightclub on my own and wouldn't feel as good about it but i think i could do it. Yet, the ideal is to go with friends for sure.

peanuthead

niceirishfella wrote: »

its SAD, sadly

I think thats a little harsh.

I personally wouldn't do it, and to be honest I wouldn't do it because I would feel weird. I'm lucky enough to have people to go clubbing with me so I don't have to worry about that anyway.

But I know of people who do it. Some people don't have friends to socialise with, so they go out in the hope to find someone to chat to. I know my father has often gone out to a club/pub on his own. Yes, he's a little old for it and yes, I wish he had someone to go with him in the first place, but he doesn't. And I dont like to think of people calling him SAD because he would rather be out trying to meet people as opposed to sitting at home moaning.

Nuravictus

I think what everyone is trying to say is if your friends dont go out much just sit inside & waste your life because its sad to go out alone.

Seriously if your going to go out alone thats fine, just be aware & dont get two drunk. I seen lots of people out of there own.

Tirabaralla

Since I am not irish but coming from abroad, since I was living in a very small community where it has been easy enough to know people but recently I moved to a city and also since I was traveling a lot the last months...I do go to pubs alone sometimes, sometimes I even bring with me a book or my notebook or laptop...I think of a time when pubs (in my country would have been bar or osterie) where a place to go and relax, make the odd chat, enjoy some spontaneous session of music...I am a bit sorry to see now everything it's much more aout being "coooool" all the time...I wish more people could feel confortable on their own...Obviously I love to go out with friends whenever it's possible, also.

the_syco

Pub & Nightclub. Depends what you want. Did the "going to pub alone" thing. Crap, and after a pint, would leave. Almost not go. You have to know which pub to goto. Some pubs attract large group of people, some pubs are meeting points in themselves. Other pubs, not such a meeting place, and thus would be easier to goto to meet people.

Nightclubs... are easier to walk around in. You goto a pub, you can't sit in one part, walk over to another part, and repeat. It looks odd. In 'clubs, you can. You can stand near someone, talk, wander around, an it's not seen as anything, as that's what you do in 'clubs: you walk around, dance, or chill. Again, depends on the 'club. Fibbers (metal bar/nightclub), you can wander around, grab a pint, chill, talk (or yell, depends where you're sitting ). In Dandelion (it's the underground nightclub top of Grafton Street, to the left of the shopping centre) you can talk easier, lots more room to walk around. Reds, and the like are meat factories, loud music, expensive. 50 girls, 200 guys. Reillys (pub/nightclub on Pearse Street)... dunno about the pub, but the 'club has a nice "college" type clintel. The place is a dive, but it's a nice spot, drink is cheap enough.

=-=

It's sad going to the wrong venue, looking for something that isn't there. Because of this, pick out a few pubs and 'clubs, and visit them. Check out the people that visit them, and decide if you'd feel safe drinking there. The ladies-lounge beers would be a good idea. The boards events may be intimidating, but once you get to know some of the, eh, um... girls*... here, you'll be fine.

*

Internet rule number one: everyone on the internet is a man until you meet in real life :P[/spolier]

Agent Smith

the_syco wrote: »

Pub & Nightclub. Depends what you want. Did the "going to pub alone" thing. Crap, and after a pint, would leave. Almost not go. You have to know which pub to goto. Some pubs attract large group of people, some pubs are meeting points in themselves. Other pubs, not such a meeting place, and thus would be easier to goto to meet people.

Nightclubs... are easier to walk around in. You goto a pub, you can't sit in one part, walk over to another part, and repeat. It looks odd. In 'clubs, you can. You can stand near someone, talk, wander around, an it's not seen as anything, as that's what you do in 'clubs: you walk around, dance, or chill. Again, depends on the 'club. Fibbers (metal bar/nightclub), you can wander around, grab a pint, chill, talk (or yell, depends where you're sitting ). In Sunflower (I think it's called Sunflower. it's the underground nightclub top of Grafton Street, to the left of the shopping centre) you can talk easier, lots more room to walk around. Reds, and the like are meat factories, loud music, expensive. 50 girls, 200 guys. Reillys (pub/nightclub on Pearse Street)... dunno about the pub, but the 'club has a nice "college" type clintel. The place is a dive, but it's a nice spot, drink is cheap enough.

=-=

It's sad going to the wrong venue, looking for something that isn't there. Because of this, pick out a few pubs and 'clubs, and visit them. Check out the people that visit them, and decide if you'd feel safe drinking there. The ladies-lounge beers would be a good idea. The boards events may be intimidating, but once you get to know some of the, eh, um... girls*... here, you'll be fine.

*

Internet rule number one: everyone on the internet is a man until you meet in real life :P[/spolier]

Sunflower = dandilion fyi

cuckoo

LilOc wrote: »

I go to pubs on my own very often. Don't feel any shame about it. Often to eat , have a quiet drink or read the paper or especially watch a match, before doing something else into town etc... Often start conversations with other people. I am quite chatty.

I do that too. Sometimes i want a quiet pint of Guinness, so I'll wander into a pub with a book and relax. More midweek or during the day though - I think it's a calmer atmosphere then. Would agree with other posters that it seems more of a thing that men do, rarely would i see another woman by herself.

Have gone to see bands play, or comedy, on my own. It's more social than a nightclub, I might have a few conversations with random people about the songs. I find nightclubs are just too loud for that, and in the dark it can be difficult sometimes to read people's intentions/attitudes.

Quinevere, if you feel strongly about any issues (saving the dolphins, the healservice, cycle lanes, etc) I'd suggest having a look around to see if there are any groups campaigning about it and then go along to a meeting. Everyone tends to go for a drink afterwards, it's relaxed and you already have something in common with everyone else and can chat about cycle lanes, dolphins, etc.

Rozabeez

I don't like being left alone in a club or pub for too long, I'm always afraid I'll look like a drunken loner or I've been stood up or something. Maybe that's why girls go to the bathroom together?

Tech3

Rozabeez wrote: »

Maybe that's why girls go to the bathroom together?

Nope its cause they put vodka in their handbag into the coca cola or red bull to save money. :eek:

Matt3

quinevere wrote: »

i suppose i've been down in the dumps recently and i'm i need to meet new people and i'm unsure about the best way to do it .

Just a wondering from me? Do you work, and if so would you have made any friends? more so female, who would be willing to go out with you?

I'm assuming by posting this thread, that you don't?

Cianos

Most people find it odd/sad/strange or whatever because they don't have the confidence themselves to go on a night out and not have their friends at their side to protect them. They are afraid other people will be looking at them thinking 'who the hell is he/she sitting by themselves?' ... when in reality no one has probably even noticed them. And if they have noticed and do think that, they are obviously a bit narrow minded and so you shouldn't really give a toss what they think.

If you feel like going, go. Simple as. Don't worry about what it will be like because if you find it rubbish you can just finish up your drink and leave. Instead of sitting at home bored and lonely, head out somewhere for a bit of craic. It may be sh*t or you may have a great night - pretty much the same as when you go out with friends anyway.

BKtje

I have gone out by myself (male) a few times, mainly when i'm bored and decide on the spur that i wanna do something. I'd usually head to a place with live music though so i can enjoy listening to that instead of just sitting at the bar drinking which i tend to do very quickly when i'm by myself.

That said going somewhere with live music isn't always the best place to go if you want to meet new people as music is generally loud. I've never been to a club by myself though, don't think i'd have the confidence.

As others have said, the smaller boards beers are great for meeting new people. The ladies lounge ones (dunno if they still going/when they start up again) or the nocturnal forum beers are great too. They happen almost every weekend at the moment, think some are even going out newyears.

Good luck whatever you decide

Pyr0

I wouldn't find it weird is someone told me they were at the pub by themselves, a nightclub on the other hand I'd find odd alright. I don't like sitting by myself waiting for friends to arrive or come back from somewhere for too long though, I'd start to feel like people are thinking I'm a loner !

Each to their own at the end of the day though.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Pyr0 wrote: »

I wouldn't find it weird is someone told me they were at the pub by themselves, a nightclub on the other hand I'd find odd alright.

Agreed

SW81

Try one of the smaller Boards Beers. The big ones would be daunting so maybe try a smaller one.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

SW81 wrote: »

Try one of the smaller Boards Beers. The big ones would be daunting so maybe try a smaller one.

I have been to a few smaller beers and they are definately a lot less intimidating than the larger beers, so they would be a good start!

Cianos

Pyr0 wrote: »

I wouldn't find it weird is someone told me they were at the pub by themselves, a nightclub on the other hand I'd find odd alright.

It's 'odd' because it's not commonly done, but doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. A friend of mine used to go out dancing by herself, just because she really liked dancing. She had a boyfriend but he had no interest, so when she was bored she'd just head off out by herself and dance for the night :pac:

redout

Cianos wrote: »

It's 'odd' because it's not commonly done, but doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. A friend of mine used to go out dancing by herself, just because she really liked dancing. She had a boyfriend but he had no interest, so when she was bored she'd just head off out by herself and dance for the night :pac:

I am sure himself was delighted.

MJOR

I'm not sure that you'd get what you wanted in a pub or nightclub. I reckon taking up a hobby or sport might be better.

RacoonQueen

Nothing wrong with it I suppose, wouldn't do it meself like.

quinevere

i do work as a retail manager long hours sometimes unsociable but i work mostly with fellas and would prefer so close girl friends, i also go to college one night a week.

MJOR

i did the retail manager bit and i understand its hard because you've to work late nights and saturdays and you can't really go on the lash with people that you work with when ur the boss. I'd defo suggest joining a site like anotherfriend.com

pfishfood

Jesus dear god no. Its just not safe anymore and gives out the wrong impression. if your lonely join a club or get some part time work or something.

Firetrap

I know a woman who does that. Goes to a pub and doesn't invite her friends to come with her. She's on the pull though...

Rozabeez

Come to think of it, I've done my college work in a pub alone (only place I could find a table )

empirix

i used to do this when i was a bit younger, on a saturday afternoon, usually had a good time and amount of times you bump into somebody you know is a bit mad ted, used to specialise around temple bar picking up tourist chicks etc, now im under the thumb and well its all a bit boring really, rather sit at home and scratch!!

bealbocht

used to love the "Martini Girls" in the USA.
Travelled there a bit on my own, and after a while noticed that "middle aged" women used to go to the bar after work and have a few drinks. They always seemed to be drinking martinis , so I coined the name.
Any that I met were always in good professions and very interesting to talk to.

One of the coolest I remember was the lawyer I met, who when asked when was her train she said it was in about 3 minutes. At which point she casualy finished her drink and turned to the bar man and said
"hey barman... martini to go"

Pretty cool in my book, and would like to see more of that here.

Epic Tissue

I wouldn't head out to a club by myself. Seems a bit pointless.

MementoMori

I would go to the pub on my own sometimes, got into the habit when travelling alone. Normally just for one or two. Usually during the day most times, but sometimes would be late at night when working shift - might head into the local for one or two on a Thurs or Friday around 11. Sometimes to watch a match, sometimes to get some grub, sometimes just in the mood for a handy pint. Would get chatting to people a fair bit - would be very dependent on the bar in question and time of day though. I wouldnt expect to make friends or meet anyone of the opposite sex though. Been to a nightclub once or twice or my own - mostly when travelling and I wouldnt be a major fan. Not as enjoyable as going with friends at all. I would go to the cinema on my own a lot - don't really see the point in making plans to spend time with people at a cinema since you're there to watch the film. Weirdest place I ever went on my own was a comedy gig - only reason I went on my own was cos my sister cancelled at the last minute and I was a fan of the comedian and already had tickets. Anyway I found it very surreal - don't really know why but I wouldnt really plan on ever going to a comedy gig on my own again - maybe because laughter is a social kind of thing. Comedian was good but I didnt get the same sense of enjoyment out of it. Weird.

nerraw1111

It's pretty normal to go to a bar/nightclub on your own /when traveling, just doesn't appear to be the same when it comes to Ireland as you can see from comments ranging from it being sad or dangerous.

I've a friend who won't even meet INSIDE a bar lest I'd be late and he'll look like he's on his own.

Try going to one of hte backpacker bars in Ireland, down underbar etc where there will be people on their own looking ot make friends.

Go for it.
I've been clubbing on my own too but that was to see a particular dj. Quite common to see people on their own at such gigs. Contrary to what someone else says, gigs are a great place to meet random people too, immediately something in common to talk about.

Gemini Sister

I've done the odd solo pint. The trick is to enter pub around 6-8pm and sit at bar, bring paper if it makes you feel more comfortable. You only really get talking when at bar.
If you meet cool people stay out, if not head home after drink no. 2 before you get plastered.
A few years back in dublin I knew no-one and wouldn't go for a solo drink cause I was afraid someone I knew would see me!! :rolleyes: but over that now.
I have a friend who does nightclubs alone but I've found that a bit lonely, but then she is very chatty. You have to be safety conscious of course.

Good luck

sc9736

nope never have, I think going to a pub alone with the paper is more of a man thing, like my dad would go for a quick/sly one and read his paper.....